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Initech

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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 53,913

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MA Town Stumped When British Woman Dials Wrong Emergency Hotline

BARNSTABLE (CBS) — It took a woman calling Barnstable Police to report a reckless driver a few minutes to realize she’d called authorities on the wrong continent.

The caller phoned police in the Cape Cod town last Thursday–but she was actually calling from Barnstaple, a town in Devon, England, over 3,000 miles away.

In the call above, Officer Mark McWilliams, the Barnstable Police dispatcher, struggles to understand exactly where the woman is calling from. She mentions the towns of Ilfracombe and Muddiford, which he’s never heard of.

“You’re not local, are you?” the woman asks at one point. “Because Ilfracombe is the next town over from Muddiford.”

In the end, McWilliams figures out that she’s calling from across the pond.

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2016/09/20/barnstable-police-call-england/


How does that happen?

Though I did like the response from the officer on duty: “Our response time is gonna be about six hours,”

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #42: Meet The Deplorables Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #42: Meet The Deplorables Edition




Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Football is back everybody! Woooooooooooooooooo! Wooooooooooo!! Woooooo. Well it was a crazy week – my Cardinals lost to the ugh, Patriots on a last second field goal. And we now have football back in Los Angeles. Which is exciting! Woooooooo!! Well maybe not so much if you saw the Monday night game between the Los Angeles Rams and the San Francisco 49ers. Holy shit did that game stink. The Rams definitely did not do enough ramming it. There’s a statistic out there – the Rams haven’t scored a single point in Los Angeles since 1994! That is a long ass time to go between touchdowns. In fact even the announcers remarked during the Monday night game how much the Rams’ re-debut in Los Angeles stunk worse than a freshly run over skunk. But at least thank god we have crazy fans out there. And man did the crazy fans know how to welcome football back to Los Angeles in San Francisco. Well there was one moment that did make the game suddenly a lot more interesting. Can we show that?



My favorite part has to be when the announcer says “Oh my gosh, this guy is drunk and he doesn’t seem to care!”. I was nearly on the floor laughing during that comment. OK enough of the intro. But first Stephen Colbert plays a PSA that The Trump Foundation needs your help!



So where do we begin this week? Of course Donald Trump is taking the first 3 slots this week. In the first slot we are going to talk about Donald Trump (1) appearing on the Dr. Oz show. In the second slot, we are going to further discuss Trump’s Dr. Oz adventure – particularly the insanely creepy relationship he has with his daughter Ivanka. In the third slot we’re going to talk about some more Donald Trump (3) madness which will include his $20,000 portrait. Taking the number 4 seed is possible future vice president (see what I did there?) Mike Pence (4). See, he claims he is not in the “name calling business” but we will disprove that to the contrary! In the number 5 slot we are going to introduce “The Deplorables” – mainly Conservative Twitter Trolls (5). So Hillary Clinton got pneumonia last week, but did you know she was secretly replaced with a body double? Either they’re smoking some good stuff or watching too much of the movie “Dave” lately. At number 6 is the Bathroom Police (6). So we have to talk about some sad news – mainly the passing of trans activists Alexis Arquette and Lady Chablis, which is very sad. But if you saw the Twittersphere, the hateful bullshit being spewed from the trolls will make your skin crawl. But HB-2 is having some serious consequences for North Carolina. Meanwhile, an uber religious former mayor in Ohio was arrested for sexual assault on a 4 year old. In the number 7 slot, we are going to ask "How Is This Still A Thing" and we’re going to recap the best (or worst) of the annual Values Voters Summit. The Values Voters are certifiably insane and so are their spokespeople. In the number 8 slot we’re going to talk about robber barons and in America, the banks rob you. None is more true than Wells Fargo (8) where they got caught creating phony bank accounts and pocketing millions. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we are going to recap the first week of the Bundy Bunch trial. It’s the stuff of magic. Finally this week we are going to debut a new feature called “People Are Dumb” because, well, people are dumb. And we’ve got a lot of stories to cover – stupid criminals, stupid lawsuits, stupid pundits, stupid memes, you name it. And they probably will all vote Trump too. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


Donald Trump




Yes, Donald Trump believes he is the healthiest man alive, folks! “I’m the healthiest man alive, folks, nobody is a healthier man than I am. All the sick people out there are stupid losers. You want to know how to make America great again? Stop being so sick!”

This much we know for sure: Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is making an appearance on The Dr. Oz Show this Thursday for an episode focused on health. Both Trump and his Democratic rival Hillary Clinton were offered the opportunity to appear on the show; Trump, ever the TV showman, has decided to accept.

In preparation for Thursday’s show — which will actually tape Wednesday — Dr. Oz visited with Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade to discuss the upcoming taping. Kilmeade asked the Doc about the strange letter of health from Dr. Harold Bornstein, Trump’s gastroenterologist, which claimed the candidate to be in “astonishingly excellent,” health.
http://www.mediaite.com/online/report-dr-oz-will-surprise-donald-trump-with-the-results-of-his-physical-on-thursday/




OK so why the hell would you go on the Dr. Oz show? Have you not seen that now classic John Oliver segment?



So that happened this week. And I love that Claire McCaskill called Dr. Oz a “snake oil salesman”:

Sen. Claire McCaskill characterized both Dr. Mehmet Oz and Donald Trump as charlatans, calling them "two snake oil salesmen."

"Isn't that a pair. Oh my lord," said McCaskill, D- Mo., during a Thursday interview on "Morning Joe." "I mean one of them says, 'Take a pill and you'll be thin' … from your lips to God's ear, wouldn't we all love that? Not true. Not medically true, not scientifically true. And Dr. Oz knows it."

"Then we have Donald Trump promising things that are totally not true. Lying every time he opens his mouth," she said. "So I think it's really a marriage made in heaven.".......................

Read more: http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/mccaskill-calls-trump-and-oz-snake-oil-salesmen/article/2601888?custom_click=rss




I like that one. But there’s more to the Dr. Oz insanity and we will spell it out for you:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/15/us/politics/donald-trump-health-dr-oz.html?_r=0

After a whiplash-inducing morning of mixed messages, Donald J. Trump on Wednesday gave a small window into some of the results from his most recent physical examination in a taped appearance with the television celebrity Dr. Mehmet Oz.

The quick run-through of results, which Mr. Trump is said to have given to the doctor to read from a piece of paper, came after the Republican presidential nominee’s aides had said he would, and then that he wouldn’t, broach the topic with the celebrity doctor on the “Dr. Oz Show.”

A person close to Mr. Trump would not discuss specifics of what he said on the syndicated show, which was taped on the West Side of Manhattan and is to be broadcast on Thursday.

Mr. Trump, 70, discussed the results as the campaign of his rival, Hillary Clinton, was expected to release some details of her own latest examinations after her recent bout of pneumonia.




So let’s extrapolate this for a minute. Hillary Clinton gets pneumonia and the Twitter trolls, MRAs, and other bottom feeders of the internet start saying she’s “spreading pneumonia everywhere”, while Donald Trump is overweight and takes cholesterol medication. First off if you don’t know how pneumonia is spread, shut the fuck up!! It only makes you look stupid. Second, why does this make one healthier over the other? WTF? Well in true Donald J. Trump fashion, he likens himself to Patriots quarterback and serial cheater Tom Brady:

2016 cannot be parodied because 2016 parodies itself.

On Thursday, for instance, the former reality television star who is now the Republican presidential nominee appeared on the daytime talk show hosted by the quack doctor popularized by Oprah Winfrey in lieu of releasing his actual medical records.

The appearance was initially billed as an event of Jerry Springer-like proportions. With Trump sitting next to him, Dr. Oz would read the results of the mogul’s recent physical so that Trump and the housewives watching at home (a demographic Trump has struggled to appeal to) would learn his condition at the same time.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/15/donald-trump-to-dr-oz-i-m-strong-as-tom-brady.html


Hey Donald. Stop talking. Please.






And by the way in case you were wondering, Media Matters posted some good info about the nutritional supplement industry which Dr. Oz is a huge fan of:

Oz “Perpetuate Dubious Medical Advice.” A Politico article on Trump's appearance on the “scientifically dubious” Dr. Oz Show reported that Oz has come under repeated scrutiny for “charges that he has perpetuated dubious medical advice on his show.” Oz “has promoted a raft of scientifically unproven therapies and downplayed the risk of concussions for kids.”

Oz Admitted To Congress His Weight Loss Pills “Don’t Have ... Scientific Muster.” On June 17, 2014, The Huffington Post reported that Dr. Oz was ”scolded by Chairman Claire McCaskill for claims he made about weight-loss aids on his TV show.” McCaskill charged that Oz gave people “false hope” disguised as “a miracle.” Oz was forced to admit, “I recognize don’t have the scientific muster to present as fact,” yet he stood by his fraudulent advocacy anyway.

Oz Promoted Psychic Abilities. Oz has repeatedly hosted psychics on his TV show, and defended such work to his audience by saying, “Doctors don’t have all the answers.” While hosting famous psychic John Edward, Oz also told his audience Edward “seems authentic, not at all like a charlatan.”
http://mediamatters.org/research/2016/09/14/eight-things-media-should-know-about-scientifically-dubious-dr-oz/213084





Donald Trump


If you’re eating something, I highly encourage you to look away from this next entry. You are free to skip over it. I’ll even give you some intermission music. Go!



OK you’ve chosen to stick with us. Ok…. Even I’m disgusted by this entry. In fact I think I may throw up after reading this. So as you may know Donald Trump has an almost incestuous relationship with his daughter Ivanka. And this part of the Dr. Oz interview was very curiously left out:



Oh god make it stop!!!!! Yes, Donald Trump admitted that he kisses his daughter Ivanka every chance he gets!



#ICreatedIvanka

Donald Trump really appreciates his daughter Ivanka's good looks – probably a little too much.

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Trump delivered a more-than-vaguely-sexual response when the magazine's reporter praised Ivanka Trump, a prominent businesswoman in her own right.

"Yeah, she's really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren't happily married and, ya know, her father ..." he said.

It's hardly the first time Trump, the Republican Party's 2016 frontrunner, has gone a shade too far complimenting his daughter.

"If Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her," Trump cracked in a now-infamous 2006 interview with "The View."
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-ivanka-rolling-stone


?w=525

Can’t unsee! Cant unsee!!! I do like this meme that surfaced about Ivanka and Don Jr possibly being Barbie and Ken:



Well naturally Dr. Oz would leave that part out of the interview! There’s more:

At this point, it should come as no particular surprise that Donald Trump used daytime TV as the venue for disclosing more detailed medical records than he’d previously shown the public.

His Dr. Oz appearance is in keeping with both a campaign that’s capitalized off lessons the candidate learned in his time on reality TV and a political scene in which all manner of pop-culture TV has come to be more important than ever to transmit messages to discrete groups of voters.

What was surprising was the degree to which Trump tamped himself down. In the past, every Trump appearance, from debates to Morning Joe phoners, was carried across like the boardroom on The Apprentice. Here, Trump was subdued and at times almost melancholic in tone when describing the declines and deaths of his late parents, and restrained rather than triumphalist when going over the letter he presented from his physician to Dr. Oz.
http://time.com/4495653/donald-trump-dr-oz-review/


Straight forward – except for one tiny little, extremely significant detail:

‘Dr. Oz Show’ Edits Out Donald Trump Comment About Kissing Daughter Ivanka

Itay HodSeptember 15, 2016

Donald Trump’s favorite physician, Dr. Mehmet Oz, is under fire after producers edited out a joke made by the GOP nominee about how much he loves kissing his daughter Ivanka.

According to MSNBC’s Peter Alexander, when Ivanka came on to the show during Wednesday’s taping, her father greeted her with a kiss… to which Dr. Oz said something along the lines of, “It’s nice to see a dad kiss his daughter.”

That was all it took for The Donald to give everyone the heebie-jeebies, telling the audience he kisses her every chance he gets.

(Ok … First, Eww).
https://www.yahoo.com/tv/dr-oz-show-edits-creepy-donald-trump-kissing-202328937.html




And there’s even more. I like that Stephen Colbert dissected this whole thing:



Donald Trump's favorite physician, Dr. Mehmet Oz, is under fire after producers edited out a joke made by the GOP nominee about how much he loves kissing his daughter Ivanka.

According to MSNBC's Peter Alexander, when Ivanka came on to the show during Wednesday's taping, her father greeted her with a kiss... to which Dr. Oz said something along the lines of, "It's nice to see a dad kiss his daughter."

That was all it took for The Donald to give everyone the heebie-jeebies, telling the audience he kisses her every chance he gets.
http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/the-wrap/article/Dr-Oz-Show-Edits-Out-Donald-Trump-Comment-9226578.php


Excuse me a minute:



I feel better!


Donald Trump


So we’re going to talk about some random Trump madness for this entry and add our usual brand of hilarity using the Fake Trump Tweet generator. For instance you know Matt Lauer had his lips firmly implanted on Trump’s ass this week:

Lauer's handling of the NBC News "Commander-In-Chief Forum" with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump on Wednesday night was widely panned by journalists and pundits.

The "Today" show co-host was criticized for spending too much time on Clinton's emails, lobbing softball questions to Trump, and neglecting to fact-check the Republican nominee when he falsely claimed to have opposed the Iraq War in 2002.

"This #NBCNewsForum feels like an embarrassment to journalism," New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof wrote on Twitter.
http://money.cnn.com/2016/09/07/media/matt-lauer-nbc-commander-in-chief-forum/




#NiceTrump

But there’s also more Trump madness. He went a full 180 on the birther situation which in both of Obama’s terms in office, Donald Trump said some things about Obama’s birth certificate that weren’t exactly what one would call “flattering”:

Hillary Clinton’s campaign first raised this issue to smear then-candidate Barack Obama in her very nasty, failed 2008 campaign for President. This type of vicious and conniving behavior is straight from the Clinton Playbook. As usual, however, Hillary Clinton was too weak to get an answer. Even the MSNBC show Morning Joe admits that it was Clinton’s henchmen who first raised this issue, not Donald J. Trump.

In 2011, Mr. Trump was finally able to bring this ugly incident to its conclusion by successfully compelling President Obama to release his birth certificate. Mr. Trump did a great service to the President and the country by bringing closure to the issue that Hillary Clinton and her team first raised. Inarguably, Donald J. Trump is a closer. Having successfully obtained President Obama’s birth certificate when others could not, Mr. Trump believes that President Obama was born in the United States.

Except that's not true. Indeed, virtually every line of the statement is a lie.

Hillary Clinton did not allege that the president was born in Kenya. Trump did not compel Obama to release his birth certificate "when others had not"—Obama had already released a copy of his birth certificate, but critics, including Trump, believed it to be a fake. So Obama released a longer birth certificate in 2011—but that release did not bring "closure" to the issue. Instead, Trump called it a forgery, citing "Israeli science," and announced that he was sending a team of investigators to Hawaii to uncover the truth. He suggested that a Hawaiian health official who knew of the cover-up had died in suspicious circumstances.

MORE:
http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/09/every-line-donald-trumps-birther-statement-lie




But here’s what could probably be my favorite Trump story of the week. He allegedly may or may not have spent Trump Foundation money to buy a $20,000 portrait of himself. Ok this makes my head hurt. So Donald Trump has a giant building in New York with his name on it:



A casino in Las Vegas with his name on it:



A Boeing 757 with his name on it:



Eats KFC with a silver knife and fork:



Proudly proclaims that the best taco bowls come from Trump Tower:



And now spends $20,000 on a portrait for himself, and Hillary Clinton is the elitist? Get the fuck out of here!

In 2007, Donald Trump spent $20,000 that belonged to his charity — the Donald J. Trump Foundation — to buy a six-foot-tall portrait of himself during a fundraiser auction at his Mar-a-Lago Club in Florida.

That purchase was reported Sunday by The Washington Post. Since then, the portrait has been the center of a mystery: What did Trump do with the painting after he bought it?

If Trump did not give the painting to a charity — or find a way to use it for charitable purposes — he may have violated IRS rules against “self-dealing,” which prohibit nonprofit leaders from spending charity money on themselves.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/a-clue-to-the-whereabouts-of-the-6-foot-tall-portrait-of-donald-trump/2016/09/14/ae65db82-7a8f-11e6-ac8e-cf8e0dd91dc7_story.html


Can we show that?



He looks like Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore. You will not make this putt, jackass!!




Mike Pence


We’ve discussed possible future president Donald Trump ad nauseum in the last few months – even going so far as to do an all Trump edition (see . But we really haven’t talked about possible future VICE president Mike Pence yet (see what I did there? ) all that much. Anyway, he said some pretty controversial shit about the “deplorables” which we will cover in the next entry. In fact let’s take a look at some choice Pence quotes to get a feel for what’s coming down the pike.

From the man who brought you one of the nation’s strictest anti-choice laws, defunded Planned Parenthood and caused an HIV outbreak, voted three times against a bill to address workplace gender discrimination, and most recently, giddily joined the presidential ticket of America’s most prominent misogynist, the many sexist comments of Mike Pence should hardly come as a surprise. Pence made headlines for a very sexist op-ed which somehow managed to cite Disney’s Mulan as evidence for why women shouldn’t be in the military, but it was rife with plenty of other misogynistic points worth noticing. Recently, yet another very sexist op-ed by the Indiana Governor and staunch social conservative, published in The Indianapolis Star in 1997, came to light and is worth dissecting.

It’s true that both essays by Pence were written nearly 20 years ago at this point, and there is a social statute of limitations on saying stupid things. That is, if you go on to offer some evidence that you’ve learned, know better, and see things differently now — none of which Pence has done. With regard to his Mulan comments, not only does it at least appear that Pence has maintained his stance, joining the ticket of a man who famously proposed preventing military rape by barring women, but he also called for a ban on gay men in the military in 2000.
http://www.alternet.org/election-2016/terrible-mike-pence-quotes-against-women


http://images.memes.com/meme/747347

Yes we can and are being serious. So let’s go through some of these shall we?

“For years, we have gotten the message from the mouthpieces of the popular culture that you can have it all, career, kids and a two-car garage.”

His 1997 op-ed, “Day-care Kids,” was filled with gems like this. In Pence’s eyes, the privilege of balancing family life and career, popularly known as “having it all,” should be reserved for men. Why, you ask?

“Sure, you can have it all, but your day-care kids get the short end of the emotional stick.”

This doesn’t appear to be gendered language on the surface. But children go to day care when both of their parents are working, and they don’t have a parent to stay home with them. And I bet you can guess which parent Pence thinks should be staying at home with the kids and should be blamed for “stunting” their children’s “emotional development.” If you can’t guess, he makes it perfectly clear in another line in the op-ed.
http://www.alternet.org/election-2016/terrible-mike-pence-quotes-against-women




Now let’s fast forward to approximately last week:



PENCE: As I've told you the last time I was on, I'm not really sure why the media keeps dropping David Duke's name. Donald Trump has denounced David Duke repeatedly. We don't want his support and we don't want the support of people who think like him.
BLITZER: So you call him a deplorable. You would call him deplorable.
PENCE: No, I'm not in the name-calling business, Wolf. You know me better than that. What Hillary Clinton did Friday night was shocking. I mean, the millions of people who support Donald Trump around this country are not a basket of anything. They are Americans. And they deserve the respect of the Democrat nominee for president of the United States. For her to rattle off this litany of pejoratives was just really shocking.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/09/12/mike-pence-declines-to-say-if-david-duke-is-deplorable-because-pence-is-not-in-the-name-calling-business/





The Deplorables




So that happened. And you might ask yourself “Who are the deplorables?” Well we answer you – they are simply put, deplorable. Like Mike Pence in the previous entry. Or Alex Jones. Or Rush Limbaugh. Or Ted Nugent. They’re just the most racist, sexist, hateful people on the planet. People who think that Hillary Clinton was replaced with a body double when she had a bout with pneumonia last week!

Famous Clinton impersonator Teresa Barnwell first played along, tweeting she might have been in New York that day. She was actually on the West Coast, preparing for a Spike TV network show. She had been in New York just a few weeks ago and a friend took her past Chelsea Clinton's building, where they took photos.

"As I was sitting in my dressing room, I posted to have a little fun," Barnwell said, adding that she had never shared the New York photo previously. "I had already posted that I was in L.A. before that, so I was just joking with people."

Barnwell later said she was in Los Angeles during the time of the photos, telling people to “calm down.”
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/09/13/internet-thinks-hillary-clinton-has-body-double/90297312/


In fact I think if you made a ven diagram based on who the deplorables are, and America’s religious right, you would find these two things have a lot in common. So here’s what happened:

New York (CNN)Hillary Clinton expressed "regret" Saturday for comments in which she said "half" of Donald Trump's supporters are "deplorables," meaning people who are racist, sexist, homophobic or xenophobic.
"Last night I was 'grossly generalistic,' and that's never a good idea. I regret saying 'half' -- that was wrong," Clinton said in a statement in which she also vowed to call out "bigotry" in Trump's campaign.

The Democratic presidential nominee sparked an uproar late Friday when she described Trump's supporters at a fundraiser.
"To just be grossly generalistic, you can put half of Trump supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables," Clinton said. "Right? Racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic, you name it."
www.cnn.com/2016/09/09/politics/hillary-clinton-donald-trump-basket-of-deplorables/


Did she say half? You know what, Hillary? We support you here 100%, and we will not fault you if your math is off. It’s not half of Trump supporters who are “deplorable”. It’s not half, it’s 100 fucking percent of Trump followers that are deplorables! Like this guy!



Or this guy:



Even that baby in that picture is like “what the fuck am I getting into?” Or this guy:



Or these women:



In fact these douchebags and douchebagettes love Trump so much that they’re proudly wearing their ignorance on their sleeve:

Well, that didn't take long.

Just days after Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton said half of Donald Trump's supporters make up a "basket of deplorables," some of those supporters are embracing the label. Among those whom Clinton dismissed as the "basket" cases there is a sense of pride in being insulted by the candidate they despise.

A wide variety of "deplorable" merchandise is already available online. On the shopping website Etsy, one can find deplorable T-shirts, key chains, car decals, buttons, pendants, coffee mugs and even a deplorable pocket watch.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2016/09/12/deplorable-and-proud-some-trump-supporters-embrace-label/90290760/


Can we show that?





Good! You’re easy to identify! Bravo, well done!

In fact Trumpenfuror has been weighing in on the subject:

ASTON, Pa. — From the fundraising circuit to campaign stops in places like suburban Philadelphia, Donald Trump is trying to turn Hillary Clinton's "basket of deplorables" comment from last week into this year's version of Mitt Romney's "47%" remark from the 2012 election.

Just as Romney's comment that 47% of the electorate would be with President Obama because they are "dependent upon government" undermined his campaign, Trump and his aides are looking for a similar effect from Clinton's claim that half of the businessman's supporters are racist xenophobes, saying it reflects disdain for all Americans.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2016/09/15/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-basket-of-deplorables/90352670/



And even worse – he’s embracing the idea. This is not good, it’s almost like Mitt Romney’s 47% comment that cost him the election in 2012. Almost. :

Baltimore (CNN)Donald Trump pounced Monday on Hillary Clinton for calling half of his supporters a "basket of deplorables" late last week, launching a new attack ad and arguing on the stump that the remark disqualifies Clinton from the presidency.
The Republican nominee, speaking Monday at the National Guard Association's annual conference, called on Clinton to apologize for and retract her remarks, arguing that she had "slandered" millions of Americans. Trump's outrage Monday was a significant political statement for a candidate who has repeatedly offended millions of Americans throughout his controversial campaign.

"The disdain that Hillary Clinton expressed toward millions of Americans disqualifies her from public service. You cannot run for president if you have such contempt in your heart for the American voter," Trump said. "You can't lead this nation if you have such a low opinion of its citizens."
http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/12/politics/trump-ad-hits-clinton-for-deplorables/







The Bathroom Police


So we got to talk about some Twitter trolling this week when it comes to the Bathroom Police. Some incredibly sad news happened last week. Not one, but two trans activists passed away very sadly and suddenly. The first of course is Alexis Arquette:

It is with a heavy heart that we’ve learned actor and trans-rights activist Alexis Arquette has passed away at age 47 on Sunday, September 11. Her passing was confirmed by her brother Richmond Arquette. Alexis was born Robert Arquette, and her transition from male to female was documented in the 2007 film Alexis Arquette: She’s My Brother. Alexis’ cause of death has not yet been confirmed.

Arquette was maybe best known for playing a Boy George-inspired character in the 1998 comedy The Wedding Singer, as well as a memorable bit role in Pulp Fiction. She also had small but memorable parts in dozens of other films in the ’90s and early 2000s, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Threesome, Inside Out, and Bride of Chucky, and television series like Xena and Roseanne. Alexis came from a famous family, as her siblings were well-known actors Rosanna, Patricia and David Arquette.
http://nerdist.com/cult-movie-and-tv-actoractivist-alexis-arquette-has-died/


That’s sad enough. And then this happened also:

SAVANNAH, Ga. — The Lady Chablis, the transgender performer who became an unlikely celebrity for her role in the 1994 best-seller "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil," died Thursday in Savannah, her family said. She was 59.

Chablis' sister, Cynthia Ponder, confirmed she died at Candler Hospital. A close friend, Cale Hall, said Chablis died from pneumonia and had been in the hospital for the past month.

A modern, nonfiction take on Southern Gothic storytelling, author John Berendt's "Midnight" thrust Savannah into the pop-culture spotlight. And the sassy, blunt-spoken Chablis rode the book's popularity to a level of fame that was rare for transgender performers at the time.
http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/lady-chablis-transgender-midnight-star-dies-age-59-n645006


Now that we got that out of the way, the shit being spewed on Twitter was unbelievable. In fact the hate and vitriol was so toxic that, as they say on Animal House, “the decorum prohibits me from listing that here.”. But really do a search – it’s pretty horrifying. Now that we got that out of the way – we got to talk about the real consequences that the North Carolina HB-2 bill is having on the state. You know a few editions ago, we talked about how the NCAA was threatening to pull the College World Series out of Lincoln if a proposed bill similar to HB 2 was passed. Well they actually put their foot down in regards to HB-2:

Oh, sweet home, North Carolina. What a mess you have become. After the insane HB2 bill passed (which essentially forces trans men and women to have an unnecessarily uncomfortable bathroom visit), people have been canceling on the state left and right.

Now, they may have lost their biggest endorsement to the state, and the GOP's response surely isn't helping.

If you grew up in North Carolina like I did, you would know that the NCAA Tournament is one of the most long-awaited events of the year. There are games, cookouts, parties, concerts, etc. It has to be the single greatest week for the state, for sure (but don't quote me on that). What you can quote me on is the fact that North Carolina is now set to lose over $100 million due to this stupid bill.
http://www.oxygen.com/very-real/the-ncaa-is-protesting-ncs-anti-trans-bill-and-the-gops-response-is-absolutely-insane




Well let’s expand on that. Of course the GOP reacted in the typical way that you would expect a 5 year old to react when you take their toys away:





But there is some good news in the war on bathrooms – I don’t want you to think this show is just about negativity, no good sir / madam! We head across the pond to China for this one (yes the same anti-human rights violating China):

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-china-rights-textbook-idUSKCN11I174
”Since 2001 when homosexuality was declassified as an illness in mainland China, 40 percent of the psychology and mental health teaching materials published on the mainland say homosexuality is an illness," Qiu said.

She first raised the issue and lodged legal cases with the Ministry of Education in 2015, as well as with publishers of the textbooks. But her complaints were ignored and her applications were rejected.

A promise by the Ministry of Education to deal with her case through their internal mediation process in return for dropping one of the lawsuits also failed to materialize, Qiu said.

"As someone studying within the education system, when the Ministry of Education tells me that the education materials have no connection with us and we won't deal with it, it's really disappointing."




And of course here at the Top 10 whenever we talk about the Bathroom Police, we have to mention actual sex crimes committed by actual fundies, and they of course leave me no shortage of material here:

A former Ohio mayor has admitted to repeatedly raping a child, prosecutors said — but the self-described Christian blames the girl for her own sexual abuse.

Richard Keenan, who served as mayor of Hubbard in 2010 and 2011, was indicted last month eight counts of rape and 12 counts of attempted rape and gross sexual imposition, reported the Youngstown Vindicator.

The 65-year-old Keenan pleaded not guilty last month during a court appearance, but prosecutors said he admitted to sexually assaulting the girl over a three-year period, beginning when she was 4 years old.
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/ohio-ex-mayor-who-dedicated-life-to-christ-admits-to-raping-4-year-old-and-blames-her-as-willing/


Hey Christian fundamentalists!!!! Stop taking AK47s into bathrooms because you’re afraid of trans people needing to pee because they “might commit a sex crime”. THIS IS WHAT AN ACTUAL SEX CRIMINAL LOOKS LIKE!!!!!!



Values Voters Summit Recap


Time once again to ask:



The Values Voters Summit. How is this still a thing? You might remember the Values Voters from the 2004 election when George Bush touted them as the saviors of the country, or in 2008 when John McCain touted them as the saviors of the country, or in 2012 when Mitt Romney touted them as the saviors of the country. Well in those elections, they didn’t show up. Ha ha. Another year another jaw-breaking yawn that is the Values Voters Summit. And every year the speakers for the summit seem to decline in quality on a huge scale. This is the same group of people who think batshit crazy homophobes like Phil Robertson and Jim Bob Duggar are the “moral high ground”. If these people are your friends, who are your enemies? Well look at the lineup of speakers they had this year!

At the annual Values Voter Summit this weekend, Christian conservative leaders and attendees offered interesting and sometimes bizarre explanations for why they’re supporting the thrice-married, often offensive and insulting Donald Trump in interviews with me for SiriusXM Progress. Outside the conference of evangelical activists at which Trump spoke on Friday, a group of religious leaders opposed to Trump staged a protest, explaining that the Republican nominee didn’t exemplify Christian values when he mocked a reporter with disabilities and called women “pigs.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jon-voight-donald-trump_us_57d3fed2e4b03d2d459ab14c


The sad thing is Jon Voight will forever be tied with a certain 1984 LeBaron convertible:




And a certain batshit crazy congressman from Texas:

WASHINGTON ― Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) said Hillary Clinton is “mentally impaired” during a speech at the Values Voter Summit on Friday.

Gohmert said that he didn’t want to make fun of Clinton, then went on to do just that.

“You don’t make fun of people who are impaired, have special needs, and whether you like her or not, Hillary Clinton has made clear that she is mentally impaired and this is not somebody you should be making fun of,” Gohmert said to laughter in the audience.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/louie-gohmert-hillary-clinton_us_57d2cc22e4b03d2d4599fc74


Yup! Bet you didn’t think it was going to be him did you? But the craziest takeaway from the Values Voters Summit? According to Matt Blevin, the new governor of Kentucky, if Hillary Clinton is elected in November – guess what? We are all going to die tonight! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin may be calling for a violent uprising if Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton is elected in November.

After being elected following his unwavering support for anti-equality crusader Kim Davis, Bevin received the Distinguished Christian Statesman award from the D. James Kennedy Center for Christian Statesmanship on Friday night at the Values Voters Summit. But it was his Saturday speech that is raising eyebrows. Bevin told the ultra-right audience that he thinks America is at a crossroads.

“We don’t have multiple options,” he warned. “We’re going one way or we’re going the other way, politically, spiritually, morally, economically, from a liberty standpoint. We’re going one way or we’re going the other way.”
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/ky-gov-matt-bevin-predicts-shedding-of-the-blood-of-tyrants-and-patriots-if-clinton-is-elected/




And of course he happened to show up. You know – him:

Donald Trump has been often accused of sounding like and/or patterning his speeches after Adolf Hitler, and after delivering his Values Voters Summit speech Friday in Washington, D.C., he’ll likely be accused of paraphrasing Hitler once again. Because inasmuch as many political speeches speak to nationalism and patriotism, and neither Trump nor Hitler are exceptions to the rule (and far from it), 2016 Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump seems to have taken a line straight from the Nazi Party slogan “Ein volk, Ein reich, Ein Fuhrer!” (“One people, one empire, one leader!”).

Right Side Broadcasting streamed the Values Voters Summit in Washington, D.C., live on YouTube Friday, September 9, presenting several speakers — such as Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani — at the annual conference. The main speaker, of course, was Republican Party nominee for president Donald Trump. He regaled the crowd of Christian voters in his usual bombastic way, but near the end of the speech, Trump seemed to play into the hands of his accusers who claim that not only does Trump remind people of infamous dictators like Italian fascist Benito Mussolini and German Nazi leader Adolf Hitler with his jingoism, blatant nativist nationalism, and over-the-top fact-twisting scapegoating, but he sounds like them as well. He paraphrased the infamous Nazi Party slogan, “Ein volk, ein reich, ein Fuhrer!”
http://www.inquisitr.com/3497058/did-donald-trump-paraphrase-hitlers-slogan-ein-volk-ein-reich-ein-fuhrer-at-values-voters-summit/




That’s enough to make you ask – the Values Voters Summit:




Wells Fargo


You know that Russian comedian who performs in Branson, Missouri - Yakov Smirnov? Well this next story will make you incredibly angry. Because in capitalist America, banks rob you! And now we have proof because the biggest of all banks, Wells Fargo got caught creating tons of phony accounts. And well it doesn’t end well and you know who’s going to wind up paying for it? Well it ain’t Wells Fucking Fargo, that’s for damn sure! Here’s the story as it initially broke:

Financial regulators recently ordered Wells Fargo to pay $185 million to resolve allegations that the bank’s sales quotas and incentives pushed employees to open millions of unauthorized accounts, but that my not be the end of Wells’ troubles, with the U.S. Department of Justice now looking into the matter.

Federal prosecutors in U.S. attorney’s offices in New York and San Francisco are in the early stages of an investigation related to the bank’s alleged improper sales tactics that started in 2013, The Wall Street Journal reports, citing sources familiar with the matter.

The investigation centers on whether someone in senior management within the bank directed employees to falsify documents in conjunction with the opening of more than one million accounts and other banking products without customers’ knowledge.
https://consumerist.com/2016/09/15/feds-investigating-wells-fargo-after-employees-open-2-million-fake-accounts/




Yes that’s right – Wells Fargo is ordered to pay $185 million. Which means us regular chumps who have accounts with them will probably get… 35 cents. 36 cents if we’re lucky. But there’s more. So much more.

Everyone hates paying bank fees. But imagine paying fees on a ghost account you didn't even sign up for.

That's exactly what happened to Wells Fargo customers nationwide.

On Thursday, federal regulators said Wells Fargo (WFC) employees secretly created millions of unauthorized bank and credit card accounts -- without their customers knowing it -- since 2011.

The phony accounts earned the bank unwarranted fees and allowed Wells Fargo employees to boost their sales figures and make more money.

"Wells Fargo employees secretly opened unauthorized accounts to hit sales targets and receive bonuses," Richard Cordray, director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, said in a statement.
http://money.cnn.com/2016/09/08/investing/wells-fargo-created-phony-accounts-bank-fees/


5300 employees! How deep does this thing go? This is just plain fucking evil. Which I am sure has absolutely nothing to do with this:

http://fortune.com/2016/09/12/wells-fargo-cfpb-carrie-tolstedt/
Wells Fargo & Co’s ( wfc ) “sandbagger”-in-chief is leaving the giant bank with an enormous pay day—$124.6 million.

In fact, despite beefed-up “clawback” provisions instituted by the bank shortly after the financial crisis, and the recent revelations of massive misconduct, it does not appear that Wells Fargo is requiring its former consumer banking chief Carrie Tolstedt to give back any of her nine-figure pay. Until recently, Tolstedt was in charge of the unit where Wells Fargo employees opened more than 2 million largely unauthorized customer accounts—a seemingly routine practice that employees internally referred to as “sandbagging.”

On Thursday, Wells Fargo ( wfc ) agreed to pay $185 million, including the largest penalty ever imposed by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, to settle claims that that it defrauded its customers. The bank’s shareholders will ultimately have to swallow the cost of that settlement. The bank also said it had fired 5,300 employees over five years related to the bad behavior.


Yup! They get laid off and the boss pockets big! But you know there’s nothing to see here. Which I think could be the end result of what happened with this story from 2014:

Attorneys, forensic accountants and consumer advocates have long suspected that banks were systematically creating improper documents to prove ownership of loans. Foreclosure defense lawyers use the term ‘ta-da’ endorsement to describe situations in which they say a document appears, as if by magic, in the bank’s possession as needed in a foreclosure case—even though the proper endorsement was not included in the original foreclosure filing. It might sound like a technicality, but correct proof of ownership lies at the heart of the foreclosure crisis for securitized loans, which were sold by the lender that originally issued the mortgage. To legally transfer a securitized loan, the endorsements and allonges have to be created in a very specific way and within a specific time frame, usually 90 days after a residential mortgage trust closes. For many loans in foreclosure now, which were originated years ago and then sold, it’s way too late to correct incomplete documents, experts said.
http://nypost.com/2014/03/12/wells-fargo-made-up-on-demand-foreclosure-papers-plan-court-filing-charges/





The Bundy Bunch


So by now you know that the Bundy Bunch’s long awaited trial for what they did to the Malheur Wildlife Sanctuary is well underway in Oregon. But that’s not before they made some batshit crazy demands and that they really hate prison. Let’s recap some of it, shall we?

Ammon Bundy, his brother Ryan Bundy, and co-defendants Ryan Payne and Brian Cavalier are appealing ... U.S. District Court Judge Anna J. Brown's ruling last week that would allow U.S. marshals to transport them April 13 to Nevada ...

Their defense lawyers argued that they didn't think federal prosecutors in Oregon and Nevada should pursue criminal cases against the defendants at the same time. Splitting time between courtrooms and jail cells in Oregon and Nevada would severely compromise their ability to meaningfully communicate with their defense attorneys and would interfere with their rights to speedy trials, they argued ...

The formal notice of appeal was made to the court on Monday, likely placing any transfer on hold until the matter is heard by the appellate court.

http://www.oregonlive.com/oregon-standoff/2016/03/bundy_brothers_and_2_co-defend.html


Which the prosecutors quickly opposed:

LAS VEGAS (AP) – Prosecutors are telling a federal judge in Las Vegas that Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy and 18 co-defendants should be tried together in a criminal conspiracy case stemming from an armed standoff with federal agents in 2014.

Documents filed Friday by the U.S. attorney in Nevada respond to filings by Bundy, his adult sons and nearly all the other defendants seeking separate trials.

Prosecutors argue it’s more efficient for one trial with one jury that can see “the entire picture of an alleged crime” ...

http://koin.com/2016/06/14/prosecutors-oppose-separate-bundy-case-trials/




And – my favorite part – they want to act as their own attorney in all of this! Because you know that’s the type of sanity you want in a trial like this – and you know what they say – a man who is his own attorney has a fool for a client!

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — A federal judge agreed to let Oregon standoff defendants Ryan Bundy and Kenneth Medenbach represent themselves at their upcoming trial, despite concerns they won't follow court rulings in the presence of the jury.

U.S. District Judge Court Anna Brown threatened to take away their right to self-representation because they have repeatedly challenged the court's jurisdiction. At a hearing Tuesday, she wanted them to promise they wouldn't raise issues in front of a jury that have already been resolved.

Medenbach said he would follow the rules. Bundy was more hesitant, but eventually agreed ...

http://www.ktvz.com/news/ryan-bundy-can-continue-as-own-lawyer-in-malheur-refuge-case/41442452




So here’s what they’re on trial for exactly:

... When we last left the Bundy posse, the federal government had charged 26 individuals who took part in the Malheur occupation and 19 people ...

So far, 11 Malheur defendants have pleaded guilty to charges of conspiring to impede federal employees at the Malheur wildlife refuge through intimidation, threats or force ... The eight Malheur defendants who will step into court this week have entered not guilty pleas ... Another seven Malheur defendants are part of a separate trial also set for next February ...

“The Bundy family and their outlandish opinions on American democracy and American public lands will no doubt be on display during this trial,” says Greg Zimmerman, of the progressive research group Center for Western Priorities. “But let's not lose sight of the fact that the Bundys have continued to receive support from elected officials.”

“The reality is the history of this family’s engagement with the federal government is not a laughing matter,” adds Lenz. “It’s a serious safety concern.”

http://www.hcn.org/articles/the-bundys-go-to-court




And they’ve already made a list of demands for the trial – and we’re not even two days in!

Oregon sheriff David Ward said Ammon Bundy and his armed supporters repeatedly threatened “to overthrow” him and tore apart his small rural community, in the first testimony in the high-profile militia standoff case.

Ward’s town is still recovering from the impact of the Malheur national wildlife refuge occupation, the sheriff told a packed federal courtroom in Portland on the second day of the trial.

“We’re still dealing with a lot of the fallout,” he said.

Ward, the local sheriff in rural Harney County, was thrust into the national spotlight at the start of the armed occupation, which began on 2 January when brothers Ammon and Ryan Bundy led a takeover of the Malheur national wildlife refuge to protest against the federal government.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/14/oregon-militia-standoff-bundy-trial-oregon-sheriff-david-ward




But strap in folks because we are in this shit for the long haul!




People Are Dumb


We need some music for this entry can we get that please?




Yeah love me some Depeche Mode! But seriously people are people, and people are dumb. As the late great George Carlin once said “There are a lot of stupid motherfuckers out there!”. Well no more stupid than child murderer / fucking scumbag George Zimmerman:

George Zimmerman used his testimony at the trial of a man accused of trying to murder him to say that Black Lives Matter is a “terrorist” group.

The 32-year-old was questioned Wednesday in the case of Matthew Apperson, who admits that he shot at Zimmerman’s truck on the highway last year but claims that the former Florida neighborhood watch volunteer threatened him first.

Apperson’s lawyer Michael Fay has alluded to Zimmerman’s 2012 killing of Trayvon Martin since the alleged victim took the stand on Tuesday.

Zimmerman, who said that he shot the unarmed 17-year-old because he feared for his life, was ultimately acquitted for the shooting during a 2013 trial.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/george-zimmerman-blm-members-terrorists-article-1.2792682


After seeing this, is there any doubt that he murdered Trayvon Martin? By the way I don’t know if you saw this week’s South Park but they took some jabs at the alt-right movement, BLM, and Colin Kaepernick:



So moving on to the next entry in “People Are Dumb” – we have stupid lawsuits. There really isn’t anything I can say for this intro so I’ll just let the story do the talking:

A woman is suing her dildo manufacturer for knowing too much about when and how she uses it.

A few weeks ago, two researchers told the Defcon hacking convention audience that We-Vibe “smart” sex toys send a lot of data about their users back to the company that makes them. According to Courthouse News, one We-Viber took this news hard. A woman known only as “N.P.” filed a class action civil suit in a federal court in Illinois against Standard Innovation, which makes the We Vibe line of sex toys and corresponding app.

The smartphone app lets users “customize” their We-Vibe experience, unlock app-only “bonus” vibration modes such as the “cha-cha-cha” and the “crest,” and “create unlimited custom playlists,” according to the product’s website. In the suit, N.P. says she bought a We-Vibe in May and used it “several times” until she realized that it was sending data about her usage practices back to Standard Innovation’s servers, including when she used it, which vibration settings she used, and her email address.
http://www.vocativ.com/358530/smart-dildo-company-sued-for-tracking-users-habits/


Wait wait wait… back up. You bought a smart phone connected vibrator. You bought a vibrator that works on Bluetooth. And you’re concerned about privacy? Don’t you know that everything we do on smartphones is recorded and tracked? Shit, there’s pleasure devices you can buy that don’t require Bluetooth. I mean what’s next? A French tickler that works by drone? A dildo that whistles “oh come all ye faithful”?



Next in “People Are Dumb”, I give you a guy who inexplicably still thinks he’s relevant, you know this guy:

In a column for WorldNetDaily this week, entertainer and conservative activist Pat Boone declared that “America is abandoning God” and that, as a result, God is lifting “His hand of protection” from the nation, leading us to a presidential election “between two candidates no current majority wants.”

“He knows we’re headed toward financial ruin, escalating internal violence, loss of world leadership, moral corruption and eventual collapse of our government—unless we collectively call Him back into our national life!” Boone wrote.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/pat-boone-war-christmas-causing-god-reject-america


Hey Pat and Bill - you know why we "secular progressives" don't stand up and defend retail stores during the non existent "war on Christmas"? It's called "not giving a shit"!!!! You guys are the ones who started this whole thing, and you're fighting a one sided "war" that nobody cares about but you! You should too - try not giving a shit, it's good for you. You know – if you actually believe there’s a war on Christmas and that we’re losing, and Gawd is the only solution, you’re dumb.




But this might be my favorite story of the week. We go to Tennessee for this one. Before I begin to talk about this story, I am not making light of sexual assault AT ALL. I don’t want to get any complaints because I am making fun of this story. But this right here is the definition of a conservative idiot. Bar none. This is why real sexual assault crimes like Brock Turner aren’t taken seriously, because of fucking morons like this who have to go ruin it for actual victims of sex crimes.

Hibachi chefs at Wasabi restaurant in Murfreesboro have used Wee Wee's antics for years to amuse diners by squirting a little H2O while they juggle their knives and sizzle up onions.

Most people think it’s pretty funny. Isabelle Lassiter isn’t one of them.

Lassiter, her husband, James, and their four children were seated at the hibachi table in the Japanese restaurant Tuesday night when the chef brought out Wee Wee, pulled down his plastic pants and squirted water on her.

Hilarity did not ensue.

Lassiter was offended. In fact, she said, she felt sexually offended. So she called the police, according to NewsChannel5 in Nashville.
http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2016/07/28/woman-alleges-was-sexually-assaulted-by-peeing-toy-in-hibachi-restaurant/


Yeah they went and filed a lawsuit. Because of this toy. This toy!!!!!!!!!



Now here’s where things get as they say batshit fucking crazy. It’s a toy people! You don’t get 911 involved for something like this. The mere stupidity of this is simply mind boggling!

The manager said the man gave her two choices—either refund them for the meal or he would call police and have the business shut down.

He ultimately called 911, telling the dispatcher he isn’t from Tennessee so he wasn’t sure of their protocol about calling the emergency number.

The husband then relayed what happened.

“The chef here that was doing our meal, at the end of the meal pulled out this little freakin’ doll with its pants down and he shot water on my wife out of its d***,” the man told a Murfreesboro police dispatcher.
http://wkrn.com/2016/07/28/man-calls-911-says-wife-was-assaulted-by-toy-at-tenn-hibachi-restaurant/


Did you look at the toy you morons? It has no dick!!! As the late great Alan Rickman said in the movie Dogma “It’s about as anatomically incorrect as a Ken doll.”. But there’s more!

“It was a sexual-style assault on my wife,” said James. “In front of our minor children and grandchildren.”

The officer that took the report found that the description wasn’t totally accurate. “I observed the toy to have no penis and just a hole for the water to shoot out.”

The restaurant’s management said chefs will now ask permission before spraying the guests.

No charges have been filed. Click here to read the full incident report.
http://kxan.com/2016/07/27/texas-woman-claims-urinating-toy-sexually-assaulted-her-at-restaurant/


It was really??? I just… I can’t…. I don’t… the stupid… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!



And Now This:
Dwight Yoakam Covers "Purple Rain"

You know folks, to get the smell of stupid out of the room, before we go this week I have a bonus song for you. You know ever since the tragic death of His Purpleness, Prince Rogers Nelson, back in June, the tributes have just been pouring out. Some have been great, and some have been really shitty. And then there's unique mashups like this. And - surprisingly - a Bluegrass tribute to Prince actually works! Break out your cowbells and get a hoedown going for this one! Yeehaw!





We are off next week, I will be traveling and not have a lot of access to my computer during that time, but we will back on Sunday 9/30 with a brand new edition! See you in two weeks!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #41: Make Mexico Great Again Also Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #41: Make Mexico Great Again Also Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Before we begin let me just check the Top 10 e-mail bag. No, I will not take your survey. No, I will not rate my purchase. No, I will not rate the packaging of my recent purchase at Amazon. But really why such a giant box for such a tiny memory card? No, I will not subscribe to a radio I don’t own. Thank you Sirius. Advertisements for car dealerships nowhere near me. And please stop asking me to go to your sales “events”. Those can all go. Travel specials but only for dates I’m not traveling. And for destinations I have no interest in visiting. Sure, I can take a flight from LAX to Boise for $74, but why would I need to unless I was doing a show there? Those can all go. No I don’t want your promo codes or your Facebook updates. No I am not going to download an update to my e-mail app. No I don’t need to add account verification. Please stop asking for my phone number, and answers to secret questions. No, I don’t want to talk to a sales expert on a product I was just looking at. In short… I got nothing of any importance. We are back ladies and gentlemen! Before we begin, the Top 10 is going to be permanently moving back to Sundays for the time being. How is everyone doing on this fine Sunday morning? Ready for some fun? Ready to hear some jokes about conservatives fucking up in the news? I know I am! Do you want to see some funny video clips of Donald Trump saying something ridiculously stupid? How about hilarious TV show and movie memes? I know that I am! Normally this is where I would show some talk show clip but Bill Maher and John Oliver are both on vacation, Colbert has been putting out some good bits but nothing really. And a couple weeks ago I talked about the passing of the Big Lebowski himself - David Hiddleston. Well, a guy on Youtube has broken down that movie into nothing but the swears. To quote The Stranger - "Do you have to use so many cuss words?" and the answer? Yes!



There’s always that. So where do we begin this week? Well first Donald Trump is going to take up the first four slots. In the first slot we’re going to tell you about a rather shady donation to the Donald Trump foundation made by a Florida representative candidate. And the shit is about to hit the fan. In the second and third slots, he went to Mexico and we are going to recap the insanity of the trip – with Spanish (thanks to Google translator!). In slot number 4 we’re going to talk about some random shit that possible future president Donald J. Trump has been up to including threatening Hillary Clinton and embarassing himself in front our nation's veterans. In the number 5 slot, we’re going to talk about who *IS* supporting Donald Trump – and if you guessed that its’ the KKK, Isis, and Kim Jong Un, you are correct sir / madam! Taking the 6th slot is Maine governor Paul LePage, who’s experiencing the fallout from last week’s voicemail SNAFU and is um, going full Trump. In the number 7 slot we’re going to devote it to a story we were going to discuss prior to the Colin Kapernick situation. We’re going to introduce you to Northern California pastor Jeremy Lucas, who intended to rig a raffle where an AK47 was the grand prize and destroy the gun. But while the reverend had intended to do a good deed, he forgot to go through California’s mandatory background check procedure. D’oh!!! Speaking of crazy pastors, in the number 8 slot the Bathroom Police (8). There is some seriously evil, evil shit going on, but original founding member of the Bathroom Police – Pat McCrory committed an epic fail. At number 9 (NEIN!!!), because it's the 15th anniversary of 9/11 (holy shit it's really been 15 years??? ), we’re going to talk about some extremely poor 9/11 marketing fails - especially coming from a Florida Wal-Mart and a Texas mattress store that attempted to hold a 9/11 sale. Finally this week I hope you guys and gals aren’t scared of clowns. Because we have a potential episode of “The Conjuring” brewing in Greensboro, South Carolina. Specifically for the final entry this week we’re going to talk about the Creepy Clowns Of Greensboro (10). Which coincidentally happens to be the name of my Improv troop! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!



Donald Trump


Quid Pro Quo. That thing you do when you’re stuck trying to find a large sum of money for a guy who you accidentally kidnapped after you got ridiculously wasted last night.



Oh wait, that was The Hangover. So Donald Trump may have committed a blatant act of quid pro quo this week. So Donald Trump’s resort in Florida, the famous Mar-A-Lago that also holds the Donald J. Trump mansion. But let’s go back further to explain. So Florida attorney general Pam Bondi was investigating Trump University’s Florida branch for some possible irregularities. Irregularities involving possible future president Donald J. Trump? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you!

Why is the contribution in the news right now?

Last week, Trump paid a $2,500 penalty to the Internal Revenue Service and refunded his foundation $25,000 from his personal wealth because the Sept. 17, 2013 contribution violated tax laws, the Washington Post reported.

The check came from the Donald J. Trump Foundation, a tax-exempt non-profit barred from contributing to political causes. The check went to And Justice For All, a committee that was the fundraising arm for Bondi’s re-election campaign — and undeniably political in nature.

The donation’s dubious legality was obscured for years because of an accounting error at the Trump Organization, which reported to the IRS that it had given $25,000 to a Kansas anti-abortion group called Justice for All.

“It’s an unfortunate series of coincidences and errors, Trump campaign spokeswoman Hope Hicks told the Herald/Times in March.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/election/donald-trump/article100392257.html#storylink=cpy


So that’s exactly what happened. But how is Trump University involved in this potentially colossal fuck up? So the allegations stem from an alleged investigation into Trump University’s shady business practices in 2013:

Trump denies allegations: Donald Trump is denying any connection between a political contribution benefiting the Florida attorney general and her office's decision to drop an investigation into Trump University, reports USA Today. "She's a fine person beyond reproach," Trump said of Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi, a prominent Trump supporter in an important battleground state. He added that he "never spoke to her" about any investigation.

The Washington Post reported that Trump paid a $2,500 penalty to the IRS because his charitable foundation violated tax laws with a $25,000 donation to a campaign group connected to Bondi. The contribution was made in 2013, when Bondi "was considering whether to investigate fraud allegations against Trump University. She decided not to pursue the case," The Post writes. Both Trump and Bondi have denied any wrongdoing.
http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2016/09/donald_trump_denies_connection.html




So what about what comes next for Trump Univeristy? Guess what? After Bondi dropped the charges against Trump University – he held a fundraiser for her at Mar-A-Lago! D’oh!!!

WASHINGTON ― In March 2014, Donald Trump opened his 126-room Palm Beach resort, Mar-a-Lago, for a $3,000-per-person fundraiser for Pam Bondi, the Florida attorney general who had recently decided not to investigate Trump University and was facing a tough re-election campaign.

Trump, whose personal foundation had given $25,000 to a pro-Bondi group the previous fall, did not write a check to the attorney general that night. But by hosting her at Mar-a-Lago and bringing in some of his own high-profile Florida contacts, he provided her campaign with a nice financial boost.

Trump has claimed that Bondi was merely a candidate he knew well and supported politically. But his fundraising efforts were extensive: In addition to the $25,000 donation, Trump and his daughter Ivanka gave $500 each to Bondi in the fall of 2013. The following year, Ivanka and her father donated a total of $125,000 to the Republican Party of Florida.

All this monetary effort could suggest that Donald Trump was thanking Bondi for not probing his failed seminar program. His efforts to boost her politically came during and after a period when she was being publicly pressed to investigate claims that get-rich-quick seminars bearing his name were defrauding participants.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-pam-bondi-trump-university_us_57cf2c6ce4b0a48094a64854




What’s the consequences of this? What could this mean for possible future president Donald J. Trump?

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi has finally started to get some attention for the cash she personally “requested” from Donald Trump, the fat check which landed in Florida just in time to cause the state’s version of the Trump University lawsuit to conveniently go away, and the peachy-keen “thanks for not filing a lawsuit” prom Donald threw for her. If it’s not an obvious instance of bribery, it certainly appears to be.

But as it turns out, this is far from the only time Bondi was paid to look away.

Attorneys general are supposed to be crusaders of justice: men and women who aren't afraid to step on toes, take on tough cases and make the bad guys pay.

... the only thing the bad guys are paying is the tab. ...
http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/9/7/1567533/-For-Pam-Bondi-pay-to-look-away-was-about-more-than-Donald-Trump




And then there’s possible talk of a full FBI investigation into this mess:

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/news-columns-blogs/fred-grimm/article82563867.html

And worse still. The donation — from Trump’s Section 501©(3) charitable foundation — was illegal. And never reported to the IRS. Tax-exempt charitable foundations are prohibited from engaging in political activity. That’s for Trump and the IRS to work out. But how the hell could a prohibited transgression like that go unremarked for nearly three years by its recipient, Florida’s chief legal officer? How was it that the very attorney general failed to check the provenance of her $25,000 donation?

Which only adds another sleazy chapter to Bondi’s history of bent ethics. In 2014, The New York Times reported that a Washington lobbying firm specializing in influencing state attorneys general had lavished considerable attention on Bondi, showering her with gifts, exotic junkets and campaign contributions. Meanwhile the Florida Attorney General’s Office lost interest in pursuing fraud allegations dogging the firm’s various clients.





Donald Trump


Before we begin this entry, a disclaimer. Since Donald Trump went to Mexico, we are going to offer our usual nonsense memes featuring possible future president Donald J. Trump in Spanish. And thanks to the Fake Trump Tweet generator, we can literally make him say anything in any language, like this:



Translation: “Hey, people of Mexico, you are stupid losers! You will pay for the wall, vote for me, and you will like it! #vivaUSA”

Second, there’s a Latino-owned in Illinois called the 5 Rabbit Cerveceria. They were originally tapped to brew the official beer for Chicago’s Trump Tower. But they have since changed the name. Can we show that?



Literally translated that means “fuck your hair”. Now back to our originally scheduled entry. Mexico. That country that Donald Trump loves to make fun of. So we have to talk about Donald Trump’s ill timed and ill fated visit to Mexico City, which as you can guess might be the most Donald Trump thing he has pulled in the campaign to date.

Donald J. Trump will visit Mexico on Wednesday for a private meeting with President Enrique Peña Nieto — a trip that will take him to a nation he has repeatedly scorned — before quickly flying back for what is billed as a major immigration speech in Arizona.

The Mexican president’s office said Mr. Peña Nieto had sent invitations last week to both Mr. Trump and Hillary Clinton. The negotiations for both trips were first reported by The Washington Post. Mrs. Clinton’s campaign would not comment Tuesday on whether she had received the invitation.

Mr. Peña Nieto is reaching out to Mr. Trump in the face of the Republican candidate’s antagonistic attitude toward Mexico in his policies and campaign rallies. He has said many Mexican immigrants who enter the United States illegally are rapists, and he has repeatedly insisted that Mexico will pay for his proposed wall along the southern United States border.

He is widely reviled in Mexico, where the wall proposal has revived deep grievances over sovereignty and respect that have historically dogged Mexico’s relationship with the United States.

Read more: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/08/31/us/politics/donald-trump-mexico-enrique-pena-nieto.html




And that’s not the only thing that he did down there. Can we show that tape?



And like a good republican, Donald Trump met with Mexican President Nieto, but of course – refused to disclose what they talked about.

Donald Trump and Mexico's Peña Nieto meet but don't discuss who would pay for a border wall

Noah Bierman, Tracy Wilkinson and Kate Linthicum

Donald Trump showcased his flair for the dramatic spectacle again Wednesday, flying his unpredictable campaign across the southern border for a hastily arranged summit with the president of a country he has repeatedly maligned.

The move was stunning for a nominee whose presidential run began with harsh denunciations of Mexicans, whom he called “rapists” when he announced his candidacy, and whose slogan-ready pledge to build a border wall includes the improbable idea that Mexico will pay for it.

Trump and Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto had a cordial but frank discussion for about an hour at the presidential residence. The men said they did not discuss whether Mexico would pay for a wall along the countries’ shared border, a core campaign promise of the Republican presidential nominee. But Peña Nieto pointedly vowed to protect Mexican nationals living in the U.S. who contribute to prosperity and “deserve the respect of everyone.”...............................

Read more: http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-trump-mexico-visit-20160831-snap-story.html






Also in case you were wondering if Donald Trump’s infamous “Make America Great Again” hat would make an appearance, well he changed it. Can we throw that up there?



Just when you thought the Trump campaign couldn’t get more strange, the Republican nominee found a way to make his camp out-weird itself with “Make Mexico Great Again Also” hats.

Whether you’re scratching your head because Donald Trump, the candidate who has built his campaign on slamming Mexico, is now suddenly interested in its prosperity or the odd phrasing of the hat, there’s consensus that this ish is bonkers.

The hats made their debut on Wednesday, when former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani and Arizona Sen. Jeff Sessions wore the cap while speaking in Phoenix, Arizona, where the presidential candidate gave his much-anticipated speech on immigration following his return from Mexico.

According to the campaign, it was Trump behind the hat, too.
http://www.latina.com/lifestyle/politics/donald-trump-behind-make-mexico-great-again-also-hats


I love that he included the “also”. And then in true Donald J. Trump fashion - he got fact checked by President Nieto right to his face, and he didn’t even flinch!

Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto told Donald Trump during their private meeting today that Mexico would not pay for Trump’s proposed 2,000-mile barrier along the US-Mexico border, according to his Twitter feed.

Translation: “At the beginning of the conversation with Donald Trump
I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall.”

Peña Nieto followed up, declaring that “From there, the conversation addressed other issues, and followed in a respectful manner.”

MORE:
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2016/aug/31/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-mexico-us-election-livedonald-trump-hillary-clinton-mexico-us-election-live







Donald Trump


We’re still not done with the insanity surrounding Donald Trump’s visit to Mexico. Oh no, mi amigos. There is plenty more to cover and there’s a lot of batshit crazy stuff out there.

In a new interview with ABC News, Donald Trump's recollection appears to differ with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto's account of their meeting last week when it comes to a key subject: Whether Peña Nieto actually said that Mexico wouldn't pay for Trump's proposed border wall.

Trump had said at a press conference following the meeting that the two had not discussed Trump's campaign promise that Mexico would pay for the wall between the United States and his country.

But shortly after the meeting, Peña Nieto's spokesman clarified and Peña Nieto himself tweeted that he had, in fact, brought up the wall and had told Trump in no uncertain terms that Mexico would not be paying for it.

Trump's comments Monday also notably contradict what his top backer, Rudy Giuliani, said about the meeting last week. Giuliani said that Peña Nieto didn't bring it up at the start of the meeting, but that he mentioned payment for the wall.

Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/donald-trump-appears-to-contradict-mexican-president-on-not-paying-for-wall-%E2%80%98he-didn%E2%80%99t-say-that%E2%80%99/ar-AAiAdet




And of course Trump’s Mexico speech isn’t really a speech until it’s put in song form:




And in case you were wondering just about how hypocritical Donald Trump is when it comes to his own hard-lined immigration policy, the Washington Post spells it out for you in very easy to understand terms:

A MONTH ago, Donald Trump and officials in his campaign assured voters they would organize a news conference to clear up questions about the legal means by which his Slovenian-born wife, Melania, entered the country in the mid-1990s and obtained a green card several years before they were married in 2005. Those questions persist, the Trump campaign has refused to answer them, and no such news conference has occurred.

Ms. Trump insists she violated no immigration laws; that may prove to be the case. Yet her own sketchy and not-quite-consistent account of her initial immigration status, along with the publication of nude modeling photos of her taken in New York the year before she says she entered the country, have combined to stoke doubts that she played entirely by the rules.

If she didn’t, some sympathy may be in order. U.S. immigration laws are so abstruse, so dysfunctional and so out of step with the demands of the American labor market that — well, it’s no accident that 11 million people live in this country without proper documentation, and that many or most of them have been here for 15 years or longer.

Less sympathy would be due Mr. Trump, who, having built his campaign around vilifying illegal immigrants, looks like a Grand Wizard of Hypocrisy. And having spent months as the most prominent exponent of the detestable “birther” movement, badgering the president to release his plainly valid and unexceptional birth certificate, the Republican presidential nominee now can’t be bothered to come clean on legitimate questions about the terms under which his wife entered the country and remained here.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/donald-trumps-immigration-hypocrisy/2016/09/06/270b1b0c-746d-11e6-be4f-3f42f2e5a49e_story.html?utm_term=.dc9961e0affb&wpisrc=nl_headlines&wpmm=1




But alas, Donald Trump is not flip flopping to the contrary:

WASHINGTON — Republican Donald Trump insists that he's not flip-flopping when it comes to his proposal to deport the estimated 11 million people living in the United States illegally — even though his new campaign manager now says his stance is "to be determined."

Trump said in an interview with Fox & Friends on Monday that he's "not flip-flopping," but wants to come up with "a really fair, but firm" solution.

Trump had previously proposed using a "deportation force" to remove the 11 million people living in the United States illegally— a proposal that excited many of his core supporters, but alienated Hispanic voters who could be pivotal in key states. Republican leaders fear that Trump can't win — and could drag down GOP congressional candidates — if he doesn't increase his support beyond his white, male base.

Trump met Saturday with Hispanic supporters, representatives of a community that has been wary of the billionaire businessman's deportation proposals and his plans to build a giant wall on the U.S.-Mexico border. Questioned on whether Trump still intends to deploy the deportation force, campaign manager Kellyanne Conway said Sunday: "To be determined."

Read more: http://www.sunjournal.com/news/0001/11/30/donald-trump-says-hes-not-flip-flopping-immigration/1980350#comments


But have you seen his new scary attack ad? Let’s show that, shall we?



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Here’s the backstory:

He released a new ad on Friday that, like his speeches, paints foreign nationals coming to the U.S. as terrorist threats and criminals. It is his first ad of the general election against Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

“In Hillary Clinton’s America, the system stays rigged against Americans,” a voiceover says. “Syrian refugees flood in. Illegal immigrants convicted of committing crimes get to stay, collecting Social Security benefits, skipping the line. Our border open. It’s more of the same, but worse.”

“Donald Trump’s America is secure,” the voiceover continues. “Terrorists and dangerous criminals kept out. The border secure. Our families safe. Change that makes America safe again.”

The statement that the system is rigged is paired with an image of people in line to vote, with the text “system rigged” appearing next to a black woman. Trump has previously said the election may be rigged and has called for volunteers to monitor certain polling places.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-ad-refugees-immigrants_us_57b71820e4b0b51733a2e7f4?section=&





Donald Trump


So for this entry we are going to talk about possible future president Donald J. Trump and his on again, off again relationship with a little thing called “media”. Particularly that of endorsements he’s *NOT* getting! But first I love this story – taking a page from Seinfeld, he gave a speech on foreign policy – in front of a group of veterans, and in true Donald J. Trump fashion, literally went “yada yada” on the Iraq War, which the media is doing a terrific job of pretending that it doesn’t exist.

It was classic Trump: despite a friendly moderator, softball questions and an adoring crowd the Republican nominee bungled a national security Q&A Tuesday, just one day before a primetime special on some of the same topics.

After supporter and retired general Mike Flynn asked carefully crafted questions, Trump delivered incoherent answers, non-sequiturs and straight-up untruths as he tried to explain what he would do as commander-in-chief if elected.

Trump’s biggest advantage has been rhetoric: big promises—even unrealistic ones—without any specifics or any reasonable ways to accomplish them.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/06/trump-stumbles-and-lies-his-way-through-vets-town-hall.html


And this was in front of a group of veterans!!!!!



So in case you were wondering if that little yada yada of 100+ years of history and turmoil between Iraq and Iran in front of our nation’s veterans won him any votes, if you guessed zero, you are correct sir / madam!

http://bipartisanreport.com/2016/09/01/breaking-four-star-army-generals-defiantly-make-first-presidential-endorsement-of-their-careers/

Two retired four-star U.S. Army generals stepped up on Thursday morning and endorsed the Democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton. Although both Gens. David Maddox and Bob Sennewald say they have never endorsed a political candidate before, they both felt compelled to speak out this election cycle.

The two issued a joint statement to the press, saying:

‘Having each served over 34 years and retired as an Army four-star general, we each have worked closely with America’s strongest allies, both in NATO and throughout Asia.

‘Our votes have always been private, and neither of us has ever previously lent his name or voice to a presidential candidate. Having studied what is at stake for this country and the alternatives we have now, we see only one viable leader, and will be voting this November for Secretary Hillary Clinton.’




And there's more - apparently he told a crowd in Florida that Hillary Clinton could "shoot someone and it wouldn't affect her poll numbers. Gee... where have I heard that before?

PENSACOLA, Fla. — Donald J. Trump, in escalating attacks against Hillary Clinton, suggested on Friday that his opponent was so immune to prosecution that she could shoot someone in front of thousands of witnesses and not be prosecuted.

“She is being so protected,” Mr. Trump, the Republican presidential candidate, said to a crowd of more than 10,000 at an evening rally here. “She could walk into this arena right now and shoot somebody with 20,000 people watching, right smack in the middle of the heart, and she wouldn’t be prosecuted. O.K.? That’s what’s happening.”

Mr. Trump’s comments followed an extended, and at times vicious and unscripted, criticism of Mrs. Clinton, the Democratic presidential candidate, whom he called “an unstable person.” He repeatedly criticized the decision not to prosecute her over her email scandal, and also her record as secretary of state.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/10/us/politics/donald-trump-rally.html?_r=0




Oh and last week we covered the Colin Kaepernick situation ad nauseum, but did you know he is a bonafied Trump supporter?

At his news conference about 2 weeks ago, essentially stated the “We have a Presidential Candidate who deleted emails and did other illegal things.. if it were any other person, you’d be in jail”

I support his cause immensely, however he took the Trump Lies pushed by MSM and ate them whole..
I wonder how many of the millions who saw his quick rant to the press were influenced to move towards Trump..

I still get sick every time I see that Clip...Essential Colin perpetuated the narrative that Clinton is a crook which certainly will continue to help a huge racist in his quest to become president..

http://thebiglead.com/2016/08/28/colin-kaepernick-hillary-clinton-donald-trump/





By the way – Donald Trump is always going about people who are the best and the greatest, and you know who thinks he could take on Donald Trump? Why it’s former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura!

If it were up to Jesse Ventura, marijuana would be legal, Gary Johnson would be president and the United States would abandon the two-party system.

Oh, and American media companies would act more like Russia’s.

That’s just some of what the former Minnesota governor, ex-professional wrestler and author told Yahoo News in a wide-ranging interview on Thursday.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/jesse-ventura-gary-johnson-trump-clinton-putin-201929441.html


Switching Donald Trump with Jesse Ventura this late in the game would be certifiably batshit insane. It would be like putting Bentley decals on your 2006 Chrysler 300. You can dress it up all you want, but it still doesn't change the fact that you're driving a fucking 2006 Chrysler 300!






Donald Trump Supporters


You know what they say about judging a person by the company they keep. Well while we’ve already gone over who’s *NOT* supporting Donald Trump, I am going to use this entry to very briefly talk about who *IS* supporting Donald Trump. Behind Door #1, of course frequent viewers of the Top 10 will know this one – David Duke!

White supremacist and former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke announced a run for U.S. Senate in Louisiana in a web video today, linking his campaign to the message of Donald Trump’s presidential bid.

“I was the first major candidate in modern times to promote the term and policy of ‘America First,’” Duke said. “We cannot have free trade without fair trade.”

“I’m overjoyed to see Donald Trump and most Americans embrace most of the issues I’ve championed for years,” he said. ”I’ve always opposed these wars that lead our nation to disaster.”

Duke endorsed Trump's presidential run in February, and called on supporters to help the New York developer's White House campaign.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/white-supremacist-david-duke-announces-us-senate-run/story?id=40803322





Behind door #2: Kim Jong Un!!!

A North Korean state media outlet has praised Donald Trump as a “wise politician” and “far-sighted candidate” who can reunify the Korean peninsula.

The DPRK Today editorial welcomed the presumptive Republican nominee’s willingness to talk to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, NKNews.org reports, saying Trump could help bring about an end to the isolated country’s “Yankee go home” policy of hostility with the U.S.

“In my personal opinion, there are many positive aspects to the Trump’s ‘inflammatory policies’” Han Yong Mook, who describes himself as a Chinese North Korean scholar, wrote in the editorial. “Trump said ‘he will not get involved in the war between the South and the North,’ isn’t this fortunate from North Koreans’ perspective?”

The editorial also urged Americans to not vote for the “dull Hillary” Clinton.
http://time.com/4352135/north-korea-donald-trump-kim-jong-un/


Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There it is! So North Korea is saying that Donald Trump is exciting and Hillary Clinton is dull. Just…. Wow!



And behind door #3 – Isis.

Donald Trump has been campaigning on a promise to eradicate the Islamic State (also known as ISIS). The Republican presidential nominee regularly makes belligerent statements such as “I would bomb the shit out of . . . those suckers” and “We have to knock the hell out of them.” He has said that he would send up to 30,000 more U.S. troops to fight ISIS and refuses to rule out the possibility of using nuclear weapons against the group. One might expect ISIS to view his candidacy with apprehension. However, interviews with ISIS supporters and recent defectors suggest just the opposite: jihadists are rooting for a Trump presidency because they believe that he will lead the United States on a path to self-destruction. Last week, an ISIS spokesman wrote on the ISIS-affiliated Telegram channel, Nashir, “I ask Allah to deliver America to Trump.” Meanwhile, an ISIS supporter posted on one of the numerous jihadist “channels” hosted by the Telegram messaging application, “The ‘facilitation’ of Trump’s arrival in the White House must be a priority for jihadists at any cost!!!”
https://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/2016-08-24/why-isis-rooting-trump-0





So Donald are you going to say something nice about these guys? Or are you going to treat them like mosquitoes?




Paul LePage


So last week we talked about Paul LePage – the original “People Who Somehow Got Elected” – how he called a guy a “cocksucker” on a voicemail message, and the subsequent forced PR authored apology that followed. Well, as you can imagine this hasn’t ended well and we haven’t heard the last of it. So here’s what has happened in the wake of the disaster that could have seen the governor step down from office. Oh wait – he’s not doing that!

Facing pressure to resign after comments many called racist and a profanity-laced voicemail left for Democratic Rep. Drew Gattine, Maine Gov. Paul LePage told reporters today he will not be resigning and will be seeking spiritual guidance.

“We always have been a family of faith and we recognize that the grace and guidance from God can make us stronger in life,” LePage said in a statement following a meeting with Gattine.

LePage and Gattine met for less than 10 minutes this morning at the governor's office, in an attempt for the governor to make amends.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/maine-gov-paul-lepage-resigning-voicemail-rant/story?id=41770164




Yeah get that weak stuff outta here! No apologizing from one of the most batshit crazy people who’s ever been a governor of a state. And this guy got elected! He is serving office! And in case you were wondering if he was done with the racist bullshit, he isn’t! In fact he doubled down and went after Donald Trump’s favorite punching bag – Khzir Khan:

AUGUSTA — Gov. Paul LePage says the father of a deceased Muslim captain in the U.S. Army is a "con artist" for criticizing Donald Trump.

LePage, a Republican, made the comments on Wednesday during an appearance on a program hosted by Boston radio host Howie Carr.

LePage's comments referenced Khizr Khan, whose son died while protecting other soldiers in Iraq. Khan made an appearance at the Democratic National Convention in which he was critical of Trump, the Republican nominee.

LePage, in his second term as governor, is a supporter of Trump. His daughter Lauren LePage has been hired by Trump and vice presidential candidate Mike Pence to work as the state's coalitions director.

Read more: http://www.sunjournal.com/news/0001/11/30/gov-paul-lepage-calls-khizr-khan-con-artist-radio/1982556




But wait – there is more to this insanity in case you were wondering:

Drew Gattine’s career in politics started with a voice mail.

It was the early 2000s, and the voice on the answering machine was Westbrook City Council President Brendan Rielly.

Gattine and his wife, Elizabeth, had appeared before the City Council to voice their concern about a zoning issue, and the young couple’s respectful and constructive manner had impressed Rielly.

“I said, ‘Look, I’m calling for both of you. Would either one of you want to run for council?’ ” Rielly recalled.

http://www.pressherald.com/2016/09/05/propelled-by-lepage-voice-mail-quiet-lawmaker-becomes-talk-of-the-state/


That’s right! It boosted the career of the guy who LePage called a “cocksucker” in the first place. But in case you were wondering – Gattine is the guy who challenged LePage to prove he’s not racist. LePage isn’t racist – he’s just an equal opportunity offender!

Gov. Paul LePage left a state lawmaker from Westbrook an expletive-laden phone message Thursday in which he accused the legislator of calling him a racist, encouraged him to make the message public and said, “I’m after you.”

LePage sent the message Thursday morning after a television reporter appeared to suggest that Democratic Rep. Drew Gattine was among several people who had called the governor a racist, which Gattine later denied. The exchange followed remarks the governor made in North Berwick on Wednesday night about the racial makeup of suspects arrested on drug trafficking charges in Maine.

“Mr. Gattine, this is Gov. Paul Richard LePage,” a recording of the governor’s phone message says. “I would like to talk to you about your comments about my being a racist, you (expletive). I want to talk to you. I want you to prove that I’m a racist. I’ve spent my life helping black people and you little son-of-a-bitch, socialist (expletive). You … I need you to, just friggin. I want you to record this and make it public because I am after you. Thank you.”
http://www.pressherald.com/2016/08/26/prove-im-a-racist-lepage-challenges-westbrook-legislator-in-obscenity-laced-voice-mail/




So let’s fact check Mr. LePage to see if he’s right or wrong on everything he’s saying about race and drug trafficking, shall we?

No law enforcement statistics even come close to backing up Republican Gov. Paul LePage's assertion that blacks and Hispanics account for "90-plus percent" of heroin-trafficking arrests in Maine.

LePage, who previously told the Portland NAACP chapter to "kiss my butt" and blamed out-of-state drug dealers for impregnating "young white" girls, sparked another racial uproar when he said Aug. 24 that data he'd collected indicates out-of-state black and Hispanics accounted for "90-plus percent" of heroin-trafficking arrests in Maine.

FBI data contradict his assertion, and a criminologist called the governor's data "laughable." Meanwhile, members of the African-American community in Maine, the whitest state, fear his comments strengthen racial stereotypes and tacitly approve of racial profiling.

"I think this fear-mongering, and these us-against-them kind of statements, do not advance the community conversation, do not address the real issue of drug abuse," said the Rev. Kenneth I. Lewis Jr., pastor at the Green Memorial A.M.E. Church, Maine's oldest African-American congregation, in Portland.

http://www.necn.com/news/politics/Maine-Gov-Paul-LePages-Stats-on-Drug-Trafficking-Race-Dont-Line-Up-392345081.html




And you know folks – the GOP has a weird obsession with war. They love war, they can’t get enough of it. LePage loves to talk about war and make it look like he’s fighting in a war. But he really isn’t, he’s no more of a warrior than you or I am, and judging by his, um, physique, I am guessing that he’s not ready for battle any time soon.

Gov. Paul LePage used the familiar metaphor of war Friday to describe Maine’s efforts to curb drug addiction, but he once again framed the battle in racial terms and effectively endorsed racial profiling of suspected drug dealers.

Also Friday, leading state Democrats called on the governor to resign or seek professional help, a day after he left a profanity-laced message on the phone of a Westbrook legislator.

In a State House press conference, the governor restated previous comments about the numbers of black and Hispanic drug dealers who are bringing heroin into Maine and likened them to the enemy in a war.

“Look, the bad guy is the bad guy, I don’t care what color he is,” LePage said. “When you go to war, if you know the enemy and the enemy dresses in red and you dress in blue, then you shoot at red.”
http://www.pressherald.com/2016/08/26/house-democrats-condemn-lepage-attack-on-westbrook-legislator/




Love that bit.


Jeremy Lucas


So this is the story I promised last week that we would report on this week. For this story we go to Northern California. You know thanks to America’s insane gun culture, where it’s easier to buy an assault rifle than it is to buy a smartphone, one reverend in Stockton, California attempted to do what he thought was a good deed by buying up as many raffle tickets as he could in order to rig a contest designed to give away an AK47, and the Pastor had destroyed it purposefully, which ignited the internet outrage machine, and the Rev. got death threats on social media of course. Because… death threats. Here’s the story as it was originally reported:

The Rev. Jeremy Lucas had just returned to Oregon from a family vacation back home to Alabama — the Deep South state where he was first introduced to guns and where, as a kid, he learned to shoot a rifle — when he pulled out his phone and started scrolling.

It had been just days since the deadly mass shooting in Dallas that left five police officers dead and seven wounded. They were targeted by a black man with three guns, including an assault rifle, while working a Black Lives Matter protest. That same week, two black men, Philando Castile and Alton Sterling, were shot and killed by police, the incidents captured on video and circulated worldwide. Only one month earlier, 49 people were killed in the country’s deadliest mass shooting, at an Orlando gay nightclub.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/07/28/why-this-pastor-spent-3000-in-church-funds-to-win-a-raffle-with-an-ar-15-as-the-prize/




It starts out innocently enough right? Well here’s what happened next.

Previously, we brought you a story about a caring priest in California who decided to buy out a large number of raffle tickets in order to win an AR-15 rifle, but rather than using it for sport or protection (or murder), the priest planned to destroy the gun and use it as an art piece in order to raise awareness about gun violence in America.

The raffle was a part of a girls’ softball team fundraising event, attempting to raise money for a trip to the regional playoffs. First, the priest tried to front the entire cost of the trip so the team would cancel the raffle, but he was told they wouldn’t because they had already sold the tickets. As a result, Rev. Lucas used $3,000 of his church’s cash to buy raffle tickets and ensure his victory.

Considering that if he won, the gun was his property to do with as he pleased, it is disturbing to bring you the follow-up to this story, which is that the priest began receiving threats of violence once his story got out in his town.
http://trofire.com/2016/08/17/destroying-gun-takes-turn-gun-nuts-priest-despicable/




Yeah death threats. Stay classy, social media. Well while we here at the Top 10 don’t condone or encourage anyone to leave a death threat for anyone – whether or not you don’t agree with someone. But this where you need to dig a little deeper in the headlines because this pastor while he had intended to do a good deed, didn’t complete the deed.

The Reverend told The Washington Post that he and his wife then brought the rifle to the home of a parishioner who would keep the rifle in his safe until they could have it destroyed. And that’s where police are now looking into a crime.

By not performing a background check when leaving the rifle with his congregation member, Lucas violated the very gun control laws he claims are too lax in the nation. His local police department has turned the case over to the Oregon State Police and they are currently deciding whether to file charges.
http://controversialtimes.com/issues/constitutional-rights/anti-gun-pastor-rigs-ar-15-raffle-it-backfires-big-time-now-the-police-are-involved/





The Bathroom Police


So the bathroom police are back people. And there’s some good stuff and some bad stuff to tell you about. First let’s get the bad stuff out of the way before we get into a story that I have been literally waiting all week to post here. But first some bad – a transgender male in Georgia was denied a name change request:

An LGBT rights group is asking an appeals court to step in after a Georgia judge declined a legal name change for a second transgender man.

Lambda Legal says it filed an appeal Thursday of a June order by Columbia County Superior Court Judge J. David Roper rejecting a petition from the 21-year-old transgender man seeking to legally change his name to Andrew Baumert.

Lambda Legal in June appealed a similar March ruling from Roper in the case of another transgender man, Rowan Feldhaus, whose birth name was Rebeccah Elizabeth Feldhaus.

Lambda Legal says in both cases Roper said he would allow a transgender person to choose a gender-neutral name. But he said allowing a transgender man to choose a male name would "confuse or mislead the general public."
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/lgbt-rights-group-appeals-denial-transgender-change-41956858


You know if this judge is denying this man’s name change because of the judge’s supposed “Christian values” are getting in the way of him doing his job, then shouldn’t he be removed from the bench?



And there’s absolutely nothing funny about the next story but I feel I must make this horrifying crime known:

Just after midnight, Hadway, a “drag king” known as “Parker Perry,” was loading up her gear after a benefit show at the Fourth Avenue Tavern. After a transgendered friend was heckled and Hadway’s own wife, Angela, was threatened, Hadway stepped in.

Hadway recalled saying, “I was like ‘hey can we just leave this alone?’"

She then told a man approaching her that she was a woman dressed like a man.
http://komonews.com/news/local/drag-king-says-she-was-attacked-near-olympia-tavern-sunday


Holy fucking shit!



And then a Harlem reverend known for being violently anti-LGBT is planning on a rainbow flag burning ceremony:

HARLEM, NY. - Reverend James Manning of the ATLAH World Missionary Church in New York is using an old form of protest to "celebrate" yet another delay in the ongoing battle to keep his conservative and anti-LGBT church from closing.

The marquee outside the historic church invites the public to come witness the desecration-by-burning of the “rainbow fag flag," on a date yet to be announced.

This is in celebration to a recent decision by the New York courts to postpone a bankruptcy auction.
http://sdgln.com/news/2016/09/03/harlem-preacher-will-burn-rainbow-fag-flag-celebration


Yes this is the same Rev. Manning who is a close personal friend of Alex Jones. Who has been a vocal supporter of possible future president Donald J. Trump.



And we must, must make mention of how just plain fucking evil Subway’s Jared Fogle is – who is resorting to the classic technique of victim blaming:

Former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle is planning to sue the parents of one of the young girls he was convicted of abusing.

Fogle, 39, is claiming that the parents of one of his victims are partly responsible for her abuse, according to a report in TMZ.

He now thinks the family should accept partial responsibility.

The suit, which names the victim as Jane Doe, says her parents fought often and abused alcohol in front of her. This subsequently led her to engage in “destructive behavior”, including self-harm and drug abuse, and ultimately resulted in her being abused.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/01/jared-fogle-subway-spokesman-abuse-lawsuit


Yeah blame the victims for your own horrifying crimes. Way to go Jared! Bravo, well done!


Yeah that will be Jared in 50 years.

And in case you were wondering how crazy and insane the Bathroom Police are, check out this story of a California mom posting about getting confronted by a douchebag because her son was wearing a tutu in public:

A mother’s post about her son’s right to wear a tutu has gone viral.

Jen Anderson Shattuck posted a photo on Facebook of her 3-year-old son wearing a tutu after a man accosted her when they were on their way to a park on Tuesday, Aug. 23.

Shattuck wrote that her son, Roo, loves trucks and jigsaw puzzles but also likes wearing tutus. He’s worn tutus to the grocery store, on the train and in the sandbox.
http://www.newsday.com/news/nation/jen-anderson-shattuck-s-photo-of-son-in-tutu-goes-viral-after-they-were-accosted-1.12239286


For that douchebag:


But some good news in the war on bathrooms – I don’t want you guys and gals to think this show is just about negativity, no good sir / madam! I love this story and I have been waiting literally all week to post it, so here it goes. So Governor Pat McCrory, the original idiot who jumpstarted the bathroom police, apparently has a problem that he has refused to disclose until now. This is after he posts a new campaign ad in which he attacks trans people:

North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory is once again attacking transgender people to further his political career.

On Wednesday, McCrory, who is currently up for reelection, put out an ad defending his support for HB 2, the discriminatory anti-LGBT ‘bathroom bill’ that banned all local civil rights ordinances in the Tar Heel state.

The ad called “Common Sense” opens with a title card that reads, “The truth about privacy.”
http://www.towleroad.com/2016/09/pat-mccrory-transphobia/


And here’s the ad if you can stomach it:



You know Pat, don’t fucking deny a group of people their basic right to use the bathroom they need to use, OK? How’s that for common sense!!!



But here’s the story I love:

http://www.huffpost.com/us/entry/11759952

A spokesman for North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory said the governor would not release his birth certificate in response to a report that said his gender was left blank on his birth certificate when he was born nearly sixty years ago.

“The governor’s birth certificate is a private and not a political matter,” I.M. Flack, McCrory’s press secretary, said Monday.

McCrory also refused to answer questions about his birth certificate as he campaigned for re-election. Nevertheless, he continued to defend the state’s HB2 law that requires transgender people to use bathrooms responding to the gender on their birth certificate and not the gender they identify with.




And remember for every time the fundies feel the need to harass innocent trans people like what I reported about earlier I said I would post a sex crime committed by them? Well they left me with no shortage of material:
A Georgia pastor and and conservative political activist was arrested Friday morning on charges of child molestation and aggravated child molestation. Ken Adkins, 56, of St. Simons Island turned himself into police at about 9 a.m., according to officials with Georgia Bureau of Investigation. GBI was requested on Aug. 12 to assist officials with the accusations against Adkins. Adkins is currently in the Glynn County Jail. The investigation is ongoing. Adkins has one church with locations in Brunswick, Jacksonville and Atlanta, according to his website. Adkins recently came under fire when he tweeted “homosexuals got what they deserved” after the deadly mass shooting at Pulse Nightclub. His Twitter account has been set to private..
http://www.joemygod.com/2016/08/26/georgia-pastor-who-said-pulse-massacre-victims-got-what-they-deserved-arrested-for-child-molestation/




And here's one where a priest sexually assaulted a 16 year old girl, the family pressed charges, and the church stood by the motherfucker!!! Seriously, fuck these people! And I would like to tell them where they can shove their morals and values after reading this story. And they seriously want to judge us about what they think is moral and what isn't? These are the people going into Target bathrooms with AK47s because a sex crime might take place? And then an actual sex crime takes place and they literally look the other way!! I just can't... I don't... what the fuck!!!



http://addictinginfo.org/2016/09/09/youth-pastor-rapes-teen-girl-and-church-demands-she-apologize-to-her-rapists-wife/

Columbia Road Baptist Church in North Olmsted actually banned a teenage girl and her family from attending services until she apologizes to the wife of the man who sexually abused her.

Youth pastor Brian Mitchell had a wife and three kids, but that didn’t stop him from targeting a 16-year-old girl who was simply seeking spiritual guidance at the church....

What’s also delusional is that the Columbia Road Baptist Church actually thinks the teenage girl their employee raped somehow owes Mitchell’s wife an apology.

During testimony, the girl’s mother revealed that the church basically blamed her daughter for the whole situation and told them not to come back to the church until an apology has been made. Rather than comply with the ridiculous demand, the family just stopped attending church altogether.





9/11 Marketing Fails




Well it’s 9/11. Or 7/11 as Donald Trump called it. But since today is 9/11, you know there are going to be some extremely tacky memorials dedicated to the 9/11/01 tragedy. And while we won’t make fun of it here, we will show this - none so far will be able to top this display from a Wal-Mart in where else……… Florida. Can we show that?



As if there was any doubt, trying to profit off of the worst terrorist attack in American history is not a good idea. The latest example comes to us from Walmart, with a 9/11 display that gets everything wrong.

One of the megastore’s outlets in Florida somehow thought it would be a good idea to set up a Coke display using two columns of Coke Zero boxes to represent the Twin Towers. In the background are red, white and blue boxes of other Coke products (Coke, Diet Coke and Dasani bottled water) meant to look like the American flag. Above all of this is a sign that reads “We Will Never Forget.” With a photo showing the skyline over New York City.

“We stopped and stared at it like, oh my god,” Richard Shawn, a Walmart customer who took picture, told BuzzFeed. “Nobody seemed to be noticing it, it wasn’t very crowded, and I got the feeling that it had just been assembled. So we took some pics and went on our way.”
https://www.good.is/articles/walmart-911-display-gone-wrong-florida




And for even more extremely poor taste when it comes to 9/11 we go to Texas for this one. Ever hear of a mattress store called "Miracle Mattress"? Well you won't anymore because they held a 9/11 sale that sparked a social media outrage furor.

It’s been 15 years since the September 11, 2001 attacks, but a commercial from a San Antonio mattress store may prove it’s still “too soon.” As part of its “Twin Towers sale,” Miracle Mattress offered to sell any sized mattress for the price of a twin.

A commercial showing Miracle Mattress manager Cherise Bonanno standing in front of two other employees in front of stacks of mattresses relies heavily on Twin Tower references. This marketing tactic blew up in the face of the store and forced them to issue an apology.
https://www.rt.com/usa/358739-tv-commercial-911-mattress-sale/


And here is the commercial in question if you have the stomach for it:



Cue the forced PR apology in 3... 2... 1....

“To all of those who have seen our 9/11 sale. We are very sorry we have offended you,” Miracle Mattress wrote in a Facebook apology. “Our intentions were not to hurt anyone at all. Our staff is full of military and some relatives have passed away due to 9/11.”

“We are promoters of peace and love. We have given abundantly to our community here in San Antonio and wish to remain known as a company who respects and loves others. We hope you find it in your hearts to forgive us. Please accept our apology.”
http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/08/internet-outraged-by-mattress-stores-911-themed-commercial-video/




And in case you were wondering, they closed:

A Texas mattress store that came under fire for mocking the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, has been shut down, the company's owner announced in a letter posted to Facebook on Friday, September 9. Overwhelmed by the backlash he received, Miracle Mattress owner Mike Bonanno made the decision to shutter the San Antonio establishment only one day after the public got hold of a commercial advertising the store's "Twin Towers Sale."
http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/08/internet-outraged-by-mattress-stores-911-themed-commercial-video/





Creepy Clowns Of Greensboro


I hope none of my Top 10 audience suffers from coulrophobia because we are going to talk about creepy clowns for this entry. But before we do, we need some appropriate music for this entry. Can we get that please?



No. How about:



Still no. I got it!



*Jack Black voice* Better. Closer. Warmer.



Perfect!!! So for this story we go to Greensboro, South Carolina. There, an apartment complex on the outskirts of town near the woods. Seriously, creepy clowns literally coming out of the woods. This is a horror movie waiting to happen. Where’s that crime fighting duo from The Conjuring? Can we get them down to Greensboro to investigate please? So here’s the news as it was originally reported:

GREENSBORO, N.C. -- Police are warning against copycat behavior after a clown sighting was reported near a wooded area in Greensboro.

Greensboro Police Department says someone called 911 after seeing a clown near the woods by The Park at Old Oak Ridge Road apartment complex around 10 a.m.

Police say the caller reported a person wearing a scary clown mask, a red curly wig, a yellow dotted shirt, blue clown pants, and clown shoes. Police say another man chased after the clown with a machete, and the clown ran back into the woods and out of sight.

Officers searched the area but didn't find the clown. Police say they encourage people to report suspicious behavior, but say you shouldn't confront someone who may be acting in an unusual manner.
http://www.wfmynews2.com/news/local/clown-sighting-near-greensboro-apartment-complex/314470561




So with that in mind I’ve seen way too many horror movies to know that the police saying to warn against copycat behavior is immediately suspect. And of course my suspicions are confirmed to the point where a second sighting happened. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!



GREENSBORO — A student walking to Andrews High on McGuinn Drive is the latest person to report seeing a clown in the Triad.

The increasing number of inexplicable clown sightings, which first started in Greenville, S.C., late last month, drew the interest of NBC’s “Today” show. The show plans to air a segment about the sightings this morning.

Wednesday’s sighting in High Point happened between 8 and 9 a.m. as the 17-year-old girl walked to school, said Capt. Mark Lane of the High Point Police Department.
http://www.greensboro.com/news/more-concern-after-clown-sightings-in-high-point-greensboro/article_cdd8f840-bc4f-51f3-91ef-5550f7a35d28.html




Still scared? There was a third sighting! Holy shit! Where are these clowns coming from? And they are literally coming out of the wood work people! Where’s my horror movie fans at?

GUILFORD COUNTY, N.C. -- Greensboro Police on Tuesday morning received a call about another clown sighting in the Piedmont Triad.

The sighting occurred at The Park at Oakridge apartments off Old Oak Ridge Road not far from Interstate 73. A man said he saw a clown near the wooded area behind the complex at about 10 a.m.

Chris Bass told FOX8 he lives at the complex with his wife and two children. He was on his balcony when he spotted a man in a white mask, red curly hair, yellow dotted shirt, blue clown pants and clown shoes in the wooded area. Bass tried to chase the clown but could not catch him. He called his actions his "fatherly instinct."
http://myfox8.com/2016/09/06/third-clown-sighting-this-time-in-greensboro/




And in fact three more sightings have happened, and this is leaving the local police in Greensboro baffled. In fact three more sightings have happened since the first last week:

GUILFORD COUNTY, N.C. - Three more creepy clown sightings have been reported in the Piedmont Triad region of North Carolina.

The first occurred in Forsyth County around 11 p.m. on Monday. A woman reported a clown wielding a machete tried to lure her into the woods near Phelps Drive and Morrell Road near Walkertown, according to Forsyth County Chief Deputy Brad Stanley.

The woman said the male clown had red bushy hair and a red nose, and was wearing black gloves, a black tie and white shoes, Stanley said.

The second sighting happened in High Point, where a student reported seeing a man dressed as a clown on the High Point Greenway near Andrews High School Tuesday morning, High Point police Capt. Mike Kirk confirmed to the High Point Enterprise.
http://fox8.com/2016/09/07/three-more-creepy-clown-sightings-reported-in-north-carolina/




Where is this going? Maybe this is like that castle scene in Hot Fuzz – eventually we’ll find out that this is all connected somehow, and the truth may be scarier than what was originally led on!



But there's still more - a guy got arrested for reporting a false creepy clown sighting:

A North Carolina man who told police someone dressed as a clown had knocked on his window at night landed in jail on Friday after admitting he fabricated the story, the latest twist in a string of such reported sightings in recent weeks.

David Wayne Armstrong, 24, described to Winston-Salem police how he had chased the clown into nearby woods, but authorities said in a statement he had lied. He was arrested on a charge of filing a false police report.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/man-arrested-false-clown-sighting_us_57d33052e4b03d2d459aa3ec?section=us_weird-news


And even Stephen King - the master of horror - the guy who wrote The Shining, thinks this is creepy - and that's saying something!

(Reuters) - A spate of creepy clown sightings in South Carolina has perplexed police and worried parents, but their frightening appearance was no surprise to best-selling U.S. horror author Stephen King.

King, whose 1986 novel “It” tells the story of a supernatural being that appears as a clown to terrorize the residents of a small Maine town, told the Bangor Daily News that fear of clowns touches a nerve with children and adults alike.

“Kids love clowns, but they also fear them; clowns with their white faces and red lips are so different and so grotesque compared to ‘normal’ people,” the newspaper quoted King as saying in an article posted on Friday. “The clown furor will pass, as these things do, but it will come back, because under the right circumstances, clowns really can be terrifying.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stephen-king-creepy-clown-sightings_us_57d30366e4b03d2d459a545c?section=us_weird-news




Since this story is still ongoing we don’t really have an end for this but we will keep you posted as to what happens next. But we will leave you where things take an extremely dark turn. One guy actually did see a creepy clown come out of the woods and proceeded to chase the clown down with a machete. Because… murder. This seriously has all the makings of a real life horror movie, folks!

Chris Bass said he called 911, grabbed a weapon and chased the clown into the woods.

"I know all the kids in here and it’s just, that's why I took it so serious, because I know all the kids here," Bass said.

Greensboro police said a witness reported seeing a person wearing a clown mask, red curly wig, yellow spotted shirt, blue clown pants and clown shoes.

Officers also searched the area for the clown but to no avail.
http://www.wsoctv.com/news/local/greensboro-man-grabs-machete-chases-clown-into-woods/438617217




I take it the guy who grabbed the machete definitely isn’t down with the clown.




And Now This Also:
Ben Carson Forgets His Luggage

Before we go this week, I really have to play this bonus video. You really can’t make this shit up folks:




See you next week!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #40: Zika Virus Apocalypse Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #40: Zika Virus Apocalypse Edition



Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Come with me, and you’ll see in a world of pure imagination. Take a look and you’ll see into your imagination… Sing it with me! We are back ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, LGBT and gender non conformers! And in our regularly scheduled time slot! No computer fuck ups, no breaks, just some Top 10 goodness. Come on let’s give it up for Gene Wilder who sadly passed while we were putting together this week’s edition. I want to see some applause people! Come on, who didn’t love at least one of his movies – and he made some truly amazing ones. You have Blazing Saddles and the Producers. That would be enough for any actor or actress to have movies of that caliber on their resume, but then you add such amazing flicks as Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, Bonnie & Clyde, Hanky Panky, The Woman In Red, See No Evil Hear No Evil, Young Frankenstein, Silver Streak, I could go on and on. I mean the guy even had his own show that ran for two seasons – “Something Wilder”. So how do we best remember the man who fueled so many childhoods with Willy Wonka, and adulthoods with Blazing Saddles and the Producers? How about this clip from one of my favorite flicks – Blazing Saddles?



First off – John Oliver is on a break while he goes on tour with Funny Or Die’s Oddball Fest, but first – Stephen Colbert tests the validity of the Hillary Clinton e-mail “scandal”:



So where do we begin this week? Well we begin with a trigger warning – the top slot is going to go to a registered democrat and daughter of West Virginia senator. But as we’ve shown before in our discussion of Deborah Wasserman-Shultz, nobody is immune from this list if they do something incredibly stupid or evil. With that in mind the top two slots are going to go to Heather Bresch (1,2), who is redefining what it means to be a robber baron in modern society. Meanwhile returning champion Donald Trump is going to take up the next three slots (3, 4, 5). In the third slot we’re going to talk about Donald J. Trump and a certain Ann Coulter, and how their relationship might be well, in shambles. Don’t trust a snake oil salesman too quickly there, Ann! In the fourth slot we’re going to talk about Donald Trump’s relationship with “the blacks” while he said some jaw-dropping things about NBA star Dwayne Wade’s late cousin and got in a Twitter fight with Avengers star Don Cheadle. Meanwhile in the fifth slot we’re going to talk about something rare that Donald Trump almost never does – apologize for hurling insults. Or did he? Taking the number 6 slot we are going to talk about another Trump incited feud, this time involving 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick (6). At number 7, now that the 2016 Olympics is in the books (spoiler alert: America won twice as many gold medals as the next country, only we didn’t get to see it), we’re going to tell you about the Mainstream Media (7) and their coverage of the Zika Virus. If you watch the MSM, you would see that it is coming to kill every last single one of us! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! At number 8 we’re going to talk about Maine Gov. Paul Le Page, who got caught leaving a profanity-laden voice mail, and we’re going to take him up on his challenge to prove he’s a racist. Taking the number 9 slot (NEIN!!!) Alex Jones returns and he’s got a whopper this week surrounding Hillary’s jabs at him during her speeches. Finally this week we have to talk about this story. So apparently Lindsay Lohan (10) is traveling to Russia, and her list of demands are certifiably insane. One of them? She wants to have a sit down with Donald Trump’s BFF and shirtless dressage pioneer Vladimir Putin. Good luck with that! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


Heather Bresch


You know since I started the Top 10, one of our favorite punching bags here has been pharma-douche Martin Shkreli. And while Martin Shkreli might be getting his ass handed to him by forensic accounting investigators and the FBI, a newer, more scarier pharma-douche has emerged. Sorry Shkreli, playtime is over. But compared to Heather Bresch, your ill-advised pharmaceutical price hiking seems relatively tame by comparison! Here’s the news as it originally broke:

For most parents, back-to-school season means searching for this year’s trendy first-day outfit, stocking up on 3-ring binders, and making sure that summer homework is finished. When it comes to parents of kids with severe allergies, however, there’s an extra task on that list: Re-stocking their EpiPen prescription before their children enter a world where a lethal peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich could be lurking a cafeteria table away.

“Make sure your child always has an EpiPen(R) Auto-Injector within reach,” reads item number 2 on the “Back To School Homework for parents” webpage hosted by the EpiPen brand owner, pharmaceutical company Mylan.

Last year, about 3.6 million prescriptions were written for EpiPens, which expire each year and need to be replaced.

But Mylan has priced this life-saving medication, which can keep airways open during severe allergic reactions, far out of reach for many families. Over the past nine years, since Mylan bought the rights to the EpiPen, the price for the easy-to-use injectors has quintupled — increasing about 450 percent, from around $50 for one injector to $600 for a pack of two.
https://thinkprogress.org/life-saving-allergy-treatment-is-becoming-too-expensive-for-families-to-afford-4fe5dd9aab39#.9pauegkpj


Holy fucking shit! Think about that number there for a minute. 450%!!! The only other time you would achieve a percentage that high is when you use cheat codes in Grand Theft Auto to get 450% armor, or maybe when Thor fights Iron Man in the first Avengers flick:



But there’s more:

Epinephrine-dispensing EpiPens have become a necessity for families with children suffering from severe allergies. However, as the price of EpiPen surges, the potentially life-saving medicine is being given a skip by users who have to make a choice between being broke or risking an attack.

In cases of severe allergic reactions, the synthetic adrenaline in EpiPens is used to counter effects like wheezing, uneven breathing, increased or decreased heart rate, swelling and other reactions. While a two-pack of EpiPens cost pharmacies about $100 in 2009, the prices have risen by more than 480 percent to its current price of more than $600, CBS News reported.
http://www.ibtimes.com/epipen-price-surge-causing-families-risk-severe-allergic-reactions-2402965


This is a jaw-dropping, stunning level of evil here. The medication is so fucking expensive that poor families who have kids with severe allergies have to make a choice – buy Epipen at $600 a piece, or risk severe allergic reactions.



But here’s where things get batshit insane. So you know here at the Top 10 we’ve been railing on CEOs and outrageous pay increases since the beginning. Well if this doesn’t make you want to vomit all over your monitor / phone / tablet, you sir / madam are a much stronger person than I am.

Mylan Pharmaceuticals CEO Heather Bresch is desperately trying to control the public relations disaster created by her company’s decision to jack up the price of the life-saving EpiPen drug by 450 percent over the past 12 years.

CNBC interviewer Brian Sullivan also pointed out that the American Medical Association has said that EpiPens are the same product that they were in 2009, and thus nothing justifies such massive price hikes.

When asked how she could justify increasing her own compensation — which has risen from $2.5 million in 2007 to $18.9 million in 2015 — even as parents have to pay significantly more for their children’s life-saving drugs, Bresch again completely dodged the question.

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/watch-mylan-ceo-heather-bresch-goes-down-in-flames-defending-16m-pay-raise-and-epipen-price-hike/




And here’s my favorite part of this whole thing – Ms. Bresch herself is saying that “no one is more frustrated than I am” when it comes to the 450% price increase of Epipen. Cue the world’s tiniest violin:

Mylan CEO Heather Bresch struggled Thursday to justify the repeated big price hikes of the company's lifesaving EpiPen devices as criticism continued that Mylan is gouging consumers with a retail cost of more than $600.

"No one's more frustrated than me," Bresch told CNBC's "Squawk Box" on Thursday when she was pressed on the question of why Mylan needed to have such a high price for EpiPens, and why she just didn't cut their price.

"Everybody should be frustrated," said Bresch, who in recent days has come under fire from U.S. Senators, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and patients who are outraged by EpiPen's 400 percent price increases in recent years.
http://www.cnbc.com/2016/08/25/mylan-expands-epipen-cost-cutting-programs-after-charges-of-price-gouging.html




Everyone should be frustrated? No shit!!! $600 for a drug that used to cost $57???? And you get a $16 million fucking pay day out of this? How are we not supposed to be frustrated with this? This is exactly the same thing Martin Shkreli did and he bragged about all the cash and bling that he got out of it like he was in a Rick Ross video (see: Idiots #7 ) !



And then I love this part – this was the actual response from the CEO herself: “Mylan CEO on her salary increasing as EpiPen prices rose: "I understand...that facts are inconvenient to headlines" “. Shut up!!!




Heather Bresch


So if you’re an investor in Mylan Pharmaceuticals – you’re pretty much fucked. It’s almost as if Heather Bresch has been mirroring Martin Shkreli and doing the same thing he’s doing, only way more evil. Here’s what happened:

Mylan Pharmaceuticals — the company that makes the EpiPen rescue device — has watched its stock value plummet over the last five days as panicky investors jump ship.

According to U.S. Uncut, outrage over Mylan’s decision to jack up the price of the EpiPen has spooked shareholders, whose departures have reduced the value of Mylan stock by 12.4 percent. On August 19, Mylan stocks went from $49.20 per share to $43.11 on August 24, a net loss of nearly $3 billion for the company.

The EpiPen is a popular rescue device for food allergy sufferers who run the risk of anaphylaxis — a potentially lethal reaction to allergen exposure. The device rapidly delivers a dose of epinephrine to the system, which for severe allergy sufferers can mean the difference between life and death.

The device was conceived and developed for the U.S. Department of Defense by researcher Sheldon Kaplan. The studies and testing were all underwritten by U.S. taxpayer revenues. The device was originally created as an antidote to nerve gas, but it was released to the public as a rapid remedy to anaphylactic shock.
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/epipen-makers-stock-value-plunges-nearly-3-billion-as-investors-panic/




You know in doing research on this topic, we have to go back to 2012, when doctors were warned about a curious rise in food allergies – such as peanuts and honey – among kids that were developing at an alarming rate. 4 years ago, that drug was owned by Pfizer. Let’s delve into some history of the drug here, shall we?

After a 7-year-old girl died in January in a similar case in Virginia, the state passed a law that allows any child who needs an emergency shot to get one. Beginning this month, every school district in Virginia is required to keep epinephrine injectors on hand for use in an emergency. Illinois, Georgia and Maryland have passed similar laws, and school nurses are pushing for one in Ohio. A lobbying effort backed by Mylan, which markets the most commonly used injector, the EpiPen, made by Pfizer, led to the introduction last year of a federal bill that would encourage states to pass such laws.

Mylan has also lobbied state legislatures around the country directly and is passing out free EpiPens this fall to any qualifying school that wants them.

“When a child is having an anaphylactic reaction, the only thing that can save her life is epinephrine,” said Maria L. Acebal, the chief executive of the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network. “911 doesn’t get there fast enough.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/08/business/mylan-invests-in-epipen-as-child-allergies-increase.html?pagewanted=all


That sounds innocent enough right? I mean when Mylan bought the drug from Pfizer, it seemed like a no brainer that it should be handed out to elementary school kids free of charge right? Well, it’s not as innocent as it sounds:

EpiPens are mandatory for public schools in at least 11 states after Congress passed a law recommending their use — but the drug’s manufacturer pays no U.S. taxes at all after relocating overseas.

Mylan spent $4 million lobbying Congress to pass the 2013 School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act, which offers incentives to schools to stock the potentially life-saving auto-injectors.

About a year and a half later, Mylan completed a corporate inversion to change its legal residence to the Netherlands, a tax haven, while keeping its headquarters and most of its employees in the Pittsburgh area.

The move allowed Mylan to cut its U.S. effective tax rate from 9.4 percent in 2013, the year Congress helped protect its market dominance, to negative 4.7 percent in 2015, according the group Americans For Tax Fairness.
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/mylan-pushed-for-law-to-make-epipens-mandatory-in-us-schools-then-fled-overseas-to-avoid-taxes/




Well, I hate to tell you my friends, it gets weirder. Yes, there is rampant cronyism and nepotism involved. Yes, Mylan’s CEO is the daughter of West Virginia DEMOCRATIC senator Joe Manchin. But that part isn’t what is important. What’s important is that Heather Bresch should not be put in charge of anything! I wouldn’t trust this woman to run a kids’ lemonade stand!

Mylan CEO Heather Bresch would never have been hired at the company had it not been for her father, Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin, NBC News reported.

Bresch herself admitted as much in a 2012 interview published in WV Living magazine. “I don’t deny that I got my first job at Mylan because of my dad,” she said at the time, adding, “I couldn’t have told you what Mylan did. I vaguely knew it had something to do with science.”

The magazine reported that Manchin mentioned to the company’s co-founder, Mike Puskar, that she was looking for a job. The senator then urged her to apply at the company for a data entry position 20 years ago.

“You should absolutely take it. Give it a year,” she recalled him saying.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/epipens-bresch-i-got-my-first-job-at-mylan-because-of-my-dad-didnt-know-what-they-did/


Shut up. Just shut up. Stop talking. Knowing what I’ve read about this thing – if Mrs. Bresch would run a lemonade stand, she would be selling a 25 cent glass of lemonade for $65. Now let’s check out the chain o’ command that shows how Mylan got the drug shall we?

In 2014, Mylan purchased the generics business of Abbott Laboratories, which allowed the Pennsylvania company to shift its corporate headquarters to the Netherlands, cutting its tax bill. That tax “inversion” drew the ire of President Obama, who criticized Mylan and other companies as unpatriotic. Mylan executive chairman Robert Coury, 55, fired back in an op-ed in USA Today, saying it was the equivalent of calling Americans who buy foreign products unpatriotic. With head-scratching logic, he pointed out that many antibiotics are no longer made in the US. “Should Americans stop taking these lifesaving medicines because they aren’t ‘Made in the USA?’ ” he wrote.

Last year, Israeli generic maker Teva offered to buy Mylan for $40.1 billion. Mylan didn’t just say “no,” but “hell no,” and Coury blasted Teva’s management and culture in a public letter to Teva’s chairman. “We do not wish to make Teva’s problems Mylan’s problems, or to inflict them on Mylan’s shareholders and other stakeholders,” he wrote.
http://qz.com/765333/exorbitant-prices-are-just-one-reason-to-loathe-the-company-that-makes-the-epipen/




And then what does Sen. Manchin have to say about his daughter being a CEO robber baron? Well… PR response is PR response:

Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) has come into the spotlight this week after revelations that his daughter’s company has decided to drastically increase the price of life-saving EpiPen drugs.

On Thursday, Manchin issued a public statement addressing the controversy that ensued when it was revealed that drug manufacturer Mylan Pharmaceuticals has raised the price of EpiPens by 450 percent over the past 12 years.

“I am aware of the questions that my colleagues and many parents are asking and frankly I share their concerns about the skyrocketing prices of prescription drugs,” he began. “Today I heard Mylan’s initial response, and I am sure Mylan will have a more comprehensive and formal response to those questions.”
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/sen-manchin-finally-responds-to-his-daughters-company-jacking-up-epipen-prices/


And of course they lowered the price. But not as much as you’d think:

The maker of EpiPens announced Thursday that it is reducing the price of the device following an uproar in Washington over the cost of the treatment for serious allergic reactions.

Mylan, the company that makes EpiPens, said it will provide a savings card worth up to $300 for people who had been paying the full out-of-pocket cost, effectively reducing the cost by 50 percent.
The company is also doubling the eligibility for its patient assistance program, which eliminates out-of-pocket costs for uninsured and underinsured people.

"We have been a long-term, committed partner to the allergy community and are taking immediate action to help ensure that everyone who needs an EpiPen® Auto-Injector gets one,” CEO Heather Bresch said in a statement.
http://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/293273-epipen-maker-lowers-price-in-response-to-uproar





Trump V. Coulter: Yawn Of Justice


So last week you know we had a lot of fun with the Donald Trump fake Tweet generator. Which lets you say just about anything and formats it as a Donald Trump tweet:



Damn right. So we have to talk about the Donald Trump and Ann Coulter situation. So Ann Coulter put out her latest piece of shit book called “In Trump We Trust”. I particularly like that it has the tagline “E Pluribus Awesome”. Can we show that?



So what did Trumpenfuror do to Ann Coulter? Why if you guessed he can’t be trusted, you are correct good sir / madam! You get points! So of course here’s the first review:

By my scientific count, there are only two newspaper columnists in the known universe who have not already declared Donald Trump’s presidential campaign dead and buried. One is me. Having mocked Trump for getting in a Twitter war with a Mexican narcotrafficker way back at the beginning of the campaign, only to see him shoot to the top of GOP polls, I long ago certified this campaign as too bat-guano-crazy to predict.

The other dissenter is the lethally blonde Ann Coulter, whose new book “In Trump We Trust” will be published Tuesday and, if history is any indication, will next be spotted on the New York Times best-seller list.

Coulter, an early and enthusiastic backer of Trump (he essentially adapted her book “Adios, America” as his campaign platform on immigration), has been warning that the polls were undercounting his supporters ever since he started out near the bottom of a 17-candidate Republican field.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/op-ed/article97277152.html#storylink=cpy


And then wow – I never thought I would find myself agreeing with bloated gasbag Rush Limbaugh but you know what they say – a broken clock is right twice a day:

Talk radio host Rush Limbaugh fell into a fit of laughter Thursday while telling his listeners about how Donald Trump had somehow managed to convince his loyal followers to support amnesty just before Ann Coulter‘s book came out.

RushTalk radio host Rush Limbaugh fell into a fit of laughter Thursday while telling his listeners about how Donald Trump had somehow managed to convince his loyal followers to support amnesty just before Ann Coulter‘s book came out.

“Could you imagine what it’s like to be Jeb Bush today? Who knew–” he began, before laughing.

“First they tried Marco Rubio. They tried the Gang of Eight. They tried Jeb Bush… they tried everybody they could think of to try to convince the Republican base to support some form of amnesty for illegal immigrants…” he tried again, before breaking into uncontrollable laughter.

“Who knew,” Limbaugh finally managed to say between chuckles, “that it would be Donald Trump to come out and convert the GOP base to supporting amnesty the same week Ann Coulter’s book comes out!”
http://www.mediaite.com/online/rush-limbaugh-literally-cant-stop-laughing-at-the-plight-of-ann-coulter/




So can I take that as a “we were right all along” when it comes to immigration, Rush? Well this thing gets weirder and weirder. So here’s what Donald Trump did when Ann Coulter’s book came out:

Donald Trump has just betrayed Ann Coulter. Which is a dangerous thing to do.

This week, Coulter released her new book, In Trump We Trust. As the title suggests, it’s a defense of Trump. But more than that, it’s a defense of Trumpism. Most Trump surrogates contort themselves to defend whatever The Donald says, no matter its ideological content. They’re like communist party functionaries. They get word from the ideologists on high, and regurgitate it as best they can.

Coulter is different. She’s an ideologist herself. She realized the potency of the immigration issue among conservatives before Trump did. On June 1 of last year, she released Adios America, which devotes six chapters to the subject of immigrants and rape. Two weeks later, Trump—having received an advanced copy—famously picked up the thread in his announcement speech.
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/08/how-trump-betrayed-ann-coulter-on-immigration/497618/






Which as you can guess, this has left hardcore xenophobe Ann Coulter betrayed and angry. Don’t trust a snake oil salesman that quickly, Ann:

WASHINGTON—Ann Coulter has just begun the promotional tour for her new book, In Trump We Trust, which contains this statement: “There’s nothing Trump can do that won’t be forgiven. Except change his immigration policies.”

The book came out Tuesday. By Wednesday, Coulter did not seem like a woman who trusted Donald Trump.

Trump, it had become clear, is thinking about changing his immigration policies.

The Republican presidential nominee has modified, abandoned or reversed a dizzying array of campaign pledges, but this particular shift would be a doozy to surpass them all. Trump, who won the Republican primary in significant part because of a promise to deport all 11 million of America’s illegal immigrants, is now musing publicly about allowing most of those people to stay.
https://www.thestar.com/news/world/2016/08/25/ann-coulter-fumes-as-donald-trump-floats-massive-immigration-flip-flop.html





Donald Trump





That’s real. That happened. Donald Trump is so desperate to court the African American vote – where he is currently hovering at about, um…………… 2%:

The need for better outreach by the Republican Party and its nominee to African-Americans has been underscored as Trumpmade this point in recent days to the overwhelmingly white crowds that show up to his rallies.

"The GOP is the party of Lincoln, and I want our party to be the home of the African-American vote once again. I want an inclusive country, and I want an inclusive party," Trump said in Virginia.

The challenge Trump has in reaching out is also apparent in his poll numbers. African-Americans represent a reliable voting bloc for Democrats, but Trump's poll numbers with black voters are low — even for a Republican nominee.

Exit polls from 2012 showed Mitt Romney winning just 6% of African-Americans, while President Obama won 93% of the black vote. An ABC News/Washington Post poll this month showed Trump with just 2% of support among black voters.
http://www.npr.org/2016/08/21/490821643/trumps-appeal-to-black-voters-may-repeat-past-mistakes-of-gop-outreach


So 2%!!! That might be the lowest approval rating in the history of, well, approval ratings! But I love this – in an apparent attempt to channel his inner Kanye West, or maybe Charlie Sheen, Trumpenfuror is looking forward to the 2020 election and saying that he will be the greatest of all time:

Donald Trump promised Friday night that if elected president, he will win 95 percent of the African-American vote in his reelection bid.

Renewing his effort to reach out to black voters at a rally Friday evening, Trump suggested that Democratic politicians that overwhelmingly govern in America’s inner cities have failed African-Americans. Trump told the Dimondale, Michigan, crowd that “we can never fix our problems by relying on the same politicians who created our problems in the first place. A new future requires brand-new leadership.”

“You're living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs. Fifty-eight percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose?” Speaking before another largely-white audience in a town whose population is 93 percent white, Trump said, “And at the end of four years, I guarantee you that I will get over 95 percent of the African-American vote. I promise you. Because I will produce.”
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/donald-trump-african-american-vote-227218


https://cdn1.lockerdome.com/uploads/d070b3efa6ab9b92293a0216ac0fc792dd428cadefee07089d4b95bec92181eb_large



Well he won’t win any votes with the African American community when he resorts to pulling stupid shit like this. Can we throw that Tweet up there?

:medium

And yes that’s an actual Trump Tweet. See if we were to make a fake one it would look something like this:



So here’s what happened and it’s a really shitty story, and I have great respect for Dwayne Wade, he’s one of the best in the game right now, and it sucks that this happened. Just another day in gun country:

Donald Trump sought to use the shooting death of basketball player Dwyane Wade's cousin as a political statement on Saturday, a move that drew scorn from some on social media.

On Friday, Nykea Aldridge, 32, was shot and killed while she pushed her baby in a stroller near an elementary school on Chicago's South Side. The baby was not harmed in the shooting.

Trump, after a year of waging a presidential campaign marked by divisive and racially coded rhetoric, has recently sought to appeal to African American voters. The effort, note many political observers, is also an attempt to boost his poll numbers with moderate whites, who in surveys view past rhetoric by Trump to be racist.
http://www.latimes.com/nation/politics/trailguide/la-na-trailguide-updates-1472317889-htmlstory.html




But my favorite part of this is that Don Cheadle – who is awesome in the Avengers movies as Col. James Rhodes, aka War Machine / Iron Patriot. He unloaded at Donald Trump over this:

"Dwayne Wade's cousin was just shot and killed walking her baby in Chicago," Trump tweeted Saturday morning, misspelling the basketball player's first name. "Just what I have been saying. African-Americans will VOTE TRUMP!" . . . .

Actor Don Cheadle and other Trump critics Saturday pounced on the tweet, saying he was seizing on Aldridge's death and Chicago's gun violence for political gain. In a series of tweets — often employing pretty salty language — Cheadle blasted Trump as using the shooting to throw "red meat to his alt-right troglodytes."

"People of Drumpf's ilk are contributors to the conditions that lead to the 'Chicagos' of this country," Cheadle said in one tweet, referring to the surname of Trump's German ancestors.

The election, Cheadle added in another tweet, "is like a Shakespearean farce except it could end in a mushroom cloud."

Read more: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2016/08/27/don-cheadle-unleashes-twitter-storm-donald-trump/89477440/






And in case you were wondering about Donald Trump’s minority outreach program and how that’s working, look no further than my hometown of Anaheim, California, where a group of 100 people (yes, you read that number correctly) calling themselves “Latinos For Trump”. Can we show that photo of the rally?



I particularly like that one guy in the bottom row with the sunglasses and he has his thumbs up. Kind of like he's saying "Hey you know who has two thumbs and is going to vote against his best interests in November? This guy!"



About 100 supporters of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump rallied at Anaheim City Hall on Sunday afternoon, arguing that his support among the Latino community is stronger than has been widely reported.

The rally, organized by Latinos for Trump, was part of an initiative termed Operation Taco Bowl – an apparent reference to a Cinco de Mayo photo of Trump eating a taco bowl with a caption that read, “I love Hispanics.”

Those attending were about half Latino, with most from outside of Orange County. Trump supporters took turns standing beside two mannequin caricatures of Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton and telling the crowd why they support Trump.

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/trump-727278-support-latinos.html


That’s real. That happened. Can we show the flyer?



He couldn't even spell my hometown's fucking name correctly!!!





And by the way – I love this – MSNBC has compiled a list of things that are more popular among the African American community than Donald Trump:






Donald Trump


Apologies. That thing you do when butt dial 911 while you’re out buying weed from your local dealer. “I’m sorry officer, my phone accidentally dialed 911 by mistake while I was buying weed. I’ll be sure to put a pass code on it so it doesn’t happen again!” Well, Donald Trump doesn’t know the meaning of what an apology is, apparently.



So that happened.

The GOP nominee says Friday's interview of Burns was a "coordinated gang attack." In a statement on Sunday, Trump calls it "one of the most appalling things I have ever seen on television."

On Monday's show, Brzezinski made no mention of the controversy.

Friday's segment was contentious, to say the least. The website Mediaite described the segment this way: "Brzezinski Browbeats Black Pro-Trump Pastor: Is It Racist, Yes or No?"

Related: Trump will address black voters

Burns made the TV news rounds last week supporting Trump's candidacy. In his "Morning Joe" appearance on Friday, Brzezinski asked Burns, when Trump "made the comments he made about the judge saying he was a Mexican, was that racist, or not?"
http://money.cnn.com/2016/08/28/media/donald-trump-morning-joe-mika-brzezinski/




Or did Donald Trump apologize?

‘Sorry’ really does seem to be the hardest word – especially if you’re Donald Trump.

With the blustery reality show host dominating the Republican presidential polls in spite of – or perhaps, because of – a variety of offensive statements aimed at women and minorities, many have demanded that Trump apologize. The real estate mogul this week even drew the ire of Fox News Chairman and CEO Roger Ailes, who said Trump should say he’s sorry for his latest attacks on anchor Megyn Kelly, who grilled Trump on past anti-woman comments at the first GOP debate of the 2016 contest.

Ailes is hardly alone. There have also been calls for Trump to apologize to Sen. John McCain and families of POWs after he questioned the Arizona lawmaker’s Vietnam war record. Then there’s his suggestion that Mexican immigrants are “rapists” and “killers,” and his rant against Kelly in which he implied she had only grilled him because she was menstruating.
http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/has-donald-trump-ever-apologized


Donald Trump showing remorse for something? Puh-lease!!!!!!!!!! I can sense his nose getting longer and longer every single time he speaks.




But getting back to Donald Trump and apologies. If you’ve been following this train wreck of a campaign as much as I have, you should know by now that Donald Trump is the most thin-skinnned person on the planet. I mean how could our possible future president Donald J. Trump not lie about anything?

Donald Trump on Thursday appeared to stash away the bravado he has displayed at his rallies, apologizing for what appears to be the first time for his controversial words on the campaign trail and saying "I will never lie to you."

"Sometimes, in the heat of debate, and speaking on a multitude of issues, you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing. I have done that, and believe it or not I regret it," Trump said.

"I do regret it particularly where it may have caused personal pain.” It was a remarkable departure for the candidate who almost never expresses regret out on the campaign trail, unless in jest.

Trump was not specific about the remarks he says he regretted, but he has made numerous controversial comments and offered falsehoods over the course of his campaign, from calling Mexican immigrants rapists, to insulting a federal judge for his Mexican heritage.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-apologizes-words-campaign-trail-lie/story?id=41496030


In fact Donald Trump and Ryan Lochte’s forced PR apologies should teach us one thing – don’t listen to PR people and speak from your heart. Oh wait, don’t do that! At least have some input to your PR advisor:

What do Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, Olympic gold medallist Ryan Lochte and comedy writer Kurt Metzger have in common?

They wouldn’t know how to say they’re sorry to save their lives, as illustrated this week by their very public non-apologies for equally public bad behavior.

Let’s start with the man who has so much to apologize for, the master of misspeak, Donald J Trump.

At a campaign event Thursday in North Carolina, the brusque businessman made headlines for what may have been the first expression of regret in his political career.

“Sometimes, in the heat of debate and speaking on a multitude of issues, you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing,” Trump declared as he read from prepared remarks.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/aug/20/public-apologies-donald-trump-ryan-lochte-kurt-metzger





Trump V. Kaepernick


I had a much different entry planned for this one. We were going to talk about the preacher who bought raffle tickets to win an AK47 with the intent of destroying it, but forgot to do a background check - we'll save that one for next week. But we have to talk about the Trump V. Kaepernick controversy that started this week. This is too good to leave off for next week. So here’s how it started during a 49ers practice game:



Which of course did not sit well with 49ers fans, who reacted of course, by lighting $300 jerseys with his name on fire. Like you do:



But that didn’t stop the incident from getting the ire of a certain Donald J. Trump:

Donald Trump sharply criticized San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick on Monday for refusing to stand for the national anthem, telling a radio host it's a "terrible thing."

"Maybe he should find a country that works better for him. Let him try. It won’t happen," said the Republican presidential nominee, who spoke to conservative show host Dori Monson on KIRO radio in Seattle ahead of his Tuesday trip to the region for a fundraiser and rally.

Kaepernick, who has been highly critical of both Trump and Democrat Hillary Clinton, has drawn national scrutiny for his decision to sit during the national anthem before games as a form of protest against what he sees as injustices across the country, including police treatment of civilians.

"I mean, ultimately it’s to bring awareness and make people realize what’s really going on in this country. There are a lot of things that are going on that are unjust, people aren’t being held accountable for, and that’s something that needs to change," he said Sunday, according to the San Jose Mercury News.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/08/29/trump-slams-colin-kaepernick-maybe-he-should-find-a-country-that-works-better-for-him/




Wait wait hold up. Back up!!! Beep! Beep! Beep! So let’s extrapolate this for a minute. Colin Kaepernick, in an act of protest, sits down during the national anthem at a 49ers PRACTICE game. Donald Trump is running on a platform of “making America great again” by trashing Mexico, while wearing hats that are, um, made in China!!! The hypocrisy reeks here folks!

Like Justin Bieber, Donald Trump wears his own merch. And the candidate’s “Make America Great Again” hats — which play into the ongoing dad-cap trend — have become instantly recognizable, inspiring their share of fashion parodies. However, whether or not the American hat-manufacturing industry is included in Trump’s plan for greatness is unclear. The Associated Press submitted Trump’s chapeau to a microscopic analysis and found that the caps are assembled in Los Angeles, but not from the specific, American-made fabric the manufacturer claims. (That doesn’t necessarily mean the fabric used is not American-made — the AP story does mention “how difficult and murky it can be to verify something is actually ‘Made in USA.’” However, multiple sources within the manufacturer did tell the wire service that the fabric and bills were both foreign-made.)
http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/07/donald-trump-hats-might-not-be-made-in-the-usa.html




But getting back to the Kaepernick situation – this whole scrutiny from Donald Trump has drawn the ire of just about everybody. Even NASCAR driver Tony Stewart weighed in on the deal:

Tony Stewart did his racing legacy no favors yesterday when he picked up his smartphone and Tweeted his way into the Colin Kaepernick National Anthem controversy. The 45-year-old three-time NASCAR Sprint Cup champion took umbrage with The San Francisco 49ers quarterback sitting down during the National Anthem in a game over the weekend. Kaepernick was protesting police treatment of African-Americans nationwide; Stewart called him an idiot.

"I'm sorry but @Kaepernick7 needs to learn the fact about police before running his dumbass mouth!" Stewart tweeted. "He has no clue what they go thru! #idiot".

The twitterverse backlash was immediate and strident, and went straight for Stewart's jugular: focusing on the 2014 incident at a sprint car race in Canadaigua, NY, in which a fellow sprint car racer Kevin Ward was killed by Stewart's race car. No charges were brought against the Indiana native, though a civil lawsuit brought by the Ward family is ongoing.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/tony-stewarts-twitter-tirade-against-160125062.html




And I love Kareem Abdul Jabar - mainly because I'm a Lakers fan and grew up with the Dream Team - but also for this:

One sign of the maturation of American society is the willingness of those in the public eye, especially athletes, to openly take a political stand, even if it could harm their careers. The modern era of athletes speaking out began in 1966 with Muhammad Ali refusing to be drafted to fight other people of color. In 1967, I joined with football great Jim Brown, basketball legend Bill Russell, Muhammad Ali and other prominent athletes for what was dubbed “The Cleveland Summit.” Together we tried to find ways to help Ali fight for his right of political expression. I don’t know how much we were able to accomplish on a practical level, but seeing black athletes in support of Ali inspired others to speak out. The following year at the 1968 Olympics, African Americans Tommie Smith and John Carlos raised their fists during the medal ceremony as a protest to the treatment of people of color in the United States. In 2014, NBA players LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, Jarrett Jack, Alan Anderson, Deron Williams and Kevin Garnett and NFL players from the Rams and Browns wore “I Can’t Breathe” shirts during warm-ups for a game to protest police killings of unarmed blacks...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/08/30/insulting-colin-kaepernick-says-more-about-our-patriotism-than-his/?postshare=2111472561231470&tid=ss_tw&utm_term=.b6851edee066







Zika Virus Apocalypse


So with the 2016 Olympics in the books you would think we’d move onto the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeonchang or the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo, you would think that’s the last we would hear about the scary things coming out of Brazil. Well not if you’ve been paying attention to the mainstream media and their coverage of the Zika virus. If you listened to the media in the last week with their never ending coverage of the Zika virus, you would think we’re all going to die tonight.



Oh wait, that was from the Evil Dead remake.

But here’s what you might think if you watched media coverage of the Zika virus. Here’s the definition straight from the CDC:

Zika is spread mostly by the bite of an infected Aedes species mosquito (Ae. aegypti and Ae. albopictus). These mosquitoes are aggressive daytime biters. They can also bite at night.
Zika can be passed from a pregnant woman to her fetus. Infection during pregnancy can cause certain birth defects.
There is no vaccine or medicine for Zika.
The Florida Department of Health has identified an area in one neighborhood of Miami where Zika is being spread by mosquitoes. Learn more.
https://www.cdc.gov/zika/about/index.html


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Well of course Mike Huckabee would joke about it to intimidate Hillary Clinton:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mike-huckabee-zika-virus_us_57abc8f3e4b0ba7ed23f15c9?section=&

Zika virus is no laughing matter ― unless, apparently, you’re Mike Huckabee warming up the crowd at a Donald Trump rally.

The former Arkansas governor and failed Republican presidential candidate mocked concerns over the devastating virus so he could take a potshot at Trump’s Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, during a Wednesday evening rally for Trump in Sunrise, Florida.

“I’m a lot more afraid of a Hillary Clinton presidency than I am of getting a mosquito bite in South Florida,” Huckabee said.

Huckabee’s dismissive attitude toward the virus is not shared by women who are pregnant or may become pregnant. One day earlier, a Texas infant died in the state’s first Zika-related death.




And here’s how the media took it. Holy shit.



A threat to everyone!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!



It will ruin the games!!!



Dude, why are they calling the Olympics unhealthy? Did they not see that one article about the pallets of condoms being trucked into Olympic village? There was probably a lot of boning going on!



Apparently not as big as you’d think.



And my personal favorite:






Paul LePage


So I’ll admit that I stole the “People Who Somehow Got Elected” bit from John Oliver. But I love the John Oliver show and I don’t hide it. So here’s the original segment in question:



That was epic. Well, Paul LePage was torn a new asshole this week when he might have unintentionally said something racist. Did I say unintentionally? My bad! Oh yeah he’s a fucking batshit crazy racist bigot all right!

Maine Gov. Paul LePage left an expletive-laced voicemail for a state lawmaker that goaded him to "prove that I'm a racist" after a series of controversial comments once again put the governor in the news.

LePage left the message for Democratic State Rep. Drew Gattine on Thursday, according to the Portland Press Herald, which also posted audio of the voicemail. The uncensored audio message contains several explicit phrases.

CNN requests for comment to Gattine and LePage's office Friday morning were not immediately returned.

The bombastic Republican governor is known for his loose style, which sometimes draws criticism. He is a strong supporter of Donald Trump, and Trump's campaign recently hired his daughter to work on the race in Maine.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/26/politics/paul-lepage-explicit-voicemail-duel-lawmaker/index.html






So cue the forced apology that was written by a well paid public relations advisor (Paul LePage’s would have to be well paid!) in 3… 2… 1…

AUGUSTA — Gov. Paul LePage is apologizing to "the people of Maine" for leaving a vulgar voicemail for a Democratic legislator and says he was using a metaphor when he said he wished he could challenge the lawmaker to a duel and point his gun "right between his eyes."

LePage said in a written statement Friday that he takes it "very seriously" when someone calls him a racist and that it made him "enormously angry" when he heard from a reporter that Rep. Drew Gattine, D-Westbrook, had called him one.

LePage says being called a racist is "the absolute worst, most vile thing you can call a person." So he says he referred to Gattine as a vulgar name involving oral sex because it was the "worst word" he could think of.

The governor then held a news conference Friday in Augusta where he again defended himself for leaving the vulgar voicemail on Gattine's phone.

Read more: http://www.sunjournal.com/news/maine/2016/08/26/gov-paul-lepage-apologizes-obscene-language-voicemail/1983074


And in case you were wondering there is tape of this. Can we roll that please?



NORTH BERWICK — Maine Gov. Paul LePage is in hot water once again for comments about drug dealers arrested in the state, saying photos he's collected show more than 90 percent of them are black or Hispanic.

The comment came after one man in the audience accused the governor of creating a "toxic" environment for racists in the state.

The governor took a lot of questions from residents at Wednesday night's town hall, but maybe the one that struck a chord the most with the governor was one from a resident who questioned his political correctness on recent racial comments.

"The fact of the matter is sir I am not a racist and I don't promote it," LePage said.

Read more: http://www.sunjournal.com/news/maine/2016/08/25/gov-paul-lepage-says-most-drug-dealers-are-black-or-hispanic/1982219


So my question to the Top 10 audience – why are these assholes, liars, racists and morons not held to the same standards they hold our democratic leadership to? The hypocrisy once again reeks! Oh, and in case you were wondering how possible future president Donald J. Trump is involved, I give you:

Donald Trump trusts his own children to help run his business empire, so maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that he decided to hire Maine Governor Paul LePage’s daughter to help his campaign win the Pine Tree State.

The Maine Republican Party announced that Lauren LePage will serve as the Trump campaign’s coalitions director. This is not her first job in politics. The third-year University of Maine law student also headed up a political non-profit and worked for her father. The campaign also announced a deputy state director, meaning the campaign now has three staffers in the state. Lauren isn’t the only LePage to get an interesting job this summer. The first lady is working as a waitress in Boothbay Harbor.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/politics/2016/08/24/trump-hires-lepage-daughter-maine/bq1YKxWsNDae0lFuREQkLN/story.html




Although some good news - and this is late breaking:


Maine Governor Paul LePage says he’s considering resigning following a rash of incendiary and odd outbursts, including calling a state legislator a “socialist” and a “cocksucker” in a voicemail message.

“I’m looking at all options,” the twice-elected Republican governor said while appearing on WVOM, a radio station in Bangor. “I think some things I’ve been asked to do are beyond my ability. I’m not going to say that I’m not going to finish it. I’m not saying that I am going to finish it.”

He later said, “If I’ve lost my ability to help Maine people, maybe it’s time to move on.”

LePage canceled a town hall Tuesday in Westbrook, the hometown of that state legislator, Drew Gattine, and is meeting with Republican legislators Tuesday night, fueling speculation that a resignation could come soon.

Read more: http://www.newsweek.com/lepage-considering-resigning-494592


You can't call someone a cocksucker and expect to get away with it. That's a pretty strong word.




Alex Jones


Well we here at the Top 10 hate to admit it, but it’s finally time that Alex Jones, well, may have lost his shit. And that’s saying a lot. I mean remember this is the man who said that Obama was going to start killing every SCOTUS justice when Antonin Scalia died (see Idiots #16 )! Or how about the time he said Beyonce's new album was part of a CIA conspiracy to get people to rebel against police to install martial law (see Idiots #25 )? Or how about when he calls nearly every single mass shooting a "false flag attack" (see Idiots #4 and Idiots #31). Or when he thought Michelle Obama was a transgendered woman and her daughters weren't hers (see Idiots #28)? I could do this all day. Well now there’s a thing called the Alt-Right movement and at the forefront of this movement are whackadoodle conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones and “men’s rights activists (MRA)s” like Milo Yiannopoulis. Well, that didn’t stop Hillary Clinton from calling these nutjobs out. Can we roll tape on that?



And here’s what drew Mrs. Clinton’s attention:



Yeah that stunt with the pickle was staged!!! It was a liberal media conspiracy to keep Donald Trump from getting elected!

President Obama used “tiny helicopters and airplanes” to guide a super-tornado toward a small Oklahoma town in order to distract from yet another alleged “gun grab,” I thought we’d reached Peak Jones. I thought we’d finally witnessed the most ludicrous conspiracy theory since the one about shape-shifting lizard people from outer space infiltrating every level of our government.

But somehow Jones managed to top it, while also completely embarrassing himself. Finally.

For several years now, Jones has led the effort to diagnose Hillary Clinton’s physical health, theorizing that the Democratic nominee is suffering from a not insignificant brain injury, which, by the way, she’s failed to disclose and ought to immediately. Naturally, the real-life springboard for the theory emerged from a December 2012 story about Hillary suffering a concussion when she collapsed from apparent dehydration.
http://www.salon.com/2016/08/29/pickle-jar-truthers-alex-jones-latest-hillary-health-conspiracy-is-extra-twisted/


And then there’s this:

Conservative conspiracy-monger Alex Jones said Hillary Clinton “looks like a dying woman” on his radio program Sunday, going on to describe Clinton as looking like “a three year old with a lobotomy,” as Media Matters previously reported.

“They’re saying Trump’s got mental problems, they’re saying he’s got health problems,” Jones said. “They’re saying his wife’s a prostitute, an illegal alien, all this crap. The point is, Hillary looks like a dying woman.”

“She looks like she’s in bad shape,” he continued. “She’s got holes in her tongue, she looks like she’s got, I’m sorry, Down syndrome whenever she’s out there with the balloons falling, like she’s a three-year old with a lobotomy.”
http://www.salon.com/2016/08/08/conspiracy-nut-alex-jones-hillary-clinton-looks-like-she-has-down-syndrome-and-a-lobotomy/


You know I’m done beyond trying to comprehend the “logic” or lack thereof coming from Mr. Jones. He’s just too batshit crazy for words. Well you saw the video of how Hillary responded. Now here’s how Alex Jones responded. Can we roll tape on that?



And:





Even my second favorite late night host – Jimmy Kimmel – poked some fun at Alex Jones:



Which caused Alex Jones to of course lose his collective shit:

Late night host Jimmy Kimmel apparently hit a nerve. On his ABC show Thursday night, Kimmel mocked conspiracy theorist Alex Jones for being a pickle jar truther.

“Jimmy Kimmel makes fun of me, how my head’s in the cloud, in cloud cuckooland,” Jones said on his InfoWars show Saturday.

Kimmel had jokingly asked former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to open a jar of pickles to prove she was physically fit enough to be president. In response, Alex Jones dedicated more than 7 minutes of his show on Tuesday to “proving” that the jar was already openned. Kimmel fired back on his own show, mocking the alleged “pickle can-spiracy.”
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/alex-jones-bounces-around-in-a-spasm-of-rage-after-jimmy-kimmel-mocks-his-clinton-pickle-trutherism/


Oh and the direct result of this? Infowars’ site got hacked:

Thousands of user accounts at the conservative site InfoWars have been hacked.

According to Motherboard, the Alex Jones-founded site gives paying subscribers access to extra stories, media and information. The accounts for those paid subscribers were hacked and the email addresses, usernames and their passwords are being offered on the digital underground.

An administrator at Databases.Land gave a copy of over 50,000 unique records to prove the hack was real and Vigilante.PW also lists a data dump of the InfoWars information.
https://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/alex-jones-infowars-site-hacked-50000-plus-users-info-now-available-in-digital-underground/





Ms. Lohan Goes To Russia


So I love it when celebrities like Lindsay Lohan channel their inner diva. I love that shit. That’s the only reason why I watch entertainment news! I don’t give a fuck what restaurant Kim Kardashian and Kanye West went to last night. No!!! I want to see singers demanding only one type of drink served, incense burning 24/7, white rose pedals on the bed sheets that smell like only one kind of perfume! I want to see white rose pedals blowing out the air conditioner vents. How about a private Rolls Royce with a personal chauffeur for your dog! Or how about solid gold toothpaste dispensers? I want to see a personal toilet flusher! Have Kenny Loggins blaring through the loudspeakers 24/7! And only the easy listening Kenny Loggins. No Danger Zone. Sorry, Archer. Give me that kind of shit and I’m suddenly very interested! If you’re going to go full diva, go full diva! Like Cher actually demanded that each tour stop include a separate wig room:

She has sold over 200 million albums worldwide and has an Emmy, a Grammy and an Academy Award – so we can forgive Cher for a little diva behaviour. A woman of many hairstyles, it seems only reasonable for her to request a separate wig room to house the multitude of hair pieces she planned to don during her Living Proof: The Farewell Tour from 2002 to 2005. She must have been feeling emotional about her last planned tour as she also made a special request for aloe vera tissues – but only if they were presented in cube-shaped boxes.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/rockandpopfeatures/11231787/The-most-outrageous-celebrity-diva-demands.html


Or Sarah Palin demanded bendy straws! Bendy straws!!!!

When Pink Floyd sang, in Money, "I'm in the hi-fidelity first class travelling set, and I think I need a Learjet," they were thinking of themselves and their fellow rock stars. They were certainly not thinking of future ex-governors of Alaska. Yet Sarah Palin's leaked demands (including three deluxe hotel rooms, a private aircraft that "must be a Lear 60 or larger", and a "bendable" straw) have made her not only the envy of our former expense-claiming MPs, for whom a simple moat is now an unattainable dream, but also the peer of many rock stars.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/sarah-palin/7594844/Sarah-Palins-flexible-straw-demand-makes-her-a-classic-diva.html


I hear Sarah Palin also demands Big Gulps:




But that leads us into Lindsay Lohan this week. I fucking love this story. So as you may or may not be aware, Lindsay is dating a guy named Egor Tarabasov, who, happens to be, I don’t know, a 22 year old Russian billionaire heir. Who proposed to her like not even 7 months after they started dating. Does he not pay attention to the news? Does he not know the trainwreck that is Ms. Lohan?

They've been dating for seven short months and the world has heard little, if anything, about Lindsay Lohan's romance with Egor Tarabasov, until now.

But no-one was more surprised about last week's engagement than Lindsay herself, it seems, as friends claim 'she didn't see it coming'.

Source close to the star told The New York Post newspaper's Page Six column the 29-year-old actress was taken by surprise when the Russian businessman popped the question last weekend.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3541742/Lindsay-Lohan-shocked-Russian-heir-Egor-Tarabasov-s-proposal-dating-seven-months.html


Dude, there’s still time! Get out now while you can!!! So he asks her to come to Russia. Sounds innocent enough right?

Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been approached by a popular Russian talk show about dropping in for a chat. The only problem, according to the Hollywood Reporter, is that the network has deemed Lohan's alleged list of demands "unreasonable." The show, Let Them Talk, is hosted by popular Russian TV personality Andrey Malakhov.

A copy of Lohan's alleged contract proposal published by Life.ru and obtained by THR reportedly demands a "one-off $860,000 fee" for Lohan's appearance. Additionally, the contract purportedly sent to Channel One requests "full and effective security" for her Moscow visit, a "fully paid suite" at the local Ritz Carlton, and a moratorium on follow-up interviews with several people. Egor Tarabasov, Lohan's former partner, is reportedly listed as someone with whom the network is barred from carrying out "any form of interview" within a year of taping Lohan's appearance.
http://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2016/08/lindsay-lohan-demands-860000-putin-meeting-russian-talk-show-appearance




Man I wish I got paid $860,000 to go to Russia. But why demand a stay at the Ritz Carlton? If you’re going to demand that kind of money why stay where the peasants stay? Well there’s this:

Lindsay Lohan is trying to be a tougher negotiator against Russia than either Clinton or Trump could ever be ... because she's demanding a queen's ransom for an interview on Ruski TV.

We've learned Lindsay was offered to appear on the most popular talk show in Russia -- "Pust govoryat." The show airs on Channel 1, a state-owned station.

The host wants to interview her about her relationship and breakup with ex-fiance Egor Tarabasov. Our Russian spies got us a copy of Channel 1's letter to Lindsay, in which they say, "Please send the list of demands."
http://www.tmz.com/2016/08/21/lindsay-lohan-russian-tv-interview-vladimir-putin/




You want to know what those demands are?

Lindsay sent her demands alright ...

-- a private jet

-- security

-- 1 year Russian visa with extension

-- 500,000 British pounds

-- hair, makeup and manicurist onboard jet

-- Ritz-Carlton penthouse suite


A private jet and half a million British pounds, people! Who is she, Dr. Evil?



And Now This:
Primus Covers “Pure Imagination”:



You’re welcome.

See you next week!

Mylan Pushed To Make Epipen Access Mandatory In Elementary Schools, Then Moved To Netherlands

EpiPens are mandatory for public schools in at least 11 states after Congress passed a law recommending their use — but the drug’s manufacturer pays no U.S. taxes at all after relocating overseas.

Mylan spent $4 million lobbying Congress to pass the 2013 School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act, which offers incentives to schools to stock the potentially life-saving auto-injectors.

About a year and a half later, Mylan completed a corporate inversion to change its legal residence to the Netherlands, a tax haven, while keeping its headquarters and most of its employees in the Pittsburgh area.

The move allowed Mylan to cut its U.S. effective tax rate from 9.4 percent in 2013, the year Congress helped protect its market dominance, to negative 4.7 percent in 2015, according the group Americans For Tax Fairness.
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/mylan-pushed-for-law-to-make-epipens-mandatory-in-us-schools-then-fled-overseas-to-avoid-taxes/


This is a stupefying level of evil here. Heather Bresch knew damn well what she was doing, and then fled the country. WTF. We live in the Matrix.

Stephen Colbert Tests The Validity Of The Clinton E-Mail "Scandal"



Top 10 Conservative Idiots #39: #HoorayFreedom Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #39: #HoorayFreedom Edition

Ed. Note - Before we get started this week - sorry folks – computers are shitheads. I had this whole thing planned for Sunday but my computer went down, and so I will post what I had meant for Sunday as well as this week, since there’s a possibility I won’t be here on Wednesday, and hopefully we’ll get back on schedule.

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey Google and Ad Choices, please stop asking me to visit advertiser because we both know that ain’t happening. Unless they sponsor my show then I would love to visit advertiser! Just sayin’. We are back! You know last week we had our special all Donald Trump edition and we ended with Mitch McConnell in the “People Who Somehow Got Elected” segment. And you know we’re getting back to normal here after the all Trump edition. So how many people are watching the Olympics? You know I thought we were going to get a shit storm in Rio but it seems like things are running smoothly, other than the swimming pool turning into a toxic green color, but apparently the IOC and the government of Brazil was like “OK it’s fine to swim in!”. But I’m getting frustrated with the coverage I’m seeing here – literally every time I turn on the TV, the only thing I see is volleyball or basketball. Can NBC show any other sports please? But I think we can all agree that we were won over and enamored with the Irish rowing team who won the gold medal in that contest Sunday. Can we show that?



That has to be the most Irish interview I’ve ever seen. But the Olympics have been great haven’t they? Well mainly not NBC’s coverage. You know it would be nice to turn on the Olympics and be able to watch sports other than volleyball or basketball which seem to be on nearly every single time I turn on the TV. Let’s get right down to it shall we? But first after the RNC, DNC, and a couple of weeks in between, John Oliver is back in true form and completely owns Donald Trump by comparing him to a character from a children's book called "The Kid Who Ran For President":



So where do we begin this week? First off, I was tipped off to a Donald Trump Tweet generator, which we will be using to our advantage not just here but throughout the Top 10. You can have some fun with this too: http://faketrumptweet.com/ . And we are going to have some fun with this! While returning champion Donald Trump won’t be occupying the top 2 slots this week like he normally does, this week instead we are awarding the top 2 slots to Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort (1, 2). It seems that Manafort’s name appeared at the top of a payroll ledger for a pro-Russian group based in the Ukraine and that has everyone talking, including Hillary Clinton herself. Taking up the third, fourth, and fifth slots of course is Donald J. Trump (3, 4, 5). In the third slot we’ll talk about Donald Trump’s health – a mysterious letter has surfaced from Trump’s doctor and reports are it may have been forged. While in the fourth slot we’re going to talk about how Donald Trump called Obama the founder of ISIS and he’s still not done with his attacks on Khzir Khan. And in the fifth slot we’re going to talk about the republicans and charities, among other Trump madness. In the number 6 slot we’re going to bring back “How Is This Still A Thing” and ask – body shaming – how is this still a thing? Specifically Fox News, Donald Trump and Matt Drudge are age shaming Olympians and Hillary Clinton, among other atrocities. In the number 7 slot is Republican Sexists (7). It starts with Milo Yiannopoulos. You may remember him as the smooth talking jackass who got kicked off Twitter for harassing Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones, but guess what? He’s back! Meanwhile Rush Limbaugh is convinced Obama is gearing for a takeover of lesbian farmers. Hey I’m for it! And for more than just body shaming. At number 8, the Bathroom Police (8) are back and not going away any time soon. So sigh… federal trans bathroom guidelines got rejected again and we’ll tell you all about it. In the number 9 slot (NEIN!!!) Stephen Anderson wants to challenge you to an arm wrestling competition to prove he’s not gay. No seriously! Finally this week we’re going to take the Top 10 Mystery Machine to Rio for a special Olympic episode. What exactly happened with Ryan Lochte at a Brazillian gas station? As we delve into this mystery, the answer is going to surprise you! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


Paul Manafort


So in case you were living under a rock last week, you know that Donald Trump basically told his followers to go 2nd amendment on Hillary Clinton. Whatever that means. Let’s roll tape on that shall we?



But here’s something you didn’t know – something that got lost in the headlines last week. And it’s quite possibly batshit insane. So the Trump campaign is in turmoil, and you might be asking what is going on with his campaign manager? Well let’s first go back to last April when Trump fired his former campaign manager and hired Paul Manafort, and we’ll explain to you who exactly Mr. Manafort is:

Strangely, the HUD scandal proved a marketing boon for the firm. An aide to Mobutu Sese Seko told the journalist Art Levine, “That only shows how important they are!” Indeed, Manafort enticed the African dictator to hire the firm. Many of the world’s dictators eventually became his clients. “Name a dictator and Black, Manafort will name the account,” Levine wrote. (Levine’s piece, published in Spy, featured a sidebar ranking the ethical behavior of Washington lobbyists: It found Black, Manafort the worst of the bunch.) The client list included Philippine strongman Ferdinand Marcos (with a $900,000 yearly contract) and the despots of the Dominican Republic, Nigeria, Kenya, Equatorial Guinea, and Somalia. When the Center for Public Integrity detailed the firm’s work, it titled the report “The Torturers’ Lobby.”

His lobbying helped convince Congress to send Savimbi hundreds of millions in covert aid. Indeed, every time Angola stood on the precipice of peace talks, Manafort, Black worked to generate a fresh round of arms—shipments that many experts believe extended the conflict. Sen. Bill Bradley was blunt in assigning blame. “When Gorbachev pulled the plug on Soviet aid to the Angolan government, we had absolutely no reason to persist in aiding Savimbi. But by then he had hired an effective Washington lobbying firm, which successfully obtained further funding.” Or as Art Levine concluded, “So the war lasted another two more years and claimed a few thousand more lives! So what? What counts to a Washington lobbyist is the ability to deliver a tangible victory and spruce up his client’s image.”
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/04/paul_manafort_isn_t_a_gop_retread_he_s_made_a_career_of_reinventing_tyrants.html


Holy shit! No wonder Donald Trump wants to hire this guy – he would be the perfect guy to spearhead a campaign that’s built on trying to keep people out of this country! Or any country for that matter given what he’s done to Angola. So why is he all of a sudden in the news?

In the hours since the New York Times uncovered millions of dollars in illegal secret cash payments made from a Vladimir Putin puppet to Donald Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, all hell has broken loose within the Trump campaign – and much of it is playing out in public for all to see. One of Trump’s top surrogates is publicly gloating over Manafort’s criminal connections, while another top Trump surrogate is publicly accusing a fellow Trump surrogate of “working for Hillary Clinton.”

The Trump campaign meltdown began late Sunday evening when the NY Times published the story exposing Manafort’s millions of dollars in hidden illegal payments from Vladimir Putin lackey Viktor Yanukovych. Corey Lewandowski, who had been Trump’s campaign manager until he was fired this spring and replaced with Manafort, tweeted out a link to the article as if to gloat about the fact that his replacement is being taken down by a corruption scandal. 3
http://www.dailynewsbin.com/news/trump-campaign-meltdown-paul-manafort-a-paid-russian-agent-roger-stone-attacks-corey-lewandowski/25660/


You know replacing one guy in your entourage who's been embroiled by scandal with another, is kind of like drinking VitaminWater - you know it's not healthy but it sure as shit isn't good for you! But there's more and I feel like we're living in the Matrix.



But there’s more to this. Oh no, we’re not done.

Donald Trump's behavior in recent days - from criticizing the parents of a fallen American soldier to declining to endorse House Speaker Paul Ryan- has strained the nerves of his campaign staff as he falls behind in the polls.

I exchanged messages this evening with a longtime ally of Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, who I asked about who was calling the shots in the campaign. The response indicated that Manafort, a veteran of Republican politics brought in this spring for the transition from primaries to the general election, has lost control over his candidate.

"Manafort not challenging (Trump) anymore," Manafort's ally wrote. "Mailing it in. Staff suicidal."

http://www.cnbc.com/2016/08/02/ally-of-trump-staffer-paul-manafort-the-staff-is-suicidal-hes-mailing-it-in.html


Ouch. So you’re saying “suicidal” is not the term you want to hear when you’re running for president of the United States! I say a pox, a pox on thee, good sir / madam!!



Nyuk! Nyuk! NyuK! Whooooo whoooo!! So what does Hillary Clinton think about this whole spiel? Well here’s what Mrs. Clinton had to say about that:

" Clinton campaign press secretary Robby Mook issued a late-night statement on the bombshell in the recent New York Times detailing Donald Trump’s campaign chair Paul Manafort and his questionable dealings in Ukraine.

Mook notes that the comes just before Trump is scheduled to give a major foreign policy address Monday on what his strategy will be if he is elected as president.

“We have learned of more troubling connections between Donald Trump’s team and pro-Kremlin elements in Ukraine,” Mook said in the statement. “Given the pro-Putin policy stances adopted by Donald Trump and the recent Russian government hacking and disclosure of Democratic Party records, Donald Trump has a responsibility to disclose campaign chair Paul Manafort’s and all other campaign employees’ and advisers’ ties to Russian or pro-Kremlin entities, including whether any of Trump’s employees or advisers are currently representing and or being paid by them.”

more at: http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/clinton-campaign-responds-to-shocking-revelations-about-paul-manaforts-pro-kremlin-ties/


Ouch. But we’re still not done – in fact here’s what else you need to know about Mr. Manafort – this is very long but well worth looking into:

In 1980. Manafort co-founded Black, Manafort, Stone and Kelly (BMSK), a powerhouse beltway lobbying firm alongside partners Stone, a longtime Trump confidante, and Charles Black, a leading strategist in the John Kasich campaign. One of its most lucrative clients was Jonas Savimbi, leader of UNITA, the pro-Western rebel army fighting the Communist government in Angola. Manafort helped make Savimbi a heroic figure among conservative Washington think-tanks, and aided him in securing hundreds of millions of dollars in aid from the Reagan and Bush Administrations, money that never brought victory.

In the mid-1980s, the regime of Ferdinand Marcos, the dictator of the Philippines, paid BMSK $950,000 a year to lobby for funding, as well as polish his blackened reputation among lawmakers, with Manafort serving as his chief advocate. Another top client was Mobutu Seko of Zaire, renowned as the quintessential corrupt African dictator. Manafort even sought to recruit Siad Barre, the strongman of Somalia. In her book “Choosing the Hero,” Riva Levinson recalls that Manafort asked her assistance in luring Barre. When she objected on ethical grounds, the boss explained: “We all know he’s a bad guy, but he’s our bad guy!”
http://fortune.com/2016/08/15/5-things-you-need-to-know-about-paul-manafort/





Paul Manafort


So the Donald Trump campaign has essentially become a revolving door of shit at this point. Here’s what Hillary Clinton had to say about it:

" Clinton campaign press secretary Robby Mook issued a late-night statement on the bombshell in the recent New York Times detailing Donald Trump’s campaign chair Paul Manafort and his questionable dealings in Ukraine.

Mook notes that the comes just before Trump is scheduled to give a major foreign policy address Monday on what his strategy will be if he is elected as president.

“We have learned of more troubling connections between Donald Trump’s team and pro-Kremlin elements in Ukraine,” Mook said in the statement. “Given the pro-Putin policy stances adopted by Donald Trump and the recent Russian government hacking and disclosure of Democratic Party records, Donald Trump has a responsibility to disclose campaign chair Paul Manafort’s and all other campaign employees’ and advisers’ ties to Russian or pro-Kremlin entities, including whether any of Trump’s employees or advisers are currently representing and or being paid by them.”

more at: http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/clinton-campaign-responds-to-shocking-revelations-about-paul-manaforts-pro-kremlin-ties/




And if there’s anything that the Trump campaign needs, it’s PR. I mean if you’re going to attack Hillary Clinton for some e-mails, what about the, I don’t know, 22 million that went missing from the Bush administration? Where’s the outrage there?

22 million RNC emails erased from a private server. I don't recall an intense scrutiny or "outrage" like Hillary is getting. And many of those, no doubt, were communications regarding the lead up to the illegal Iraq invasion.

http://www.pbs.org/weta/washingtonweek/web-video/missing-white-house-emails





But now what? When you have a campaign surrounded in turmoil, where do you go from there? Well who does Trump replace Manafort with? Well….

The problem with Paul Manafort, it turns out, was not that he was a shill for allies of the Kremlin. It’s that he tried to turn Trump into a respectable-ish general election politician. Now that Manafort has received a de facto demotion, to be replaced by Steve Bannon, the executive chairman of Breitbart News, we can expect to see Trump drop any pretense of cleaning up his act. Instead, he’s reportedly going to amplify the combative persona and ethno-nationalist message that won him the GOP primary:

Costa adds that this “gloves off” strategy entails “brutal fights with Clinton” and “heavy emphasis on nationalism and populism.” Breitbart is, after all, the online world’s biggest cheerleader for Trump and the home of the political alt-right. Bannon, whom Bloomberg once dubbed “the most dangerous political operative in America,” once chided Fox News for being too liberal. As we barrel toward election day, it looks like the campaign has decided to let Trump be Trump.
https://newrepublic.com/minutes/136108/latest-campaign-shakeup-trump-pivoting-meaner-nastier-trump


Oh man wouldn’t American politics be so much better with a steel cage death match?





Donald Trump


Before we get started on all things Trumpenfuror this week, OMG, I love this story. So there’s a Fox News correspondent who’s claiming that Obama and Clinton are purposefully “baiting” Trump to say stupid things on a regular basis. Uh no… sorry. Trump himself says stupid things on a daily basis:

Kimberly “Kill them all” Guilfoyle regularly dives off the deep end of our fact-filled universe, is now blaming President Obama and Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton for all the stupid things Donald Trump says. The Trump apologist claimed Friday on Fox News’ The Five,

“It’s like the most unholy partnership of all time between the Obama Administration, Hillary Clinton, constantly making comments trying to bait Trump into saying something that will sidetrack him.”

Where to begin? First of all, what she is really complaining about is that to Trump’s ridiculous and unfounded claims, Obama and Clinton respond with reason, logic, and a whole lotta fact. Not the sort of stuff Trump wants put up against the tall tales he’s busy spinning.
http://www.politicususa.com/2016/08/13/kimberly-guilfoyle-accuses-obama-clinton-baiting-trump-stupid.html




I like that one. But I have to give props to the Donald Trump Fake Tweet Generator, which you can find at http://www.faketrumptweet.com , and you can make it say anything you want and it will come out as a Donald Trump Tweet. Like this:



Why thank you Trumpenfuror! Well Donald J. Trump – you know him as the guy who headed the reality show The Apprentice and kept Meatloaf and Gary Busey from killing each other:



By the way, if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend going to check out Seth Rogen’s hilarious new animated flick Sausage Party. *Spoiler alert* There’s a scene where a literal piece of meatloaf is singing Meatloaf’s signature song “I’ll Do Anything For Love”. That tells you all you need to know about this movie.



That one never gets old. Getting back to our possible future President Third World Dictator Donald J. Trump, you know that republicans hate this thing called “facts”. They also hate these things called “logic” and “reason”.

According to Sykes, any attempts to continue fighting back against misinformation is dismissed with complaints that he has “sold out,” adding, “Then they’ll ask what’s wrong with me for not repeating these stories that I know not to be true.”

Sykes warned “There’s got to be a reckoning on all this.”

“We’ve created this monster,” he warned. “Look, I’m a conservative talk show host. All conservative talk show hosts have basically established their brand as being contrasted with the mainstream media. So we have spent 20 years demonizing the liberal mainstream media. And by the way, a lot has been justifiable. There is real bias. But, at a certain point you wake up and you realize you have destroyed the credibility of any credible outlet out there.”

“And I feeling, to a certain extent, that we are reaping the whirlwind at that,” he continued. “And I have to look in the mirror and ask myself, ‘To what extent did I contribute?'”
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/conservative-radio-host-weve-created-this-monster-of-fact-hating-right-wing-voters/




But you know failed presidential candidate and Donald Trump speech stage prop Chris Christie it was revealed that Christie might have picked up the tab for one of Trumpenfuror’s failed business ventures – his New Jersey casino:


http://lasvegassun.com/news/2016/aug/17/trump-casinos-tax-debt-was-30-million-then-christi/

By the time Chris Christie became governor of New Jersey, the state’s auditors and lawyers had been battling for several years to collect long-overdue taxes owed by the casinos founded by his friend Donald Trump.

The total, with interest, had grown to almost $30 million. The state had doggedly pursued the matter through two of the casinos’ bankruptcy cases and even accused the company led by Trump of filing false reports with state casino regulators about the amount of taxes it had paid.

But the year after Christie, a Republican, took office, the tone of the litigation shifted. The state entertained settlement offers. And in December 2011, after six years in court, the state agreed to accept just $5 million, roughly 17 cents on the dollar of what auditors said the casinos owed.

Tax authorities sometimes settle for lesser amounts to avoid the costs and risks of further litigation, legal experts said, but the steep discount granted to the Trump casinos and the relationship between the two men raise inevitable questions about special treatment.




This is my new favorite thing.

But there’s more to this thing – what did Donald Trump have to do with this mysterious letter? Did he write it? And what do we make of this? No one is Superman or Khan.

What are “astonishingly excellent” laboratory test results? I’m a doctor, and I don’t know. Is it astonishing that a 70-year-old man has normal results? All his results are exactly average which is good — but wait, I thought his tests are all positive?

And while we’re at it, doctors just don’t say “laboratory test results” that sounds like something on a soap opera.

5. Doctors don’t say “test score” — we just give the results.

The conventional way to reference PSA would be PSA 0.81 ng/ml (normal < 4 ng/ml). A test score is something that happens at the DMV.

6. How did Dr. Bornstein test Donald Trump’s strength and stamina?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-gunter/im-a-doctor-heres-concerning-trumps-medical-letter_b_11565838.html





Donald Trump


Buyer’s Remorse. That thing you get when you get really wasted, go on iTunes and then the next morning you wake up and find out you purchased 15 Bon Jovi albums including 3 greatest hits collections. I didn’t know Bon Jovi had that many albums! I just wanted to hear “You Give Love A Bad Name” because I was very poorly singing along to it at karaoke last night! Well Donald J. Trump doesn’t know that term and I don’t think the GOP does either. Look at what one pundit has been saying –first look at what he said in February of this year during the straw poll:

That’s my choice. They’re making a stand in Iowa today, and I want to do the same.

Incredibly, unbelievably, after these months of debates and speeches, it’s Trump. He’s the one. He’s who America needs.

And I think he is going to roll to victory, not just through the primaries, but in the general election as well. He’s going to take it Andrew Jackson style, in a populist rising that is as much about giving the finger to the establishment as it is about backing him.

I started out thinking he was a joke.

Having seen him play the toe-in-the-water game too many times, I thought his pretensions of a campaign were ludicrous. Back then, I wanted Mitt Romney to run again.
http://wham1180.iheart.com/onair/bob-lonsberry-3440/im-for-trump-14330733/




And then look at what he said last week – man the hypocrisy reeks here!

Donald, you dumb son of a bitch.

You've destroyed yourself, and you're about to take the rest of us down with you.

Do you understand that?

Tens of millions of Americans invested in you, not because they gave a damn about you, but because they love their country. And because you convinced them you could lead their country out of the doldrums of decay created by progressive globalists.

They bought into you. A whole political party bought into you.

And you crapped the bed.

You've gotten so stupid, so decidedly self-destructive, that it doesn't seem like an accident. It seems like you're a political suicide bomber, intent on destroying not just the Republican Party, but also the United States.
http://wham1180.iheart.com/onair/bob-lonsberry-3440/lonsberrytrump-fish-or-cut-bait-15007706/


Yes you did asshole!!! You helped create this problem! You get to fix it!



But that guy is right in that Donald Trump continues to shoot his mouth off and say things that are as batshit crazy as what came before it. Like last week for example. Can we roll tape on that?





I like that one. So here’s what happened:

Washington (CNN)Indiana Gov. Mike Pence said Donald Trump was being "serious" when he spoke this week about President Barack Obama being the "founder" of ISIS, saying that the GOP nominee "getting people's attention."
Speaking with "Fox News Sunday," Trump's running mate was asked to clear up whether Trump was being sarcastic, as he tweeted on Friday, or being serious, as he said multiple times throughout the week.
"I think he was being very serious," Pence said. "He was making a point that needs to be made, that there is no question that the failed policies of President Barack Obama and then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, in the wider Middle East, created a vacuum within Iraq in which ISIS was able to arise."
http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/14/politics/mike-pence-donald-trump-isis-serious/




I am having way too much fun with this thing. But there’s more! You know who is backing Donald Trump’s controversial statements? Why if you guessed it was Israeli terrorist-ish group Hezbollah, you are correct good sir / madam! Points!

Donald Trump has apparently found an unlikely espouser of his allegation President Obama was the “founder” of the Islamic State (ISIS).

Hassan Nasrallah, leader of the militant Hezbollah group, said at a rally in southern Lebanon Saturday that Mr. Trump's statement, which the Republican presidential nominee has since backed away from, was was factual, reported Al-Manar, a Lebanese TV outlet.

"This is an American presidential candidate who is saying this. What he says is based on facts and documents," said Mr. Nasrallah, adding that Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton were responsible for the destabilization of the region that created ISIS.
http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Middle-East/2016/0815/Hezbollah-s-leader-backs-Donald-Trump-on-Obama-founding-ISIS


And of course Trumpenfuror is, like a good republican, denying that he didn’t say those things that he said – calling it “sarcasm” which I don’t think he quite gets the definition of:

Washington (CNN)Donald Trump on Friday attempted to walk back the widely criticized false claim he repeatedly made over the last two days that President Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were "co-founders" of ISIS -- saying he was being sarcastic.
Trump tweeted Friday morning that the media was missing his sarcasm.

"Ratings challenged @CNN reports so seriously that I call President Obama (and Clinton) "the founder" of ISIS, & MVP. THEY DON'T GET SARCASM?" Trump wrote.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/12/politics/donald-trump-obama-clinton-isis-founder-sarcasm/







Donald Trump

Can Donald Trump seriously go 5 whole minutes without making an ass of himself? I mean here he is calling for the end of the Clinton Foundation. I mean seriously what the fuck:

Donald Trump is calling for the Clinton Foundation to be “shut down immediately.”

The Republican nominee issued a statement Monday morning saying the foundation is “the most corrupt enterprise in political history.”

“Hillary Clinton is the defender of the corrupt and rigged status quo. The Clintons have spent decades as insiders lining their own pockets and taking care of donors instead of the American people. It is now clear that the Clinton Foundation is the most corrupt enterprise in political history. What they were doing during Crooked Hillary’s time as Secretary of State was wrong then, and it is wrong now. It must be shut down immediately.”

The call comes following Republican accusations that Clinton gave foundation donors special treatment and access while she was secretary of State.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2016/08/22/trump-end-clinton-foundation/89094714/




If he’s going to blast the Clinton charity for doing the wrong thing, shouldn’t he be blasting a lot of charties for doing the wrong thing? I mean just this week Gabby Giffords and her anti-gun charity endorsed a republican candidate who got an A+ rating with the NRA!

The gun control group founded by Gabby Giffords and her husband, Mark Kelly, has endorsed two Republican Senators in tough re-election fights as it seeks to expand its outreach.

In an op-ed on CNN Monday, Americans for Responsible Solutions backed Sens. Pat Toomey of Pennsylvania and Mark Kirk of Illinois, who are both facing tough re-election races in a year in which Democrats hope to regain control of the Senate.

The two sitting Senators voted in favor of gun control proposals after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, where 20 children were killed.

“In the wake of the tragedy at Sandy Hook, Republican Sens. Pat Toomey and Mark Kirk broke from the gun lobby and supported a bill to help prevent felons, domestic abusers and the dangerously mentally ill from obtaining firearms at gun shows and online,” wrote Giffords and Kelly in the op-ed.

http://time.com/4461211/gun-control-pat-toomey-mark-kirk-gabby-giffords/




But you know Donald Trump isn’t the only guy on his campaign who’s hurling insults left and right. I give you the latest staff addition – Kellyanne Conway. We got a great big Conway across the USA! Come on sing it with me!

Donald Trump’s new campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, claimed Sunday that the GOP presidential nominee does not personally insult people.

George Stephanopoulos, host of ABC News’ “This Week,” showed Conway a series of video clips of her attacking Trump while she was supporting Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) during the primary. (Conway ran a super PAC backing Cruz’s candidacy.)

In one of the excerpts, Conway said she was not backing Trump because he “hurls personal insults.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kellyanne-conway-trump-personal-insults_us_57b9ad98e4b03d513688ea6f?section=&




Oh and guess who Donald Trump hired as his foreign policy expert? Why it’s a conservative idiot hall of famer – Michelle Bachmann!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!

Tea Party firebrand Michele Bachmann says she is advising Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump on foreign policy.

The former Minnesota congresswoman attended a fundraiser in the state for Trump on Saturday, where she revealed to the press that she has his ear on foreign policy.

“He also recognizes there is a threat around the world, not just here in Minnesota, of radical Islam,” she said, according to MPR News. “I wish our President Obama also understood the threat of radical Islam and took it seriously.”

Read more: http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/292126-michele-bachmann-advising-trump-on-foreign-policy






Matt Drudge


Time once again to ask:



Body shaming – how is this still a thing? And also the Drudge Report – how is this still a thing? I thought Matt Drudge was scraping the bottom of the barrel during the Bush administration but nope he’s back and getting better ratings than ever. And he’s been busy age shaming Hillary Clinton:

The Drudge Report on Sunday highlighted a months-old photo of Hillary Clinton slipping on a flight of stairs to suggest that the Democratic nominee’s health may be failing.

Photos released by Reuters and Getty in late February showed two men holding Clinton by the arms after she slipped on a staircase while campaigning in South Carolina ahead of that state's primary. As CNN’s Brian Stelter noted, right-wing Twitter users began circulating the images on Saturday night, mocking Clinton’s supposed frailty with no mention of when those photos were taken.

By Sunday, a right-wing blog called The American Mirror published a post about the “SHOCK PHOTO” that called Clinton “unstable” and asked when the “mainstream media” would question the former secretary of state’s “health status.”

Drudge quickly picked up the thread that afternoon, posting the image in a splash on his site's homepage along with a link to the American Mirror story and the headline “Hillary Conquers The Stairs.” As of Monday morning, the post had been moved just below the splash. Neither the original article nor The Drudge Report had been amended to note that the photo was over six months old, or that the caption on the image said that she had simply slipped.

Instead, Drudge supplied several links to previous spills Clinton had taken, dating back to 2009.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/drudge-questions-hillary-clinton-health-old-photo




How is this different from the amount of times Ted Nugent has threatened Hillary Clinton or Harry Reid or President Obama? That seems to happen about once a year – conservatives recycle the same jokes more than most animated programs do. So this brings us to the subject of age shaming. Yes, we here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots are guilty of it given how many times we’ve attacked Clint Eastwood and posted “get off my lawn” graphics. So what are you going to do? Fight us about it? I thought liberals were supposed to be pacifist! Well there’s more – in fact Donald Trump is so guilty of body shaming that one street artist in New York decided to protest by creating a nude statue of Trumpenfuror. And in the interest of good taste, no, we won’t show pictures.

What has been seen, the saying goes, cannot be unseen, and for Indecline, a self-professed “anarchist art collective”, that was surely the point: on Thursday, the group installed five life-size effigies of Donald Trump, the Republican presidential candidate, in five cities across the US that left nothing to the imagination.

If you have none yourself, the title helped you out. The Emperor Has No Balls, the group gleefully dubbed it, stealth-installing duplicates of the naked Trump in New York, San Francisco, Cleveland, Seattle and Los Angeles. Each lasted barely an hour before being removed, but in an era where viral image-sharing precludes the fact of actually being there, that was more than long enough. The thousands of naked Trump selfies pinging around the social mediasphere made avoiding the gruesome spectacle impossible. Naked Trump is a part of us now, a perpetual presence forever an ill-fated Google image search away.
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2016/aug/19/naked-donald-trump-statue-satire-ageist-body-shaming


And by the way if you don’t have a strong stomach, we here at the Top 10 do not recommend Google image searching with the safe search turned off.



But there’s more. In fact not just age shaming but body shaming as well. There’s enough of this in your news feed that it should make your stomach turn:

An ad campaign touting a new featherweight laptop from HP is being denounced by some who find its slogan to be a body-shaming insult to anyone who isn’t skinny.

“This kind of advertising promotes fatphobia and negative body image. #ShameOnYouHP,” notes body-image author and activist Virgie Tovar on Instagram, where she has a loyal following of more than 13,600.
https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/does-power-thinnest-ad-campaign-000000314.html


Um………………………………. They do realize they’re talking about laptops right?

https://www.yahoo.com/sy/ny/api/res/1.2/.yCxRagxg4wA6iC.3tDahg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NzQ0O2g9NDg3O2lsPXBsYW5l/



And that didn’t stop Fox News and the NBC Olympic coverage from asking whether or not gold medal winners should be wearing makeup when they accept their awards:

Then, there was this “Should Female Olympians Wear Makeup?” segment on Fox’s “Sports Court,” featuring former New York city detective Bo Dietl and conservative radio host Mark Simone. It was certainly interesting, especially for those of us who have always wondered what Bo Dietl thought about what we should be doing with our faces. Which, we think, is probably no one. Tamara Holder, the show’s host (who, full disclosure, is a friend), opened up the segment:
We all know the old adage ‘sex sells.’ Well now, female Olympians are sexing it up more than ever by wearing makeup during their competitions. Some say this is about empowerment. Well, really? Do women who are elite athletes need to wear makeup to feel stronger, or is it simply a fashion statement?

The segment intended to address a recent USA Today article, “The empowering reasons why female athletes are wearing makeup during the Olympics,” which, despite the eyeroll of a headline, was sort of nice and cool and had a neat story about runner Shannon Rowbury wearing red or pink lipstick as an homage to her Nonnie. Most of the women interviewed wore makeup for the same reason we wear makeup, and we are basically a Professional Feminist. They like it and think it’s a fun way to express themselves. As far as we’re concerned, this should be the end-all and be-all reason to wear makeup. And it’s all good, so long as we also work toward making sure there isn’t a mandate to wear makeup and that women who choose not to are allowed to embrace their own choice.
http://wonkette.com/605476/nbc-and-fox-news-very-concerned-about-the-cosmetic-choices-of-female-olympic-athletes#A1aYcckq6xzliyh6.99




And what does Donald Trump think of this?

”That’s because women who don’t wear makeup are the worst women. See under my watch, we'll only have the best women who wear the best makeup because that's what winners do. The stupid losers who don't wear makeup are going to be locked up in a camp, and we'll build a wall around it. Because if America is going to keep winning, it only needs the beautiful people. Look at Sweden - they win all the time, and they're represented by nothing but beautiful people. So that's how America wins - we kick the ugly stupid losers out and put only the prettiest in charge! Trump out!"



This is of course Fox News, the network headed by Roger Ailes – if the GOP were in fact the evil empire, he would be Jabba The Hutt. In fact I’m surprised he doesn’t have his own bikini clad Princess Leia tied up somewhere:

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/roger-ailes-funneled-millions-in-fox-news-funds-for-shady-firms-to-harass-his-victims-report/

The hits just keep on coming for former Fox News head Roger Ailes, with a report that he used Fox funds to run a “Black Room” operation at the company’s headquarters where investigators and public relations staffers investigated and plotted again the executive’s personal enemies.

According to Gabriel Sherman, writing for New York Magazine, an investigation is under way at Fox looking into how Ailes spent millions of dollars to settle sexual harassment lawsuits with virtually no oversight, which might have set off alarms.




That’s enough to make you ask – body shaming:




Republican Sexists


We need some appropriate music for this entry. Can we get that please?



Well you know, because this jackass claims that Paul Feig ruined our childhood. Ya know. But Milo Yiannopoulos may be permanently banned from Twitter because of harassment, but that doesn’t shut him up:

Months after he was supposed to give away more than $100,000 for college scholarships, Milo Yiannopoulos says all of the money is still sitting in his bank account.
Yiannopoulos promised in January to create a college scholarship fund for “white men who wish to pursue their post-secondary education” that would be awarded in “early summer 2016.” The fund has raised somewhere between $100,000 and $250,000 to date, Yiannopoulos told The Daily Beast via email.

But the Yiannopoulos Privilege Grant has not filed any paperwork to become a charity in the United States. When asked if an application for tax-exempt status had been sent by his lawyers to the Internal Revenue Service, Yiannopoulos said, “I’ll check.”

While the group vowed that an application page would open on the website by the spring of 2016, it has yet to appear as of this writing. The grant’s website currently states that “applications are not yet open” and “please do not write to us if you are a prospective Grant applicant.”

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/08/19/breitbart-editor-milo-yiannopoulos-takes-100-000-for-charity-gives-0.html


Now I don’t want you to think the Top 10 is all about negativity! No sir / madam! In fact we try to put a positive spin on things. To be fair, Milo won his own scholarship contest! Bravo well done!




But my favorite episode in this week in *cue reverb* NEW ADVENTURES IN REPUBLICAN SEXISM!!! One of our favorite punching bags here – Rush Limbaugh – thinks Obama is riling up America’s lesbian farmers for a hostile takeover:

Remember back in the day when wingnut hate radio wackaloon Bryan Fischer said he wished Michelle Obama would focus one of her health initiatives on solving the problem of beefy lesbians? Well apparently Michelle’s husband Bamz heard the call, so he invented a secret program to get those ladies moving, specifically on farms! Yes, Rush Limbaugh has revealed an Obama conspiracy, and it focuses on the LGBT Rural Summit, a big gay hootenanny thrown by the Department of Agriculture and the National Center For Lesbian Rights (NCLR), to support LGBT families living in rural areas. Sounds harmless enough, right? That’s because you’re not Rush Limbaugh, hallucinating because the Oxycontin ran out probably and his Dominican houseboy has been playing hard-to-get, allegedly.

Rush explained that this is all part of President Obama’s master plan to magically turn lesbians into farmers, so they can destroy rural, conservative America from the inside out, as they scream Melissa Etheridge songs at the top of their lungs through the aisles of the Home Depot, while they are buying all the things they need for their farms. How does this Free Farms For Lezzies clandestine program work, Rush?
http://wonkette.com/605735/rush-limbaugh-so-mad-obama-creating-army-of-lesbian-farmers-to-destroy-america



The Bathroom Police


Sigh… the bathroom police are back. And this time it’s not a good thing. Originally I was going to take this space to remind everyone of what happened when the DEA went against Obama’s recommendation of loosening federal restrictions on marijuana sales and usage, but as long as we’re going to repeatedly deny a group of people their rights why don’t we talk about what the GOP is doing to trans people once again?

A federal judge on Sunday blocked the Obama administration from enforcing new guidelines that were intended to expand restroom access for transgender students across the country.

Judge Reed O’Connor of the Federal District Court for the Northern District of Texas said in a 38-page ruling, which he said should apply nationwide, that the government had not complied with federal law when it issued “directives which contradict the existing legislative and regulatory text.”

Judge O’Connor, whom President George W. Bush nominated to the federal bench, said that not granting an injunction would put states “in the position of either maintaining their current policies in the face of the federal government’s view that they are violating the law, or changing them to comply with the guidelines and cede their authority over this issue.”

The judge’s order, in a case brought by officials from more than a dozen states, is a victory in the continuing legal battles over the restroom guidelines, which the federal government issued this year. The culture war over the rights of transgender people, and especially their right to use public bathrooms consistent with their gender identities, has emerged as an emotional cause among social conservatives.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/23/us/transgender-bathroom-access-guidelines-blocked-by-judge.html




And that’s not the only thing the bathroom police have been doing this week. In fact remember when batshit crazy lunatic fringe religious groups like Focus On The Family and the American Family Association promised to boycott Target because of their pro-trans bathroom policy (the opposite of what Jesus would do) ? Well…

Target's $20 million answer to transgender bathroom boycott

Target, facing a boycott over its policy of allowing transgender customers and employees to use the bathroom of their choice, says it will spend $20 million to expand bathroom options at all of its U.S. stores.

Target (TGT) CFO Cathy Smith said Wednesday that the company has heard objections to the transgender bathroom policy from some customers, though she said other customers had voiced support. In response, Target has decided to expand its use of a third, single-toilet bathroom at all of its stores, which can be locked by users.
http://money.cnn.com/2016/08/17/news/companies/target-bathroom-transgender/


Hey AFA…



But there’s still more in the war on bathrooms. In fact we go to my home state of California for this one:

A Southern California barbershop has agreed to settle a lawsuit brought against the business by a transgender man who said he was denied service and told "we don't cut women's hair," local media reported on Friday.

Under the settlement filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, management of Hawleywood's Barber Shop & Shaving Parlor in Long Beach agreed to halt any future discriminatory practices and to pay the plaintiff an undisclosed amount, the Los Angeles Times reported on its website.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-california-barbershop-lgbt-idUSKCN10U2AP


How is this still a thing?



Although some good news last week – BYU may not be admitted to the Big 12 because of their anti-LGBT policies:

Several LGBT advocacy groups are urging the Big 12 not to admit BYU as an expansion school, according to a letter obtained by ESPN.com.

The news was first reported by FOX Sports.

In the letter, dated Aug. 8, Athlete Ally, a non-profit organization that raises LGBT awareness in sports, sent a letter to Big 12 commissioner Bob Bowlsby to express its concerns about the Big 12 candidacy of BYU, which is owned and operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
http://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/17251009/big-12-urged-lgbt-advocacy-groups-not-admit-byu-expansion-school


Excellent!

And remember when I said I would post a real sex crime every time the bathroom police felt the need to harass innocent trans people? Well they did not disappoint in our absence last week:

GOP Stockton Mayor Anthony Silva, who has held official town hall meetings at an anti-gay megachurch and who ceremoniously gave the key to the city to God (who did not attend), has been arrested on multiple charges including secretly recording a male teenager playing a game of strip poker in his bedroom at a summer camp. Sacramento’s NBC affiliate reports:

Silva, 41, was charged with eavesdropping or recording confidential communications, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, providing alcohol to a minor and cruelty to a child by endangering health, according to court records. The incidents for which Silva is being charged happened between Aug. 5 and Aug. 9, 2015, at the Stockton Silver Lake Camp, according to the Amador County District Attorney.

The arrest stems from a September 2015 FBI investigation where Silva’s cell phone was seized by Homeland Security investigators at San Francisco International Airport as he got off a flight from China. One of the clips on Silva’s phone contained audio of several people during a strip poker game in Silva’s bedroom at the camp, the Amador County district attorney said. One of the participants was 16 years old.

Silva was arrested today at the camp where the 2015 incidents allegedly occurred. But wait there’s more: http://www.joemygod.com/2016/08/04/california-gop-mayor-arrested-recording-teens-playing-strip-poker-bedroom-video/


And this is the Mayor of Stockton!!!!




Stephen Anderson


Controversial hate church pastor Stephen Anderson is no stranger to controversy or idiocy. In fact he’s one of the original idiots that inspired the Top 10 revival. You might remember after all the shootings that took place last year that he wanted to ban rock concerts. But now, my friends, the tables have turned! Now he might actually get banned from South Africa because of his violent hate speech! Let’s explore:

Durban - The Ministry of Home Affairs appears to be dragging its heels on a decision on whether to ban anti-gay US pastor Steven Anderson from entering the country next month.

The ministry was placed on terms to make a decision on the matter last month by the South African Human Rights Commission, which sent a letter to Minister Malusi Gigaba and director general Mkuseli Apleni.
http://www.iol.co.za/news/south-africa/kwazulu-natal/heel-dragging-on-ban-of-anti-gay-pastor-2058026


Let’s stop there. Who is complaining about Anderson? Well it’s the LGBT community of course.

The commission, which had received complaints about the visit from outraged lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) communities, asked the ministry to make a decision based on legislation that allows a person to be banned for being “undesirable”.

The commission received no reply to its first letter and a second was sent on August 2.

On social media, people have commented that the ministry’s handling of the Anderson complaint appears to be in contrast with the way the government dealt with several visa applications by the Dalai Lama.

While the SA government has denied that it refused the Dalai Lama’s visa applications, it has been reported that the religious leader’s trips to SA in 2009, 2012 and 2014 were cancelled after his visa application was not processed or delayed for so long that he would not have obtained a visa in time.

Anderson, who is scheduled to preach in Johannesburg on September 18 according to his church’s website, is widely known for his anti-gay sentiments on social media.




Here’s some of his greatest hits in case you’re unaware:



And:



Although even he hates whackjob conspiracy theorist Alex Jones:



But what else has the hate church pastor been up to? Well I love this story. Apparently he’s so afraid of “the gheys” that he will stoop to challenging an arm wrestling competition to prove his manliness. Any female or gay body builders or strong arm competitors out there want to take him up on the challenge? I’ll gladly start a Go Fund Me for your plane ticket out there!

Pastor Stephen Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Ariz., said in a sermon last week that he gets an email on his phone every day calling him “misogynistic.”

“What a stupid word.” he says. “This is like a new word.”

Why are people calling Pastor Anderson this “stupid” word? It might have something to do with his habit of demanding women arm wrestle him to prove their superiority.
http://fusion.net/story/334269/arizona-pastor-arm-wrestling/







Ryan Lochte


Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, LGBT and gender non conformers, let’s get in the Top 10 Mystery Machine! Come on let’s go!



That said we need some appropriate music for this. Hit it Steve!



And how great was Katy Perry’s theme song Rise? That makes me want to go out and do some international diplomacy.



That sounds like a James Bond theme doesn’t it?



Go away Trump. So the Olympics is a thing that is happening in Rio De Janeiro this week and next week, and we got to talk about this Ryan Lochte situation. This has been almost as all over the news as Donald Trump has. So this is the news as it originally broke and as we go down the wormhole it’s going to get scarier and scarier. Kind of like walking outside the Olympic village if you’re visiting Rio.

U.S. Olympic swimmers Ryan Lochte, Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and Jimmy Feigen were robbed at gunpoint while in Rio de Janeiro overnight Saturday, NBC News has confirmed.

Following conflicting reports — including the IOC denying any incident took place — Lochte himself confirmed with TODAY's Billy Bush that he and the other swimmers were robbed at gunpoint.

"We got pulled over, in the taxi, and these guys came out with a badge, a police badge, no lights, no nothing just a police badge and they pulled us over," Lochte said. "They pulled out their guns, they told the other swimmers to get down on the ground — they got down on the ground. I refused, I was like we didn't do anything wrong, so — I'm not getting down on the ground.
http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/2016-rio-summer-olympics/u-s-swimmer-ryan-lochte-robbed-gunpoint-brazil-n630396


Now you might be thinking who in their right fucking mind would rob a gold medal winner at gun point? Well to answer you good sir / madam, we are going to need some appropriate music for this:



*Turns on Casey Kasem impression* It turns out, good sir / madam that Ryan Lochte wasn’t robbed at gun point at all. If you look at what has come out of this, it gets weirder and weirder. Let’s continue:

Ryan Lochte and three other U.S. Olympic swimmers lied about being robbed at gunpoint in Brazil over the weekend, according to a report.

Citing Brazilian authorities and sources in Brazil, Matt Gutman of ABC News said Thursday that Lochte and his teammates “fabricated” the robbery story after fighting with a security guard at a gas station.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/olympics/report-lochte-teammates-fabricated-robbery-story-after-fight/ar-BBvMd9o?li=BBnb7Kz


Whoa! Let’s stop there for a minute. Let’s go to the next story shall we?

“I think they’re all shaken up. There were a few of them,” Ileana Lochte told Rachel Axon of USA Today Sports. “No, they were just, they just took their wallets and basically that was it.”

Lochte’s mother said Ryan called her immediately after the incident and said it was “terrifying.” The six-time gold medalist told Ileana that he was in a cab heading to a party he had been invited to by Brazilian swimmer Thiago Pereira when the cab stopped for gas. Lochte said he and the people he was with were confronted by people who were holding guns and knives. They took the swimmer’s wallet, but he was not harm
http://larrybrownsports.com/olympics/ryan-lochtes-held-at-gunpoint-rio/317228


That’s right! He was terrified and shaken up! So why are we not sad? Well………

Gutman’s report Thursday morning appeared to contradict Lochte’s account of the alleged robbery.

Later Thursday, the gas station owner told Brazil’s O Globo news the U.S. quartet urinated on his Shell franchise’s walls in Rio’s Barra da Tijuca neighborhood at the time in question. Meanwhile, the British Daily Mail reported a security guard drew a gun at the swimmers after they drunkenly “destroyed a gas station toilet and refused to pay for the damage.” The swimmers then reportedly paid.

The video footage released by O Globo shows the four U.S. swimmers retreating into an alley on the property before returning to their taxi. At that point, someone approaches the vehicle, the swimmers get out, and they’re led to a landing outside the gas station, where they sit with their arms raised.
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/report-ryan-lochte-u-s-swimmers-fabricated-armed-robbery-story-140805637.html


That’s right! Ryan Lochte and his friend busted up a gas station and were being pulled over by the police who just happens to be brandishing their guns!



But we’re still not done! The Brazillian government wants Ryan Lochte’s passport but he was too busy, oh, I don’t know fleeing the country!

RIO DE JANEIRO — Rio police said four U.S. swimmers lied about being held up at gunpoint Sunday morning.

“No robbery was committed against these athletes. They were not victims of the crimes they claimed,” Fernando Veloso, chief of civil police, said during a news conference Thursday afternoon.

Police said the swimmers were confronted by security guards carrying guns after leaving a party at the French hospitality house. The latest developments in the case led to more questions and confusion about the swimmers' account of what happened when they said they were robbed at gunpoint.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/08/18/ryan-lochte-swimmers-fabricated-story-robbed-gunpoint/88946508/




And he’s apparently everything that foreigners hate about Americans:

Turns out that Hope Solo didn’t clinch the title of “Worst Person at the Olympics” after all. She only insulted her competition and former coach, moments after a heartbreaking loss.

What Lochte did is far worse. He fabricated a story to cover his own butt, and in doing so played on all the fears and stereotypes his Brazilian hosts have been trying to allay. He caused panic among the visitors. He caused an international incident.

Lochte, 34, is a four-time Olympian. What motivated him to make up such a story is beyond my - and probably your - imagination. Was he just scared of Mommy? The story started with his mother telling reporters that Lochte had told her he had been robbed.

http://www.sfchronicle.com/news/article/Lochte-legacy-most-embarrassing-American-Olympian-9170745.php?t=0e8ef5f14d




And of course the internet being the internet turned Lochte’s douchebaggery into comedy:

Ryan Lochte bolted from Rio de Janeiro, leaving three U.S. Olympic swim teammates to explain to Brazilian authorities just what happened in an incident, now being debunked by authorities, in which Lochte claimed they were robbed at gunpoint.

It’s like Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve at 12:05 for the Internet.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp/2016/08/18/internet-takes-ryan-lochtes-mess-turns-it-into-memes/


My favorite one is this one:

:large

But why Mr. Lotche, why? And he would have got away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!

And Now This:
Kanye West Writes A Poem About McDonalds

You know we've got a bonus for you for putting up with all this madness. So Kanye West, America's foremost expert on the auto tune, opened a pop up shop for his self-proclaimed album of the year "The Life Of Pablo" which you can buy for $20 there. Which The Verge took the liberty of illustrating:

Frank Ocean finally dropped his much-anticipated album Blonde this weekend, along with a limited companion zine called Boys Don't Cry that came with some physical copies of the album. The zine features artwork from collaborators, personal essays and interviews, and a poem about McDonald's by none other than Kanye West.

Accompanying the poem are artsy shots of Kanye picking up McDonald's drive-thru in a very expensive-looking car, which, like, same. As a fellow McDonald's lover, I felt moved by Kanye's poem. So moved, in fact, that I decided to illustrate the story. You can read it as a bedtime story to your children or to yourself, if you need to be reminded of the dangerous temptation of McDonald's fries.
http://www.theverge.com/tldr/2016/8/22/12586016/kanye-west-mcdonalds-poem-frank-ocean-boys-dont-cry-zine


https://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/WlQasY7P3mcn9zhKYq7Zi8CCSs0=/800x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/6975893/mcdonaldsman1.0.png



And here's a video of a guy actually reading it in a McDonalds:





See you next week and hopefully in our regularly scheduled time slot!

John Oliver Exposes The Sleazy Underground World Of Used Car Loans



Top 10 Conservative Idiots #38: Wheel Of Corruption VIII: The Wrath Of Khan Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #38: Wheel Of Corruption VIII: The Wrath Of Khan Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! And no, I will not “Shazam” for more. Whatever that is. We are back in our home ladies and gentlemen! And this is the kind of audience you would get with a brand new Wednesday edition! Boy remind me never to take a week off again! Because holy fuck did I almost miss doing Top 10 style commentary on what could be the biggest cluster fuck of the Donald Trump campaign so far. And while I was putting together this edition, Donald Trump went and fucked up again, this time literally taking aim at Hillary Clinton. So this might be our biggest edition ever and I know I say that every time but bare with me. So we’re going to do something quite a bit different for this edition and that is that you guys and gals, frequent viewers of the Top 10 know that I always save the craziest thing for spot number 10 each week. And the reason I love doing that is because it gives me a chance to talk about off topic and non political stuff. But this week because the Donald Trump vs. Khan fight is the craziest story of the week, we are going to throw out our usual nonsense and dedicate all 10 slots to Donald Trump this week. That’s right – Donald Trump is taking not one, not two, not three, but all 10 slots! So to kick things off on this all Trump edition this week, we’re going to have Bill Maher explain to you why Donald Trump is the 1950s candidate of choice:



So where do we begin this week? So we’re going to bring back the wheel in order to tell of the biggest fuck up of the Donald Trump campaign so far. Donald Trump is of course taking up all 10 slots this week plus we have a bonus idiot for you. Obviously the first two slots are going to go to Donald Trump (1, 2) and his ongoing feud with the Khan family over his “support” of our fallen soldiers. Bravo, well done Trump, take a bow. Plus we have some late breaking news for you. Taking the 3rd slot, Donald Trump loses the feud between him and Mr. Khan, and is continuing to dig his own grave in the presidential race. In the number 4 slot, we’re going to show you the relationship between Donald Trump and Paul Ryan – and it’s not a very good one. In the number 5 slot we’re going to talk more random insanity surrounding the Trump campaign. At number 6 we’re going to talk about Donald Trump and his number 1 celebrity endorsement – Clint Eastwood. It seems Clint is sticking by Trumpenfuror after the whole Khan fiasco. In the number 7 slot we’re going to talk about Donald Trump’s (7) denouncement of our “pay to play” campaign finance system then announced his team of all male economic experts! At number 8 - we are going to talk about Donald Trump’s (8) wife Melania and her immigration status, among other things she might be lying about. At number 9 (NEIN!!!) I was originally going to cover Donald Trump and his sons' expensive hunting excursion to Canada, but we have to talk about this whole threatening Hillary Clinton thing. It's a fuck up too big to ignore and it cannot wait until next week. Finally this week we’re going to end on the lighter side and talk about Donald Trump (10) and the $400 million conspiracy theory, and we're also going to talk about Donald Trump and the Olympics - lots of craziness there. And we have a bonus idiot for you who’s not named Donald J. Trump. And to do this we’re going to bring back “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. And the subject? None other than Kentucky senator Mitch McConnell. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


Donald Trump


Come on everybody say it with me – it’s time for the: WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!!!

And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. The wheel is back everybody!! yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:
- Gun Nuts
- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Poison
- Poison (The Band)
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Morally Bankrupt
- Satan
- Chance
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Food
- Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Constitution
- Guns
- VR Headset
- Babies
- Late Breaking News
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Fox News
- Rocky
- 15,000
- Star Trek
- Congress
- Memorials
- Conspiracy Theories
- Khan
- Something random in the news
- ??? (Mystery)
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin
Let’s get going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Clip without context!



Jesus… throwing veterans under the bus are you, Trumpenfuror? Well by now you should be well aware of the feud brewing between our possible future president Donald J. Trump and the family of fallen Islamic American soldier Humayun Khan, who lost his life defending America back in 2004 during a war that, as far as I last checked, is still going on! Well this is turning out to be quite the epic feud, and The Donald is firing on all fours, and well, failing big fucking time. Pass the butter.

In his first response to a searing charge from bereaved Army father Khizr Khan that he’d “sacrificed nothing” for his country, Donald Trump claimed that he had in fact sacrificed by employing “thousands and thousands of people.” He also suggested that Khan’s wife didn’t speak because she was forbidden to as a Muslim and questioned whether Khan’s words were his own.

“Who wrote that? Did Hillary's script writers write it?” Trump said in an interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos. “I think I've made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard.”

On the last night of the Democratic National Convention on Thursday, Gold Star father Khizr Khan, his wife Ghazala by his side, recounted to the crowd how his son was killed in 2004 by a car bomb in Iraq.

Khan also chastised Trump for seeking to ban Muslims from entering the country, saying that his son, U.S. Army Capt. Humayun Khan, would not have been able to serve under a Trump presidency.

Read more: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-father-fallen-soldier-ive-made-lot/story?id=41015051




So this whole thing started when Khan was invited to speak at the DNC and then denounced Donald Trump and his anti-Islamic policies. I mean if you can’t support our nation’s US-born Islamic soldiers, who can you support? Well…

Khizr Khan, who denounced Trump at the Democratic Convention, said “an ethical, moral stand has to be taken, regardless of the political costs.”

Khan, the father of Muslim-American war hero Army Capt. Humayun S.M. Khan, who was killed in action in Iraq, implored Republican leaders of the Senate and House to disown their presidential nominee, Donald Trump, once and for all.

Appearing in his living room with his wife on MSNBC, Khan stared unwaveringly into the camera with watery eyes and asked Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.): “Isn’t this time to repudiate Trump?”

“If your candidate wins and he governs the way he has campaigned, my country, this country, will have constitutional crises never before in the history of this country, and my conscience compels me under these very difficult circumstances,” Khan said. “But there is so much at stake, and I appeal to both of these leaders, this is the time. There comes a time in the history of a nation where an ethical, moral stand has to be taken regardless of the political costs. The only reason they’re not repudiating his behavior, his threat to our democracy, our decency, our foundation, is just because of political consequences.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/khizr-khan-paul-ryan-mitch-mcconnell_us_579c1d52e4b0693164c1726f


Holy shit. He scared Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan shitless. But we’re still not done with the first part of this clusterfuck. So now the GOP is firing on all fours *AGAINST* Khan. I mean smear campaign is a go, people!!! So who have they got as an ally? How about RNC interrupter Roger Stone?

According to former Trump campaign staffer and key confidante Roger Stone, Democratic convention speaker Khizr Khan isn’t really just a father of a fallen soldier, he’s a Muslim Brotherhood sleeper agent hellbent on protecting Hillary Clinton.

Stone tweeted his theory Sunday night.

@RogerJStoneJr Mr. Khan more than an aggrieved father of a Muslim son- he's Muslim Brotherhood agent helping Hillary http://linkis.com/shoebat.com/2016/07/amTCP

The url in Stone’s tweet links to a website run by anti-Islam pundit Walid Shoebat, and co-run by his son Theodore Shoebat. The Shoebats argue that “Khan is a Muslim plant working with the Hillary Clinton campaign, probably for the interest of Muslim oil companies as well as Muslim immigration into the U.S.”
(…)
The site even attacks Captain Humayan Khan, the decorated soldier who died serving in Iraq. “In regards to his son, many were the ‘Muslim martyrs’ who joined the US military…” they argue. “Is it likely that Khan’s son was killed before his Islamist mission was accomplished? Only another type of investigation will determine that.”
http://www.mediaite.com/online/trump-ally-capt-khans-father-is-a-muslim-brotherhood-agent-helping-hillary/


?w=600


So to follow their logic – Khan was a devout Muslim. He served in the US Army. Therefore – he And remember – this is the guy whose claim to fame was that he was in a political sex scandal working for the Bob Dole campaign! Bob Dole!!! Why is my voice getting so high?



Conservatives really love has-beens, don’t they? But here’s the really fucked up thing about all of this – in pure Donald J. Trump fashion, he didn’t just keep up with the insults hurled at Khan, he doubled down:

Republican nominee Donald Trump, facing backlash over his controversial remarks about the family of slain Army Capt. Humayun Khan, continued to aggressively push back against critics this morning.

"Mr. Khan, who does not know me, viciously attacked me from the stage of the DNC and is now all over T.V. doing the same - Nice!" Trump tweeted today in reference to an appearance that Khizr Khan and Ghazala Khan, the slain soldier's parents, were making on CNN's "New Day."

Khizr Khan used the opportunity to praise his son, describing him as a "wonderful, patriotic, deliberate" person. He criticized what he said was Trump's ignorance of the Constitution and said that Trump wanted "one set of rights for himself and another set of rights for others," referring to the First Amendment.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-doubles-criticism-khan-family-blow-back-continues/story?id=41041166





Donald Trump


Spin it to win it! And it lands on……………………… KHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!





Spin it again. And it lands on, well, morally bankrupt. Which is exactly what Donald Trump is. So let’s talk about how low Donald Trump’s polling numbers are among the African American community before we get into more Khan talk.

WASHINGTON ― Rounding out one of the worst weeks in his presidential campaign, Donald Trump faces yet another sad reality. According to new NBC/Wall Street Journal polling released Thursday, only 1 percent of black voters nationally support the Republican nominee.

This is the lowest level of support ever recorded among the demographic, indicating that a sentiment already present among black voters in swing states is widespread. Trump also suffers among Hispanic voters, garnering just 26 percent of their vote, according to an Economist/YouGov poll released earlier this week.

Generating support among voters of color ― whom Trump’s rhetoric habitually alienates ― is key to winning the general election. People of color constitute nearly one-third of eligible voters, making the 2016 electorate the most diverse in U.S. history. This renders it essential for Trump to secure higher numbers of those votes in order to win. President Barack Obama won 93 percent of the black vote and 71 percent of the Hispanic vote nationally in 2012; in 2008, he won over 95 and 67 percent, respectively. The most recent Republican president, George W. Bush, won over 11 percent of African-Americans and 44 percent of Hispanics support in 2004; in 2000 he won 9 and 35 percent, respectively.
Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/black-voters-trump_us_57a4a2a1e4b021fd98784a42





So getting back into the Khan madness – no, we’re still not done. We have a lot to cover here.

In an interview today with a local ABC affiliate in Columbus, Ohio, Donald Trump suggested that what angered critic Khizr Khan was Trump's aggressive efforts to prevent terrorists from entering the country.

"It's a very big subject for me, border security is very big. When you have radical Islamic terrorists probably all over the place, we’re allowing them to come in by the thousands and thousands. And I think that’s what bothered Mr. Khan more than anything else. And, you know, I’m not going to change my views on that. We have radical Islamic terrorists coming in that have to be stopped. We’re taking them in by the thousands.”
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-khan-was-mad-i-ll-keep-out-terrorists


Awwwwwwwwwww… Donald Trump thinks he can keep out terrorists by banning Muslims. Isn’t that special?



And it gets better – my favorite part of this whole feud has been that Trump thinks that he’s “made a lot of sacrifices”. “I’ve made a lot of sacrifices. I have made the best sacrifices. Nobody makes better sacrifices than I do.”

(CNN)Donald Trump rejected a Muslim lawyer's assertion on the Democratic convention stage that the Republican nominee has "sacrificed nothing and no one."

"Who wrote that? Did Hillary's script writers write it?" Trump said in an interview with with ABC News' George Stephanopoulos that will air Sunday. "I think I've made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard."

Khizr Khan, whose son Army Capt. Humayun Khan died in Baghdad in 2004, delivered one of the most powerful speeches of the Democratic National Convention. With his wife Ghazala at his side, Khan repeatedly blasted Trump's immigration proposals -- specifically those aimed at barring Muslims -- and said the billionaire businessman has "sacrificed nothing and no one."

Trump, in the ABC interview, said in response, "I've created thousands and thousands of jobs, tens of thousands of jobs, built great structures. I've had tremendous success. I think I've done a lot."

http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/30/politics/donald-trump-khizr-kahn-response/index.html


Well he certainly didn’t serve in the military. He didn’t become a self made millionaire. So what sacrifices has Donald Trump made? #Trumpsacrifices




But oh no – we’re still not done! This is getting better and better. I can talk about these stories all night, give me some butter! This is turning into an all out brawl between Khzir Khan and Trump. Round 1!

Khizr Khan on Tuesday accused Donald Trump of dodging the Vietnam War draft, and said he shouldn't have accepted a Purple Heart given to him at a rally earlier in the day, deeming it the latest sign of his inability to empathize with parents of fallen soldiers.

"You dodged the draft," Khan, a Muslim whose son was slain in the Iraq War, said of Trump to CNN's Anderson Cooper. "Put that Purple Heart back on that person's chest."

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/02/politics/khizr-khan-donald-trump-purple-heart/index.html


Advantage: Khan!! Round 2:

The Twitterverse is trying to teach Donald Trump's spokeswoman Katrina Pierson a sassy history lesson.

In an interview with CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer, Pierson blamed President Obama and Hillary Clinton for the 2004 death of Army Capt. Humayun Khan. However, Khan died while George W. Bush was president — four years before Obama was elected.

Now, #KatrinaPiersonHistory has been used more than 31,000 times, sarcastically claiming Obama was to blame for key moments in history.

The feud between Donald Trump and Ghazala and Khizr Khan, the parents of a U.S. soldier killed in Iraq, has dragged on in the days since they appeared at the Democratic National Convention and criticized the real estate mogul for “smears” of Muslims. Trump’s reactions have only led the issue to snowball as other Muslims and military groups call out Trump for what they call disrespect toward the Gold Star family.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-spokeswoman-blames-obama-for-captain-khans-death/ar-BBvb3JC?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout


Trump wins this round. Round 3!

http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/31/politics/khizr-khan-donald-trump-black-soul/

Washington (CNN)Khizr Khan, the father of a Muslim US soldier slain in Iraq in 2004, said Sunday that Donald Trump has a "black soul," indicating he lacks empathy and compassion.

Khan told CNN's Jim Acosta on "State of the Union" that he hopes Trump's family will "teach him some empathy."
"He is a black soul, and this is totally unfit for the leadership of this country," Khan said. "The love and affection that we have received affirms that our grief -- that our experience in this country has been correct and positive. The world is receiving us like we have never seen. They have seen the blackness of his character, of his soul."

Khan moved into the national spotlight after he pulled out a pocket copy of the Constitution during his speech at the Democratic National Convention. He said Trump would have barred his Muslim family from entering the United States.
Khan said Sunday Trump's "policy, his practices, do not reflect that he has any understanding of the basic, fundamental constitutional principles of this country."


Khan wins this round! Round 4!


The Clinton campaign became aware of Khan's story while preparing for her December speech in Minnesota. According to multiple aides, a member of Clinton's speech writing team came across a print interview where Khizr Khan described the 10 steps that his son, Humayun, took before his death.
It was immediately clear, aides said, how powerful Khan's story was.
"If you want to see the best of America," Clinton said, "you need look no further than Army Capt. Humayun Khan."
Shortly thereafter, Democratic Party representatives contacted Khizr Khan to ask if they could pay tribute to his son's memory at the party's mid-year meeting, Khan told CNN this week.
He agreed............
http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/04/politics/2016-election-khizr-khan-donald-trump-muslim-ban/index.html


Khan wins! It’s a TKO!!!




Donald Trump


Spin it to win it! And it lands on………… wait for it………….. Clip without context!



Spin it again! Donald Trump. So Donald Trump lost the one-man war against Khzir Khan, and we’ve already covered this extensively, but let’s cover exactly how far he dug himself into a hole. There’s:

Donald J. Trump’s unabashed and continuing hostility toward the parents of a slain Muslim American soldier, and his attacks on Republican leaders who have rebuked him for it, threaten to shatter his uneasy alliance with the Republican Party at the outset of the general election campaign.

Ignoring the pleas of his advisers and entreaties from party leaders in Washington, Mr. Trump only dug in further on Tuesday. He told a Virginia television station that he had no regrets about his clash with Khizr and Ghazala Khan, the parents of an Army captain killed in Iraq. And in an extraordinarily provocative interview with The Washington Post, Mr. Trump declined to endorse for re-election several Republicans who had criticized him, including the House speaker, Paul D. Ryan of Wisconsin, and Senator John McCain of Arizona, who both face primaries this month.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/03/us/politics/donald-trump-gop.html?_r=0




And how far else has he gone? Well….

Donald J. Trump’s unabashed and continuing hostility toward the parents of a slain Muslim American soldier, and his attacks on Republican leaders who have rebuked him for it, threaten to shatter his uneasy alliance with the Republican Party at the outset of the general election campaign.

Ignoring the pleas of his advisers and entreaties from party leaders in Washington, Mr. Trump only dug in further on Tuesday. He told a Virginia television station that he had no regrets about his clash with Khizr and Ghazala Khan, the parents of an Army captain killed in Iraq. And in an extraordinarily provocative interview with The Washington Post, Mr. Trump declined to endorse for re-election several Republicans who had criticized him, including the House speaker, Paul D. Ryan of Wisconsin, and Senator John McCain of Arizona, who both face primaries this month.

He also belittled Senator Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire, who had criticized his treatment of the Khans, for not being supportive of his campaign.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/03/us/politics/donald-trump-gop.html?_r=0


Just keep digging there, Trump. You’ll reach the bottom of the earth eventually.



There’s always that. But how does Donald Trump’s campaign feel about this?

Following a week of high-profile blunders, Donald Trump’s antics have left the chair of the Republican National Committee “apoplectic” and his own aides “suicidal,” according to several reports.

RNC Chair Reince Priebus was reportedly “apoplectic” over Trump’s bucking the party line by refusing to back House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) or Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) for re-election and called several of Trump’s staffers to voice his discontent, according to NBC's Katy Tur.

A longtime ally of top Trump staffer Paul Manafort also told CNBC’s John Harwood that Manafort is “not challenging Trump anymore” and is “mailing it in,” while the campaign staff is “suicidal."

NBC News’ Peter Alexander tweeted that an anonymous source confirmed “it’s all true” about Harwood’s reporting and that the situation is “way worse than people realize.” Manafort, for his part, denied Harwood's report.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/rnc-chair-trump-staff-implosion-after-week-of-blunders


Yes, the campaign is in turmoil. And they certainly don’t need Will Smith laying the smack down on Trum and his fans:

http://www.someecards.com/news/politics/will-smith-trumps-treatment-of-women/

Sixteen years into the Willennium, Earth is reckoning with the candidacy of one Donald J. Trump, and Will Smith is outraged over his treatment of women.

Making the rounds promoting his new film Suicide Squad (in case you haven't already seen the trailer before every YouTube video), Smith spoke up about the way Trump speaks about womankind.

“For a man to be able to publicly refer to a woman as a fat pig, that makes me teary. And for people to applaud, that is absolutely f**king insanity to me,” an emotional Smith told Australia's news.com.au.





Donald Trump


Come on spin that shit…. Stop! And it lands on……….. babies!



Oh wait, that was a clip from the hilarious 2012 Will Ferrell flick “The Campaign” (if you haven’t seen it yet I highly recommend doing so!). Here’s the clip I was looking for:



You know if we’re going to kick a crying baby out of a Donald Trump rally, shouldn’t we start at least with the guy who’s speaking at the podium? Hey o!!!!



And by the way I think even Trumpenfuror has a low opinion among babies if these photos are any indication:





Spin it again! Congress. You know the funny thing about that baby clip from the Trump campaign so far? He ejected a crying baby after saying he loves babies. “The best babies come from Trump tower… I love babies!!!”. So what about another big baby in government? I’m of course talking about House speaker and current stand-in for White Goodman in the Dodgeball sequel, Paul Ryan. So did Paul Ryan endorse Donald J. Trump for president and did Donald J. Trump endorse Paul Ryan in his reelection bid, or did neither of these things happen?

Donald Trump is refusing to back House Speaker Paul Ryan in his upcoming primary election, saying that he is “not quite there yet” in endorsing his party’s top-ranking elected official, the Washington Post reports.

In fact, Trump praised Ryan’s underdog opponent, Paul Nehlen, for running “a very good campaign.”

Said Trump: “I like Paul, but these are horrible times for our country. We need very strong leadership. We need very, very strong leadership. And I’m just not quite there yet. I’m not quite there yet.”

https://politicalwire.com/2016/08/02/trump-refuses-to-support-ryan-in-primary/


But Donald Trump didn’t endorse Paul Ryan in his reelection bid! In fact there’s far more to this than it may seem:

Washington (CNN)Donald Trump is testing just how far he can push his unconventional campaign without wrecking it.
The Republican nominee shattered traditional political boundaries Tuesday when he told The Washington Post he isn't backing House Speaker Paul Ryan or Sen. John McCain as they face primary challenges. The two leading Republicans seemingly angered Trump with their denunciation of his criticism of the family of a slain Muslim US soldier.

Trump's comments -- delivered to a newspaper he's banned from attending his events since mid-June -- capped a bizarre day on the campaign trail that also included asking for a crying baby to be removed from a rally and causing a stir over Purple Heart recipients.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/03/politics/donald-trump-paul-ryan-john-mccain-election-2016/




And we’re still not done yet. Why yes Donald Trump does indeed think that the former head of the CIA is a – and I’m quoting – “Clinton – Obama pawn”.

After former CIA head Mike Morell endorsed Hillary Clinton for president in an op-ed and accused Donald Trump of being an unwitting agent of the Russians, Trump hit back in a statement denouncing Morell as just another Clinton pawn.

“Hillary Clinton and President Obama bear the direct responsibility of destabilizing the Middle East, having let ISIS take firm hold and Iraq, Libya and Syria, not to mention their allowing Americans to be slaughtered at Benghazi,” Trump began.

“Clinton’s home email server that she lied to the American people about was a profound national security risk, and it should come as no surprise that her campaign would push out another Obama-Clinton pawn (who is not independent) to try to change the subject in a week when Clinton’s role in putting Iran on the path to nuclear weapons and this Administration’s being called out for sending $400 million in cash to the world’s largest state sponsor of terrorism is on every front page in the country,” he continued.

“Hillary Clinton has bad judgment and is unfit to serve as president,” Trump concluded simply.
http://www.mediaite.com/election-2016/trump-hits-back-at-former-cia-chief-mike-morell-another-obama-clinton-pawn/


Wow, the guy who has literally been calling just about everyone and everything names, said horrible shit about the family of a deceased soldier, is calling Hillary “unfit to serve”?




Donald Trump


Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Wow, another clip without context! Steve?



Detroit Rock Titties!




Spin it again. Donald Trump. So one question that hasn’t been asked yet of supporters of possible future president Donald J. Trump – why do you not care about the facts? Well the Washington Post has some answers:

How did Donald Trump win the Republican nomination, despite clear evidence that he had misrepresented or falsified key issues throughout the campaign? Social scientists have some intriguing explanations for why people persist in misjudgments despite strong contrary evidence.

Trump is a vivid and, to his critics, a frightening present-day illustration of this perception problem. But it has been studied carefully by researchers for more than 30 years. Basically, the studies show that attempts to refute false information often backfire and lead people to hold on to their misperceptions even more strongly.

This literature about misperception was lucidly summarized by Christopher Graves, the global chairman of Ogilvy Public Relations, in a February 2015 article in the Harvard Business Review, months before Trump surfaced as a candidate. Graves is now writing a book about his research at the Rockefeller Foundation’s Bellagio Center in Italy.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/why-facts-dont-matter-to-trumps-supporters/2016/08/04/924ece4a-5a78-11e6-831d-0324760ca856_story.html?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-a%3Ahomepage%2Fstory




And we’re still not done with all the crazy stuff Donald J. Trump has been doing in the last week. I mean there’s nothing wrong with the Constitution right? I mean it’s the US Constitution! It’s the document that makes us, us! Well Donald J. Trump won’t have any of it:

Portland, Maine (CNN)A group of protesters at Donald Trump's rally here on Thursday stood up silently during the Republican nominee's speech and held up pocket copies of the Constitution.

They were quickly ejected by campaign staffers and drew fierce boos and jeers from the roughly 1,800 Trump supporters packed into the auditorium, the capacity of the venue.

The seven protesters held up pocket copies of the Constitution issued by the American Civil Liberties Union. It was not immediately clear whether the demonstrators were affiliated with a particular organization.

The ACLU responded on Twitter, saying: "Glad to see people are standing up for constitutional principles using their ACLU pocket Constitutions!"
http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/04/politics/donald-trump-protests-constitution/




But for those wondering about Donald Trump and the Constitution, why yes he does in fact hate free speech! Just like a good wannabe dictator should!

Voters on the political right finally believe they have found their weapon in beating back a scourge of social justice both online and in demonstrations across the country, and they believe that weapon is Donald Trump. To hear it told, the brash, supposedly un-PC outsider is just the ticket that conservatives need if they are to restore balance to the societal scale and end the shame-based culture of social justice. But a closer look at Donald Trump’s actions and words clearly show a disturbing pattern: Not only is he a long way from being the proud free-speech activist he claims to be, but he is in fact the most politically correct candidate running for the presidency in 2016.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/432848/donald-trump-opposes-free-speech-pc-left


That is some scary shit there. Yes Donald Trump has a right to say what he says, but is there such a thing as going too far?



But getting back to pocket constitutions – you know these are the same things that the Bundy bunch carried around with them when they declared themselves above the law. In fact there’s more to this than you might think. And of course just like everyone else Trumpenfuror doesn’t agree with, he had them removed:

Hillary Clinton also had to deal with protesters while stumping.

Donald Trump was interrupted numerous times on Thursday while stumping in Portland, Maine.

A group of people were removed from the event, all holding pocket Constitutions, a nod to the now-iconic moment by the father of a fallen U.S. soldier who spoke during the Democratic National Convention, blasting Trump for his anti-immigration rhetoric.

It appears at one point, one of the protesters had a whistle. The protesters were booed and called "traitors" as they were removed.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/protesters-pocket-constitutions-removed-donald-917336


And then this is my favorite part - Donald Trump says he would "absolutely debate Hillary Clinton" but he has conditions. And they're the best conditions. Nobody has better conditions than he does.

Donald Trump said Tuesday that he will commit to three debates this fall with Democratic rival Hillary Clinton, but may try to re-negotiate the terms that have been agreed upon by a bipartisan commission.

“I will absolutely do three debates,” Trump told TIME in a phone interview. “I want to debate very badly. But I have to see the conditions.”

“I renegotiated the debates in the primaries, remember? They were making a fortune on them and they had us in for three and a half hours and I said that’s ridiculous,” Trump said. “I’m sure they’ll be open to any suggestions I have, because I think they’ll be very fair suggestions. But I haven’t yet. They’re actually presented to me tonight.”

Read more: http://time.com/4445182/donald-trump-debate-terms/





Donald Trump


Spin it again! Cool, I get a bonus spin. And it lands on………… memorials. Damn. You know folks I have to pay my respects to one of the greats that we lost this last week. What has to be one of my favorite movies of all time – the Big Lebowski. RIP David Huddleston.

Huddleston, who portrayed another blowhard — Mayor Olsen Johnson, one of the many Johnsons in town — in the Mel Brooks comedy classic Blazing Saddles (1974), died Tuesday of heart and kidney disease in Santa Fe, N.M., his wife Sarah told The Hollywood Reporter.

In The Big Lebowski, inspired by the noirish work of Raymond Chandler, Huddleston played a multimillionaire (or so he appeared) who shared the last name of the film's protagonist, the hippie Jeff "the Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges). Julianne Moore portrayed his daughter.

In a career of more than 60 films, his breakthrough role came as a vicious gang leader with a sense of humor in Robert Benton’s directorial debut, the Civil War-set Bad Company (1972), which also starred Bridges.

Read more: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/david-huddleston-dead-big-lebowski-917418


If you haven’t seen the Big Lebowski it’s easily one of the best movies of the last 20 years. If you have seen it go rewatch it. What are you waiting for? Stop viewing my nonsense. Go watch a great movie and remember a great character actor. I’ll sit here and play Angry Birds while I wait.



Spin it again! Morally bankrupt. You know Donald Trump just can’t stop provoking Hillary Clinton, and every time he does he loses. So who is endorsing Donald Trump with a fiery fury like no other? Why it’s Mr. Dirty Harry himself – Clint “Empty Chair” Eastwood!

NEW YORK — Clint Eastwood has stopped short of endorsing Donald Trump, but in an interview in Esquire magazine he praised the Republican presidential candidate for being “on to something.”

In the interview posted online Wednesday, the actor-director hailed Trump as a foe of political correctness and lamented what he called “the kiss-ass generation.”

“Everybody’s walking on eggshells,” said Eastwood, 86. “We see people accusing people of being racist and all kinds of stuff. When I grew up, those things weren’t called racist.”
http://time.com/4438268/clint-eastwood-donald-trump-2016-election/?xid=homepage


Yes! The “Get Off My Lawn” guy doesn’t see racism. I mean it’s black and white folks. I mean… bad choice of words. I mean… um… shit!



But what is Donald Trump onto? He wasn’t exactly clear about that. And of course rather than apologize, he says “get the fuck over it”!

Clint Eastwood thinks America’s “pussy generation” needs to “just f–ing get over” Donald Trump’s “racism.”

In an interview with Esquire published Wednesday, the actor/director/producer said young America — which he has dubbed both the “kiss-ass” and “pussy” generation — needs to stop throwing the word “racist” around so freely.

“ onto something, because secretly everybody’s getting tired of political correctness, kissing up,” he said. “We’re really in a pussy generation. Everybody’s walking on eggshells. We see people accusing people of being racist and all kinds of stuff. When I grew up, those things weren’t called racist.”
http://www.thewrap.com/clint-eastwood-donald-trump-racism/


And the Khans were exploited at DNC:

Clint Eastwood, who spurred a social media storm with comments during his interview with Esquire magazine, says the grieving military family featured during the Democratic National Convention and then embroiled in a war of words with Donald Trump was “exploited” by the DNC.

“What do I care?” Eastwood said when a cameraman caught up with him after the social media firestorm and asked if he feared young people would stay away from his movies.
http://buzz.blog.ajc.com/2016/08/04/clint-eastwood-says-grieving-military-family-was-exploited-at-dnc/





Donald Trump


Spin it to win it! And it lands on…………… Chance! Let’s draw a card shall we?



Cool. I’ve been elected chairman of the board of directors. I may have to pay each of you $50, but I get that big $7,000,000 annual salary! And if I fuck up I get to leave the company with a $63,000,000 bonus and lifetime benefits like use of the private jet!



Damn. Spin it again! Donald Trump! Wait, didn’t we already do Donald Trump already? Is the wheel broken? Can we get my team out here to fix it again? I’ll wait.



OK we’re back! Well it is a wheel, it only has a finite number of items on it. So Donald Trump recently unveiled his all male economic team. Anyone remember that movie Dodgeball when they decide to hold a fundraising car wash and get crushed when some hot girls hold their own car wash across the street? I mean yeah this is kind of like that.

Donald Trump's campaign on Friday announced more than a dozen members of the Republican nominee's all-male economic advisory team, including several prominent real-estate investors, hedge-fund managers and bankers.

Names on the list, which the Trump campaign boasted as having "unparalleled experience and success in business" include Steve Roth, the founder and chairman of Vornado Realty Trust; oil and gas tycoon Harold Hamm; Vector Group President and CEO Howard Lorber; Steven Mnuchin, Trump's national finance director and chairman/CEO of Dune Capital; top fundraiser Tom Barrack, the founder and chief executive at Colony Capital; Stephen M. Calk, chairman and CEO of The Federal Savings Bank; John Paulson, president and CEO of investment firm Paulson & Co.; Andy Beal, a banker, businessman and poker player; and Steve Feinberg, co-founder and CEO of Cerberus Capital Management.
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/trump-economic-advisory-team-226709





And of course as you may have guessed they are his biggest donors:

After spending months scolding his rivals for being beholden to their financial backers, Donald Trump unveiled an economic advisory council last week — and filled it with some of his biggest donors.

Of the 13 men — and they are all men — that Trump touted as economic advisers for their “unparalleled experience and success,” five are major donors whose families combined to give Trump’s campaign and his joint fundraising account with the Republican Party more than $2 million. Two more have been pursued for campaign contributions.
Story Continued Below

Among those Trump tapped for his economic advisory council is Steven Mnuchin, who, as Trump’s national finance director, is the point man for soliciting campaign cash across the nation. Mnuchin gave Trump $425,000 at the end of June. Others big donors on Trump’s economic advisory team include:

— Stephen Feinberg, co-founder and CEO of Cerberus Capital Management, who contributed $339,400 to Trump Victory, the Republican’s nominee joint fundraising account with the national and state Republican parties. Feinberg's wife gave another $339,400.
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/trumps-economic-advisers-are-also-his-biggest-donors-226758


And in case you were wondering, why yes, Donald Trump’s economic advisors are the same group who ruined Kansas’ economy:

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/trumps-economic-team-is-loaded-with-the-same-tea-party-cranks-who-destroyed-kansas-economy/

By now, we all know that Governor Sam Brownback’s Tea Party “experiment” in Kansas has been an abject failure.

Actually, scratch that: There is someone who still thinks Brownback’s Kansas disaster has been a smashing success, and he happens to be a Heritage Foundation economist who is one of Donald Trump’s top economic advisers.

As the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities documents, top Trump economics adviser Stephen Moore has been instrument






Donald Trump


Entering the spin zone! Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows. Rocky! It seems nobody likes cold blooded murderers like George Zimmerman and Dylan Roof. So this happened:

The man who said he shot unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin in self-defense said he was punched in the face while he was talking to people at a restaurant in Sanford over the weekend.

George Zimmerman called 911 after a man accusing him of bragging about the fatal shooting punched him in the face, authorities said.
http://www.wftv.com/news/officials-george-zimmerman-punched-in-face-for-allegedly-bragging-about-killing-trayvon-martin/417278308


And in this corner:

The hate-filled racist accused of slaughtering nine black parishioners in a South Carolina church last year was roughed up Thursday in a jail bathroom, officials said.

Dylann Roof, who is white, was sucker-punched in the shower by a black inmate inside the Charleston County Detention Center around 7:45 a.m., according to Sheriff Al Cannon..
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/dylann-roof-assaulted-inmate-charleston-jail-article-1.2738424





Spin it again! My wife.



More specifically – Donald Trump’s wife. Melania. Who you know was caught plagiarizing and rick rolling the crowd at the RNC.



And who did they blame it on? Well specifically they blamed it on longtime speech writer Merideth McIver. Well, the good folks at Twitter found out that – wait for it – Merideth McIver doesn’t exist. Yay!!!!

http://www.dailynewsbin.com/news/twitter-suspends-account-of-melania-trump-speechwriter-meredith-mciver-who-probably-isnt-a-real-person/25566/

Days after Melania Trump gave a Republican National Convention speech which was plagiarized from an eight year old Michelle Obama speech, the Trump Organization laid the blame on her longtime speechwriter Meredith McIver. The trouble: no such person appeared to exist. Various pages depicting her life were discovered to have only been created after she was assigned the blame for the plagiarism, including a Twitter account which she primarily used to keep insisting that she was in fact a real person. But it appears that Twitter’s management has ultimately reached the opposite conclusion, suspending the account in question.




But that isn’t the only thing Mrs. Trump has been lying about. In fact she lies about everything and anything. Like what about the college she claims to have graduated from?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/melania-trump-college-claims_us_578dd95ce4b0c53d5cfac0dc?section=

Her bio on her professional site says she graduated, her biographers and wiki page says she didn't. Sounds like some major inconsistencies surfacing here.

-----my own take:

There is a growing contention that Mrs. Trump is lying about having completed college in Slovenia.

If this is true that means that a presidential candidate himself, Donald J. Trump, is most certainly involved in knowingly perpetuating that lie to the public.




Or what about her immigration status? Donald Trump’s arch nemesis Univision dropped a bombshell that Melania might not be a full naturalized immigrant:

Melania Trump told Larry King in an interview in 2005 that she had never been married before her nuptials to Donald Trump, but that doesn’t seem to be the whole story. An immigration attorney who works for the Trump Organization, Michael Wildes, who now backs that story, told Univision’s investigative unit that Melania had obtained a green card in 2001 “based on marriage.”

Wildes’s role in the Trump Organization as an immigration attorney was to ensure the legal entry into the United States of contestants in the Miss Universe pageant as well as models who worked for the Trump Organization. Univision confirms that they were told by Wildes that Melania’s green card had been secured on the basis of marriage to a U.S. citizen a full four years before she married the business mogul on January 22, 2005.

http://bipartisanreport.com/2016/08/06/breaking-univision-releases-devastating-melania-trump-green-card-bombshell-details/




But what’s even stranger is Melania isn’t providing specifics:

In the piece published Thursday morning, Politico pointed to interviews Trump gave describing the immigration process she used while working as a model in the U.S. before obtaining a green card. Trump described returning to her home country Slovenia every few months to have her visa stamped. Immigration lawyers pointed out that the process she described resembled that used by foreign nationals on a tourist visa, which does not permit them to work in the U.S. The most common visa granted to immigrants permitted to work in the U.S. is valid for three years and does not require visits back to one's home country every fews months to be re-stamped. There is a less common workers' visa that permits holders stay in the United States for up to three years, but that is typically granted only to workers at the upper echelons of their field and at the time in question, Trump was a low-level catalog model.

Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/melania-trump-immigration-response





Donald Trump


Spin that shit! And it lands on…………. Clip Without Context! Man there are a lot of these this week!



Because when one goes to a theme park that’s a giant replica of Noah’s Ark, the last thing they are looking for is logic and reason. Spin it again! How is this still a thing?



Big game hunting – how is this still a thing? Remember last year when that dentist killed Cecil The Lion and all the outrage there? Or how about that veterinarian who killed a feral cat with a bow and arrow and posted it on Facebook? Or when NRA board member Ted Nugent channeled his inner Rambo and mowed down pigs with a high powered automatic rifle from a helicopter? Well now Donald Trump and his sons are going to Canada to shoot animals for sport.

In the heat of the campaign – and during a particularly brutal week for their father — Donald Trump’s two sons suddenly disappeared. Donald Jr. and Eric, according to reports, left the country on a hunting trip.

Beyond that, curiously little is known. Bloomberg Politics reported that the trip was a fundraiser for a foundation run by family members of Tyrone Woods, a Navy SEAL slain in the Benghazi, Libya, attack. Various political reporters heard that they fled to the Yukon, a favorite hunting location of Donald Jr. He then posted an Instagram photo of himself with his son, which showed them in Canada for a “Father son trip” — but in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2016/08/06/the-trump-sons-go-hunting-again-will-more-trophy-photos-follow/


Oh shit!!! I'm being told we have some late breaking news to report! Let's go to that shall we?





Thanks NY Daily News, for saying what we're all thinking. What did Donald Trump imply in this clip?





Donald Trump on Tuesday warned his supporters that if Hillary Clinton were elected president and appointed members to the Supreme Court, there was nothing anyone could do about it – but then added that, given the Second Amendment, maybe there was.

“If she gets to pick her judges ― nothing you can do, folks,” Trump said at a Wilmington, N.C., rally with a shrug. “Although: the Second Amendment, people, maybe there is. I don’t know.”

What Trump was actually suggesting was not clear. However his veterans affairs adviser found himself in hot water when he said that Clinton should face a firing squad over her use of a private email server.

Trump’s campaign did not respond to queries about his remark, but at least one person attending the rally appeared to sense the comment was out of bounds.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-clinton-shoot_us_57aa2f6de4b0ba7ed23dd652


Holy fucking shit. He went there. And of course Mike Pence is pulling the "Move along, nothing to see here" card:

When asked about how he felt about Donald Trump's comments that “Second Amendment people” might be able to stop Hillary Clinton from appointing Supreme Court judges, Mike Pence jumped to his running mate's defense and denied that Trump meant the comments as a threat.

Shortly after Trump made those comments Tuesday at a rally in North Carolina, Pence joined other Trump surrogates trying to walk them back following his own campaign event in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/pence-trump-second-amendment-comment




But Trump supporters think it's just fine and dandy that Donald Trump actually called on his supporters to murder Hillary Clinton. And then there's of course Rudy Guiliani. Wait, this guy is still around? And yes he is shooting his mouth off:

Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani on Tuesday blamed the media for misinterpreting Donald Trump’s incendiary remarks about the ability of “Second Amendment people” to take action against Hillary Clinton.

"What he said very clearly was that if Hillary Clinton were elected president, she would get to appoint judges to the Supreme Court, and among the other things that they would do to destroy us, would be to do away with the Second Amendment and your right to bear arms," Giuliani said while introducing Trump at a rally in Wilmington, North Carolina. "Now, is there anybody here that doubts that?" he asked the audience.

"And then he said, 'And you have the power to do something about it,'” Giuliani went on. “And what he meant by that was you have the power to vote against her. You have the power to campaign against her. You have the power to speak against her. You know why, because you're Americans."
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/giuliani-blames-media-spin-trump-second-amendment-comment




But there's still more:

You know, The Line, the one that He, Trump has to cross before the entire Republican Party, not to mention a good portion of the human race, finds him too revolting for their delicate stomachs? What say you, Paul Ryan? Is that the line? John McCain? Mitch McConnell? All you clowns in the tricorns and the Watering The Tree Of Liberty tank tops? What say you all? Do you stand by this?

How about the elite political press? Is this enough to push you over the line to admitting every day in your coverage that this is not a normal election because the Republican Party has nominated a public sociopath for President of the United States? Once, while contemplating the re-election of Richard Nixon, the late Dr. Thompson once wrote this, and it might be the best single paragraph of political journalism anyone ever wrote:
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a47492/trump-hillary-assassination/




And more - Donald Trump is literally playing with fire here, folks!

People are playing with fire here, and there is no bigger flamethrower than Donald Trump. Forget politics; he is a disgusting human being. His children should be ashamed of him. I only pray that he is not simply defeated, but that he loses all 50 states so that the message goes out across the land — unambiguously, loud and clear: The likes of you should never come this way again.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/10/opinion/trumps-ambiguous-wink-wink-to-second-amendment-people.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=opinion-c-col-left-region


Even the great Dan Rather has denounced Trumpenfuror, and this is a great comment:

"No trying-to-be objective and fair journalist, no citizen who cares about the country and its future can ignore what Donald Trump said today.

When he suggested that "The Second Amendment People" can stop Hillary Clinton he crossed a line with dangerous potential. By any objective analysis, this is a new low and unprecedented in the history of American presidential politics. This is no longer about policy, civility, decency or even temperament. This is a direct threat of violence against a political rival. It is not just against the norms of American politics, it raises a serious question of whether it is against the law. If any other citizen had said this about a Presidential candidate, would the Secret Service be investigating?
https://www.facebook.com/theDanRather/posts/10157249295185716


Well said. And even his own people think he's gone too far:

Donald Trump must end his campaign for the White House in a reckoning with his own madness, while praying that nothing comes of his musing about an assassination of Hillary Clinton.

In the event that Trump fails to abandon his candidacy — as he seems determined to — the Republican Party, including vice presidential nominee Mike Pence, must instead abandon Trump for toying with political bloodshed.
http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/trump-hinting-assassination-article-1.2744789






Donald Trump


Let’s spin the wheel one last time this week. And it lands on… conspiracy theories. You know what? We need some proper music for this entry.



Ah much better. So you know about Donald Trump and his insane theory about Russian airliners sending $400 million in US money to Iran right? Well turns out that didn’t happen and Donald Trump might have been making this up the whole time.

Donald Trump is ripping into Hillary Clinton anew over news that the United States government covertly sent $400 million to Iran in January that coincided with the release of four American prisoners, although President Barack Obama's administration has hit back at any notion of a quid pro quo.

"Our incompetent Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, was the one who started talks to give 400 million dollars, in cash, to Iran. Scandal!" Trump tweeted Wednesday morning, following a Wall Street Journal report published Tuesday evening that cited U.S. and European officials, as well as congressional staff briefed on the details of the operation after the fact. As former secretary of state, Clinton has claimed credit for bringing Iran to the bargaining table through sanctions.
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/iran-400-million-payment-trump-clinton-226605




I like that one. But it gets better!

One of the key Republican talking points this week has been the widely-debunked notion that a $400 million payment to Iran was a “ransom” to secure the release of hostages, when it was actually a repayment of funds that have been in dispute since 1979. Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump placed himself at the center of that story by repeatedly claiming he had seen video of the cash transfer, which he was finally forced to admit did not exist.

At a rally in New Hampshire Saturday, Trump revived the story, and instead of hewing to the Republican talking point that Iran would use the money to fund terrorism, Trump decided, for some reason, to say the opposite:
http://www.mediaite.com/online/donald-trump-weirdly-insists-iran-wont-use-most-of-400-million-ransom-for-terrorism/


That’s right, he is insisting on this. But I can’t quite find the right words to describe how batshit crazy this is. Donald Trump is one candidate who simply defies logic.



Let’s switch subjects and talk about Donald Trump and the Olympics. “Under my watch, America is going to keep winning. We produce the best winners. Nobody produces better winners than we do. There will be no stupid losers here in America”. But what was he doing watching the Mexican pole vaulting team?

Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson on Friday mocked Donald Trump's plan to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border, joking that the businessman is worried about Olympians pole vaulting over.

"I hear that Donald Trump is watching the Olympics tonight. He's seeing how high the Mexican pole vaulters go," Johnson quipped an interview with the Reno Gazette-Journal.

A central proposal of the GOP nominee's campaign involves building a wall along the southern border and deporting those in the country illegally.
http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/290625-gary-johnson-trump-watching-olympics-to-see-how-high




And I normally don’t post satire articles but I love this one:

Psychiatric facilities across the United States are at breaking point after the number of people claiming to be sent from the future to stop Donald Trump reached epidemic proportions.

New research has shown that every ten minutes someone claiming to the from the future sent back to save humanity is admitted to a hospital somewhere in the US.
http://newsthump.com/2016/03/03/psychiatric-hospitals-filling-up-with-time-travellers-sent-back-to-kill-donald-trump/



But then there’s this. And I shit you not. This is how Donald Trump is supporting the US Olympic team in Rio during the games these next two weeks:

Washington (CNN)Donald Trump wished the US Olympic team good luck on Friday -- and may have cleared up a "bigly" debate in the process.
On the night of the 2016 Olympics' opening ceremonies in Rio, Trump posted an image of himself to Twitter and Facebook, giving a thumbs-up with the words "Big League" and "Good Luck Team USA" overlaid.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/06/politics/donald-trump-bigly-big-league-olympics/


And yes Trump posted a picture of himself – and I am not making this up – in the exact way you would expect a third world dictator to greet his Olympic team. Can we throw that up there?




Bonus Idiot:
Mitch McConnell


Spin the wheel one last time this week. People Who Somehow Got Elected. Hit it!



And now it’s time for another edition of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. This week – Kentucky senator and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R- NRA). You know it’s nice to know that in an era when gun violence is at an all time high, that the guy in charge of the Senate majority is a paid shill for the gun lobby:

Supreme Court justices are nominated by the president and appointed with the advice and consent of the National Rifle Association, according to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). McConnell offered this unusual view of the confirmation process during an interview with Fox News Sunday. In response to a question from host Chris Wallace, who asked if Senate Republicans would consider the nomination of Judge Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court after the election if Hillary Clinton prevails, McConnell responded that he “can’t imagine that a Republican majority in the United States Senate would want to confirm, in a lame duck session, a nominee opposed by the National Rifle Association the National Federation of Independent Businesses.”
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2016/03/20/3761908/mcconnell-no-new-supreme-court-justice-until-the-nra-approves-of-the-nominee/


Yes. He would let the NRA pick the nominee for the next SCOTUS justice. You know, the people who, I don’t know, decide the supreme law of the land! The NRA. The organization that would have this guy as a member of their board of directors. You know this guy:







Yes that’s NRA board member Ted Nugent, the guy who was just shown threatening the president and Hillary multiple times over. In fact if you go back to Idiots #12, we pointed out that Ted Nugent has a ridiculously long history of threatening to kill Obama, Hillary, and anyone else he doesn’t agree with. If Mitch McConnell gets his way, this man would have to approve of the next appointee to the Supreme Court. In fact Nugent’s rhetoric against Obama and Clinton is so toxic that it even inspired this man to take action and it led to his arrest:



But this whole thing is really pissing people off like Elizabeth Warren, who’s had enough of McConnell’s madness.

WASHINGTON — Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) accused Republicans of pure political obstruction of President Barack Obama’s judicial nominees Wednesday, prompting a shrug from Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who objected to her attempt to expedite 15 long-stalled appointees.

Warren took to the Senate floor in the afternoon seeking unanimous consent to bring up all the noncontroversial judges who have passed the Senate Judiciary Committee, but have not received votes on the Senate floor.

Pointing to a report she released Monday, the Massachusetts senator noted that Republicans have been approving nominees at a glacial pace since taking over the Senate in 2014, approving just 18 judges in this Congress. Judicial vacancies have skyrocketed from 43 to 89.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/warren-hits-petty-absurd-mcconnell-behavior_us_




In fact McConnell has blocked every single one of Obama’s attempted appointees. Prompting the Washington Post to do some fact checking:

The Washington Post’s editorial board criticized Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s (R-KY) “patently ridiculous” claim that Supreme Court nominee Merrick Garland is ideologically extreme.

Since Garland’s nomination in March, groups like the Judicial Crisis Network, the National Federation of Independent Business and the National Rifle Association have made numerous false and misleading claims about Garland’s record to portray him as ideologically extreme. In fact, conservatives have praised Garland for years and multiple prominent conservative lawyers have announced their support for Garland’s nomination.
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2016/06/06/wash-post-debunks-mitch-mcconnell-s-absurd-claim-merrick-garland-ideologically-extreme/210740




But the really sad thing? This isn’t the first time Senator Warren has called McConnell out for his nonsense. In fact in 2005, the republicans when Bush was appointing SCOTUS justices, the republicans brought up that Bush must be supported in his decision:

Senator Warren said in a statement, "Senator McConnell is right that the American people should have a voice in the selection of the next Supreme Court justice. In fact, they did - when President Obama won the 2012 election by five million votes."

After Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced that he would lead Republicans in obstructing President Obama yet again, this time by leading his party to abdicate their Constitutional duties, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) reminded McConnell that President Obama’s will is the will of the people and that he won by five million votes.

Then Warren proceeded to remind McConnell about that thing Republicans are always claiming to worship – the Constitution, specifically Article II, “Article II Section 2 of the Constitution says the President of the United States nominates justices to the Supreme Court, with the advice and consent of the Senate.”

Wait for it… “I can’t find a clause that says ‘…except when there’s a year left in the term of a Democratic President.'”

The next time a Republican waves their pocket version of the Constitution around as they drone on about the debt as an excuse for why they have not shown up to work for weeks, someone ought to remind them that they can’t pick and choose what works for them from the Constitution like they do from the Bible.
http://www.politicususa.com/2016/02/14/elizabeth-warren-reminds-mcconnell-pres-obama-won-million-votes.html


In fact members of his own party asked him to step down:

A tea party-affiliated group is urging Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) to bow out of his reelection bid next year against Democratic rival Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes, citing concerns with the longtime senator's electability.

Matt Hoskins, the Senate Conservatives Fund's executive director, told the Washington Post Tuesday that McConnell isn't a strong enough candidate to face off against Grimes and that it may be time for him to "pass the torch."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/02/mitch-mcconnell-tea-party_n_3536897.html?utm_hp_ref=politics


The fact that McConnell has to frequently be reminded of that document he claims we should support verbatim, is very sad. And you know what? Despite failing poll numbers, McConnell was elected to the senate anyway – for a fourth term! Bravo, well done Kentucky! And is it me or does Mitch McConnell remind me of the asshole heckler from Happy Gilmore? You will not fill this seat, jackass!!

McConnell has promised to shut down any and all discussion of filling the vacancy, even after President Obama nominated Judge Merrick Garland, a very well qualified judge with years of deep bipartisan support.

Back in March, McConnell’s penchant for obstruction earned him the title of most hated political figure in America according to Public Policy Polling.

On Saturday, McConnell spoke at an event in Fancy Farm, Kentucky, where he declared:
“One of my proudest moments" was when I told Obama "you will not fill this Supreme Court
http://www.ifyouonlynews.com/politics/mcconnell-one-of-my-proudest-moments-was-telling-obama-i-wouldnt-do-my-job-now-video/




That’s Mitch McConnell – another one of the:



That's it for our all Donald Trump edition and possibly our biggest edition ever. Hope you enjoyed it. Next week we will return to our regularly scheduled format.

See you next week!

Ed. Note: The Top 10 Conservative Idiots - every Wednesday at 10:00 AM PST. Also please join our Twitter feed at @DUInitechTop10, and join the fight, won’t you?

John Oliver Exposes The Sad State Of Modern Journalism & The End Of Newspapers



Is John Oliver a journalist? The Last Week Tonight host has rejected the label in the past, but as he showed on Sunday night, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have strong opinions about the state of journalism in 2016. Sure, we may idolize reporters in movies like Spotlight, but that hasn’t stopped the steady decline of newspapers over the past decade. After all, a lot of our news—and even the material for Oliver’s own segments—comes from these sources, even if we get that information through a third party like “Facebook, Google, Twitter, or Arianna Huffington’s Blockquote Junction and Book Excerpt Clearinghouse.”

When print newspapers’ standards are jeopardized by staff cuts or in making the switch to digital, Oliver argues, we all suffer for it, and not just because that results in content-churners like Tronc. Publications can become vulnerable to dubious buyers, like casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, who purchased the Las Vegas Review-Journal, or to silly mistakes, like the Boston Globe’s “investifarted” tweet. Most importantly, they can stop investigating the local issues that so desperately need to be monitored to prevent corruption.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2016/08/08/john_oliver_remade_spotlight_to_show_newspapers_in_the_age_of_online_journalism.html



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