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(11,867 posts)
Sat May 22, 2021, 10:36 AM May 2021

Asking for FMLA this coming week. Scared to death

Cross posted in GD.

Asking for FMLA this coming week. Scared to death

Many of you kind people have been following my mental-health journey to get SSDI and the stress that my job is causing me. I thank you for your kind words and support that I have received in this community.

Including this bizarre aggressive incident:


I have gone out on FMLA twice in the last 8.5 years; this will be number 3. I feel so weak sometimes. However, my anxiety is off the charts, and I also have depression. I cannot take is anymore and maintain my physical health as well as my mental health. I keep hoping Biden will reverse what the orange asshole has done to average people who need it getting SSDI- making it more difficult than ever, and it is pretty difficult now. This is the sixth day in a row I will be working

I do know Biden overturned the constant reviews the disabled were to be subjected to go through with the end game of throwing them off SSDI. I hope more is happening behind the scenes.

I am worried that there will be an absolute shit show when I ask for FMLA. I hope to get my short-term disability for the 12 weeks, and then go on long-term disability( paid for by my employer) until I, hopefully, get SSDI. We are chronically short-staffed. This will cause a hardship on my, some nice and normal, co-workers. My boss can be very abrupt and volatile. I would consider getting an attorney if there is some issue with me , either, taking FMLA or them trying to fire me. I have saved up some money for the time I will be out. Or, because they have to, there will be angry calm. Due to being worn out for years dealing with this, I have a hard time bearing anything, and I used to be quite confident and resilient in the past. That is now not the case.

So- I am SO FRIGHTENED of asking for it again. Like, shaking thinking about it. I will be ruminating on this for the next few days. Part of me is like take a deep breath and do it. I anticipate arguments with me doing my annual evaluation. Also, doing the evaluation of my young man I supervise. I need zero contact with this job.

I have been reading the NOLO guide to getting SSDI, and I have an attorney ready to rep me when I get turned down, if I do, and am anticipating being turned down.

I took a doctor-prescribed anti-anxiety med, and am having shallow breathing in anticipation of, I think, this Tuesday coming up.

So tired of being afraid.

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Asking for FMLA this coming week. Scared to death (Original Post) XanaDUer2 May 2021 OP
Have you considered a GoFundMe? jmbar2 May 2021 #1
Thanks for your response XanaDUer2 May 2021 #5
Oh dear XanaDuer2, lark May 2021 #2
Thanks XanaDUer2 May 2021 #6
I was a Social Security Disability adjudicator for over 10 years Ziggysmom May 2021 #3
Thank you! XanaDUer2 May 2021 #4
This message was self-deleted by its author hamsterjill May 2021 #7
Thank you XanaDUer2 May 2021 #8


(5,713 posts)
1. Have you considered a GoFundMe?
Sat May 22, 2021, 10:51 AM
May 2021

If the only thing keeping you in torment is the need to earn a living until your benefits are approved, why not estimate the amount, do a GoFundme and quit? I'm sure a lot of folks here familiar with your situation would be willing to help.

I don't personally know how stuff like that works, or if it would jeopardize your potential benefits, but no one should have to live in the constant terror that you do. Good luck and let us know if there is anyway we can help.


(11,867 posts)
5. Thanks for your response
Sun May 23, 2021, 10:05 AM
May 2021

I never thought of that. I'm sure there are some lovely DUers that would help. That's how it rolls here


(23,593 posts)
2. Oh dear XanaDuer2,
Sat May 22, 2021, 10:59 AM
May 2021

I applaud your proactive approach to this issue, having a lawyer ready is smart and most often necessary from what I've read and the people I've talked to. I feel so sad hearing about your pain and hope you can get through the hard parts to where it gets better for you. Sounds like it will happen. Wishing you the ability to get through what must be done and to come out so much better on the other side.


(11,867 posts)
6. Thanks
Sun May 23, 2021, 10:06 AM
May 2021

it's been unreal. I keep trying to be normal, but it's so hard. I just want a peaceful life!


(3,480 posts)
3. I was a Social Security Disability adjudicator for over 10 years
Sat May 22, 2021, 11:04 AM
May 2021

As a former nurse who suffered a back injury, it started out being my perfect job. I got to use my medical training without heavy lifting or spending hours on my feet. I loved helping people, but after more than a decade I burnt out. As a senior examiner I was given child SSI review work for children mostly in the foster care system. I still cannot forget the stacks of medical records which contained the life stories of severe abuse and neglect. After I left my job, I took nearly a year off work to heal.

If I can help you with your SSDI claim in any way, please feel free to send me a DU Mail. I know how stressful the process can be and am praying you will be successful and stay strong.

Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

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