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Showing Original Post only (View all)The DUzy Awards for February 17th, 2012 [View all]
[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]
Your weekly edition of the funniest foul-mouthery and slammingest snark in the liberal blog-o-sphere!
This weeks improvement: Reminding Duers that you can click on the Journal of The DUzy Awards to see past editions. Take a look-see: http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=journals&uid=278973
BOOKMARK IT!
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by justiceischeap
[big] Is it a TOS violation[/big]
to create several identities to get around being banned or hidden from groups/threads? I mean, I'm sure there's no way, than maybe the admins, to prove such a thing is going on but it just struck me as a viable way to get around things like that and I'm wondering if I should go off and create a second DU identity in case I lose my sh*t one day and implode.
But seriously, I was just curious. I saw in a thread someone apparently circumvented the banning from a thread by using the edit function to continue participating in that thread, and that was pointed out as a TOS... which got me thinking along these lines.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] CreekDog [/font]
[big] 19. sometimes one can't post in the thread anymore because they misspell another poster's name [/big]
as "fucker" (or some variant).
and THEN what are you going to do?
[font color=#FF0000]Man, I do that all the time![/font]
H&M-D, Feb 11, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124044499
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Kablooie
[big] President Obama, a DU member?[/big]
According to James Fallows in The Atlantic Magazine:
"Obama is more likely to be spending time with papers or a book, or even to be onlineprowling through the same blogs and news sites as the rest of us"
So do you think he wanders around here reading all our little snippets and snappets?
President Obama, do you?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Ruby the Liberal [/font]
[big] 1. ! So this is who keeps alerting on Trumad. [/big]
Shoulda known.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] PCIntern [/font]
[big] 2. You caught me, Kablooie.... [/big]
You all didn't really buy that dentist crap did you?
GD, Feb 11, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002301490
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by arenean
[big] Can Roseanne Barr help the Green party break out?[/big]
Barr's announcement highlights the state of American politics these days. The major parties seem owned and operated by the 1% the wealthy and powerful interests that have all but taken control of Congress and state governments in the past decade. Minor parties like the Greens are hobbled by laws, written by major parties, that make serious challenges at high levels next to impossible; and their candidates tend either to be unknown or implausible in other ways. This conundrum is less the case in some other countries, where the Greens, enabled in part by laws friendlier to greater political diversity, have won seats in national legislatures."
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2012/feb/09/can-roseanne-barr-green-party-break-through
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] grantcart [/font]
[big] 22. yes [/big]
This will be the epiphonic event of the ages in which the downtrodded masses will glaze upon the wondress of the message of Ms. Barr and instantly realize that every aspect of their lives has been programmed by evil forces that made it impossible to turn off the TV and actually go out and participate in TV.
The irony that Ms. Barr has gained her second tier level of celebrity from the same kind of popular mush that has turned the American electorate into passive consumers of programmed entertainment nonsense that has spilled over to how they have become passive consumers of news and political opinion nonsense.
That it is Ms. Barr that has jumped the shark (appropriately borrowed iconic phrase from another TV show) and now stands to cut the gordian not that has kept the American public from lifting their asses off the sofa and going out and registering people to vote and getting people to vote in the election is a perfect kind of made for TV afternoon movie; A kind of 'Mr. Smith goes to Washington' in which a second rate TV talent reaches out to the TV public and says "Stop watching reruns of 'Rosanne' and go out and do something important with your lives' and dozens and dozens of people flock to her events so that they can get their picture taken with Ms. Barr who now will be able to add "Presidential Candidate" to the long list of failed projects.
This will certainly end up causing the wise elders of the Green Party to freak out.
"break" out?
Oh in that case
NEVERMIND
Of course if they could get Roseannadanna we would be in trouble.
Politics 2012, Feb 10, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/125110770
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] kpete [/font]
[big] Shocking Report: Iran Deploying IUDs [/big]
Shocking Report: Iran Deploying IUDs
Posted by Gen. JC Christian, Patriot
***JESUS' GENERAL EXCLUSIVE***
MUST CREDIT JESUS' GENERAL!!!!!
According to sources close to House GOP leadership, the House and Senate Republican caucuses are scrambling to craft a war resolution after learning that Iran is deploying intrauterine devices (IUDs) against the U.S. "This is the gravest threat our country has faced since the introduction of fluorescent lighting," noted one highly placed Fox News executive. "It's an existential threat. Gosh, I hope we go nuclear," he continued.
Evidence of Iran's IUD ambitions was delivered in a report presented to the caucuses by the CIA and Conference of Catholic Bishops on Friday. The report included intelligence photos of IUD production facilities throughout Iran.
This satellite photo taken in northern Iran appears to show a very large IUD on the grounds of Ghaemshahr Prophylactic Works #2. It is unclear why the Iranians would produce such a large IUD, but reportedly, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) is concerned that Iran "has rediscovered ancient Nephilim technology and has launched some kind of unholy 'Goliath' project.
http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2012/02/shocking-report-iran-deploying-iuds.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FdaKDW+%28Jesus%27+General%29
GD, Feb 12, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002303458
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by n2doc
[big] 3 Meds with the Craziest Side Effects Ever[/big]
by Madeline Haller February 9, 2012, 02:00 am EST
Sure, medicine is supposed to make you feel betterbut before you go popping prescription pills, you may want to look into their side effects.
Patients who are taking the new anti-clotting medication Pradaxa have a 33 percent higher risk of experiencing vascular complications such as a heart attack or acute coronary syndrome, says a recent study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine.
Yet even though there was an increased risk for experiencing a heart attack, the authors noted that the meta-analysis found that the overall rate of death was actually lower for those on Praxada4.83 percent versus 5.02 percent in the control groups.
And thats not the only pill with some scary side effects. Check out these popular medicationssome of the side effects are bizarre, to say the least.
Ambien
Ambien (zolpidem tartrate) is commonly prescribed to treat insomnia. But upon closer inspection, it appears this little pill does much more than help the sleep-deprived catch some Zs. According to early case studies published in the journal Sleep Medicine, patients who were on Ambien began developing odd habits such as sleep eating some having no memory of their odd behavior upon waking. Yet as time passed (and the side effects continued to worsen), the FDA slapped this on Ambiens Medication Guide: After taking AMBIEN, you may get up out of bed while not being fully awake and do an activity that you do not know you are doing. The next morning, you may not remember that you did anything during the night.
more
http://news.menshealth.com/3-meds-with-the-craziest-side-effects-ever/2012/02/09/
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] Suich
[big] 4. I was on an anti-depressant (forget which one) which [/big]
caused constipation and insomnia, which didn't help my depression AT ALL!
Needless to say, I didn't take it for very long!
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] yurbud [/font]
[big] 6. so you were awake all night without giving a shit? [/big]
Good Reads, Feb 12, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101613812
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Jackpine Radical
[big] Bovine Idolatry--then and now[/big]
http://mysticpolitics.wordpress.com/2011/10/12/image-bovine-idolatry-through-the-ages-canaan-to-wall-street/
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] MineralMan
[big] 2. You forgot this: [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] OffWithTheirHeads [/font]
[big] 3. O.K. after looking at that I think I now understand trickle down. [/big]
GD, Feb 13, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002305851
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by WCGreen
[big] The problem I see with our country is that we have lost the capability to delay gratification . [/big]
Just look at the political and economic systems that are in place across the world. People have become so accustomed to having what they want NOW, that there is no longer a sense of working toward something longer than a few weeks.
We are bombarded with messages that play into the developing trait that new is always good and cutting edge technology gives you some kind of guru status to those around you.
Buy it now. This is the newest best thing in the world. How can you be so lame as to still be using 3G.
All of this has developed in the 1920s but was derailed by the Great Depression which was prolonged because people were weary of using credit to get what they wanted.
After the war and all that shared sacrifice for the war effort faded away, the consumer economy kicked into high gear and has increased exponentially ever since.
It because the American way. The new immigrants werent yearning for freedom, they wanted the stuff we could get and they couldnt.
I remember as a kid always looking forward to Christmas to find out about all the newest toys.
The car companies purposely made changes every year so that the demand would be there for cars.
And it has gotten worse.
Credit cards, second and third mortgages and we have a buy now worry about it later economy that is unsustainable.
I dont know what to do because if we suddenly all stop buying stuff, we have a recession. If that trend sets in for a long spell, we will have a depression.
I dont know how to stop the merry go round without all of us flinging off the ride and being scattered all over the fair grounds.
But we all know that 5G is already in the works and those new gizmos and gadgets are being developed as I write.
Think of the waste.
Think of the wreck pursuing things is doing to our society, our environment.
Its even hit how people worship. New churches are sprouting up all over in the fertile lands of suburbia preaching salvation and divine justification for this most modern of lifestyle, suburban consumerism.
It just bothers me. Nags at my soul. As I get older I want to think I am getting better, more stable but Im just kidding myself. I wanted a new guitar and bought one on credit. Sure I got zero percent if paid off in less than a year. And I did. That was a victory in the relentless drive to buy stuff NOW. A very hollow victory at that.
I know that if everyone slows down just a bit, we risk sliding back into Recession. Our leaders want us to spend to create more jobs so those people can spend. Its a vicious cycle that I dont know if we can stop.
But if we want to survive as a species, I think we have too.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] grantcart [/font]
22. I disagree. [/big]
How did you like my answer?
Tried to be both consice and yet not too abbreviated.
Don't you think they should be able to rec replies?
What? Nothing?
Was it something I said?
Time to self medicate.
GD, Feb 14, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002308996
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Bigmack
[big] Was watching the Westminster dog show... somebody got "escorted"...[/big]
.. out. Just barely on camera.
Any body catch what that was about?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] NRaleighLiberal [/font]
[big] 6. maybe Santorum was there and the dogs got nervous! [/big]
GD, Feb 14, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002312191
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by kpete
[big] Megadeth Frontman Endorses Rick Santorum[/big]
The endorsement of Megadeth guitarist Dave Mustaine hath been given. Apparently, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum is the best possible choice for Americans kicked out of Metallica who join new metal bands.
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/02/megadeth-frontman-mustaine-endorses-rick-santorum.php
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] flexnor [/font]
[big] 8. so you CAN be Mega-death, AND pro-life [/big]
i did not know that
GD, Feb. 15, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002313865
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by randr
[big] Why is there not an odd number of jurors?[/big]
Seems most juries I have served on come back tied. What action is taken in this event?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] jberryhill [/font]
[big] 11. We have a high number of odd jurors [/big]
And an odd number of high jurors.
[font color=#FF0000]Duuuuuuuude [/font]
H&M-D, Feb 12, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124045181
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Logical
[big] Just an idea, maybe stop people from alerting a post that is over 7, 14, etc number of days old.....[/big]
maybe if it has not been alerted in 7 days then you cannot alert it?
I was on a jury with a month old post. Seems like if the post did not offend anyone in a week then it should not be able to be alerted.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] Iggo
[big]15. It'll never work. [/big]
Inevitably, someone will find an old post and the wailing and gnashing will begin. Then there'll be a thousand of these posts: "I can't believe this vile, racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, rape-apologetic, rethug-talking-point-spewing, religion-intolerant, woman-hating, man-hating, Israel hating, Israel loving, truther, birther, Bircher, antivaxer, Obama hating, cheerleading post is allowed to stand at a SUPPOSEDLY progressive website! Plus, they used the word "lame" to describe Joe Schmoe (R, natch) and I think that's an insensitive dig at people who walk with a limp and that word should never ever ever ever be used again!"
Or something like that.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] pintobean [/font]
[big]18. "never work"? [/big]
These anti-unemployed slurs have got to stop. I can't believe this post is allowed to stand at a SUPPOSEDLY progressive website!
H&M-D, Feb. 12, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124045034
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Amerigo Vespucci [/font]
[big] WOW! On DU7, you get a $25 iTunes gift card every time you participate in jury duty! [/big]
I have to admit, I was impressed when Skinner & Co. rolled out the DU3 "beta" last year, but who would have guessed they already have betas out there for DU4, DU5, DU6, and DU7?
It's a shame that the beta testing is by invitation only and open only to the most "special" DUers. I feel that I have clearly earned that status and am enjoying the hell out of those iTunes cards (so far, I have 25 that I haven't cashed in yet), but that doesn't mean the rest of you aren't special too.
Just not as special as me.
The Lounge, Feb 16, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101857437
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by kpete
[big] BIG LOL: Politico SO Eager To Smear Obama-They Leaped & Ended Up In A Pile Of Foolishness!!![/big]
Wisconsin Local 1848
Yup, they mistook the Wisconsin state flag as being the flag of Wisconsin Local 1848.
The right wing propaganda site Politico was so eager to try to do a smear job on President Barack Obama and his visit to Milwaukee today that they failed to look before they leaped and ended up landing into a pile of foolishness with both feet:
http://cognidissidence.blogspot.com/2012/02/wisconsin-local-1848.html
Once they realized how stupid they looked, they deleted the post (which appears to be a common thing for Republicans).
But thanks to the power of Google Cache, you can see it for yourself.
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?hl=en&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=cache:http://www.politico.com/politico44/2012/02/wh-flies-labor-flag-in-milwaukee-114554.html&pbx=1&oq=&aq=&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] SidDithers [/font]
[big] 28. Bio for Donovan Slack... [/big]
http://www.politico.com/reporters/DonovanSlack.html
Donovan Slack is a reporter.
Sid
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] jberryhill [/font]
[big] 38. Except for the "a reporter" part, that bio is mostly correct [/big]
[font color=#FF0000]*snort* [/font]
GD, Feb 16, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002317146
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Amerigo Vespucci
[big] Freeper: "GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJA! I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE TRUE, DEAR LORD! PLEASE LET IT BE TRUE!"[/big]
Freeper thread:
[div excerpt] Sarah Palin says she is "game" for another run for office
Fox Business interviewer Eric Bolling asked about the possibility of a so-called "brokered convention" in Tampa, Florida, in August -- a scenario many consider unlikely.
Palin told Bolling she thinks "it could get to that," and if it does "all bets are off."
The former Alaska governor, who has made no secret of her distrust of Romney and desire for a more conservative nominee than the former Massachusetts governor, reiterated her desire for the nominating process to play itself out.
"If it had to be kind of closed up today, the whole nominating process, then we would be looking at a brokered convention. I mean nobody is quite there yet, so I think that months from now, if that is the case, then you know, all bets are off as to who it will be, willing to offer up themselves up in their name in service to their country. I would do whatever I could to help," Palin said.
Freeper responses:
[div excerpt] To: U-238
GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJA! I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE TRUE, DEAR LORD! PLEASE LET IT BE TRUE!
4 posted on Thu Feb 16 2012 19:27:11 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by demkicker (My passion for freedom is stronger than that of Democrats whose obsession is to enslave me.)
***
To: U-238
12 posted on Thu Feb 16 2012 19:41:49 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by FrankR (You are only enslaved to the extent of the entitlements you receive.)
***
To: U-238
From her lips to Gods ears!
13 posted on Thu Feb 16 2012 19:45:35 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by oldfart (Obama nation = abomination. Think about it!)
***
To: berdie
Shes in, shes out. She is, shes not. She can, she wont
She breaks our hearts, so we settle for less, then even less
and here she is again: Cmon guyslet me hold the football!
19 posted on Thu Feb 16 2012 20:23:28 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by tumblindice (Whitey-American: Taxed Enough Already)
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] FarLeftFist
[big] 2. I actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD at that picture. These people are brain-dead cultists. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Amerigo Vespucci [/font]
[big] 5. I looked at the picture and thought... [/big]
..."She probably feels safe because she knows zombies only eat brains."
[font color=#FF0000]That picture is priceless. OMFG.[/font]
GD, Feb 17, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002322000
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by TreasonousBastard
[big] Wotsis about Nancy Grace saying Whitney Houston was murdered?[/big]
Caught a snippet of her getting mauled on GMA for saying something about "finding out who pushed her..."
And the little piece of shit wouldn't back down-- just kept on whining about how she knows best.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] The_Counsel [/font]
[big] 22. Nancy's Always Saying Stupid Shit Like That... [/big]
Pay no attention to her.
I'd say she's about as dumb as a sack of hair, but I'm sure the head lice would have her beat in the brains department, so there ya go...
GD, Feb 17, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002321774
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by RandySF
[big] Maine GOP: Results went to spam[/big]
Maine Republican Party chairman Charlie Webster has admitted that the state party made numerous clerical errors in counting the states caucus results even omitting some votes because emails reporting tallies went to spam in an email account.
However, Webster insisted that the errors did not change the outcome.
On Saturday, he had declared former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney the winner of Maines Presidential Preference Poll by fewer than 200 votes, even though not all municipalities had reported results.
There were clerical errors that did not significantly change the numbers. There were several smaller towns that were left out, the reporting was wrong. Weve corrected those clerical errors and will send those numbers out , said Webster in an interview with POLITICO.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0212/73015.html#ixzz1mfeSw6PB
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] tanyev [/font]
[big] 10. Understandable. I also have my mailbox set to send anything to spam that says "Ron Paul wins!" [/big]
GD, Feb 17, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002323028
Thanks to: Ruby the Liberal, Hatchling, grantcart, Suich, Eferrari, Javaman, countryjake, tpsbmam, ellisonz, rocktivity, Dr. Strange, ScreamingMeemie, and muriel_volestrangler!!!
Sorry its a little late, but I wound up having a first date on Thursday, and today after work I was prepping for a very long trip tomorrow Buffalo and back in one day. Yikes.
I must be nuckin futz.
Submitted with the cat on the bed!
-Krispos42
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The cult of Saint "deficits don't matter" Ronnie is more tragedy than comedy.
phasma ex machina
Feb 2012
#3