March 24, 2012

The DUzy Awards for March 23rd, 2012

[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]

Your weekly installment of the best of DU, a place where Skittles and canned iced tea exist without fear of persecution and hatred.

This week’s improvement: Delivering enough birth-control pills to Sandra Fluke for 56-rounds of sex. So says Rush Limbaugh, so it shall be.


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by hue
[big] Sen. Taylor sent box of excrement by mining bill supporter [/big]
Source: Today's WTMJ 4 News

MADISON- State Senator Lena Taylor's office has confirmed to Newsradio 620 WTMJ they have a received an "envelope full of human excrement" from a mining supporter.

Senator Taylor Chief of Staff, Erik Peterson told Newsardio 620 WTMJ that shortly before noon, the Senate mail staff noticed a suspicious package in the mail which was believed to be human excrement. Peterson said he could smell the package and called Capitol police and authorities confirmed it was human excrement.

Peterson wasn't sure if a follow up investigation was sought in this case.

He told Newsradio 620 WTMJ that the return label on the package said, "The Milwaukee Trade Unions Want The Iron Mine."

Read more: http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/142983075.html
____________________________________

How low can they go??? Wonder if they can do a DNA test on this??

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] SamG
[big] 4. Unfortunately, human solid waste is a very poor [/big]
sample to examine for DNA. Lots of vegetable and animal DNA in it, but few human cells with testable DNA. By virtue of the fact that feces contains mostly broken-down human blood cells, filtered through the liver and/or kidneys, human feces is a poor sampling from which to identify an individual.

DNA breaks down fastest within the animal organism itself, before being excreted. Various animal bacteria and enzymes do a very efficient job at breaking up the organism's DNA, before it emerges from the animal. Undigested food, (meat or poultry or fish and many fibrous vegetables), do retain their DNA, but not so for animal DNA from the feces donor.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Cirque du So-What [/font]
[big] 11. How refreshing [/big]
to find someone who really knows his shit.

LBN, Mar 16, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101476452


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE] In an original post by cynatnite
[big] Repubs brace for possible floor fight at convention...[/big]
CHICAGO — For the first time in a generation, Republicans are preparing for the possibility that their presidential nomination could be decided at their national convention rather than on the campaign trail, a prospect that would upend one of the rituals of modern politics.

The race remains Mitt Romney’s to lose, and if he continues to accumulate delegates at a steady clip starting with contests in Puerto Rico on Sunday and Illinois on Tuesday, he can still amass the 1,144 necessary to secure the nomination before the last primary, in Utah on June 26. But as he struggles to win the hearts of conservative voters and hold off a challenge from Rick Santorum, party leaders, activists and the campaigns are for the first time taking seriously the possibility that neither he nor anyone else will get to that total.

In that case, the nomination would be decided by the more than 2,200 delegates — from obscure local officials and activists to national figures — who will attend the party’s convention in Tampa, Fla., in late August.

They would embark on an unscripted, contentious and televised drama that has not played out in 36 years, a period in which both major party conventions have become slickly produced and highly choreographed pep rallies kicking off the general election campaign.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/us/politics/republicans-brace-for-possible-open-convention.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all



[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] TrogL [/font]
[big] 3. I read that as "food fight" [/big]

GD, Mar 7, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002436528


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] stlsaxman [/font]
[big] [View All] is back? No! Please, no![/big]
i hate getting down to the bottom of a long list of replies and then having to scroll all the way back up because the replies are headlines only.

If we have to go back to that- could you please put one at the bottom of the page, also? Please?

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] scarletwoman [/font]
[big]24. *sigh* [/big]
Sheesh! Ya think ya've found a way to make to everybody happy, but NOOOOOOooooooo.

"That's too hard!" "That's too many letters!" "I'm on the internet but I don't understand how it works!" :cry

Okay, how about this? "View OP Only" (or just "OP Only&quot or "View w/o Replies" (or just "W/o Replies&quot - or just use short little acronyms, like: "VAP" or "VOO" (or "OO&quot or "VWOR" (or "WOR&quot .

Then everyone can run to Meta and start threads like, "OMG! WTF does "VAP" ("VOO", "OO" "VWOR", "WOR&quot mean?"

Hours of fun for all!

H&M-D, Mar 18, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124063203


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by grantcart
[big] Why I think Mitt Romney is running for President.[/big]
He has no particularly strong policy positions.

He waffles on both sides.

He is not comfortable with celebrity who dislikes personal questions and hates to be interviewed. When off script he cringes and reveals that he doesn't really like 'the crowd'.

So why is Mitt Romney running for President, especially when he is so poor at it and it inflicts such painful criticism of him before his family.

<snip>

It would also explain why Romney always seems to be trying to get everyone's approval, he wants to be known as the fourth great Mormon, the one that finally brought Mormonism inside of the American establishment.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Guy Whitey Corngood [/font]
[big] 59. Holy magic underoos Batman! Reading some of these replies is like [/big]
watching moths flying into to the flame!

GD, Mar 17, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002436216


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] MineralMan [/font]
[big] Romney is on his way to Puerto Rico. Here are some Spanish phrases for him.[/big]
He'll need some expressions he can use to charm the locals. Here are handy phrases he can use:

For example, he'll want a friendly greeting in Spanish to use when opening a speech. I suggest he say "Chinge Ustedes Todos!" That'll show his mastery of the language, for sure.

He may want to claim that he is a Puerto Rican at heart. For this, he can say "Estoy un Puto Rico!"

Then, of course, he'll want to say some kind words about the children of Puerto Rico. I suggest he say "Comeremos sus niños."

When he tries the local food, he'll want to pay a compliment to the chef. He can say "Este alimento prueba como la mierda."

Naturally, he'll want to ask for their votes. Here's a phrase he can say: "Voto para mí, pendejos!"

I can supply more useful phrases. All he needs to do is contact me.

[font color=#FF0000]The entire thread is pretty funny! READ IT![/font]

GD, Mar 16, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002431964


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Stinky The Clown [/font]
[big] Transparency: Keeping our dumbitude on display [/big]
I edited a post to correct some typos.

When I was done with the edit, I filled in the little "reason for the edit" box with "Fized typos"

I'm going back to bed, now. I will not be using transparent sheets.

[font color=#FF0000]See, now, if you worked for Sarah Palin, you’d never have to worry about misspellings[/font]

H&M-D, Mar 17, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124062994


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Great Caesars Ghost
[big] Some of my respect was thrown out the window for George Clooney[/big]
For even bothering to go on Fox News for an interview.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Ian David [/font]
[big] 9. He's Batman. He can go anywhere he wants. n/t [/big]

GD, Mar 18, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002439608


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by The DUzy Awards
[big] DUzy Awards for March 16th, 2012[/big]
WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS!


Your weekly installment of the best of DU… 100% free of mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds!

This week’s improvement: Each click of “DU Rec” dispenses a month’s birth control into Sandra Fluke’s medicine cabinet.

<giant snip>

Submitted almost under the wire…,
-Krispos42

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] FailureToCommunicate [/font]
[big] 17. Wait, is getting a DUZY a GOOD thing? [/big]

GD, Mar 17, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002433842


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] LynneSin [/font]
[big] FOUND: Photo of Ohiosmith and his wife!!!![/big]


That's ohiosmith on the left

[font color=#FF0000]Well, the Dutch Oven may not be pleasant, but it beats the Cleveland Steamer[/font]

The Lounge, Mar 20, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101880650


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by sakabatou
[big] Heisenberg at a traffic stop[/big]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] eridani [/font]
[big] 6. What if the cop was a Zen Buddhist? [/big]
S/he would clout Heisenberg with a bamboo stick and say "You see? You don't have to go fast if you are already there!"

Science, Mar 20, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12284105


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] EarlG [/font]
[big] Pic Of The Moment: Jeb Bush Endorses Romney[/big]


http://www.democraticunderground.com/101479113

[font color=#FF0000]Hey, Elad… I’ve got a nice shiny DUzy award for you! C’mon, put down the PCBs and “Intro to Fortran 77” and unleash the wit![/font]

Video & Multimedia, Mar 21, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101717655


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by unionworks
[big] Transparency for Mr. (and Ms.) Magoo Posters [/big]
Want to really put the brakes on "disruption" on D.U.? Perhaps the present approach is going about it bass-ackwards. How about transparency for people whose posts constantly cause people to respond to them in such a way that causes the response to be hidden by a jury? Simply count the number of responses to a given person that have been hidden by juries once it gets over a given limit. This could serve as a much needed warning to posters who get mad enough to respond harshly to these passive aggressive baiters, who never get a post hidden but are experts at manipulating others to do so. Mr. Magoo never gets in an accident. Everyone around him does. Time for some fair transparency. perhaps display a mousetrap or skull and crossbones icon next to their handle once more than 20 posters have fallen into their clutches

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Quantess [/font]
[big] 23. I responded to Mr Magoo and got a post hidden! [/big]
View profile
He was a jerk right from the beginning. I called him an asshole. The rest is history.

True story!
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Kaleko [/font]
[big] 26. The war against the Magoos has left many veterans [/big]
with many a post that was hidden from view. (Only to make it that much more tempting for generations of readers to click on them, of course). But it was all worth the trouble and we bore our burdens with something bordering on who-gives-a-fuck?.

Ah, the stories we will tell our grandchildren once they're old enough to understand!
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] unionworks [/font]
[big] 27. what amazes me [/big]
...is when a Magoo is being a total ass trumpet, and finally someone can stand no more, and gets like 4 or 5 posts hidden. Fascinating. even more amazing that the Magoo just rambled right along, as if not noticing the swath of destruction in his path...
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Kaleko [/font]
[big] 30. LOL. Ass trumpet? I had to Google that as soon as I saw your reply. [/big]
How vividly descriptive can you get?

Thinking further along the same lines, I also find it astounding that Magoos usually come online surrounded by a whole big (br)ass band, trumpeting their little hearts out, marching to the beat... and all of this more or less in unison! A spectacle no one can ignore for long.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] unionworks [/font]
[big] 32. Wow [/big]
View profile
I thought noone else noticed this! I have done my share of ass trumpeting, but usually after having one too many or making a joke that noone else finds funny. The Magoos don't get posts hidden. If you see more than one on a thread, usually you see a train wreck of multiple hidden posts from more than one poster. Sometimes it is quite spectacular. I know it will never happen, but I think a count of replies to a poster that have been hidden would be emminently fair.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Kaleko [/font]
[big] 33. Really? [/big]

How can anyone overlook the Big BrAss Bands parading up and down thread after benighted thread?

Earplugs won't help... blindfolds maybe?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] unionworks [/font]
[big] 34. Perhaps [/big]
... big rubber plugs for the ass trumpets might work.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] 50000feet [/font]
[big] 35. One of the reasons I rarely post [/big]
is that I did order a large quantity of industrial strength buttplugs soon after I signed up in this joint. But then I realized that there's no way to shove them where they belong -- belatedly, alas.

H&M-D, Mar 20, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124064012


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] trotsky [/font]
[big] If it pleases the football gods... [/big]


Sports, Mar 22, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12049026


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Amerigo Vespucci
[big] "These pancakes are just as big as my win in Puerto Rico last night?"[/big]
Oh, Mitt. WHO said you are awkward in front of humans? WHO said you don't know how to relate to people? Your love for CHEESY GRITS in the South didn;t bring the harvest of votes you'd hoped for, but I am CONFIDENT that your love of ILLINOIS PANCAKES will CERTAINLY put you over the top in THAT state.



[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] cthulu2016 [/font]
[big] 4. "Tie it to the roof!" [/big]
“I’m looking forward to getting one of these pancakes. Can I get one of these on the way out? Not the super big one, I can’t fit that in the vehicle, all right,” Romney joked. “The car’s only a Chevy SUV.”

The large breakfast crowd began to chant, "Tie it to the roof! Tie it to the roof!"

(Yes, I added that last sentence)

GD, Mar 19, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002441346


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE] Hissyspit
[big] Trinity Broadcasting Network ‘Funds Owners’ Exorbitant Lifestyle’[/big]
Source: The Guardian

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/mar/23/us-christian-tv-channel-owners-lawsuit?cat=world&type=article

Trinity Broadcasting Network ‘funds owners’ exorbitant lifestyle’

By Peter Beaumont, The Guardian
Friday, March 23, 2012 13:20 EDT

The world’s largest Christian TV channel, the California-based Trinity Broadcasting Network, has become embroiled in a multimillion dollar financial scandal after members of the family that founded it alleged widespread embezzlement.

The claims – by Brittany Koper, whose grandfather Paul Crouch founded TBN, and by Joseph McVeigh, another family member – describe exorbitant spending on mansions in California, Tennessee and Florida, private jets and even a $100,000-mobile home to house the dogs of Crouch’s flamboyant wife, Janice.

The network, which claims to broadcast in every continent except the Antarctic and has 18,000 affiliates, was set up by Crouch in the 1970s and preaches a so-called “prosperity gospel” which promises material rewards to those who give generously.

- snip -

According to the lawsuit, reported in a number of US newspapers, Paul Crouch Sr obtained a $50m luxury jet for his personal use through a “sham loan”, while church funds – many of which come from donations during events like its “Praise-a-thons” – paid for the mobile home housing his wife’s dogs.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/03/23/trinity-broadcasting-network-funds-owners-exorbitant-lifestyle

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Rob H. [/font]
[big] 12. "flamboyant"? The author has a gift for understatement [/big]


Having that much cotton candy wrapped around her head must make for an awfully convenient snacking experience.

LBN, Mar 23, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101481047


Thanks to: Canuckistanian, 2ndAmForComputers, a2liberal, hootinholler, eridani, gkhouston, babylonsister, Devil_Fish, zbdent, TBF, 50000feet, rocktivity, and meow2u3!


Ha! Made it!
-Krispos42

March 17, 2012

DUzy Awards for March 16th, 2012

[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]

Your weekly installment of the best of DU… 100% free of mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds!

This week’s improvement: Each click of “DU Rec” dispenses a month’s birth control into Sandra Fluke’s medicine cabinet.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by movonne
[big] Does anyone know if DU is going to have a spell check??? thank you[/big]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Rex [/font]
[big] 10. We nned won! [/big]
Baad
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] scarletwoman [/font]
[big] 11. That's grammatically incorrect. [/big]
It should be: "We nned won baadLY."

H&M-D, Mar 10, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124059886


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by DesertRat
[big] The birth control pill needs a name change[/big]
We need to call it "hormonal therapy", because that's what it is.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF]dipsydoodle
[big] 2. How about Richard [/big]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] DesertRat [/font]
[big] 8. that would be a good name for a boner pill [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Pfizer would make them in different doses… “Big Richard” and “Little Richard” [/font]

GD, Mar 10, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002409725


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by backscatter712
[big] Occupy with makeup and thwart facial recognition software.[/big]
Since the pigs seem to be all about mass-surveillance, let's fuck with them.

http://www.engadget.com/2011/03/15/student-thwarts-face-detection-software-with-cv-dazzle-makeup/






Sounds like fun!

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Politicalboi [/font]
[big] 3. Does it wash off with [/big]
Pepper spray?

Occupy Underground Group, Mar 14, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12521267


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by PSPS
[big] Boeing won't produce 787-9 horizontal tails in Seattle[/big]
Source: Seattle Times

Originally published Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 2:19 PM

Boeing won't produce 787-9 horizontal tails in Seattle

The aerospace company says it's moving the work to Salt Lake City and Italy. The tail has been undergoing development at its research center in Seattle.

By Dominic Gates
Seattle Times aerospace reporter

Boeing announced Thursday that production of the horizontal tail of the 787-9, for which the manufacturing methods have been developed at its research center in Seattle, will be moved beginning this year to a Boeing plant in Salt Lake City, Utah, and to Alenia of Italy.

The news came on a visit by Boeing's 787 Dreamliner to Salt Lake. It kills hopes that the work of building the tails might stay in Seattle.

Boeing spokesman Doug Alder said the decision will not mean any job losses in Seattle. Other work will be rotated into the advanced research center as the tail work moves out, he said.


Read more: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2017761079_787tail16.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] rocktivity [/font]
[big] 3. Oh, phooey -- I thought this was a sex thread! [/big]


LBN, Mar 15, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1014&pid=75995


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Drunken Irishman
[big] Bill Maher went to Mississippi...[/big]
Well, to be more exact, Alexandra Pelosi (daughter of Nancy) went to Mississippi and spoke politics with some of its residents.

It's not pretty.

http://rackjite.com/archives/9399-Bill-Maher,-Pelosi-People-of-Mississippi-Video.html

Even so, it's important to note Obama only lose the state by 13 points four years ago. That was seven-point improvement from the 2004 elections.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] HopeHoops [/font]
[big] 16. Shit. I lost 15 IQ points just watching that. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] underpants
[big] 17. you sir [/big]
are nominated for a DUzy
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] HopeHoops [/font]
[big] 18. Shit. I just lost another 10. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Drunken Irishman [/font]
[big] 21. ONLY ONE DUZY FOR YOU [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]I’ll be the decider of that! [/font]

Politics 2012, Mar 10, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/125121141


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by kpete
[big] Another BOMBSHELL?[/big]


http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/09/1072834/-Photo-evidence-of-Obama-s-activist-youth?via=siderecent
Photo evidence of Obama's activist youth
(Yes, it is really HIM)
FROM:
http://www.thefogbow.com/special-reports/people-remember-president-obama/friends/#Hawaii

[font color=#FF0000]All posts from 1 to 52 get a DUzy! [/font]

GD, Mar 9, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002405544


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by The Backlash Cometh
[big] Oh that was just precious.[/big]
I was asked to serve on a jury. I responded in less than five seconds and up comes the explanation, Oops, because of a glitch too many people were asked and the position was filled.

Five seconds, really.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Broderick [/font]
[big] 9. I think we just need more super alerters [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] The Backlash Cometh [/font]
[big] 12. As if they need the encouragement. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Broderick [/font]
[big] 13. I take that as a personal assault [/big]
Alerted. And I throw in a TOS violation to boot.

You are in TROUBLE.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] The Backlash Cometh [/font]
[big] 14. I was born in trouble. [/big]
Just like rabbits. Too low on the predatory scale.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] Broderick [/font]
[big] 16. TROUBLE[/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Ikonoklast [/font]
[big] 18. Alerted for constant badgering. Or ferreting, I'm not sure which. [/big]
View profile
Something small and furry, for certain.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Broderick [/font]
[big] 19. Offended [/big]
Alerted on that post.


You obviously don't know I have feelings. Obviously you don't care.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] The Backlash Cometh [/font]
[big] 20. There are letters in your post, when rearranged stand [/big]
for something salacious and not up to DU's standards.

Why are you still here??

H&M-D, Mar 12, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124060680


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by The Doctor
[big] Letter From Rick Santorum: 'Santorumcare™'[/big]


The rest: http://www.borowitzreport.com/2012/03/12/a-letter-from-rick-santorum/

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] 11 Bravo [/font]
[big] 2. Damn, all this time I thought "Santorumcare" was just a synonym for "bidet". [/big]

GD, Mar 12, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002415578


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by CoffeeCat
[big] Rush Limbaugh didn't do his radio program today.[/big]
He had some guy substituting for him.

<snicker>

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] spooky3 [/font]
[big] 1. Was he better than D. Ed Air? [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Unlikely.[/font]

GD, Mar 12, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002417795


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Don Davis [/font]
[big] Mitt Romney's Ultimate Southern Pander: Gets His Teeth Pulled[/big]
http://satiricalpolitical.com/2012/03/13/mitt-romneys-grits-southern-pandering-alabama-primary/

GD, Mar 13, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002419837


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by JonLP24
[big] Entire Arena Football team cut during pregame meal at Olive Garden[/big]
The owner of the Pittsburgh Power fired all 24 members of his team during a pregame meal at an Orlando-area Olive Garden.

With AFL players set to strike before the 2012 season opener, owner Matt Shaner reacted first, cutting his entire team hours before kickoff of a game against the Orlando Predators.

"Mid-statement, all the players got up and left," former Power center Beau Elliott told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. "Every player got up and left while he was still talking. There were 15 to 20 angry, large individuals."

The AFL Player's Association was calling for an increase in the $400 game checks paid to most players on each team. The union demanded a 300 percent increase in the minimum salary. AFL owners countered with a $100 raise.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/entire-arena-football-team-cut-during-pregame-meal-190741599.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Scuba [/font]
[big]2. It was the second-worst thing to happen to them at the Olive Garden that day. [/big]

Sports, Mar 13, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12048225


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by LoZoccolo
[big] New group proposal: "Vague Category"[/big]
This group would be for threads for which the group to which it belongs is vague.

This is the only proposed rule:
The posts in Vague Category must have been locked in another forum or group.

[font color=#FF0000]Some of the posts in there get a DUzy[/font]

H&M-D, Mar 11, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124060417


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Amerigo Vespucci
[big] Limbaugh: "How can I be anti-woman? I even judged the Miss America pageant."[/big]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Erose999 [/font]
[big] 9. Ahh yes, the Miss America pageant. Or as I like to call it: Donald Trumps' annual search for a new [/big]
trophy wife.

GD, Mar 14, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002423951


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Tx4obama
[big] OH Bill Would Require Men Submit Affidavit From Sex Partner Confirming Impotence B4 Receiving Viagra[/big]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] FailureToCommunicate [/font]
[big] 33. "Say hello to my little friend..."[/big]


GD, Mar 11, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002412969


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by alp227
[big] Kofi Annan leaves Syria after talks with Assad[/big]
Source: AP

The international envoy Kofi Annan has left Syria without a deal to end the year-old conflict in the country, as regime forces mounted a new assault on rebel strongholds in the north.

The former UN secretary general said he had presented the Syrian president, Bashar al-Assad, with concrete proposals "which will have a real impact on the ground".

"Once it's agreed, it will help launch the process and help end the crisis on the ground," he said at the end of a two-day visit.

Annan, who also met Syrian opposition leaders and business leaders in Damascus, said he was optimistic following two sets of talks with Assad, but acknowledged that resolving the crisis would be tough. "It's going to be difficult but we have to have hope," he said.

Read more: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/mar/11/kofi-annan-leaves-syria

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] rocktivity
[big] 1. Kofi Annan -- yes, I remember him well [/big]

This pic seems to have been scrubbed from the search engines -- glad I saved it.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] leveymg [/font]
[big] 3. Here. Let's double its chances of getting back onto Google and add some search terms. [/big]
Keywords: Kofi Annan, George W. Bush, Diplomat sits with Dufus, thumb jab at UN dignitary by chimpster, Paxil

LBN, Mar 11, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101472848


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by woo me with science
[big] J.K. Rowling's charity giving knocks her off Forbes' billionaires list[/big]
http://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/arts-culture/blogs/jk-rowlings-charity-giving-knocks-her-off-forbes-billionaires-list

J.K. Rowling's charity giving knocks her off Forbes' billionaires list
Author of the 'Harry Potter' series is no longer in the billionaires' club — thanks to simply being an incredible person.
Tue, Mar 13 2012 at 2:44 PM EST

The woman who weaved together the magical world of Harry Potter (netting her an estimated $1.6 million every day), is no longer a part of the billionaires' club. Forbes magazine, which last year recognized J.K. Rowling as the world's first female billionaire novelist, released an updated version of its World's Billionaires list last week with the 46-year-old notably absent.

It's not that the world is no longer is love with all-things Harry Potter (the brand itself is estimated to be worth more than $15 billion), but rather Rowling's charitable giving and taxes that have knocked her back into the millionaires' club.

Naturally, none of this likely bothers Rowling, who from the beginning has made giving back a priority for her wealth. ... “You have a moral responsibility when you’ve been given far more than you need, to do wise things with it and give intelligently," she said in a past interview.

That giving includes supporting organizations linked to poverty, multiple sclerosis, children's welfare and illiteracy. Three books that she has written for charity — "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them," "Quidditch Through the Ages" and "The Tales of Beedle the Bard" — have raised almost $30 million for various initiatives....



She used to live on welfare with her child and has described battling suicidal thoughts during those times. Now she is a massive donor to many causes, but especially both financial and emotional support systems for single parents.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Zalatix [/font]
[big] 11. When the crustal displacement happens on Dec 12 will she be on the ark? [/big]



[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] AnotherDreamWeaver [/font]
[big] 15. I thought it was the 21st... [/big]
That 'The Gods of Time' would decide if things were to continue.

That's some picture you have there. I hear there is an island off Alaska that has tree stumps and mammoths and sabortooth tigers all scrambled up, could have been made by something like this. Off Antarctica, and South of Chile there is a place in the ocean a meteor or astroid hit earth. Some speculate it tilted the axis and caused massive extinction's when it hit.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] ProdigalJunkMail [/font]
[big] 22. Mayan calendar already ran out thanks to no one considering the whole leap year thing... n/t [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] tclambert [/font]
[big] 25. So the secret spaceship already left? [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] ProdigalJunkMail [/font]
[big] 26. online from there right now... [/big]
sorry you missed us...

sP
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Zalatix [/font]
[big] 30. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] lumberjack_jeff [/font]
[big] 37. Did they say something about the planet being eaten by space goats? [/big]


GD, March 15, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002428306



Thanks to: hootinholler, unapatriciated, 2ndAmForComputers, underpants, eridani, TBF, The Doctor, gateley, grantcart, bluedigger, Kaleko, dixiegrrrrl , rocktivity, and nxylas!


Submitted almost under the wire…,
-Krispos42

March 10, 2012

The DUzy Awards for March 9th, 2012

[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]

Your weekly collection of Viagra jokes, Santorum puns, and wealthy Nigerian princesses in the unknown Universe! (At least, until the Higgs boson is confirmed.)

This week’s improvement: noticing that I misspelled “artificial” and “auxiliary” last week. Since when did “auxiliary” only have one “ell” in it???

[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Stinky The Clown

[big] **Somebody** has to have that tape "Hard fart battle"[/big]

It was a slip of the tongue and could happen to anyone. But it happened to Eric Cantor as he was endorsing Dog on Car on Meet The Press. He was speaking of the primary battles and how he sees Rmoney as the best choice.

The slip of the tongue just slipped out, but it was hilarious.

edit to add link, courtesy of grantcart: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032608/vp/46619203#46619203

There is a 15 second ad and then it goes right to the piece. The funny part is right at the start, maybe 5 or 10 seconds in. As soon as they go to a closeup of Cantor.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Warren Stupidity [/font]
[big] 3. RMoney squeezes out Santorum in hard fart battle. [/big]
That line just writes itself.

[font color=#FF0000]Mr. Whipple sez… “Don’t squeeze the santorum!”[/font]

GD, Mar 4, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002381641


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ArnoldLayne
[big] Well It's been exactly one week now and Andrew Breitbart is still dead.[/big]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Sheepshank [/font]
19. I'm pretty sure a lot of RW bubbles were burst when after day 3 and nothing happened. n/t

GD, Mar 8, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002399802


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] SwampG8r [/font]
[big] search for closet monster unveils time portal under bed[/big]
as many americans will attest closet monsters are a common problem
when monsters squat in your closets they make noises and scare you while trying to sleep
i do not approve of closet monsters i know a lot of you will say "anti-monster discrimination" and "monster rights"
up to a point i agree
monsters are just like anyone else and have a right to self determination
i get that
i would never discriminate against a monster in housing or in hiring or even voting
since most polls are closed before sundown anyways
but i do draw a line at some uninvited monster moving into my closets and rattling my shoes and underwear around in the middle of the night without even offering so much as a "hi nice to meet you"
so when i noticed the telltale droppings in a hall closet i went into antimonster defcon 5 red alert
took off the doors and turned a light on it 24/7
it moved under the bed
if you know about domestic monster infestations i dont have to tell you how much harder my life became
i drained my bed (old school waterbed ) and moved the frame
and there to my surprise is the answer to so many questions
i noticed many years ago i would get into my bed and then at some point black out
several hours later i would come to in the same bed but the time was unaccounted for
i have concluded that the monsters had built a time warp under my bed many years ago
and have been using it from time to time to test my defenses against them by infiltrating closets cabinets attics a toilet tank 2 pillowcases and of course many underbeds
so i moved my bed to the other side of the room and left the time warp area exposed
clever eh? unless they went into the furure and knew what i was gonna do
so far no sign of that

[font color=#FF0000]The time portal also sucks in capital letters. [/font]

The Lounge, Mar 3, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101868815


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by spooky3
[big] Let's get a couple of facts straight, Rush.[/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Couple… thousand? -Krispos[/font]

(I don't for a minute believe he is confused about these, but he knows his ignoramus audience can be convinced of anything, and having no morals, he is happy to mislead them).

1) Ms. Fluke is a graduate student at Georgetown University. It has a student health insurance plan required of students who are not covered by other plans.

2) Students pay at least $1500 per year for this coverage. The university may also pay for part of it.

3) GU is a private university, not a public university. Tuition is high at GU, and private (not public) donations are growing. The church generally does not provide financial assistance to the university, though it does place priests there, e.g., on the faculty, as advisors for students who seek advice.

4) Although GU is a Jesuit-affiliated institution, it is not a church. Many students, faculty, and staff are members of other religions, or no religion, and are welcomed in order for the school to continue to rise in the quality rankings of top schools.

So, Rush, your "concern" over the taxpayers' having to pay for this coverage is, ah, misplaced. The issue Ms. Fluke is drawing attention to is whether the university should be allowed to specify that the insurance coverage exclude payment for contraception, which may also be utilized for other medical needs.

It's also wrong when people don't realize that "there is no free lunch" and say that this coverage is free or that "insurance" would cover it and therefore no one should be concerned about the costs. Someone will have to pay for this. Student premiums might increase, or the university's share might go up. But as someone pointed out on another thread, this might actually save money in the long run, since medical conditions could worsen without this early care, and pregnancies have greater risk.

But it won't be Rush or the taxpayers who pay even if premiums increased. This means that even his "absurd joke" had not a crumb of a basis in reality.

Don't be disingenuous, Rush. Everyone except your dittoheads sees right through you.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] 11 Bravo [/font]
[big] 7. Give him a minute. Rush requires 250 mg of Viagra to get ANYTHING straight. [/big]

GD, Mar 4, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002382066


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by SidDithers
[big] I just hit 90 days on the GD Host list...[/big]
I was going to retire early, but then decided I wanted to see what happens when a Host gets to 90 days. I'm curious if there's communication from the admins, or if Super Power's are just stopped. I'll post when I found out

I'd like to add, however, that it's been a pleasure Hosting GD with you over these first 3 months of DU3. I'm 8 days into a term in H&M, and look forward to a much emptier Inbox over the next couple of months.

Keep up the great work

Sid

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] rug [/font]
[big] 2. You will see a bright light. [/big]
Go to it.

Forum & Group Hosts Group, Mar 4, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124310854


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by TNLib
[big] TNLib[/big]
Amazon Link

Heres an example of the tone of recent reviews for ProFlowers



ProFlowers for the Misogynist in you!, March 3, 2012
By A. Gallo - See all my reviews

ProFlowers on Mother's Day: When you really want to say "I hate you, mom. You should've kept an aspirin between your knees."

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Aerows [/font]
[big] 28. Couldn't help it [/big]
I contributed this:

I ordered the "make me a sandwich, slut" arrangement, and it didn't produce the desired result. I thought that by sending it, it would make up for calling the woman in question a prostitute and a slut, but it didn't.

Instead, she threw the arrangement at me and told me that not only did she want me to suspend my relations with her, she was making it permanent. She wants to make it permanent and not just "suspend" calling women sluts and prostitutes!?

Now how am I supposed to win with such a hard-headed stance. She could have just made me a sandwich, apologized for getting offended when I called her a slut and a prostitute when I lied about her, and then acknowledged that I was kind enough to buy her the "make me a sandwich, you slut" package. She didn't even have to do anything but open the beer, make me a sandwich and serve it to me. I even acted like I tried to apologize.

Rush Limbaugh"

Also I made sure to note that ProFlowers "suspension" is minor. "Liberty Media" associated with many right wing causes is behind them, including the Koch Brothers. They support it, if they support him saying it, period.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Th1onein [/font]
[big] 33. Here is my review: [/big]
Dear Sir,

My name is Obeisai Nahising. I am the mother of the former King of Nopiaudsf. King Noplaudsf died before he could close his account with the Bank of Jailispli. He has no relatives except for myself, and I am being held captive and am very ill. I am trusting you with this information so that you can get this money, in the amount of $800,000,000.00 (Eight hundred million US dollars), out of the account he left. I am willing to give you 30% of the funds if you will help me. Please provide your legal name, address, bank account, social security and phone number information, and return it to me via this email as soon as possible. Also, you must keep this a secret, as there are people who are willing to take this money.

Sincerely,

(former) Queen Nopiaudsf

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Blue Owl [/font]
[big] 37. The days of swine and roses may be OVER! [/big]
View profile
n/t

GD, Mar 4, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002382785


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Stinky The Clown [/font]
[big] Man on Dog defeats Dog on Car in Tennessee[/big]
MSNBC just called it

GD. Mar 6, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002393744


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by unionworks
[big] Big Anonymous Bust[/big]
I was having pizza and coffe in my local cafe and this was all over the network news. Haven't seen a word about this is LBN or anywhere else. MSM is claiming the main defendant turned states evidence. (For those unfamiliar with prison slang, this means he snitched everybody out.) This may or may not be true. Anybody else?

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] VWolf [/font]
[big] 10. This thread is useless without pictures [/big]
Or maybe I'm reading the title wrong ...

[font color=#FF0000]Can’t resist…[/font]



[font color=#FF0000]Is this some kind of bust?
Well, it’s very impressive, yes…[/font]

GD, Mar 6, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002393676


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by lame54
[big] Pat Robertson Must Be High[/big]
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/08/us/pat-robertson-backs-legalizing-marijuana.html?_r=1&hp

“I really believe we should treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol,” Mr. Robertson said in an interview on Wednesday. “I’ve never used marijuana and I don’t intend to, but it’s just one of those things that I think: this war on drugs just hasn’t succeeded.”

Mr. Robertson’s remarks echoed statements he made last week on “The 700 Club,” the signature program of his Christian Broadcasting Network, and other comments he made in 2010. While those earlier remarks were largely dismissed by his followers, Mr. Robertson has now apparently fully embraced the idea of legalizing marijuana, arguing that it is a way to bring down soaring rates of incarceration and reduce the social and financial costs.

“I believe in working with the hearts of people, and not locking them up,” he said.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] hifiguy [/font]
[big] 1. Beelzebub just strapped on ice skates. [/big]


[font color=#FF0000]Wait wait wait… I have to agree with Pat Robertson on something besides “ketchup goes great with french fries??? [/font]

GD, Mar 8, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002400214


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by jefferson_dem
[big] Rush Limbaugh Closes First Hour With Dead Air[/big]
Beautiful silence!

Rush Limbaugh Closes First Hour With Dead Air
March 08, 2012 1:50 pm ET by MMFA Staff

Rush Limbaugh closed the first hour of his radio show on his flagship station, WABC, with 1:03 of dead air Monday.

From WABC's online feed:

While advertisers have fled Limbaugh's show since his misogynistic attacks on Sandra Fluke, the first hour of every show since those attacks aired on March 1 has concluded with at least one ad leading into an ABC News break at the top of the second hour. On Wednesday, the first hour concluded with an ad from Matrix Direct, which has told radio stations to stop airing its ads during The Rush Limbaugh Show.

At least 46 advertisers have reportedly dropped their ads from Limbaugh's radio show since his attacks on Fluke.

Click here for "audio": http://mediamatters.org/blog/201203080008

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Old and In the Way [/font]
[big] 15. His audience couldn't tell the difference. nt [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]”What? What? Hey, Rush, you’ll have to speak up… I can’t hear you over the background radiation of the universe…”[/font]

GD, Mar 8, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002401202


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Maine-ah [/font]
[big] Sex Tape![/big]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] rurallib [/font]
[big] 2. Clearly! [/big]

The Lounge, Mar 5, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101870274


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by OKIsItJustMe
[big] Romney’s Latest Clean Energy Attack: ‘You Can’t Drive A Car With A Windmill On It’[/big]
http://thinkprogress.org/green/2012/03/06/438121/romneys-latest-clean-energy-attack-you-cant-drive-a-car-with-a-windmill-on-it/



[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Blue Owl [/font]
[big] 1. Unless your dog happens to be named "Windmill" [/big]
N/T

Video & Multimedia, Mar 6, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101715055


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] NRaleighLiberal [/font]
[big] Wow, more bad news for Rush...[/big]
LOLGOP ? @LOLGOP Reply Retweeted Favorite · Open
REPORT: Dead air has asked to not be aired during Rush Limbaugh's show.



GD, Mar 8, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002403014


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by PSPS
[big] Wives find spouse in common on Facebook[/big]
Wives find spouse in common on Facebook

A state Department of Corrections officer is facing charges of bigamy.

By Adam Lynn

The News Tribune

Here's a recipe for trouble:

A woman you left three years ago but remain married to gets Facebook recommendation to "friend" a woman she doesn't know. Unbeknown to her, you married the mystery woman after changing your name.

Wife No. 1 clicks on the link. The mystery woman's profile photo shows you and her in nice clothes standing next to a wedding cake.

Wife No. 1 calls your mom.

Oh, boy.

More at: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2017703840_bigamy09.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Turbineguy [/font]
[big] 1. I worked with a guy who had three wives. [/big]
At one point they found out about each other. They all came to meet him at the airport. He was made to choose. He chose the Flight Attendant from Tahiti and spent his last years on a beach in the South Pacific.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] mike_c [/font]
[big] 2. GAWD I love happy endings.... [/big]
Pass the tissue.....

GD, Mar 9, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002406609

Thanks to: hootinholler, krispos42, CaliforniaPeggy, underpants, dixiegrrrrl, Matariki, rocktivity, Javaman, DinahMoeHum, Dr. Strange, Ikonoklast, and TBF!


Submitted with a drippy nose and an oblivious cat on the bed,
-Krispos42

March 3, 2012

The DUzy Awards for March 2nd, 2012

[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]

Your weekly edition of the crassest comments and scarily-appropriate visuals in the known Universe!

This week’s improvement: Atificial-hormone-free auxillary verbs. They were having a buy-3-get-one-free deal, so I took advantage and stocked up.


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] rug [/font]
[big] I would like to discuss Zubin Mehta.[/big]
His version of Bartok's Violin Concerto Number 2 is far superior to his version of Bartok's Violin Concerto Number 1.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] SunsetDreams
[big] 1. This is my favorite [/big]

Where did you mean to post this?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] rug [/font]
[big] 2. Isn't this the Mehta Discussion Forum? [/big]



[font color=#FF0000]*winces* I felt that in my puncreas[/font]

Help & Mehta Discussion, Feb 24, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124052776


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by stockholmer
[big] Freedom From Religion : A Fearless Young Woman Takes a Stand[/big]
http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/02/24/freedom-from-religion/

If a person is going to act fearlessly, then it’s best done when young. At least that’s how it worked out for me. Jessica Ahlquist is such a fearless person. Jessica took on the established and entrenched points of view of a large suburban community in Cranston, Rhode Island, and won. She had the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, family, and supporters throughout the country, but her battle was an individual one that resonates very clearly in this election year when some in power wish to destroy the First Amendment’s guarantee of separation between church and state.

The New York Times (“A Brave Stand in Rhode Island,” January 31, 2012) http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/01/opinion/a-brave-stand-in-rhode-island.html championed Jessica’s cause in an editorial and covered her case in a news article (“Student Faces Town’s Wrath in Protest Against Prayer,” The New York Times, January 26, 2012) http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/us/rhode-island-city-enraged-over-school-prayer-lawsuit.html . Jessica is a self-proclaimed atheist. She took her high school to task for its display of a student’s prayer that has hung on the wall of Cranston High School West’s auditorium since 1963. I taught briefly at Cranston West during the late 1970s, but I can’t remember the prayer in the school auditorium.

Jessica came to atheism after her mother fell ill when Jessica was in elementary school. And that was what she identifies as being the break she had with religion. Jessica’s case is all the more interesting because Rhode Island is the most Catholic state in the nation. She was labelled “an evil little thing,” by a Rhode Island state representative as her case moved to federal district court in Providence. Several florists in the area refused to send flowers that had been sent to Jessica from supporters around the nation. Local police had to provide escorts for her as the case heated the raw emotions that religious issues often tend to do. A 2009 graduate of the same school called Jessica “an idiot” in The Times news article.

In a wise decision, the Cranston School Committee voted not to appeal the federal district court ruling that supported Jessica’s attempt to have the prayer removed from her school. However, a stunned ACLU-Rhode Island representative, Steven Brown, commented on the apparent delay in removing the prayer banner from the school’s auditorium in response to the mayor of the city’s position that legal fees accrued in the case must be settled before the banner is removed. Brown questioned: “…whether this is an attempt by some petty officials to dredge up a new excuse to avoid complying with the Court’s decision” (“ACLU wants prayer banner removed ASAP,” WPRI.com, February 22, 2012). http://www.wpri.com/dpp/news/local_news/west_bay/cranston-aclu-wants-prayer-banner-removedasap

snip



Jessica Ahlquist, a Rhode Island atheist, won a suit against her school's prayer poster

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] DFW [/font]
[big] 37. "Sticking up for your beliefs:" the sliding Republican rating scale [/big]
Republicans have different reactions if you tell them that you stick up for your beliefs:

Christian: you are a good American!

Muslim: you are a terrrrrist!

Jewish: welllll, if you support Israel's military, don't live in my neighborhood and shut up about the rest, I guess.....

Hindu, Animist, Buddhist, Zoroastrian, Wiccan, Rasta, etc. etc.: if ya gotta, but not here!!

Atheist: you traitor and ally of Satan!!

Sing this to the tune of "The Locomotion:"

("The Evolution&quot

Now that you believe it, come join the cult now,
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
Tell your children’s teacher there’s a new result, now
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
What Darwin found is causing me a lot of grief
Religion’s free as long as it is MY belief!
So come on, come on, don’t teach evolution to me!
You gotta bite your tongue, now. Come on baby.
Turn back your clocks. Fossils are just some odd-shaped rocks!

I believe I have been called to lead the nation
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
I think I read it in the Book of Revelation
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
It may look like Mitt or Santorum has the lead
But my religion’s pure, and that is what you need!
So come on, come on, don’t teach evolution to me!
Yes, come on, come on, don't teach evolution to me!

GD, Feb 24, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002346597


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by HopeHoops
[big] And what would YOU do with a drunken sailor?[/big]
Nothing from the song - original ideas to ADD to the song.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] The Velveteen Ocelot [/font]
[big] 1. Make him listen to Rick Santorum, [/big]
Make him listen to Rick Santorum,
Make him listen to Rick Santorum,
Ear-lye in the morning.

[font color=#FF0000]Betcha he’s beg for a waterboarding after 10 minutes[/font]

The Lounge, Feb 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101864803


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by babylonsister
[big] I guess mittens is breathing a 'hugh' sigh of relief now... he won (one of) his state![/big]


Is this good or bad in your opinion? For me, if this means Santorum goes away, I'm good with that.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] ProSense [/font]
[big] 5. It's [/big]
a quote by Bob Kerrey:

“Santorum, That’s Latin for Asshole”
http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/01/06/santorum-thats-latin-for-asshole/



GD, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002362426


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by EarlG
[big] Humpday Hatemail![/big]
Just a few recent treats from the Hate Mailbag to get you over the hump... I didn't have time to write responses but I'm sure you can manage

[font color=#FF0000]<snip>[/font]

[div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" style="padding: 20px; background-color: rgb(246, 246, 246); border-radius: 10px 10px 10px 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px rgb(170, 170, 170);"][div style="font-family: arial,helvetica; color: rgb(230, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(153, 153, 153); padding-bottom: 10px;"]YES, THAT'S IT, KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THE REPUBLICANS DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT...
[br/]Subject: re
[br/]
[br/]You have got to be some of the dumbest people out there....... if you are an example of the people the DNC chair has helping her we repub's don't have anything to worry about..... her worst enemy is her mouth and barain as they never engage unless its to make a fool out of herself and there she really does not need any help............................. Frank....... oh and by the way....... the 2011 world coming to and end just became the worlds end in 2012........ very stupid.................. most people are smarter then you are...........

[font color=#FF0000]<more>[/font]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] progressoid [/font]
[big] 8. Reading This Makes My Barain Hurt... [/big]

GD, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002364529


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Ptah
[big]We need a Sherlock Holmes or Nero Wolf forum. Maybe Perry Mason too. [/big]
A thread with 300+ replies that reads like a new mystery novel
turns out to be just another chapter of the great DU novel,
"The case of They Know Who They Are!"

-----------------------

In this new forum we could have a list of the cast and their recurring roles.

Scoreboard of standard insinuations, allegations and implications.


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] MadrasT [/font]
[big] 35. Whoa.... [/big]
This thread is like...

META-CUBED!!!

It's a thread about a thread about PMs about another thread.

This right here is Meta-Nirvana.


[font color=#FF0000]Meta-Nirvana… sounds like a tribute band.[/font]

Help & Mehta Discussion, Mar 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124055704


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ScreamingMeemie
[big] Do You Keep Notes??? ---On other DUers, that is?[/big]
This has been running around in my head all day. Throughout the course of a session (I mean what else can we call it?) on DU, I will notice posts like "This poster has a history of...", "The usual suspects...", "The swarm..." etc. Several times throughout my DU experience I have wondered this. I don't keep notes. I do "note" other posters more than others but a lot of times I cannot keep straight in my head whether we "get along" or don't.

So...

Here's some notes on me:

People powered Howard will always speak for me

I am not overly thrilled with this administration, but that does not mean I'm going to sit home in November, and asking me that question is not going to open up a positive dialogue if I criticize the President for something. He's still our President.

I did, at one time, get too involved with this board and its members, on a personal level...until it bit me in the ass. That's not to say I am not on really friendly terms with DUers---I just try not to get involved in the infighting, or picking of sides.

[font color=#FF0000]<snip>[/font]

Feel free to throw these back at me at any point. And I hope that people really don't keep notes on each other here.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] scarletwoman [/font]
[big] 19. Of course not. That would be silly. I make voodoo dolls of the DUers I don't like. [/big]
And every time they post something that pisses me off, I stick another pin in their doll.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Violet_Crumble [/font]
[big] 78. I had to throw away my A-Z expanding file when everything went digital! [/big]
I never got over it. Trying to replicate those files on my trusty Commodore 64 was almost the end of me. I'd devised a pac-man like thing where each forum was represented by a room, and little yellow beeping smiley or cranky faces carefully labelled with each DUer's name moved from room to room. When the cranky faces entered a thread, the screen would show them chewing up the little smiley faces and vomiting them up again in a blazing mess, and a bubble with the crudely pixilated words 'I WON THIS WAR! YOU SUCK!' would emerge from their fire-vomiting mouths. Unfortunately by the time I'd finished my masterpiece, things had moved on and those newfangled PC's had taken over the world. No more remembering who was part of which swarm, who Bully #1284 was referring to when they said 'the usual suspects'. The world had changed around me and because I was on the list of every other DUer, no-one bothered to tell me!!

Broken and shattered, I emerged from my parent's basement, got a job, bought a guitar and started devoting four hours a night to playing every Nirvana song I could find while I sobbed over how fat and bloated Kurt would have been if he hadn't gotten involved with Courtney and had that collision with a bullet. And I found I had no time left for compiling files. Now there's a very simple and easy to use one I keep in my head with less than a handful of DUer's in it. I call it the Utterly Pointless & Pathetic Wanker File. I've got little interest in which one said what where and how often they farted while they said it, it's just a few names that I don't bother engaging with here at DU in my endevour to not make DU suck for me ..



Help & Mehta Discussion, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124055086


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] EarlG [/font]
[big] Pic Of The Moment: Romney Responds To Santorum NASCAR Sponsorship[/big]



http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002353367

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002356655

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] KamaAina [/font]
[big] 8. Santorum: man on dog [/big]
Rmoney: dog on man!

Video & Multimedia, Feb 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101713889


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Laura PourMeADrink
[big] Great comeback from guy who drank with Breitbart hours before he died[/big]
This is a quote from a guy who Breitbart happened to sit next to in a Brentwood
bar the hours before his death
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/andrew-breitbart-dead-la-bar-politics-296386



"He was friendly and engaging," Sando recalls. "I said, 'You can't be very happy with the slate of Republican candidates' and he said, 'Why would you say that?' I said, 'Well, they're talking about contraception,' and he said, 'The conversation is being framed by the liberal media.' I said, 'Well, the media isn't writing Rick Santorum’s speeches for him.' We had a back-and-forth for awhile until we said we weren’t going to agree on some things."

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Erose999 [/font]
[big] 1. There are reports that his cause of death was autoerotic asphyxiation. He died as he lived... [/big]
an uptight jerkoff.


GD, Mar 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002373084


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by samplegirl
[big] I would like to know what Rush's wife thinks[/big]
about his unsatisfied urge for porn??? Guess she figures at least it is not her.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] onehandle [/font]
[big] 3. Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige. nt [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Had to google that one… [/font]

GD, Mar 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002373657


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by eppur_se_muova
[big] Oetzi the Iceman's nuclear genome gives new insights (BBC)[/big]
By Jason Palmer
Science and technology reporter, BBC News

New clues have emerged in what could be described as the world's oldest murder case: that of Oetzi the "Iceman", whose 5,300-year-old body was discovered frozen in the Italian Alps in 1991.

Oetzi's full genome has now been reported in Nature Communications.

It reveals that he had brown eyes, "O" blood type, was lactose intolerant, and was predisposed to heart disease.

They also show him to be the first documented case of infection by a Lyme disease bacterium.

Analysis of series of anomalies in the Iceman's DNA also revealed him to be more closely related to modern inhabitants of Corsica and Sardinia than to populations in the Alps, where he was unearthed.
***
more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17191398
free abstract, paywall for full article: http://www.nature.com/ncomms/journal/v3/n2/full/ncomms1701.html




It just goes to show you're never too old to have your genome sequenced. 

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Botany [/font]
[big] 1. Heart Disease and Lyme Disease too [/big]
good thing he was in europe with their health care system to take
care of him.



Science, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12283100


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by groovedaddy
[big] They’re, Like, Way Ahead of the Linguistic Currrrve[/big]
From Valley Girls to the Kardashians, young women have long been mocked for the way they talk.

Whether it be uptalk (pronouncing statements as if they were questions? Like this?), creating slang words like “bitchin’ ” and “ridic,” or the incessant use of “like” as a conversation filler, vocal trends associated with young women are often seen as markers of immaturity or even stupidity.

Right?

But linguists — many of whom once promoted theories consistent with that attitude — now say such thinking is outmoded. Girls and women in their teens and 20s deserve credit for pioneering vocal trends and popular slang, they say, adding that young women use these embellishments in much more sophisticated ways than people tend to realize.

“A lot of these really flamboyant things you hear are cute, and girls are supposed to be cute,” said Penny Eckert, a professor of linguistics at Stanford University. “But they’re not just using them because they’re girls. They’re using them to achieve some kind of interactional and stylistic end.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/28/science/young-women-often-trendsetters-in-vocal-patterns.html?ref=science

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Scuba [/font]
[big] 1. Whatever. [/big]

Anthropology, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/122994


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by n2doc
[big] New Ultradense Planet Found; Astronomers Baffled[/big]
Rachel Kaufman
for National Geographic News
Published February 22, 2012

A newly discovered planet 4,000 light-years away is just too dense.

Dubbed CoRoT-20b, the planet is thought to be a gas giant about four-fifths the size of Jupiter and orbits close to a sunlike star.

Despite the new planet's relatively diminutive size, this world has four times Jupiter's mass, making CoRoT-20b one of the densest known planets, a new study says.

That poses a problem for astronomers: If CoRoT-20b is structured like a traditional gas giant, with a solid core surrounded by a gassy atmosphere, the planet's core would have to make up 50 to 77 percent of the world's total mass.

By contrast, Jupiter's core is thought to represent just 15 percent of that planet's mass.

To have such a robust core, CoRoT-20b would defy current theories for how planets form.

more

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/02/120222-new-planet-found-densest-jupiter-corot-space-science/

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Xipe Totec [/font]
[big] 1. Sarah Palin, phone home... nt [/big]

Science, Feb 26, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12283010



Thanks to: Dr. Strange, eridani, DinahMoeHum, babylonsister, JTFrog, Hatchling, Ruby the Liberal, rocktivity, krispos42, countryjake, Enrique, and eppur_se_muova!!!


What the hell? We get ONE February 29th every four years, and NOBODY says a single funny thing that entire day???

*shakes head sadly*


Submitted for your approval,
-Krispos42