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Showing Original Post only (View all)Today is a GREAT anniversary for my wife and I! [View all]
Today, January 14, 2012 is 22 years that I've been in recovery from the disease of alcoholism.
Today, January 14, 2012 is 14 years since my wonderful and beautiful wife last smoked a cigarette. She timed it deliberately to coincide with the anniversary of my sobriety.
When we were married on August 15, 1998, we were both alcohol and tobacco free. My wife has the occasional beer, wine or mixed drink but that's ok. She isn't an alcoholic. I am. I've always considered it my responsibility to not drink, not others' responsibility to refrain in front of me.
My joke to others is that I stopped because I got tired of trying to take my pants off over my head. The reality is that I had friends who would occasionally tell me that my drinking was a severe problem. I would tell them to perform anatomically impossible acts of procreation on themselves. My hit bottom was that one night, while passed out on my living room floor, I woke up momentarily to the sight of a rat about a foot away from my nose munching on a Burger King wrapper that I'd just dropped at my ass.
My house was a total mess. My life was a total mess. Professionally I was OK, because I was what I refer to as a Daryl Porter alcoholic. Porter was a very good catcher for the Kansas City Royals and the Saint Louis Cardinals who was an alcoholic . His teammates supposedly had NO IDEA he was an addict. I worked with Drug and Alcohol counselors who had NO IDEA that I was a drunk.
The scary thing was that I had NO IDEA that the life I was leading was ANY DIFFERENT than anyone else's. A rat chewing on a Burger King wrapper a foot away from your nose can change you perspective REALLY FAST.
Sometimes, but not very often, I think that a beer would be nice. I won't gamble my sobriety and recovery on it though. I believe that my wife would forgive ONE setback. She has confirmed that much. My goal is to not put that to the test. One secret to an active addiction (at least mine) is that it leads to a lot of other negative behaviors. In my case the primary consequences were massive overeating and very excessive pornography.
I met the woman who became my wife when I was sober for 7+ years. At one time the primary thing keeping me from picking up again was my fear (not fear, TERROR) of going back to that life style again. Now my primary reason for not picking up again is the woman who loves me so much that she , unbeknownst to me, decided to stop smoking on my recovery's anniversary. My primary reason for not picking up again is a young man who will be 12 in March who looks up to me as an example of what a man should be. A few beers or shots would NEVER make the loss of my wonderful family even remotely worth it.
Thank you for letting me share. Thank you for reading. Hosts, if this is in the wrong forum, please feel free to move. I won't be upset or angry. I'm simply grateful for the opportunity to share in a forum of like minded people.
PEACE!