http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/04/172.html#9KERRY If he's serious - they'll say he's glum, gloomy, pessimistic, and uninspiring.
If he's jovial - they'll say he's phony and trying too hard.
BUSH If he's serious - he's presidential, the war-time commander in chief.
If he's jovial- everybody wants to have a beer with him.
KERRY If he's forceful - they'll say he's too aggressive, mean, negative, desperate.
If he's calm - they'll say he's weak, unsteady, dull, lacks energy.
BUSH If he's forceful - they'll say he's strong, resolute, unwavering.
If he's calm - they'll say he's prepared, on-message, disciplined, reserved.
KERRY If he's specific - they'll say he's wonkish, presenting "laundry lists," being overly-intellectual, show-offy, and nobody likes the smart kid.
If he's not specific - they'll say he's vague, criticizing but not offering solutions, not addressing the issues, and nobody knows who he is.
BUSH If he's specific - they'll say he "lays out his plan" and "makes his case."
If he's not specific - they'll say he's spanning the issues, giving a global presentation, painting a broad outline of his plans.
KERRY If he jokes - they'll say he lacks gravitas, trivializes important issues, doesn't understand troops are in harm's way, nation's at war, disrespects the president, etc.
If he doesn't joke - they'll say he needs to lighten up, he's too stoney, he's wooden.
BUSH If he jokes - they'll say he's a man of the people, a regular guy, people relate to him.
If he doesn't joke - they'll say he truly cares about the American people and his sincerity resonates with voters in this difficult time.