My son has basically ended a friendship [View all]

[mzteris]

they've been friends since they were 8 - now 14. His friend - white as this page with red flaming hair - is very into the "ghetto hiphop scene" (ludicrous really to see him try to dress and act like that). Of course with that is the fact he truly believes using the "n" word is not only acceptable, but the preferred way to talk to African Americans. "Hey, my n...." etc...

My son has asked him repeatedly to stop. Years ago, when they were a lot younger (and pre ghetto boy experience) the red head did use it as an epithet and quickly found himself pinned on the ground. (I told my son that was wrong, of course. Violence solves nothing.)

Anyway, this whole "ghetto act" - and the repeated use of the word. Finally my son had enough and told him that he just didn't want to be around him anymore. They have classes together - where that language is banned, but they never hang out together now. I'm not sure what transpired at the final falling out, but the other kid's mom left me a message to apologize for her son's behaviour (it happened at her house).

He's sad about it because he misses his "old friend" - but the person the kid has become is not someone mine can be around much. He told me he was afraid he WAS going to "lose it one of these days" and just pop the kid a good one. (Again, wrong, but... don't poke the bear, ya know? And my son is WAY bigger than the other kid so it would probably not end well. And if it happened at school, he'd be suspended.)

My son asks other AA's NOT to use that word. I know - some people want to "reclaim it" - but really, who wants a word used to control and denigrate an entire group of people? Who'd want to "reclaim it". Abolish it. From known memory! It's abhorrent, imo - no matter who uses it.