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The Velveteen Ocelot

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21. A cowboy walks into a bar

Thu Nov 9, 2017, 07:13 PM

Nov 2017

and orders a beer. His hat is made of brown wrapping paper, his shirt and vest are made of waxed paper, and his chaps, pants, and boots are made of tissue paper. Before long the police arrive. They arrest the cowboy for rustling.

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What's your favorite "walks into a bar" joke? [View all] red dog 1 Nov 2017 OP

A horse walks into a bar muntrv Nov 2017 #1

A horse walks into a bar and orders a Scotch on the rocks, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #19

You made me laugh. Thanks. NT mahatmakanejeeves Nov 2017 #58

A horse walks into a bar. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #24

Lol! Beat me to it!! Docreed2003 Nov 2017 #51

Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bartender says... CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #2

Good one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #12

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer and a mop." Ptah Nov 2017 #3

Two guys walk into a bar... Sailor65x1 Nov 2017 #4

This is my favorite but my spin goes sdfernando Nov 2017 #84

(variation) A duck walks into a CVS and says, "Gimme some chapstick..." CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #5

A mushroom walks into a bar underpants Nov 2017 #6

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. SwissTony Nov 2017 #7

Yeah, but how long were liberalhistorian Nov 2017 #68

But they usually crawl (or get carried) out lame54 Nov 2017 #73

LOL, liberalhistorian Nov 2017 #86

a string walks into a bar... unblock Nov 2017 #8

So a piece of string.... CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #9

One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement.... CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #10

A pony walks into a bar. LuckyCharms Nov 2017 #11

Nice one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #37

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar... Gidney N Cloyd Nov 2017 #13

This message was self-deleted by its author PJMcK Nov 2017 #77

A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar connecticut yankee Nov 2017 #14

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. longship Nov 2017 #34

Rene Descartes walks into a bar The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #15

Speaking of Rene, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #20

A fly walks into a bar cyclonefence Nov 2017 #16

I like that one red dog 1 Nov 2017 #30

How about cyclonefence Nov 2017 #32

See reply # 17, (right below this one) red dog 1 Nov 2017 #48

I kinda think mine (well, Garrison Keillor's) is better cyclonefence Nov 2017 #55

Speaking of Prairie Home Companion, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #56

Another good one. NT mahatmakanejeeves Nov 2017 #59

Excellent cyclonefence Nov 2017 #61

I think so too. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #67

A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. Botany Nov 2017 #17

Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, and a Russian lawyer walk into a bar and ... Botany Nov 2017 #18

Good one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #22

A Canadian, a Texan and a tea bagger walk into a bar... red dog 1 Nov 2017 #25

A mobster, a pathological liar, and a sex offender walk into a bar. Bartender says, Leghorn21 Nov 2017 #33

Burn! mahina Nov 2017 #43

A cowboy walks into a bar The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #21

E-flat walks into a bar, the bartender says: "Sorry,we don't serve minors." red dog 1 Nov 2017 #23

Sorry, but a E flat isn't minor, it's just E flat, the location of a tone (sound) fierywoman Nov 2017 #82

Shows how much I know about music red dog 1 Nov 2017 #89

The vast majority of people who aren't musicians think a flat means minor. ALL fierywoman Nov 2017 #90

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? red dog 1 Nov 2017 #91

Good one!(sigh. coulda been MUCH worse!) fierywoman Nov 2017 #92

A sandwich walks into a bar. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #26

The past, present and future walk into a bar. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #27

I love that one! nt zanana1 Nov 2017 #87

A termite walks into a bar ... Beakybird Nov 2017 #28

A horse walks into a bar COLGATE4 Nov 2017 #29

Lucy and Ethel walk into a bar, missingthebigdog Nov 2017 #31

A Sikh, an atheist and a trans woman walk into a bar. Mayberry Machiavelli Nov 2017 #35

Excellent! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #38

I was hoping to see this one, my favorite! fierywoman Nov 2017 #83

A mobster, a racist, and a narcissist walk into a bar C_U_L8R Nov 2017 #36

Three blind mice walk into a bar... edbermac Nov 2017 #39

an orange asshole walks into a bar Skittles Nov 2017 #40

NYET! nt Leghorn21 Nov 2017 #45

A drunk stumbles into a bar oswaldactedalone Nov 2017 #41

A giraffe walks in to a bar and says "the highballs are on me!!" Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2017 #42

A dyslexic walks into a bra. Thor_MN Nov 2017 #44

Ok...that was good😅 BoneyardDem Nov 2017 #88

A Magician walks into a bar... A HERETIC I AM Nov 2017 #46

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey CelticCrow Nov 2017 #47

Good one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #49

That's awful. Thanks. mahatmakanejeeves Nov 2017 #60

I'm modestly savvy when it comes to jokes, but I did not see that one coming Brother Buzz Nov 2017 #62

Nice...and welcome to DU Lochloosa Nov 2017 #64

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar..... Paladin Nov 2017 #50

Ego and Superego walk into a bar, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #52

A lawyer walks into a bar... Kablooie Nov 2017 #53

A guy walks into a bar with... Guilded Lilly Nov 2017 #54

A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender says, "Where'd you get that?". Arkansas Granny Nov 2017 #57

An American, an Englishman and an Australian walk in to a bar. tecelote Nov 2017 #63

Didja hear the one about the German soldier walkin through the woods... yagotme Nov 2017 #65

LOL red dog 1 Nov 2017 #66

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. yagotme Nov 2017 #69

A grasshopper walks into a bar TeamPooka Nov 2017 #70

I heard that joke before, but the grasshopper had a different name red dog 1 Nov 2017 #71

There are many variations TeamPooka Nov 2017 #72

A Baptist, an Imam and an atheist walk into a bar and have a great time LanternWaste Nov 2017 #74

A con man, a Nazi, and a womanizer walk into a bar crazycatlady Nov 2017 #75

Redneck walks into a bar.. Permanut Nov 2017 #76

Roy Moore walks into a bar mercuryblues Nov 2017 #78

3 Brewers walk into a bar zipplewrath Nov 2017 #79

2 Corinthians walk into a bar, the moron quoting his favorite verse Motley13 Nov 2017 #80

An amoeba walks into a bar lapfog_1 Nov 2017 #81

so... Binkie The Clown Nov 2017 #85