had to call the police to take my husband to the hospital yesterday

[fizzgig]

5. disengaging is the problem for me

he hits my buttons and i'm off, try as i might to not react. i know that nothing will come from trying to talk to him when this happens, but i keep on trying. i am no good at walking away and it's something i've been working on, but with little success so far and i just hate myself for it.

right now all i am doing is staying out of his way and letting him decide what, if any, type of interaction he wants to have. damn hard in our tiny little place, but at least he's sleeping in our bed tonight. i'm trying to expect nothing from him, but my brain is battling itself over that one.

i'm doing what i can to take care of myself and the cats have been especially attentive the last few days, so that has been helpful. i know i will get through this, but i worry about us and it's that helpless feeling that hurts so badly.

thank you for the advice, i hope i can remember it when it matters.