I feel more disconnected from this country than ever before... [View all]

[fujiyama]

So I'm 31 male, and maybe it's just me. I don't get this country. I thought I did, but now I really feel like I don't ever since the shooting at Sandy Hook. Maybe it's the fact that I live in the South now and I'm not really all that into guns. Or violent video games for that matter.

I've been feeling sort of out there for a while now, but my values feel especially distant from many, if not most I meet or know especially my peer group.

And this isn't really particularly ideological. I consider myself fairly moderate - left of center on most issues, centrist on a few, and maybe even right of center on some (OK I'll admit I can't think of the issue).

But the obsession with firearms in this country just strikes me as strange and somewhat fanatical. Even on this issue, I think my viewpoint isn't extreme. I've been to the range and I'm not against people owning guns for self defense, hunting, and target practice. I just don't see the point or purpose of civilians owning AR-15s and high capacity clips. Fine. I know there are many that agree with me and some that disagree. That's not really the issue. It's more the paranoia I see in this country on an everyday basis. People have lost all faith in just about every major institution. The government in particular, but also the banks, corporations in general, the health care industry, and higher education. People are still over leveraged and no one sees anything changing. And the frustration is understandable. The standard of living is slipping and I see no long term solutions by anyone that really addresses anything (on either the left or the right).

I just see and hear constant bitterness. I'm constantly bombarded with not only talking points, but irrational conspiracy theories. The new and popular one is that these recent mass shootings are some plan by the government to take away guns. It's tiring. When people believe everything is some far off plan by the powerful, there is no point in even discussing the issue. After all, if you dismiss paranoid talk, you're just another sheep.

I think I need to leave this country for a while. I'm not naive and know that every nation and society faces challenges (and people aren't necessarily any less provincial minded or ignorant in other countries). It's something I've noticed especially Americans love to ignore - we've always got the solution it seems, and we love to never learn from other nations' experiences on any issue - whether it comes to guns, health care, or anything else for that matter.

And frankly all the paranoia is making me nervous - and I've even been tempted to go buy a gun, something that makes me feel, well somewhat uncomfortable. But in a nation armed to the teeth, I'm starting to feel like I have no fucking choice. And that makes me feel like I need an out. Maybe I'm the one that's losing perspective. After all violent crime statistics are at record lows right? Even though mass shootings seem to be a daily occurrence. And that's not surprising considering the number of guns out there. Maybe this is just a normal reaction to the horrific act that took place that day. But it feels like a deeper feeling of discontent - are my values that far off?