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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 02:11 PM
Number of posts: 45,513

Journal Archives

Dumb Criminals: Louisiana Teenager Robs Store Dressed As Ninja Turtle

LAFAYETTE, La. (AP) — "Cowabunga!"

A Louisiana teen is behind bars after police say he donned a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask and used a stick wrapped in plastic to rob a convenience store Thursday morning.

Lafayette police say 18-year-old Lacorrion Detron Turner is charged with first-degree robbery. Police say he was able to force his way behind the counter with the stick. He then tried -- and failed -- to open the register.



What a sick asshole!

Pranksters Put Up Fake Alcoholic License Application For Hooters In San Fran Neighborhood

We like a good restaurant prank as much as the next person, but we're sure the ABC won't be happy to see that someone has made a perfect knockoff of their liquor-license application sign—in order to convince the parents of Noe Valley that their idyllic neighborhood will soon be graced by a location of Hooters. Sent to us by a tipster on Saturday, the sign was mounted on the still-shuttered remains of Noe Valley's Bliss Bar, which closed last year after a catastrophic fire. It lists a license transfer for a type 48 license (a.k.a. full liquor), with a DBA of "Neighborhooters."

But while we know Bliss Bar won't be returning (owner Pierre Letheule cancelled his liquor license last August), Noe-ites shouldn't fear: there's no application in the ABC's database for said Hooters, and the listed corporate name of "Hooters, LLC" is incorrect; the company is actually known as "Hooters of America, LLC." Besides, it's not like Hooters has had much traction in the SF market; their lone location, in Fisherman's Wharf, shuttered in 2011, and was implicated in a class-action lawsuit alleging that servers were denied their tips.


Lawsuit Filed Against Hospital After Delaware Man Wakes Up From Colonoscopy Wearing Pink Panties

A Dover man who underwent a colonoscopy awoke after the procedure to find he was wearing pink women's underwear, according to a lawsuit.

Plaintiff Andrew Walls, 32, was not pleased, or amused, and this month filed a civil suit in New Castle County Superior Court against the Delaware Surgery Center in Dover seeking damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

"The defendant's extreme and outrageous conduct went beyond all possible bounds of decency," wrote attorney Gary Nitsche in the complaint on behalf of Walls, who was employed at the center at the time.

Delaware Surgery Director Jennifer Anderson declined comment Wednesday saying, "We just found out about this yesterday afternoon."


Dumb Cops: NYPD Officers Force Brooklyn Man To Rap For His Freedom

It was rhyme and punishment.

A Brooklyn man says he was forced to rap for a crew of NYPD cops to get out of handcuffs — and warned that if his rhymes weren’t “hot’’ enough, they wouldn’t free him.

Quinshon Shingles’s coerced ditty about booze, “bitches” and weed was good enough to get him released — and enough to prompt a scathing Brooklyn Federal Court lawsuit.

“I felt like they were humiliating me,” said Shingles, whose rap name is “Sauce Da Boss,” to The Post on Tuesday.

“They were all Caucasian officers, and I’m a black man, and they had me performing for my freedom. I was really upset.”


Cue the "Bad Cops" theme from the Simpsons.

Dumb Criminals: Florida (Obviously) Man Covers Self In Tar To Avoid Being Seen By Cops, Fails

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) - When police in Daytona Beach, Florida, found a man covered in tar on the roof of a closed gas station before dawn, he told them he was visiting family.

They didn't believe it.

The Daytona Beach News-Journal reported Thursday that Joshue Holoman, 30, man then tried to convince officers he was a repairman who was atop the Sunoco station at 3 a.m. Tuesday because he heard the air conditioners making noise. Officers didn't believe that one, either.

Finally, police say he told them he had been sleeping on the roof and had smeared tar on himself so he wouldn't be seen.


Dumb Cops: Georgia Police Raid Man's Garden Mistaking Okra For Marijuana

The flip side to stupid criminals, is of course stupid cops, and these cops at least rank Keystone, maybe Reno 911 level of stupid cops:


A Cartersville man is upset after he said investigators mistook a garden full of okra for marijuana plants.

The man growing the popular Southern food said a helicopter woke him up Wednesday and then he had deputies show up at his door.

"I was scared actually, at first, because I didn't know what was happening,” said homeowner Dwayne Perry.

All he noticed was that there was a chopper sitting unusually low over his house, then Bartow County deputies and a K-9 unit appeared at his doorstep in minutes.

"They were strapped to the gills,” Perry said.

It turned out, that helicopter was from the Governor's Task Force for drug suppression and they were out looking for domestic cannabis plants and spotted the tree and plants.


Dumb Criminals: Wisconsin Man Charged With Reckless Endagerment After Scaring Cub Scouts With Sword

SPARTA, Wis. -

Sparta police arrested a 22-year-old man for recklessly endangering safety after he made threatening motions with a sword and yelled at children who knocked on his door.

On October 1, police received a call from the parent of a Cub Scout who was selling popcorn door-to-door. The parent told police three children had walked up and knocked on the door at 616 Walrath St., the residence of Owen S. Reese.

Reese opened the door holding a sword above his head and immediately started yelling at the children, according to Sparta police. Reese made threatening motions toward the children and yelled at them to leave. Sparta police said Reese got within five feet of the children while holding the sword above his head and motioned like he was going to swing it at them.

The parent yelled at the children to get away and they were unharmed.

When police officers made contact with Reese, he came out of his residence holding a sword with both hands at shoulder height. Officers ordered Reese to drop his sword and he complied immediately.

Reese told officers he always answers the door with a sword to protect himself against religious people.


Senator Wants Tougher Regulations On Counterfeit Prom Dresses

Sen. Bob Menendez (D-N.J.) expressed concern that counterfeit prom dresses from China are flooding the U.S. market.

“The domestic prom and bridal dress industry is increasingly under threat from Chinese dress manufacturers and websites that sell counterfeit goods directly to U.S. consumers,” Menendez wrote in a letter sent to Lev Kubiak, director of the Intellectual Property Rights Coordination (IPR) Center.

Menendez said counterfeiting of U.S.-designed and branded clothes harms the economy and is “ripping off consumers.”

“The effects of this direct-to-consumer sale of counterfeit goods negatively impacts companies, consumers, and taxpayers alike,” Menendez wrote over the weekend. “American companies that invest in the design, marketing, and manufacturing, and distribution of prom and bridal dresses are losing sales to Chinese firms that flagrantly violate U.S. law.”


Really? The 1% are raking in unchecked trillions hand over fist, and stacking that unearned wealth overseas to avoid paying taxes, and this is what you say will be "ripping off consumers"? Priorities, people!

Dumb Criminals: New York Grocery Store Worker Charged With Stuffing $1200 Of Meat In His Pants

CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. (AP) — A New York supermarket employee has been accused of leaving the store with $1,200 worth of meat hidden in his pants.

State police say Gregory Rodriguez, of Ossining, is charged with fourth-degree grand larceny.

Rodriguez works at the A&P in Croton-on-Hudson. Police were called Monday about the theft. Rodriguez was arrested Tuesday.

A state police spokeswoman, Trooper Melissa McMorris, says the theft occurred in one day. She did not know if it involved more than one trip to the store.


I await the puns and jokes this thread will bring.
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