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XanaDUer2

(11,731 posts)
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:13 PM May 2021

My boss slapped my hand Tuesday

you, my DU family, have kindly read and commented on my posts here. Mainly, my toxic job, mental health, and future attempt to get SSDI ( please make it easier to get, Mr Biden. Disabled Americans are counting on you).


Anyway, I was helping her with some PC wires, she told me to watch a service desk, I started moving towards said desk, and she impatiently smacked my left hand. This has never happened in my 25 years of working at various places in my field.

Going up the chain of command or HR will not have a good outcome for me. I've decided to request FMLA third time, in 2.5 weeks. Let the chips fall where they may. I am applying for SSDI and have a lawyer for when I'm turned down.

For my sanity, I need to remove myself from this toxic situation.

61 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My boss slapped my hand Tuesday (Original Post) XanaDUer2 May 2021 OP
She's awful!!!!!! All the best in getting rid of her. Karadeniz May 2021 #1
I'm nervous about asking for FMLA again XanaDUer2 May 2021 #2
You showed remarkable restraint and good sense. I'm Afraid I would've punched her in the 👄 Walleye May 2021 #3
I was in shock XanaDUer2 May 2021 #4
I can certainly understand that Walleye May 2021 #5
Yikes. That's horrible. What does this mean? "watch a service desk" CurtEastPoint May 2021 #6
Hi, Curt XanaDUer2 May 2021 #10
Oh, OK. I get it. Sorry this happened. CurtEastPoint May 2021 #46
Best of luck. May I add a suggestion: Joinfortmill May 2021 #7
And write down who was present at the time. Nt raccoon May 2021 #16
Thanks. No one, but XanaDUer2 May 2021 #18
Charge her with assault, file a complaint and see where the chips fall... Humanist_Activist May 2021 #8
Seriously if she struck you in any way you should report it Lettuce Be May 2021 #43
Isn't that actually assault?? TNNurse May 2021 #9
File a Police Report ThatJustHappened May 2021 #49
I thought you meant it figuratively - Alice Kramden May 2021 #11
I would file assault charges against her Buckeyeblue May 2021 #12
I'm hoping to get SSDI XanaDUer2 May 2021 #14
Do write her up as you leave for FMLA Warpy May 2021 #13
poor morale, aggression, passive aggression XanaDUer2 May 2021 #15
That's why it's good to let them know why Warpy May 2021 #33
what was the immediate reaction from you and her? onethatcares May 2021 #17
I'm embarrassed to say, no XanaDUer2 May 2021 #21
I got nothing except to say onethatcares May 2021 #27
from someone with years of experience in this realm,( not a ssd ssi legal eagle), AllaN01Bear May 2021 #19
thanks XanaDUer2 May 2021 #20
sounds like you have a good team there . good luck. keep us posted please . AllaN01Bear May 2021 #44
I will thnx nt XanaDUer2 May 2021 #51
she would be minus a hand if she did that to me Skittles May 2021 #22
She's gonna freak out when I ask for time off nt XanaDUer2 May 2021 #24
You really need to speak to an attorney. Celerity May 2021 #26
well let her freak . Remain the calm one -do not react to her reactions luckone May 2021 #28
GOOD Skittles May 2021 #34
Yes, because you have asserted yourself stollen May 2021 #55
There's a spirit of ugly contagion going around, looks like. sprinkleeninow May 2021 #23
I've been hearing about improving morale there for years XanaDUer2 May 2021 #25
A neighbor brought something to my attention the other day. sprinkleeninow May 2021 #38
In the application process for SSDI... 2naSalit May 2021 #29
I worked for a woman owner who would poinr her index at me and then roll her hand ... marble falls May 2021 #30
That curled finger come here gesture, more than any other, yonder May 2021 #40
I took it for three months or so. It was enough for a lifetime. marble falls May 2021 #47
Does your state have a labor board of any kind? 2naSalit May 2021 #31
on the 25th I'm requesting fmla nt XanaDUer2 May 2021 #37
I'm interceding for you to come through this in victory! sprinkleeninow May 2021 #41
Thank you! Appreciate it nt XanaDUer2 May 2021 #52
I'm in a red state, so it's probably pointless XanaDUer2 May 2021 #50
WHAT??? BobTheSubgenius May 2021 #32
We're short staffed, so she'll be unhappy XanaDUer2 May 2021 #35
Good! She needs all the discomfort and unhappiness you can legally give to her. BobTheSubgenius May 2021 #59
Get out of there. as soon as you can. I resigned from a job due to toxic work environment and iluvtennis May 2021 #36
I have short term disability insurance XanaDUer2 May 2021 #39
Excellent plan. Just get out of that toxic environment ASAP - it isn't healthy. iluvtennis May 2021 #42
It is hard to apply but both my brother and sister got it first time dsc May 2021 #45
Thanks, dsc nt XanaDUer2 May 2021 #48
This message was self-deleted by its author hamsterjill May 2021 #53
I came to this job with high hopes XanaDUer2 May 2021 #57
Does your work have CCTV? Laffy Kat May 2021 #54
We have cameras. A coworker I told mentioned that nt XanaDUer2 May 2021 #56
Please file a police report. AwakeAtLast May 2021 #58
Her touching you in any way gldstwmn May 2021 #60
Thank you XanaDUer2 May 2021 #61

Walleye

(32,471 posts)
3. You showed remarkable restraint and good sense. I'm Afraid I would've punched her in the 👄
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:30 PM
May 2021

Good luck with your SSDI. A toxic work environment is absolute hell

CurtEastPoint

(18,872 posts)
6. Yikes. That's horrible. What does this mean? "watch a service desk"
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:44 PM
May 2021

Not that your moving to it deserves a slap.

XanaDUer2

(11,731 posts)
10. Hi, Curt
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:49 PM
May 2021

she meant move to a desk to help people. She was assigned there, but moved away to fix a PC. I thought she meant move to the desk in her place, but she meant answer the phone. Not sure why she cared.
EDIT: TYPO

Joinfortmill

(15,202 posts)
7. Best of luck. May I add a suggestion:
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:47 PM
May 2021

Write down what occurred, date it, and give it to your attorney. Later, once you are out of the situation, you may want to proceed with a grievance.

 

Humanist_Activist

(7,670 posts)
8. Charge her with assault, file a complaint and see where the chips fall...
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:48 PM
May 2021

chances are the company she works for will not put their neck out for an employee who assaults another.

 

ThatJustHappened

(78 posts)
49. File a Police Report
Sun May 9, 2021, 07:21 PM
May 2021

Get it on the record

Even if the police, HR, and whomever calls it an exaggeration

If you file a report then it is on the record and they cannot:

-- retaliate by firing, demoting, etc
-- refuse a FMLA
-- ignore the entire episode

You may be able to sue for damages.

They may see the light and change their ways.

They may offer you a buyout/severance package.


You must get the law on your side. Hiring an attorney on retainer is a good start. Filing a police report is even better. Ask your attorney about it. They will most likely back you 100% in filing a police report.

Also file an OSHA report. Get the Feds involved.

Alice Kramden

(2,236 posts)
11. I thought you meant it figuratively -
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:51 PM
May 2021

Shocking that it was literally a physical strike - that is beyond the beyond!!! No, absolutely - no one should be treated that way. How terrible!

Buckeyeblue

(5,553 posts)
12. I would file assault charges against her
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:52 PM
May 2021

And follow that up with a lawsuit. I'm not sure they could do much to you if there was a criminal investigation going on.

Warpy

(112,187 posts)
13. Do write her up as you leave for FMLA
Sun May 9, 2021, 05:52 PM
May 2021

That is not how adults treat each other and it's not even a good idea to treat kids that way, unless it's a dangerous item you need to get them away from quickly.

Just who the hell does she think she is?

onethatcares

(16,397 posts)
17. what was the immediate reaction from you and her?
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:00 PM
May 2021

was there any conversation related to what happened like, you saying, "Why did you do that?" "What was that all about?" ?

and what was her response?



onethatcares

(16,397 posts)
27. I got nothing except to say
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:24 PM
May 2021

50 years ago I suffered from the same and no one could hear me speak in social situations.

One of my bosses said he couldn't tell what I was saying without leaning forward, so.... on the drive home and on the drive to work
I began to holler "NO". With the windows closed I would yell, "NO". It took a little while but finally I could hear my own voice in meetings with others.

Try it.. It's free and it exercises your vocal chords. Go for it even if you don't have a car or vehicle. If you're doing it in your home and someone asks, just tell them you're practicing lines for a play. Cause that's all life is.

Good luck.

AllaN01Bear

(20,867 posts)
19. from someone with years of experience in this realm,( not a ssd ssi legal eagle),
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:03 PM
May 2021

but with lots of experience on the system, always appeal. even if they say not , you have the right to appeal. i tried some of the high priced attorneys and had to appeal every decision myself . they only take first and second attempts only. good thing i had a good local team on the ground and in the trenches fighting for my initial bought. remember , appeal.

XanaDUer2

(11,731 posts)
20. thanks
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:10 PM
May 2021

I do plan on appealing. My lawyer said apply online, then, when denied, they step in. He said I'm disabled and his firm will represent me. He also works with my psychiatrist, as in, they don't work in the same office or are colleagues, but the lawyer helped other patients of his

stollen

(435 posts)
55. Yes, because you have asserted yourself
Sun May 9, 2021, 09:29 PM
May 2021

Don't sell yourself short.

I would report her hitting you. Parlay it with why you need time off if you haven't already. She's a bully and needs to be stood up to.

sprinkleeninow

(20,388 posts)
38. A neighbor brought something to my attention the other day.
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:38 PM
May 2021

I was 'flag' shamed and 'lawn' shamed.

As a practicing 'Believer', I had to let it go in a spirit of humility.

Unfortunately, it came from someone who is a vet. Plus it's pretty apparent they are MAGA. So I chalked it up to that. You just never know. People become pitted one against another, contentious, thanks to the damage that was and still is given license to do.

2naSalit

(89,013 posts)
29. In the application process for SSDI...
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:24 PM
May 2021

From what I learned when I did it, you don't need an attorney until the second denial. After the first, that takes 90 days, you need to ask for a medical review. If you are denied after that, which takes another six months, is when you get an attorney.

Personally, I never had to deal with the second denial because I was granted disability after the six months of waiting. In fact, they called me on a Saturday to tell me so. I didn't need an attorney or go to court to fight for it which people tell me is unusual.

marble falls

(59,583 posts)
30. I worked for a woman owner who would poinr her index at me and then roll her hand ...
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:24 PM
May 2021

... and do the 'come here' thing. I quit after the last time, when I was tired, and I had to stop myself from biting that finger.

It's just not worth taking it from anyone.

yonder

(9,766 posts)
40. That curled finger come here gesture, more than any other,
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:39 PM
May 2021

including the bird, does it for me. Just doesn't work, never has and I've never been shy about letting whomever know.

2naSalit

(89,013 posts)
31. Does your state have a labor board of any kind?
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:25 PM
May 2021

You could file a complaint against her for creating a hostile working environment.

sprinkleeninow

(20,388 posts)
41. I'm interceding for you to come through this in victory!
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:41 PM
May 2021

May it all be resolved perfectly in your favor! 💛

BobTheSubgenius

(11,659 posts)
32. WHAT???
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:26 PM
May 2021

That is absolutely OUTRAGEOUS behaviour!!! From whom would that be an acceptable act?

If you can't "get them", get out...by all means!

iluvtennis

(20,186 posts)
36. Get out of there. as soon as you can. I resigned from a job due to toxic work environment and
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:32 PM
May 2021

still got my unemployment as the employment judge who moderated the case ruled in my favor over the company. It was very joyous.

***You can win also*** and get the unemployment to tide you over until you can get SSDI approved.

XanaDUer2

(11,731 posts)
39. I have short term disability insurance
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:38 PM
May 2021

and, after 90 days, I'm going for my employer LTD insurance for money while I await ssdi. It's going to be a long haul, but I need to get out of there

dsc

(52,274 posts)
45. It is hard to apply but both my brother and sister got it first time
Sun May 9, 2021, 06:58 PM
May 2021

so I wouldn't necessarily assume it is a no. Good luck in any case.

Response to XanaDUer2 (Original post)

Laffy Kat

(16,456 posts)
54. Does your work have CCTV?
Sun May 9, 2021, 08:32 PM
May 2021

Every inch of our clinic except the restrooms and examination rooms is under surveillance. If so, you could have the incidence pulled for review. I'm so sorry that happened to you; what a horrible boss.

AwakeAtLast

(14,180 posts)
58. Please file a police report.
Mon May 10, 2021, 03:13 PM
May 2021

This person should not be around other employees, especially subordinates!

We're there any witnesses? I'm so sorry this happened to you!

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