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Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:18 AM

Women Harbor No Secret Desire To See Genitals

http://www.theonion.com/article/nations-women-clarify-they-harbor-no-secret-desire-57186

NEWS IN BRIEF (no pun intended) - 10.12.17 Vol 53 Issue 40
Nation’s Women Clarify They Harbor No Secret Desire To See Colleagues’, Acquaintances’, Strangers’ Genitals
‘If There Were Any Lingering Doubts, Rest Assured We Do Not Need Them Shown To Us’


WASHINGTON—Explaining that anyone with any lingering doubts could rest assured that the answer was an unequivocal “no,” women across the nation on Thursday clarified that they harbor no secret desire to see any of their colleagues’, acquaintances’, or complete strangers’ genitals. “We would like to state this as unambiguously as possible to anyone who might still be confused on this matter: We have never and will never want you to show us your sexual organs,” read a joint statement by the nation’s 125 million women, which went on to emphasize that coworkers, friends, friends of friends, and random people on the street or public transportation were in no way authorized to display their private parts to women under any conditions and for all eternity. “We categorically decline to view unsolicited photos and videos of genitalia, and we most definitely do not wish to be exposed to them in person. Please do not misinterpret our not asking to see your genitals as a sign of a deep but unexpressed yearning to do so. In fact, just to reiterate, we’re actually really, really against the idea.” The statement concluded by saying that anyone unsure about women’s feelings in the future could refer back to it as many times as needed, as it should be considered the final word on the subject.

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Arrow 19 replies Author Time Post
Reply Women Harbor No Secret Desire To See Genitals (Original post)
L. Coyote Friday OP
MFM008 Friday #1
L. Coyote Friday #2
tblue37 Friday #4
MFM008 Friday #11
Skittles Friday #3
BigmanPigman Friday #5
Willie Pep Friday #6
whathehell Friday #7
whathehell Friday #8
Heartstrings Friday #12
Silent3 Friday #13
Skittles Saturday #15
milestogo Saturday #17
Kaleva Saturday #19
moriah Saturday #18
Beacool Saturday #16
PoindexterOglethorpe Friday #9
Wounded Bear Friday #14
betsuni Friday #10

Response to L. Coyote (Original post)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:22 AM

1. Samantha Bee

covered this one............ look for it.

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Response to MFM008 (Reply #1)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:34 AM

2. World renowned expert on not sexually harassing her employees .....

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Response to L. Coyote (Reply #2)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:42 AM

4. Very funny. nt

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Response to L. Coyote (Reply #2)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 02:41 AM

11. thanks for posting

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Response to L. Coyote (Original post)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:42 AM

3. and there is NO ENVY either

as one female comic put it, why would us gals be jealous of something that looks like dead chicken's neck and can be out-performed by a couple of AA batteries?

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Response to Skittles (Reply #3)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:49 AM

5. That gave me a much needed smile today. Thanks!

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Response to Skittles (Reply #3)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:58 AM

6. I think Elaine from Seinfeld once called the male body "simian" or "ape-like" or something.

It was when Jerry's girlfriend was always walking around naked and when Jerry did the same she was shocked and disgusted. There is another Elaine quote where she says "how do you guys walk around with stuff?" referencing male genitalia.

As a guy I always that was funny. There is even a scene where you see that Jerry's girlfriend can't look at him anymore because she pictures him naked and scratching himself like a monkey!

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Response to Skittles (Reply #3)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 02:00 AM

7. LOL

She's bad.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #3)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 02:03 AM

8. Oh, I know..

"turkey neck and turkey gizzards" is how author Sylvia Plath put it.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #3)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 08:50 PM

12. Yes, definitely this.....

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Response to Skittles (Reply #3)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 08:57 PM

13. Hiking

That's one good reason for penis envy. It's a whole lot easier to take a whiz in the woods with a penis.

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Response to Silent3 (Reply #13)

Sat Oct 14, 2017, 01:41 AM

15. sorry, no go

not worth carrying that junk around

the only thing women would ENVY about it is the ability to GET PAID MORE MONEY

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Response to Silent3 (Reply #13)

Sat Oct 14, 2017, 02:08 AM

17. You can buy a purple "penis" on Amazon to whiz outside:

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Response to milestogo (Reply #17)

Sat Oct 14, 2017, 02:49 AM

19. It's also a good beer bong.

I can see situations where the device could serve both purposes at a party at some secluded campsite.

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Response to Silent3 (Reply #13)

Sat Oct 14, 2017, 02:13 AM

18. They have female-to-male converters for woods peeing.

We again are pretty set thanks to technology.

This isn't meant to give offense to people who, with consent, please themselves and their partner mutually without tech assistance, FYI.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #3)

Sat Oct 14, 2017, 02:07 AM

16. Well said!!!

LOL!!!

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Response to L. Coyote (Original post)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 02:08 AM

9. I remember the first time I came across the notion of

"penis envy". I thought it was a truly stupid idea. Men might possibly have penis envy, but trust me, women do NOT associate male privilege with their penises.

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Response to PoindexterOglethorpe (Reply #9)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 09:01 PM

14. It's an old Freudian concept...

and Freud, of course, operated in a very Victorian Era environment in Vienna, Austria of the late 1800's.

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Response to L. Coyote (Original post)

Fri Oct 13, 2017, 02:15 AM

10. I don't understand why anyone wants to look at any genitals at all. It's plumbing equipment.

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