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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 37,048

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You're kidding me, right? Department: Jared Fogle now sovereign citizen


Jared Fogle, formerly beloved Subway spokesman who has become a convicted child molester and child-porn aficionado, recently appealed his sentence. His grounds: because he is now a sovereign citizen, the federal court that sent him up the river for 15 years didn't have jurisdiction over him.

Happily, it didn't work.

US District Court Judge Tanya Walton Pratt wrote while throwing out his appeal, "if Fogle is now claiming to be 'sovereign,' the Seventh Circuit has rejected theories of individual sovereignty, immunity from prosecution, and their ilk."

I just emailed Rachel...

...asking if she could have Hillary on to talk about her lifelong love of water.

Its time

Whenever someone commits mass murder with a gun, we hear the same thing: itís too soon to discuss gun control.

After...what is this, the twentieth time since Stochastic Terrorist in Chief Donald Trump moved into the White House?

Itís time to talk about gun control. Since the GOP has no intention of fixing this problem, itís up to us.

I have a little clearer information on Devin Kelley's discharge

He wasn't dishonorably discharged. (You pretty much have to kill or rape someone to get that - a special court-martial is easier to convene and just as disastrous to the rest of your life.)


Kelley was discharged from the Air Force in 2014, according to Defense Department records. Kelley was court-martialed in November 2012 for assaulting his wife and their child. A judge sentenced him with a bad-conduct discharge, 12 months confinement, and two reductions in rank to basic airman, according to an appeals court decision in 2013 that affirmed the decision against Kelley.

This guy must have been a long-term dirtball; a two-grade reduction to Basic Airman (E-1) means he walked into his court-martial as an Airman First Class (E-3), and with four years' time in service he should have had at least one more stripe.

Women adrift at sea for five months had beacon but didn't turn it on


HONOLULU (AP) - The U.S. Coast Guard says the two Hawaii women who were lost at sea for five months had an emergency beacon known as an EPIRB aboard their sailboat that was never activated.

U.S. Coast Guard spokesman Lt. Scott Carr told The Associated Press on Monday that their review of the incident and subsequent interviews with the survivors revealed that they had the Emergency Position Indicating Radio Beacon (EPIRB) aboard but never turned it on.

Folks, don't get too excited too soon

I know: indictments are coming down tomorrow, people (if such they be) in the Trump White House are going to prison, there are going to be convictions and impeachments...

We've been here before. In 2005, AUSA Patrick Fitzgerald was investigating the Bush White House over the Valerie Plame scandal, and got one scalp - relatively low-level functionary Lewis "Scooter" Libby. He didn't get Cheney, he didn't get Bush, and there was no joy in Mudville that night.

We're all going to be very happy if they frog-march Trump and his family tomorrow morning. But don't get frustrated if all they get is Manafort, Bannon, or one of the other low-level consiglieres surrounding General Secretary Trump. We still have time, and Trump's is running short.

A poem for General Secretary Trump


By: Jarvis Masters
June 16, 2005

Take ten peeled oranges,
Jarvis Masters, it is the judgment and sentence of this court,
one 8 oz. bowl of fruit cocktail,
that the charged information was true,
squeeze the fruit into a small plastic bag,
and the jury having previously, on said date,
and put the juice along with the mash inside,
found that the penalty shall be death,
add 16 oz. of water and seal the bag tightly.
and this Court having, on August 20, 1991,
Place the bag into your sink,
denied your motion for a new trial,
and heat it with hot running water for 15 minutes.
it is the order of this Court that you suffer death,
wrap towels around the bag to keep it warm for fermentation.
said penalty to be inflicted within the walls of San Quentin,
Stash the bag in your cell undisturbed for 48 hours.
at which place you shall be put to death,
When the time has elapsed,
in the manner prescribed by law,
add 40 to 60 cubes of white sugar,
the date later to be fixed by the Court in warrant of execution.
six teaspoons of ketchup,
You are remanded to the custody of the warden of San Quentin,
then heat again for 30 minutes,
to be held by him pending final
secure the bag as done before,
determination of your appeal.
then stash the bag undisturbed again for 72 hours.
It is so ordered.
Reheat daily for 15 minutes.
In witness whereof,
After 72 hours,
I have hereon set my hand as Judge of this Superior Court,
with a spoon, skim off the mash,
and I have caused the seal of this Court to be affixed thereto.
pour the remaining portion into two 18 oz. cups.
May God have mercy on your soul.

If the GOP really wants to write a "working class tax cut," this is what it looks like

Step 1: Define "working class." Let's throw out a number and say "working class" is everyone making $100,000 or less in gross income. You guys are going to argue that working class might be...oh, $35,000 or $40,000. I chose that number because it's nice and round, and round is good.

Step 2: Everyone in the Working Class can use both the Standard Deduction and Schedule A deductions.

Step 3: Everyone whose gross income is less than $50,000 can deduct all their medical expenses. The current rule requires you to spend 10 percent of your income on medical expenses and only allows you to deduct the ones past that. My plan allows you to deduct your medical expenses even if all you spent was $2.99 for a box of band-aids.

Step 3a: In states that have medicinal marijuana, anyone with a weed card can deduct the cost of a "reasonably medically necessary" quantity of marijuana. Unless you have a prescription stating a greater amount of cannabis is reasonably medically necessary, one ounce of leaf cannabis or 60 prerolled joints will be the statutorily deductible allowance. (Yes, this will require rescheduling weed to Federal Schedule V, aka "the cough syrup schedule."

Step 3b: A one-time medical necessity moving credit will be granted to anyone living in a no-MMJ state who has a condition cannabis is useful medicine for to move from their current, backwards state to the closest state that allows medicinal marijuana.

Step 4: For purposes of this tax cut, the value of granted, but not yet exercised, stock options will be added into your gross income. Adjusting your income so you earn less than $50,000 in cash and the rest of the $25 million in options will not allow you to take all the working class deductions.

Step 5: If you make more than $100,001, your taxes stay the same as they were before.

Step 6: No other cuts, hacks, or other adjustments to the tax code are needed.

For the love of humanity, do not watch Myeshia Johnson's GMA interview on YouTube

Because, once again, General Secretary Trump's fanboys prove Hillary Clinton's "basket of deplorables" description of themselves to be completely accurate.

A bad choice of words should be the beginning of the end


The Associated Press is reporting today that Rex Tillerson, the current pivot man in the circle jerk that is the Trump White House, is trying to set up an alliance between Saudi Arabia and Iraq to stand against Iran. It's the wording the AP is using that worries me:

U.S. officials see a new axis that unites Riyadh and Baghdad as central to countering Iran's growing influence from the Persian Gulf to the Mediterranean Sea, particularly as the Iraqi government struggles to rebuild recently liberated Islamic State strongholds and confronts a newly assertive Kurdish independence movement.

Read that again: a "new axis." I realize this administration's theme song is Sam Cooke's "What a Wonderful World" (especially the "I don't care about history" which, considering they're trying to turn people who have hated each other for ten thousand years into friends) line, but come on: didn't anyone tell these morons that "The Axis" is what the people we were shooting at in World War II called their alliance?

Right about now, the people in Israel should be shitting kittens over this one.
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