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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 39,408

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Ryan Bundy's campaign website

As we know, Ryan Bundy is running for governor of Nevada. Although there's almost no possibility he'll actually win, here's his campaign website.


His platform:

1. Abolish all business and professional licensing. I assume this also means getting rid of medical licensing.
2. Legalize all drugs.
3. "Drain the swamp."
4. Have private law firms prosecute crimes, not just defend them.
5. Death sentence for rape.
6. Use the Nevada National Guard to remove the federal government from Nevada.
7. Get rid of public education.
8. Remove chlorine from the water supply.
9. Create a gold-backed cryptocurrency.
10. Eye-for-an-eye justice.
11. Eliminate driver's licenses.

The real reason the GOP loves Kavanaugh

It's because of his role in the Starr Chamber attacks on Bill Clinton.

Forget all the terrible things that, to be very honest, Kavanaugh will do to the people of this country if he ever gets the chance. This is just one more finger in Hillary Clinton's eye.

Did you know 9/11 was 70 years ago?

According to Hannity, it is:


I figured out how to do the Trump movie

Follow along to the end for maximum effect.

The part of Donald Trump will be played by John Daly. All he'll have to do is get on and off a 747 wrapped to look like Air Force One, and play golf. All of Trump's dialogue will come in the form of his real tweets, which appear at the bottom of the screen at appropriate times.

The movie will focus on Mueller's team as they work to lock Trump and his minions up.

Public opinion poll time

Trump's tax cuts will crater the economy next year. That's what they're designed to do: crash the economy in front of a new Democratic congressional majority, so Trump can blame it on us.

How long do you think it'll be after Trump does this that the inevitable "it's all Obama's fault" tweetstorm hits the wire?

Man With 18 Months to Live Gets 9 Years in Fraud Case


SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) A man convicted of conspiracy to commit fraud was sentenced to nine years in federal prison after testimony indicated he has only 18 months to live.


Thompson, along with Derrick J. Fincher of Spokane Valley and John P. Nixon of Philadelphia were charged with defrauding the organizers of a Coeur d'Alene (ID) golf tournament, film studio investors in Montana, and a developer in North Carolina of more than $2 million.

I think Trump wrote the damn NYT op-ed himself

Here's the deal:

Trump believes he has A LOT more support from the American people than he really has. He also despises the three Big East Coast Liberal Papers, the Washington Post, New York Times and Boston Globe.

His idea was simple: he'd make up an op-ed full of outrageous lies and convince the New York Times to publish it anonymously. People would read it, decide the NYT had finally crossed the line, and cancel their subscriptions en masse. The drop in circulation would also cause a drop in ad revenues, which would kill off the NYT once and for all.

This was the plan.
First, Trump wrote this outrageous article.
Next, he had it rewritten by some of his staffers so it didn't sound like Trump wrote it.
And finally, he submitted the piece under a pseudonym. He's famous for this, as John Barron will attest.

It didn't go so well, in no small part because the American people don't like Donald Trump. People actually believed what was written in the article - in no small part because that shit's really happening. And now that it's backfired so spectacularly, he's running through his staff directory trying to figure out someone to lay the blame on.

One of Bach's finer works

Well...PDQ Bach.

What is it about Minneapolis and criminal sexual activity?

First there was Larry "Wide Stance" Craig, who got busted for cruising the Minneapolis airport men's room.


And now, we have this:


Richard Liu (in Chinese, Liu Qiangdong) founded and runs jd.com, which is a huge e-commerce site in China. On Friday, the Minneapolis police arrested him for unstated "criminal sexual conduct" and released him Saturday afternoon.

When the time comes, will you attend Trump's funeral?

Among the acceptable answers are:

Hell no.
Are you fucking kidding me?
No, I'll be on the phone coordinating taco trucks to encircle the church the service will be in.
Only if I have nothing better to do, like getting my toenails painted.
To emcee the two-hour disco swing party outside the White House that's scheduled at the same time as the funeral.
Yes, and I'll bring medical instruments to make sure he's dead.
Yes, I'll be on the rifle squad that fires into the casket with live ammunition, because you can never be too sure about these things
Yes, to perform an act that will garner me both worldwide fame and a criminal record for indecent exposure.
Why certainly, and I'll bring a Komatsu D355A bulldozer, just like the one Marvin Heemeyer used to level the town of Granby, CO, to eradicate any Nazi shrines that may suddenly pop up.
My friends and I will, and every time a speaker mentions Trump's great wealth or how he "made America great again," we'll take a shot of Jack Daniel's. (We'll be carrying pint bottles diluted 1:3 with water; we don't want it to be our funeral too.)
I will attend as a gesture of respect to our fallen hero, but after the service I plan to throw myself off the Theodore Roosevelt Bridge.
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