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Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:22 PM

Today is a GREAT anniversary for my wife and I!

Today, January 14, 2012 is 22 years that I've been in recovery from the disease of alcoholism.

Today, January 14, 2012 is 14 years since my wonderful and beautiful wife last smoked a cigarette. She timed it deliberately to coincide with the anniversary of my sobriety.

When we were married on August 15, 1998, we were both alcohol and tobacco free. My wife has the occasional beer, wine or mixed drink but that's ok. She isn't an alcoholic. I am. I've always considered it my responsibility to not drink, not others' responsibility to refrain in front of me.

My joke to others is that I stopped because I got tired of trying to take my pants off over my head. The reality is that I had friends who would occasionally tell me that my drinking was a severe problem. I would tell them to perform anatomically impossible acts of procreation on themselves. My hit bottom was that one night, while passed out on my living room floor, I woke up momentarily to the sight of a rat about a foot away from my nose munching on a Burger King wrapper that I'd just dropped at my ass.

My house was a total mess. My life was a total mess. Professionally I was OK, because I was what I refer to as a Daryl Porter alcoholic. Porter was a very good catcher for the Kansas City Royals and the Saint Louis Cardinals who was an alcoholic . His teammates supposedly had NO IDEA he was an addict. I worked with Drug and Alcohol counselors who had NO IDEA that I was a drunk.

The scary thing was that I had NO IDEA that the life I was leading was ANY DIFFERENT than anyone else's. A rat chewing on a Burger King wrapper a foot away from your nose can change you perspective REALLY FAST.

Sometimes, but not very often, I think that a beer would be nice. I won't gamble my sobriety and recovery on it though. I believe that my wife would forgive ONE setback. She has confirmed that much. My goal is to not put that to the test. One secret to an active addiction (at least mine) is that it leads to a lot of other negative behaviors. In my case the primary consequences were massive overeating and very excessive pornography.

I met the woman who became my wife when I was sober for 7+ years. At one time the primary thing keeping me from picking up again was my fear (not fear, TERROR) of going back to that life style again. Now my primary reason for not picking up again is the woman who loves me so much that she , unbeknownst to me, decided to stop smoking on my recovery's anniversary. My primary reason for not picking up again is a young man who will be 12 in March who looks up to me as an example of what a man should be. A few beers or shots would NEVER make the loss of my wonderful family even remotely worth it.

Thank you for letting me share. Thank you for reading. Hosts, if this is in the wrong forum, please feel free to move. I won't be upset or angry. I'm simply grateful for the opportunity to share in a forum of like minded people.

PEACE!

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Arrow 35 replies Author Time Post
Reply Today is a GREAT anniversary for my wife and I! (Original post)
MarianJack Jan 2012 OP
Wait Wut Jan 2012 #1
MarianJack Jan 2012 #3
hedgehog Jan 2012 #2
MarianJack Jan 2012 #4
CaliforniaPeggy Jan 2012 #5
MarianJack Jan 2012 #7
seabeyond Jan 2012 #6
MarianJack Jan 2012 #8
seabeyond Jan 2012 #10
LibDemAlways Jan 2012 #9
MarianJack Jan 2012 #12
Mz Pip Jan 2012 #11
MarianJack Jan 2012 #13
intheozone Jan 2012 #14
MarianJack Jan 2012 #15
NNN0LHI Jan 2012 #16
MarianJack Jan 2012 #27
madmom Jan 2012 #17
MarianJack Jan 2012 #24
niyad Jan 2012 #18
MarianJack Jan 2012 #29
Yavapai Jan 2012 #19
MarianJack Jan 2012 #25
lunatica Jan 2012 #20
MarianJack Jan 2012 #22
jwirr Jan 2012 #21
MarianJack Jan 2012 #23
Spazito Jan 2012 #26
MarianJack Jan 2012 #30
livetohike Jan 2012 #28
MarianJack Jan 2012 #31
Dragonbreathp9d Jan 2012 #32
MarianJack Jan 2012 #33
roguevalley Jan 2012 #34
MarianJack Jan 2012 #35

Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:24 PM

1. Happy Anniversary to you and your wife!

What a powerful and inspirational story.

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Response to Wait Wut (Reply #1)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:27 PM

3. Thank you for reading.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:26 PM

2. Keep at it! And congratulations!

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Response to hedgehog (Reply #2)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:28 PM

4. Thank you.

One day at a time.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:29 PM

5. My dear MarianJack!

Congratulations on your sobriety! And on your wonderful wife's decision to stop smoking on this day, just to honor you...

And for setting the amazing example for your son...it doesn't get any better than that.

Thank you for sharing this amazing story!

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #5)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:30 PM

7. You're Welcome...

...my dear CaliforniaPeggy!

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:29 PM

6. i want to thank you so much for this post. it is so important

 

to allow people to see, understand, experience another thru the words he types.

and

happy anniversary to you both

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #6)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:31 PM

8. Thank you seabeyond!

All stories are different.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Reply #8)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:36 PM

10. exactly. yes, they are.

 

and backatcha.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:34 PM

9. I have seen alcoholism up close and it's devastating. Thank you for

sharing your story. It gives me hope.

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Response to LibDemAlways (Reply #9)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:39 PM

12. Thank you for your hope.

I always like to tell those who want to go into recovery or are newly recovering that they can get here from there.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:36 PM

11. Happy anniversary

It's never easy, but it is worth it in the long run to live a life free of debiliating addictions. So congratulations on living the good life! You've proved that it is worth the effort!

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Response to Mz Pip (Reply #11)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:41 PM

13. I'm thankful for those 22 years.

If I hadn't sobered up I think that I'd have been dead for 12 to 15 of those years.

This is better.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:42 PM

14. Congrats to you, best wishes for continued sucess! nt

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Response to intheozone (Reply #14)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:45 PM

15. Thank you.

One day at a time.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:49 PM

16. Really nice thread MJ

Can tell its from the heart with no judgemental bullshit. You my friend, are a class act.

I wish you and your wonderful wife and family many more decades of happiness together.

Take care and see you later.



Don

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Response to NNN0LHI (Reply #16)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:49 PM

27. Thank you Don.

Your respone has moved both Maria and I very Much.

PEACE!

Jack

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 12:54 PM

17. Happy anniversary and good luck to you both!

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Response to madmom (Reply #17)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:44 PM

24. Thank you madmom

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 01:52 PM

18. a very happy anniversary to you and your lovely wife.

having been a counsellor for many years, I know how difficult this can be--but you and your lady are doing it with a great deal of class and grace. kudos to you both.

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Response to niyad (Reply #18)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:51 PM

29. Class and Grace.

If I do have those, I need to thank my mom and, especially, my wife.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 01:53 PM

19. Good luck to you!!!

 

An alcoholic friend of mine's joke was "he gave up drinking because he developed an allergy to alcohol, because every time he drank, he broke out in handcuffs."

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Response to Yavapai (Reply #19)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:45 PM

25. Broke out in handcuffs!

Great line!

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 01:57 PM

20. Happy anniversary!

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Response to lunatica (Reply #20)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:42 PM

22. Thank you, lunatica.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 03:05 PM

21. Congradulations. That is not as easy as it sounds. You have a lot to be proud of.

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Response to jwirr (Reply #21)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:43 PM

23. Thanks jwirr

My wife and son give me plenty to be proud of!

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:49 PM

26. A very Happy Anniversary to you and your wife!

From reading your OP, you and your family have much to celebrate, much of which to be proud.

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Response to Spazito (Reply #26)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:55 PM

30. We do have much to celebrate.

One of thw things I'm proud of all 3 of us for is the fact that we've gone through some BS that might tear many families apart. We have always come through realizing that we are a family that loves and relies on each other.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:49 PM

28. Happy Anniversary! Congratulations on all your achievements

and may you enjoy many, many more years together .

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Response to livetohike (Reply #28)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 06:58 PM

31. We certainly do hope for many more years together.

While I accept the congratulations and am thankful for them, I don't really consider it an achievement for myself as much as an act of self preservation.

My first 3 years sober were harder than my last 10 drunk, mostly because I didn't jump into a bottle in hard times.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 08:11 PM

32. Wonderful

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Response to Dragonbreathp9d (Reply #32)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 10:01 PM

33. Thank You, Dragonbreath9d.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Sat Jan 14, 2012, 11:31 PM

34. sometimes, at long last things go right. I am so very happy for you and yours. Mazel Tov!

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Response to roguevalley (Reply #34)

Sun Jan 15, 2012, 05:32 AM

35. Thank You, rougevalley.

It's been a long time since I've "heard" the term Mazel Toz. Thanx!

PEACE!

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