March 12, 2019

I do believe Paul Manafort is in deep trouble

You know that second sentencing hearing he's going to face this week? Take a guess who the judge is.

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/08/paul-manafort-sentence-could-become-a-longer-one-for-trump-campaign-chief.html

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Amy Berman "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking administration!" Jackson is about to open some fuckin' windows on Ostrich Skin Boy over there.

March 11, 2019

I found a new gift for your favorite president

Since they don't have fast food where he's going, this book will come in handy:

Creative Snacks, Meals, Beverages and Desserts You Can Make Behind Bars:: A Cookbook for Inmates (and others on a tight budget) looking to put the fun back into food

https://www.amazon.com/Creative-Snacks-Beverages-Desserts-Behind/dp/1482322161/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=198213108617&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=1016140&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1o1&hvqmt=b&hvrand=3277941510293772495&hvtargid=kwd-297967462245&keywords=food+for+inmates&qid=1552341385&s=gateway&sr=8-1&tag=googhydr-20

March 5, 2019

In today's episode of "Am I a Nazi?"...

I was driving to work this afternoon when I pulled up behind a full-size pickup at an intersection. It was your standard Idaho Full Size Pickup - gun rack, NRA window sticker, sticker saying how much he liked to hunt...you know, nothing too unusual for around here. The license plate, however, was interesting.

STORM 44

During World War II, the Germans developed a new weapon that was issued as the StG 44. The abbreviation breaks out to "sturmgewehr," which translates directly to "storm gun" and indirectly to "assault rifle."

So, my fine fellow liberals, progressives and leftists, if someone's driving around with the name of a Nazi rifle on his license plate, is he a Nazi?

March 5, 2019

They also need to do a security investigation on Jared

Kushner’s falsifying his SF 86 is bad. But going from needing to sell 666 Park Ave RIGHT NOW to having a billion-five to buy apartment complexes with screams “this man is selling classified information” to me.

If he is, this does two things.

First, it puts Kushner in the slammer for a very long time.

And second, it makes Trump part of the crime since he ordered the government to issue Kushner’s clearance.

February 25, 2019

Your favorite Ig Nobel recipient?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ig_Nobel_Prize_winners

I'm going to vote for the 1994 Medicine Prize winners, of which there were two:

Patient X, who attempted to use electroshock therapy to treat a rattlesnake bite - he attached automotive spark plug wires to his lip and revved the car engine to 3000 rpm for five minutes.

and

Doctors Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain Poison Center and Richard A Gustafson of the University of Arizona Health Sciences Center, who co-wrote the paper "Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake Envenomation."

February 15, 2019

I just learned what Trump plans to do with himself after he leaves office

He's going to open a store that sells nothing but broken vacuum cleaners.

It'll be the first time in history he sold something that doesn't suck.

February 4, 2019

Here's the subject of discussion in the Patriots' locker room tonight

"What say we eat BEFORE we go to the White House?"

February 3, 2019

Yes, people are really this stupid

https://awwmemes.com/i/cl-akron-canton%3E-free-stuff-reply-x-prohibited-please-help-free-8f23c556e4cc4135b5405d58ab7f65b9

Sez the text, with added punctuation so you can read it - the original is one long sentence with no caps:

"Please help free my boyfriend from Wayne County Jail. I need to raise $5000.000 for his release. He didn't do nothing wrong. We have 3 kids...so we needed to get some money for food cigs and stuff for the kids, so like anyone would my boyfriend borrowed my mom's boyfriend's gun and went down to the quick stop convenience store and asked them if they could give him some money. He wasn't robbing them he just wanted to know if they would give him some or not. He wasn't mean about it but cops showed up and arrested him unfairly. Now they are charging him with armed robbery, but he didn't rob no one. All he did was shown them the gun which didn't even have one bullet in it and ask them for some money."

Two questions:
1) What the hell is wrong with people?
and
2) Bail for armed robbery in Wayne County, Ohio, is that cheap?

February 2, 2019

Northam reminds me of another Southern politician with a checkered past

In the early 1940s, this politician formed a chapter of the Ku Klux Klan in Sophia, WV, with 150 members. He was unanimously elected to the top office in that chapter.

In 1944, he wrote to a Mississippi senator: "I shall never fight in the armed forces with a negro by my side ... Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."

In 1946, he wrote to a Grand Wizard of the Klan, "The Klan is needed today as never before, and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia and in every state in the nation."

In 1952, he announced, "After about a year, I became disinterested, quit paying my dues, and dropped my membership in the organization. During the nine years that have followed, I have never been interested in the Klan."

In 1997, he told an interviewer, "Be sure you avoid the Ku Klux Klan. Don't get that albatross around your neck. Once you've made that mistake, you inhibit your operations in the political arena."

His last autobiography explains he joined the Klan because he "was sorely afflicted with tunnel vision—a jejune and immature outlook—seeing only what I wanted to see because I thought the Klan could provide an outlet for my talents and ambitions."

In 2005: "I know now I was wrong. Intolerance had no place in America. I apologized a thousand times ... and I don't mind apologizing over and over again. I can't erase what happened."

Yes, we're talking about Robert Byrd - who eventually earned a 100-percent rating from the NAACP and became a very strong supporter of civil rights.

High school is where you're supposed to be an idiot. Is it possible Northam has grown up and repudiated his racism?

January 20, 2019

I tried Heinz' new Mayochup and I like it!

People have been mixing mayonnaise and ketchup together at home for...probably since there were mayonnaise and ketchup to mix together.

Big food manufacturing corporations have been doing the same thing. This is a Big Thing in Latin America, where it's called "mayo ketchup" or "salsa rosado," and in the Mormon Belt of Utah and Idaho, where it's called Fry Sauce. So...when I saw the friendly bottle of Heinz Mayochup - which, apparently, is pissing off a lot of right-wing snowflakes - I had to have it.

My opinions follow:

1. Color. It is a pleasant salmon hue. Fortunately, it doesn't taste like salmon.

2. Packaging. The pre-launch photos of this stuff display it in a bottle probably popular in the Middle East, where they started selling it first. In the US, it comes in the same bottle as Heinz ketchup, with a different label. The cutline on this product is "saucy sauce." It is indeed saucy.

3. Ingredients. Contains Heinz ketchup and Heinz mayonnaise. No issues there.

4. Flavor. Very mild and pleasant. If I was the food scientist who came up with the Official Heinz Formula for Mayochup I would have put a few drops of Tabasco in it...of course, I tend to put a few drops of Tabasco in everything. No matter. It has a flavor anyone can enjoy.

5. Consistency. This is where Mayochup stands apart from its competition. It is VERY thick. It's thicker than either of the things that are in it. It's also thicker than all its competitors. It's nearly as thick as caulking compound. You can put it on a hamberder, turn the hamberder upside down, and not have the Mayochup fall off. It is a marvel of engineering.

Recommendation: get some. It is very nice.