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(1,100 posts)
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:16 AM Dec 2020

Moms Covid - update :(

update to - https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214633642

she went to the hosp the other day, they addressed her UTI and fractured ankle from a recent fall but said she didnt have any symptoms of covid so they sent her back to her nursing home yesterday - today I got a frantic call from the home - they were sending her back to the hosp - she was having trouble breathing, was confused and they could not stabilize her oxygen - she was rushed in - put in ICU - the doc called me and asked me if she would want to be saved with 'heroic measures' - CPR, life support etc

I didnt really know what to say - I dont really understand all this covid treatment stuff but I also have had to answer those types of questions for her before - I asked him what he recommends - we discussed what her quality of life was before this happened - based on that he said we should try treating the covid and if she responds to treatment he feels like she can be back to her usual self - IF she responds....

but if she doesnt respond to treatment, and she goes into cardiac arrest - no pulse etc - they wont try to revive her - because if it went that far and they revived her & she survived that...she wouldnt be the same - no quality of life.....

they are giving her steroids, anti-biotics, plasma w antibodies - they put her to sleep and intubated her.....now we wait and see if she responds.....

44 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Moms Covid - update :( (Original Post) TalenaGor Dec 2020 OP
Oh, I am so sorry you're going through this - and for your Mom! Rhiannon12866 Dec 2020 #1
ty - she also has pneumonia in both lungs :( TalenaGor Dec 2020 #2
I'm so very sorry you're going through pnwest Dec 2020 #3
ty - shes in Tacoma General - they were the ones who saved her last time... TalenaGor Dec 2020 #4
I'm so sorry 💔 Raine Dec 2020 #5
My thoughts are with you and your mom. Hope you get some goods news from the hospital soon. Doodley Dec 2020 #6
Dear Talena, I am so sorry that this has come to your beloved mother. Tanuki Dec 2020 #7
Sorry MFM008 Dec 2020 #8
So sorry about your mom Meowmee Dec 2020 #9
I am so sorry. PoindexterOglethorpe Dec 2020 #10
I can not express how much I emphasize with you mercuryblues Dec 2020 #11
Horrific malaise Dec 2020 #12
I am so very sorry UpInArms Dec 2020 #13
So sorry to hear about your Mom... orwell Dec 2020 #14
Really sorry to hear about your mom Jay25 Dec 2020 #15
Our hopes are with you. denbot Dec 2020 #16
Best hopes for your Mom. irisblue Dec 2020 #17
Sending prayers, love and support for you and for your dear mother. gademocrat7 Dec 2020 #18
I am so sorry. mrs_p Dec 2020 #19
I'm so sorry vercetti2021 Dec 2020 #20
So sorry your mom is struggling with Covid... Trueblue Texan Dec 2020 #21
wow that was quick! Im so sorry... I wish people would take this virus seriously.. samnsara Dec 2020 #22
So very sorry to hear this. Sending vibes for healing and strength for you and your Mom. niyad Dec 2020 #23
UTI UTI UTI REMEDY easy. alka seltzer. if caught early kills it dead.use as needed. pansypoo53219 Dec 2020 #24
Really. How does it work? jeffreyi Dec 2020 #33
if you catch or feel one coming, 1 dose as directed should do. if you wait, more needed. pansypoo53219 Dec 2020 #38
Thanks. jeffreyi Dec 2020 #39
one of my med's side effects is UTI's. yay. pansypoo53219 Dec 2020 #42
These nightmares are what we all face now. Best wishes for you and your family. BSdetect Dec 2020 #25
yup. mopinko Dec 2020 #29
I am so sorry this happened to your Mother and to you...hugs and prayers for you both. Demsrule86 Dec 2020 #26
I'm so sorry. Greybnk48 Dec 2020 #27
Oh, no. I am so sorry, Talena. crickets Dec 2020 #28
Thank you all - DU is such an amazing source of support and empathy TalenaGor Dec 2020 #30
My heart goes out to you. May you find the strength to do what is best. nt Atticus Dec 2020 #31
Im so sorry that your mother's going through this. nt live love laugh Dec 2020 #32
I am so sorry -- just hang in there -- gentle peace to you both Hekate Dec 2020 #34
Keeping the vigil with you. Withywindle Dec 2020 #35
I'm so sorry. It's not fair. blogslut Dec 2020 #36
Oh dear, TalenaGor. smirkymonkey Dec 2020 #37
They have asked you EndlessWire Dec 2020 #40
I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard enough making decisions for ourselves - Ms. Toad Dec 2020 #41
Advance directives or living wills make it easier DeminPennswoods Dec 2020 #43
My heart goes out to you. JudyM Dec 2020 #44


(201,025 posts)
1. Oh, I am so sorry you're going through this - and for your Mom!
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:23 AM
Dec 2020

I went through something similar several years ago when my mother fell down the stairs during a hurricane related blackout, she was in ICU for 3 weeks, so I can empathize, it is so hard. Wishing all the best for your Mom and remember to take special care of yourself.


(1,100 posts)
2. ty - she also has pneumonia in both lungs :(
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:29 AM
Dec 2020

AND my cousin is in the same boat but not quite as bad - not intubated at this time...


(14,871 posts)
7. Dear Talena, I am so sorry that this has come to your beloved mother.
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:05 AM
Dec 2020

She did not deserve this. It sounds as if she is receiving skilled, compassionate care and the most up-to-date treatments available. I am praying for peace, comfort, and healing.


(25,618 posts)
10. I am so sorry.
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:53 AM
Dec 2020

Let me offer this. Start with, pretend Covid isn't there.

Now, in regards to the fractured ankle. Ooh, that's painful, which I (and pretty much every one reading if gets) is not fun at all. .

Quality of life. That's huge. Again, think back to before Covid. What would you have recommended back then? Do you recommend the same now? Okay.

Think back to last year. What heroics would you have been willing to do then? Are you willing to do the same now?

These are highly personal considerations.

I already know from personal experience, that the death of someone close to you is hard, very hard. Even when you know it is imminent, it is still a shock. Nothing I post doesn't even begin to convey adequate sympathy.

In the best of circumstances, these are decisions are not easy. I can only hope to offer you support and strength. I know that whatever happens this will not be easy. Please accept my love and condolences.


(14,411 posts)
11. I can not express how much I emphasize with you
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:58 AM
Dec 2020

I wish the best for your Mom and pray she responds to treatment.

These are going to be hard days ahead. Waiting on the phone calls and dreading them at the same time.


(266,939 posts)
12. Horrific
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:02 AM
Dec 2020

Heard someone of TV saying that right now 54% of the population know someone who has Covid and shortly that will move to 60%.
Hope your mom recovers


(7,745 posts)
14. So sorry to hear about your Mom...
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:15 AM
Dec 2020

...my Mom is 92 and we are all terrified of this.

Damn this disease...


(416 posts)
15. Really sorry to hear about your mom
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:23 AM
Dec 2020

Hopefully she will be ok and back to herself. I’m sorry you guys are going through this, sending positive thoughts/energy and prayers your way.

Trueblue Texan

(2,321 posts)
21. So sorry your mom is struggling with Covid...
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:57 AM
Dec 2020

I know this is a miserable, sad time for you and your family. I'm sending healing thoughts and wishing you peace and comfort, whatever may come.


(17,497 posts)
22. wow that was quick! Im so sorry... I wish people would take this virus seriously..
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 07:43 AM
Dec 2020

...(((hugs))) to you and mom.


(111,212 posts)
23. So very sorry to hear this. Sending vibes for healing and strength for you and your Mom.
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 09:23 AM
Dec 2020

Your DU family is here for you.


(1,926 posts)
39. Thanks.
Tue Dec 8, 2020, 11:24 AM
Dec 2020

I ain't there yet, hopefully not for many years, but when the inevitable starts to happen I will definitely give that a try.


(69,584 posts)
29. yup.
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 12:43 PM
Dec 2020

docs forget the chemistry that is the foundation they all had to build.
ph is essential to all chemistry in solution.
hi dose c works, too.


(10,136 posts)
27. I'm so sorry.
Sat Dec 5, 2020, 11:06 AM
Dec 2020

This is such a nightmare, but I believe you made the right decision for your mom. It sounds like something she herself would choose if asked.

Hang in there. There's still hope.



(63,221 posts)
37. Oh dear, TalenaGor.
Sun Dec 6, 2020, 05:48 AM
Dec 2020

I am so sorry for you, your mom and your family. This is so upsetting. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. I hope and pray for you and your mom to be ok.

I would be out of my mind with grief if I were in your position. I can't believe how well you are holding it together. I wish all the best for you and your mother. Please keep us posted. I hope it will be good news.


(6,249 posts)
40. They have asked you
Tue Dec 8, 2020, 01:40 PM
Dec 2020

important questions that only your family can answer. Just make sure it's what YOUR FAMILY wants, and do not let them push you into anything.

I'm very bitter over the way my mother was treated by docs, in a time when we had plenty of beds and she was a vet. They plainly wanted to make her DNR, and they repeatedly asked to make her so. I took her home and she lived for three more years. It was tough, though, and you have to have a lot of fortitude and backup support.

I'm just saying, do what YOU want to do. Accept knowledgeable medical advice, but she's your Mom, not theirs. These times are different, and soon we may have to choose between old and young. Just do your best.

If she has to be intubated, she may end up not being weanable. Be strong. I once had a patient's daughter fly in from Arizona to be with her when she was removed from the ventilator. Patient passed in ten minutes.

Dear, this is tough for you. Prayers coming your way. Your Mom is lucky to have you helping her.

Ms. Toad

(33,810 posts)
41. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard enough making decisions for ourselves -
Tue Dec 8, 2020, 02:02 PM
Dec 2020

Let alone for our loved ones.

Fortunately, I haven't actually had to make any decisions yet - but (also fortunately) we talk about things like this in our family.

It will be so much easier for me to make decisions because we talk openly about end of life decisions in our family. I know that my mom does not want to be intubated. Period. No CPR. No extraordinary measures. If she's ever no longer mentally present, she doesn't want to be physically present. My father wants the decision made based on whether he is likely to have good days post illness. If he can't play in the dirt, or have thoughtful problem-solving conversations with others he doesn't want extraordinary measures. If there's a 50%+ chance he'll have those things later - he wants us to make the effort. I'm the secondary decision-maker for my father, and my father has to have my consent to authorize life-extending care for my mother (since my mother is afraid he will not be able to make the decision to let her go).

It's tough - but at least when I'm grieving the life-threatening condition, I don't have to wonder whether I'm doing what my parents want.


(15,235 posts)
43. Advance directives or living wills make it easier
Wed Dec 9, 2020, 06:32 PM
Dec 2020

on everyone. My parents both had one drawn up with no one else, not even me, able to contravene their decisions. Every time they were in the hospital or later in LTC, I made sure the facility had a copy of these documents. They did me a tremendous service taking their end-of-life decisions out of my hands.

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