Screw Norquist - Here's My Tea Party Pledge

[titaniumsalute]

1. You will sign and date the document that completely releases all future payments made to you by both Social Security and Medicare.

2. If you become disabled, you will NOT be eligible for Social Security of Medicaid Payments.

3. If you are a veteran you must immediately revoke all government benefits such as VA, school grants, work programs, etc.

4. You will NOT fly commercially as the skies are run by the socialist FAA.

5. You will never again use a Federal Highway to travel.

6. You will only eat foods that somehow bypass all Federal Regulations and has not been inspected by the government. If you end up getting Mad Cow disease you will simply die.

7. If you lose your job you will forfeit any and all unemployment benefits and COBRA assistance.

8. You will never be allowed to visit Washington DC, any Federal Park such as the Statue of Liberty, Yellowstone, Mt Rushmore, Everglades National Park or other federal parks around the country.

9. You are hereby exempt from using any and all radio and television. They are regulated by the socialists in Washington DC. And if you hear your favorite radio station you love sound garbled and unlistenable...don't complain to the FCC that 25 other stations are trying to increase power without regard for other stations.

10. You WILL, under no circumstances, travel outside the US. Those nasty little government issued Passports are part of the big government mess we are currently in. Plus the TSA shoudl be called the (Total Socialist Alliance. (Of course if you can't fly or drive on highways then how would you really leave the US anyway?)

11. Immediately pull your adult children out of any Public University they may be attending. They receive federal funding which is evil and grotesque.

12. If your kids are in public schools please remove the immediately. They benefit from federal funding including books, computers, and lunch programs. You will need to quit your job and homeschool.

13. If your kids are in any kind of Head Start or Pre-School that receives any federal funding, etc. please insist immediately that you pay the full freight of the subsidized program you are enjoying now.

14. Oh speaking of subsidized...back to college kids. If your kids have any kind of a subsidized loan or Pell grant please call immediately to remove the grant or ask for the full interest on the load. None of that "subsidized" propaganda.

15. Last, please insist that any and all medicine you may be receiving is NEVER checked by the FDA. If they are selling you tick tacks instead of blood pressure medicine that is the drug company's right as a corporate entity.

Please sign and press hard for all three copies.

[SpiralHawk]

1. I'd bet a sack of doughnut he and other RepubliBaggers go AWOL on this honest pledge

As usual

[abq e streeter]

2. Excellent !! Unfortunately, I've occasionally gotten the impression that right wingers

can be just a teensy bit on the hypocritical side when something affects them personally. Call me crazy, but I could swear I've noticed them being that way on a rare occasion or two.


P.S. Would you mind if I reposted that on facebook? (I understand if you'd rather i didn't even with just your username)

[titaniumsalute]

3. Sure...

I think there's a character limit on Facebook. You don't have to use my username. Take credit for it. Spread the message. Good luck!

[abq e streeter]

4. That's the reason I asked about the username though...

I If I copy it, you're right; it wont even come close to fitting, but can post as a link (correct terminology from Mr.Low-tech doofus here?) which will allow readers to click to see the whole thing but I don't think it can edit out your username that way...Again, I understand if you'd rather I didn't do that. I'm guessing you wrote that(???) Really outstanding...
Leaving the house in a few minutes but will check for a reply when I get back. Thank you for that OP no mater who wrote it.

[titaniumsalute]

5. No problem at all with my username

I did write it so don't worry about some weird copyright or anything. My boss and I see eye to eye so if he ever read this he wouldn't fire me...he'd probably give me a raise.

[Donnachaidh]

6. If your kids attended any public university on grants - YOU now owe US

Immediate payback at 30% interest on all those grants.

[DirkGently]

7. Excellent. Mad Cow thing could really work!

;)

[Worried senior]

8. Sure wish

we could give this to them and they'd agree.

[csziggy]

9. Tea Partiers probably already have Mad Cow disease! n/t

[titaniumsalute]

11. They certainly act like it

[russspeakeasy]

10. Excellent !