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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 02:11 PM
Number of posts: 44,067

Journal Archives

Dumb Criminals: Man Taking SUV On Test Drive Arrested For Impersonating Officer

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — An Oregon man impersonated a sheriff's deputy while taking an SUV for a test drive and pulled over a motorcyclist, authorities said.

Anthony McGuire, 39, of Salem was arrested Saturday after the motorcyclist and two employees from the car lot sensed something was off and called real deputies, Sgt. Chris Baldridge of the Marion County Sheriff's Office said Monday.

Baldridge said McGuire visited Good Fellows Auto Sales three days in a row and told workers he was a sheriff's deputy. Each day, he wanted to test drive a black Chevrolet Tahoe.

On the third day, two suspicious employees decided to join the customer for the drive.

Just down the street from the lot, McGuire suddenly lowered the window and yelled at a motorcyclist to pull over. The motorcyclist obeyed and McGuire told him he was being stopped for speeding.


Dumb Criminals: Acid Tripping Naked Man Crashes Through Door, Recites Scripture

SEATTLE (AP) — It was little comfort to the residents of a Seattle home along Lake Washington when the naked man who crashed through their front door began loudly reciting Scripture.

Police say a woman in the home called 911 at about 2 a.m. Tuesday while her husband grabbed a baseball bat to protect his wife and two young children on the home's upper floor.

Arriving officers spotted a naked man walking down the street, talking to himself. He took off running, they chased and caught him.

Police say after they arrested the 20-year-old man for investigation of burglary, he told them he'd taken LSD. He was taken to Harborview Medical Center for treatment, then booked into jail.


Dumb Criminals: Guy Arrested After Walking Around Backyard Masturbating

DOVER, Del. (CBS) — A Delaware man was arrested after he was accused of performing a lewd act while naked in his backyard.

Gregory N. Kotzar is facing several charges following his arrest in Dover on Tuesday.

According to investigators, several female employees of a dental office on Wolf Creek Boulevard told them they observed Kotzar walking around his backyard naked and masturbating.

Police arrived at Kotzar’s home and he was taken into custody.


I think I saw the Backyard Masturbators at the Troubadour last week.

Dumb Cops: Washington Police Shoot And Kill Agitated Cow

MOUNT VERNON, Wash. (AP) -- Police in Mount Vernon, Washington, killed an agitated Angus cow that rampaged through town, tossing a police officer into the air and tap-dancing on a patrol car.

The Skagit Valley Herald reports (HTTP://IS.GD/DM29HB ) that police spokeswoman Shannon Haigh says the cow apparently escaped from a farm outside the city limits. It was first reported in a Wal-Mart parking lot last Friday.

Haigh says the cow slipped past city police and Skagit County sheriff's deputies who tried to keep it out of the street and away from a nearby wedding.


Why does this remind me of Me, Myself & Irene?

Dumb Criminals: Florida Man (Obviously) Arrested After Turning Barber Shop Into Strip Club


The owner of an Orange County barbershop was arrested after Metropolitan Bureau of Investigation agents raided the business and said it was being used as a strip club.

Super Fades barbershop, which sits along Pine Hills Road, is now closed after the raid sent its owner, 42-year-old Derrick "Ol' Skool" Price, to jail.

Agents said they found a 17-year-old girl stripping inside the business.

MBI investigator Lt. Mike Gibson said undercover agents visited the barbershop by day and learned that it quickly morphed into a liquor-selling strip club every Saturday night.

“On each and every occasion they were serving alcohol and they had strippers. And, not strippers following local law, but strippers that went completely nude,” Gibson said.


Dumb Criminals: Former Chik-Fil-A Employee Accused Of Robbing KFC

ROCK HILL, S.C. (AP) — A man who worked at a Chick-fil-A restaurant in northern South Carolina has been accused of robbing a KFC.

Fifty-year-old old Jeffrey Coley is accused of taking $516 from the KFC in Rock Hill, South Carolina, on Monday.

Police say Coley pulled a gun at the drive-thru at KFC and demanded cash. Coley was arrested Tuesday after a chase. Police say the cash drawer was still in the vehicle.

He's charged with armed robbery, possession of a gun during a violent crime, failure to stop for police and possession of methamphetamine. It wasn't clear whether he has an attorney.


Dumb Criminals: Health Club Locker Room Pervert Accidentally Records Himself

SEEKONK, Mass. (AP) — Massachusetts police say they were able to identify a man who hid a video camera in a women's locker room because he captured himself on video while setting up the camera.

Police say the camera was discovered in a 24-hour Planet Fitness health club by a member Wednesday. The camera had been recording for more than 21 minutes when it was found.

Officers who examined the video say it shows the man setting up the hidden camera in the club at Seekonk. Gym employees identified the man as a club member.


Dumb Criminals: Florida Man (Obviously) Cooks Crystal Meth On Beach

St. Petersburg, Florida -- Pinellas deputies say a St. Pete man's day at the beach included cooking up some methamphetamine.

The Sheriff's Office says deputies noticed a dark colored Chevy Silverado parked along the tree line of Gandy Beach on Saturday night. Investigators made contact with the suspect, 24-year-old Charles J. Tapp, and discovered several needles inside the truck. During their investigation, deputies saw items that indicated the truck was possibly being used to manufacture meth.

Narcotics detectives were called in, and Tapp was arrested for possession of methamphetamine and unlawful possession of the chemicals pseudoephedrine and hydrochloric gas.


Hmm... did his RV look like this?

Dumb Criminals: Minneapolis Man Busted After Forgetting To Close Facebook Page During House Robbery

MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — A Minnesota man is in jail because he logged on to Facebook.

Police say 26-year-old Nicholas Wig checked his profile from a home he broke into, and then he didn’t log off. It happened June 19 in South St. Paul.

“World’s dumbest criminal,” the homeowner James Wood said. “I don’t know.”

Wood had come home to find his house ransacked. His credit cards, cash and watch were all gone.

In their place, the thief had left a pair of Nike tennis shoes, jeans and a belt, that were all wet. Wood said it had been raining outside.

“I started to panic,” he said. “But then I noticed he had pulled up his Facebook profile.”

Wood posted to Facebook using Wig’s profile, saying Wig had burglarized his home. He even shared his phone number to see if someone would call with information. Wig texted him later that day.

“I replied you left a few things at my house last night, how can I get them back to you,” Wood said.

Wig agreed to meet with Wood later that night. Wood believes Wig was under the impression he would give him back some of his clothes he had left at his home in exchange for a recycled cell phone Wig had stolen.


*REALLY* Dumb Criminals: Connecticut Man Hides 19 Bags Of Weed In Socks During Probation Hearing

STAMFORD -- The man accused of carrying 19 bags of stinky marijuana to his probation officer meeting in the the courthouse basement a little over a week ago, was brought back to the Stamford courthouse last last week and charged with violating his probation.

Darren Shelley, 22, of 240 Selleck St., Stamford, appeared Thursday before Judge Ericka Tindall, who raised his court appearance bond by $5,000 for the new arrest.

Up until Thursday, Shelley has been held at the Bridgeport Correctional Center in lieu of a $5,000 court appearance bond since his arrest on June 9, when he was allegedly found with the pot in his sock.

At Thursday's hearing Shelley was assigned a public defender and scheduled to return to court to be arraigned on his marijuana possession charge June 23.

Legal intern Michael Stenger told Tindall that when Shelley met with his probation officer on June 9, the odor of the marijuana he was carrying was so strong that his probation officer became suspicious.


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