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jmowreader

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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 41,739

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Trump's biggest problem right now

He has fired SO MANY government employees who have dirt on him, and they’re willing to talk.

Today's Trump joke

It was Meat Identification Day in Mrs. Smith’s third-grade class.

She handed out the first sample. “Everyone try this and tell me what you think it is.”
Johnny stood up. “Mrs. Smith, that tastes like beef.” Beef it was.

Then comes the second sample.
Mary said, “I think that’s turkey, Mrs. Smith.” It was turkey.

Then the third sample was presented. No one knew what it was.
Mrs. Smith said, “It’s something that your mommy sometimes calls your daddy.”

Tiffany Trump started screaming, “Spit it out. It’s asshole.”

Just so you know...

The constitutional pardon power is limited, in that a president cannot pardon someone who’s been impeached.

If Trump is ordered to resign and actually resigns, I suspect Pence will be informed by the GOP Congress that pardoning Trump will cause them to immediately impeach Pence.

In short, Trump fucked up in ways he can’t bullshit his way out of.

If the whistleblower report is correct, I don't want impeachment

I want Trump, Pence, the whole Cabinet, and all the judges Trump appointed - especially Gorsuch and Kavanaugh - to resign on the same day, and in this order:

All lower-court judges at the same time
Gorsuch and Kavanaugh
All appointees below the rank of Cabinet Secretary
All Cabinet Secretaries
Mitch McConnell
Pence
Trump

All this over the span of five minutes.

This prevents any possibility of pardons being issued. We will then install Speaker Pelosi as president with Hillary Clinton as VP, and bring back Obama’s Cabinet.

At that point we have real investigations and prosecutions.

Floyd eats his peas with honey

He's done it all his life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on his knife.

Well, it's official. Trump supporters don't care about America.

I saw a bumper sticker today, "Trump: Make Liberals Cry Again."

So, that clinches it: "We don't care what damage Trump does to America, just as long as we can troll liberals while he's doing it."

Today's "you do realize"

You do realize if Vice President Biden would have gone to Ireland for meetings in Dublin and stayed at the "Obama International Golf Links" on the other side of the island, the impeachment hearings for both men would have already started.

I know what the new GOP emblem should be

It's got to be a wooden bridge - the underside of which is the Republican's natural habitat.

Fair is fair: What street in NYC would you name after Trump?

The story so far: Thousands of people have signed a petition asking for one block of New York City's Fifth Avenue to be renamed "President Barack H. Obama Avenue." The block happens to be the one Trump Tower is sitting on.

We have to be fair. If President Obama, who - last I checked - is not a New Yorker gets a New York street named after him, then it's only fair that the New York born and bred "president" Trump gets one too.

My recommendation is Hazen St. from 19th Avenue north to Hillside Avenue...which is the road that leads to and runs through the New York City jail.

If you have any of Lakefront Brewery's My Turn Junk beer, drink it right now

https://www.wisn.com/article/lakefront-brewery-beer-recall-exploding-bottles/21943616

Lakefront Brewery recalled their My Turn Junk beer, which is a "kettle sour with cherries and sakura" according to the label, because it's made with fresh cherries and the cherries' skins are coated with naturally-occurring wild yeast. This could cause overpressure in the bottle and initiate an explosion that will potentially injure innocent and non-innocent bystanders.

The brewery says the beer is safe to drink if it doesn't explode and take out the drinker in a shower of shrapnel first.

And so, because it is safe to drink but not safe to store...drink that shit up, chieftain.

Thus ends today's safety lecture.
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