Women Harbor No Secret Desire To See Genitals [View all]
http://www.theonion.com/article/nations-women-clarify-they-harbor-no-secret-desire-57186
NEWS IN BRIEF (no pun intended) - 10.12.17 Vol 53 Issue 40
Nations Women Clarify They Harbor No Secret Desire To See Colleagues, Acquaintances, Strangers Genitals
If There Were Any Lingering Doubts, Rest Assured We Do Not Need Them Shown To Us
WASHINGTONExplaining that anyone with any lingering doubts could rest assured that the answer was an unequivocal no, women across the nation on Thursday clarified that they harbor no secret desire to see any of their colleagues, acquaintances, or complete strangers genitals. We would like to state this as unambiguously as possible to anyone who might still be confused on this matter: We have never and will never want you to show us your sexual organs, read a joint statement by the nations 125 million women, which went on to emphasize that coworkers, friends, friends of friends, and random people on the street or public transportation were in no way authorized to display their private parts to women under any conditions and for all eternity. We categorically decline to view unsolicited photos and videos of genitalia, and we most definitely do not wish to be exposed to them in person. Please do not misinterpret our not asking to see your genitals as a sign of a deep but unexpressed yearning to do so. In fact, just to reiterate, were actually really, really against the idea. The statement concluded by saying that anyone unsure about womens feelings in the future could refer back to it as many times as needed, as it should be considered the final word on the subject.