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Initech

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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 02:11 PM
Number of posts: 45,025

Journal Archives

John Oliver At It Again! This Time He Exposes The Myths And Mysoginy Behind Miss America!



Dumb Criminals: Mom And Two Teens Accused Of Drawing Penis In Football Field

TEMPERANCE, Mich. -

To a young athlete there are few things more important than playing on home turf in front of mom and dad. But vandals tried to deny them that opportunity at Bedford High School.

Fertilizer was used to kill grass on the school football field. It displayed the image of male genitalia.

It's forced the cancellation of four junior varsity and freshmen games and is threatening the varsity homecoming game next week. That's why these parents are tackling the job themselves.

"They had three away games. Next week is their first home game. It would be really bad if they had to play their first home game somewhere else," said Rob Johnson, a football dad.

Police are seeking warrants against two teens who they say got the idea off an Internet photo and a 50-year-old mother who helped them.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/vandals-use-grass-killer-to-make-graphic-imprint-on-bedford-high-school-football-field/28030786


For the "useless without pics" crowd:



Dumb Criminals: Papa Murphys Employee Allegedly Rubbed Scrotum On Pizza

Police say a teenaged employee of a Georgetown Papa Murphy's rubbed his scrotum on a customer's pizza because he had ordered it right before closing time. According to the arrest affidavit, Austin Michael Symonds is charged with tampering with a consumer product. It happened Tuesday, Sept. 2. Police say the customer saw Symonds rubbing his testicles on the pizza as he entered the store. He confronted Symonds, who then apologized. He asked Symonds his age, and when he responded with 18 he stated, "So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone's pizza." Symonds responded by saying, "Yes." The customer witnessed Symonds talk to the store's manager over the phone. He again apologized for what he did and said he had rubbed his genitals on the family size stuffed pizza with Canadian bacon, pineapple and extra cheese because he was upset with when it was ordered, court documents say.

Read More at: http://www.keyetv.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/police-georgetown-pizzeria-employee-rubbed-scrotum-pizza-20806.shtml


Ah nuts!

Dumb Criminals: Spiderman Impersonator And Batman Impersonator Fight Times Square Patron

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — Two crime-fighting characters in Times Square have landed in the spotlight, and it’s not for saving lives.

The NYPD told 1010 WINS two men, one dressed as Batman and another dressed as Spider-Man, were arrested after a brawl with another man at the Crossroads of the World Saturday night.

Police said the fight started on 44th Street and Broadway after 23-year-old Thomas Rorke heckled the superheroes, CBS 2’s Matt Kozar reported.

Rorke, of Breezy Point, was struck multiple times in the face by the crime-fighting duo, police said. He sustained injuries to his face and was also hit in the chest, causing redness and pain, police said.

The men posing as Batman and Spider-Man claimed to have been punched and struck as well, 1010 WINS reported.

Rorke, along with 41-year-old Jose Martinez, who was dressed as Batman, and 35-year-old Abdel Elkahezai, who was dressed as Spider-Man, were charged with misdemeanor assault, Kozar reported.

City officials have been considering a crackdown on costumed characters in Times Square following a slew of incidents in recent months.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/09/14/boom-pow-batman-spider-man-arrested-following-brawl-with-man-in-times-square/




Dumb Criminals: Armed Robbery Suspect Arrested After Appearing In Ultimate Frisbee Tournament

EUGENE, Ore. -- One of Ulster County, New York's most wanted fugitives was arrested Sunday at an ultimate frisbee tournament near Amazon Park in South Eugene.

Jahson Marryshow, 31, was wanted for an armed bank robbery in Ulster County back in 2010, Eugene Police said. During his escape, Marryshow reportedly stole a car and burned down a barn.

He managed to get away from pursuing officers and hasn't been seen since.

That is, until local law enforcement got a tip that Marryshow was now calling Eugene home.

The Eugene Police Department Street Crimes Team and the US Marshal's Service worked together to find out where Marryshow had been staying.

Officers arrested Marryshow at around 5 p.m. Sunday while he was playing in an ultimate frisbee tournament in the field near E 24th Avenue and Hilyard Street.

http://www.kval.com/news/local/Fugitive-from-New-York-captured-at-Eugene-ultimate-frisbee-tourney--275075121.html


Really Dumb Criminals: Man Tries To Sell Crushed Pop Tart To Undercover Cop As Cocaine

HALIFAX COUNTY -

Halifax County deputies arrested a man they said tried to pass off a crushed up corner of a pop tart as cocaine.

Cameron Mitchell, 30, of Rocky Mount, allegedly sold the fake crack cocaine to an undercover agent in June. Deputies arrested Mitchell on September 4th.

Deputies say on June 19, during Operation Southern Summer, Mitchell was making a delivery to a convenience store in the town of Halifax when he came in contact with an undercover agent. During the conversation, Mitchell allegedly agreed to sell crack cocaine to the agent. Deputies say Mitchell went to the cab of his delivery truck and came back with what he said was crack cocaine. He allegedly sold it to the agent for $20.

Agents field tested the evidence, and it was negative for the presence of cocaine. They went looking for Mitchell's delivery truck and found it at another convenience store on Highway 561. Agents say Mitchell told them he needed the money, so he went into his truck and found the corner of a Pop-Tart, then sold it to the agent as crack cocaine.

http://www.wcti12.com/news/deputies-man-tried-to-pass-off-crushed-pop-tart-as-cocaine/27890512




Dumb Criminals: Cops Find Pennsylvania Man Asleep In Car With Kids, Bombs

READING, Pa. (AP) — Police in eastern Pennsylvania say they arrested a man after finding him passed out in a parked car with two children and three homemade bombs.

Authorities say they discovered 28-year-old James Zwally in the vehicle early Thursday morning outside a convenience store near Reading (RED'-ing).

A concerned passer-by had called Exeter Township police, who said they found three explosive devices in the car. Police immediately removed the children; their relationship to Zwally wasn't immediately clear.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/12/james-zwally_n_5813164.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News


Bay Village, Ohio Police ID Ice Bucket Pranksters

Source: MSN News

CLEVELAND (AP) — An attorney for the family of an autistic teenager who had feces and bodily fluids dumped on him when he thought he was participating in the Ice Bucket Challenge said Monday that police know who the perpetrators are even as celebrities continue to offer reward money to find those involved.


Attorney Dean Valore, who represents the boy and his family, said that he has spoken with Bay Village police.

"I know police have a very good handle on the investigation," Valore said. "Everyone's pretty much been identified."

Bay Village police Chief Mark Spaetzel did not return telephone calls Monday. But Bay Village schools Superintendent Clint Keener said that police have known from "the get-go" who the perpetrators are.

"The investigation is to sort out everyone's involvement and how it came to be," Keener said.


Read more: http://news.msn.com/us/lawyer-ohio-ice-bucket-challenge-pranksters-idd



Delinquency? This should be felony first degree assault. Those kids involved in this "prank" should not get off lightly.

Dumb Criminals: Naked, Stick Weilding Australia Car Jacker Hog Tied By Motorists

A naked man was tackled and hogtied by witnesses after he allegedly tried to carjack several drivers while armed with a stick in Western Australia, causing a ute to flip.

Police said the 26-year-old man tried to stop three cars on Brookton Highway in Karagullen, 40km southeast of Perth.

Witness Phil Ferraro told 9NEWS he was driving past when he saw a man trapped in an overturned ute and stopped to help.

He soon realised the driver was the victim of an attempted carjacking – and the alleged culprit was continuing to target other drivers.

Read more at http://www.9news.com.au/national/2014/09/08/06/12/naked-carjacker-hogtied-by-witnesses#wo6KVri6LV4yZ7tQ.99


I'm guessing the tree branch wasn't the only stick he was waving!

Dumb Criminals: Bank Robbery Suspect Nailed After Large Amounts Of Cash Fall Out Of Pants

FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) --
A man was arrested on suspicion of robbing a bank in Merced Saturday afternoon.

Merced police say Shawn Lee Canfield, 25, walked into the Chase Bank inside the Raley's grocery store on G Street and Yosemite Avenue around 1:40 p.m. and handed the teller a card demanding cash. Authorities say the teller handed over $2,748, and the suspect took off.

Officers say they were responding to the scene and caught up with Canfield near G Street and El Portal Drive as he was trying to shove money down his pants. The teller was taken to that location and positively identified him as the suspect.

As detectives walked Canfield upstairs at the station, police say money started falling out of his pant leg, and a total of $2,414 was collected. During police questioning, the suspect was asked to stand up and an additional $334 fell out of his pant leg, according to authorities.

http://abc30.com/news/merced-pd-cash-falls-out-of-bank-robbery-suspects-pants/297752/




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