What is it with men and toilet seats?

[mrmpa]

My 20 year old nephew (quite the liberal, he is, he and I went to the March demonstration In Columbus, Ohio), had dinner with my mother and I this evening. He had used my bathroom to take a shower as I had picked him up from his gym. I drove him home, when I returned I went to my bathroom and found the toilet seat up. The following are the texts between he and I.

Me: You use the toilet in an all womens home, you put the toilet seat down!!!
Him: Crap, so, so, sorry.
Me: You didn't crap, otherwise the seat would have been down. lol
Him: Haha

Just a little levity in these trying times.

[Speck Tater]

1. What is it with women and toilet seats?

Can't their mothers teach them how to put a toilet seat down?

Seems to me them that wants it down should put it down and them that wants it up should put it up.

[JVS]

13. You'd think they'd figure out how to check the place they're planning to sit down on after getting..

a wet butt once or twice.

[Cresent City Kid]

70. I used to think that way

But the response I get to that is that they're going at 3:00 am half asleep, and don't turn the light on.

I just decided to concede on this, especially in a woman's home or main bathroom. I do not concede that it is fair or logical, I just put the seat down by choice.

[Speck Tater]

81. I suppose the smarter sex has to look after the weaker sex by putting their seat down for them. nt

[Iggo]

82. That must be it, yes.

:hide:

[WatsonT]

88. Would it then be acceptable for a man at 3am to not check

and piss all over the toilet seat?

Somehow I suppose the response from women would be "that's disgusting, why don't you check first! Ugh, lazy dirty men!"

[Bake]

98. No shit! Just put the damn seat down and shut the hell up!

Geez! Aren't there bigger problems out there than who left the toilet seat up?

Like, for example, squeezing the toothpaste from the top? Or putting the toilet paper on the roll wrong -- if AT ALL???

:hi:

Bake

[sammytko]

36. I agree! n/t

[Liquorice]

51. A woman never has a need to lift up a toilet seat; it is always down. Men need the toilet seat

down as well as up. The default position of a toilet seat, therefore, is clearly and unequivocally down. :-)

[Speck Tater]

65. So the Dems need to cut spending and raise revenues and the Reps need to cut spending.

Since cut spending is all they have in common, that's all they should do?

Why is it women always want to get things all their way?

Every single one of my ex-wives was that way.
:sarcasm:

[safeinOhio]

2. I'm a man and hate when

other men DON'T raise the seat when they go.

[Obamanaut]

4. Many men also seem to have a fear of urinals, which explains the puddles

on the floor in front of them in public restrooms.

[joshcryer]

49. One drip from dozens of guys will add up. My favorite place is the urinals in movie theaters...

...after a blockbuster movie. It's like some sort of nightmare trough of urine. :D

(I usually hit one of the stalls because it's insane how bad it can get.)

[HysteryDiagnosis]

3. Why don't you just have a seat, any seat, pick one.....

[Webster Green]

5. Speaking of toilet seat lids and levity...

"You've had it right? Your boyfriend left the seat up again and you fell in the toilet in the middle of the night! Want to get him back?"



http://www.perpetualkid.com/toilet-monster.aspx

[Raine]

24. LOL, yeah that happened to me ... BAM thought I was

going to hit the water. :wow: Boyfriend claimed his reason for leaving it up was to show he was polite enought to lift it up in the first place. :eyes:

[Webster Green]

41. That friggin' thing could give someone a heart attack.

I mean, really. :rofl:

[MuseRider]

6. Put in a urinal.

That is what I did and the fights are over. One husband, two sons and I was always sitting in the water in the middle of the night. Respect for women was not something my husband was taught, he has learned so he got a urinal. Every man who heard about this said I was the best wife in the world. I thought that was odd. Also, if you fight over the TP going over the top or under just put your rolls in a basket by the toilet.

[TheMadMonk]

8. Under. Doesn't snag on protruding screw heads. /nt

[MuseRider]

20. I was an under kinda woman

my husband would turn them every single time he used them. I think he really enjoyed pissing me off about something I was not going to tell him pissed me off. He was an ass. He learned though :-) and is no longer an ass. If I say something goes one way or the other I get my way now :-), the perfect man. *j/king of course

[originalpckelly]

10. Like the whole bathroom fixture?

In your home?

I have dreamed of such wonders. :P

[MuseRider]

22. It is just a little urinal

that flushes so it is not the icky kind (I don't know about that, he told me there were icky ones). It was cheaper than the toilet.

[provis99]

7. don't worry; I never put the toilet seat up.

Hey, if I piss all over the toilet seat, I just answer back "Well, I left the toilet seat down like you wanted!"

[joshcryer]

47. I did that when I was 5. Years old. Then I had to go potty and sat in my own urine.

I never did it again. There's no time to wipe the seat down when you have to really go, and who wants to wipe the seat down all the time and waste paper anyway?

[DeSwiss]

9. And while we're on the subject of things in the bathroom......

- My wife always puts in on the wrong way. Why is that????

[originalpckelly]

11. Please tell me A is the wrong way...

because I fucking hate it when people do that. I live with two people who do that shit. I have to change it every time I see it, or else my fucking will explode over it.

[DeSwiss]

18. I think it must be gender-based.

I think like you. My wife puts it on bassackwards so you can never reach the end of the roll without flipping it around several times.

- Wasting several precious seconds......

[Raine]

31. I gotta go with A so does my boyfriend

we usually change any we see going the B way. :evilgrin:

[madamesilverspurs]

38. A is the right way

if there are cats or toddlers in the house. B is the right way otherwise.


-

[sorcrow]

39. A is the right way!*

* if you have cats or infants. With B you'll have toilet paper all over the floor when they experiment with the spin...
Crow

[Drahthaardogs]

69. You guys have it made

I live with teenagers. I would be thrilled if they just REPLACED the damned thing. Most of the time, they don't. If they see no toilet paper, they move on to the other bathroom. Anyone who argues about over vs. under needs to live with some teenagers for a bit. And yes, the girls are just as bad as the boys when it comes to NOT replacing the roll.

[RegieRocker]

80. A is difinitely wrong and illogical.

here ya go.

http://currentconfig.com/2005/02/22/essential-life-lesson-1-over-is-right-under-is-wrong/

[PADemD]

94. Over/Under

Who cares? As long as it's not empty!

[Lars39]

12. Toilet seats are equal opportunity touchees in my house

If men should have to touch them, so do the women. :hi:

[Kaleva]

14. I don't know why some women can't put the toilet seat back up.

[TheMadMonk]

15. Ladies. Gravity is on your side.

Make too big a fuss about it, and I will do exactly as you do. Pee in the dark, WITHOUT checking the up-down state of the seat.

My pet peeve, blood under the front rim of the seat.

Wanna play some more?

[joshcryer]

34. Whoa, heh, you've come prepared.

Jeez. It's a toilet seat.

[TheMadMonk]

63. Of which I see a couple of dozen a night.

In the home (their own?) ladies may well be epitome of cleanliness. After all they're the ones most likely to have to deal with it later.

Elsewhere, I regularly deal with "finger painting", dangling "decorations" on light fixtures and other ceiling "adornments".

The worst I get which I can definitively ascribe to the blokes is black hand prints on the wall behind and the occasional miss and dribble.

And here's a tip. If it smells like last week's "catch of the day" either wash it more often, or see a fucking doctor.

[Codeine]

16. One could ask why the ladies don't just leave it up.

As easy for you to raise it when you finish as for us to lower it.

[JI7]

40. because guys put it down to take a crap

[Quixote1818]

72. But men only lift it up to take a pee. If they took a crap it would already be down. nt

[NutmegYankee]

17. What is it with women and toilet seats?

Do you not have eyes and hands? Put it down and do your thing.

[shanti]

83. believe me

i did learn that after 4 sons and 2 husbands!! i learned to automatically reach back to put it down.

however, my issue is the "spray" that men put out. buy a uv black light and check it out. you will be astounded at all of the urine NOT in the toilet!

[pipi_k]

19. For years the toilet in the main bathroom was booby-trapped...

but only because of its location...right up against the wall in back so the toilet tank cover protruded over the front and it made it impossible for the toilet seat to stay up. Men literally had to hold it up while peeing. I loved it.

Then we added a "Toilevator" to raise the toilet (for people with knee issues). Putting the toilet back in, Mr Pip ended up bringing the toilet out just a hair from the wall so now the tank cover fits and doesn't prevent the seat from staying up.

OK. No biggie. I can deal with that.

But what gets me pissed off (no pun intended) is when guys use the toilet and they have both hands free, but for some reason there's piss on the floor or on the walls because the toilet is in a cubbyhole type location. WTF??? What is it, a runaway fire hose?? They can't aim it at a spot a less than two feet below them and 18 inches across side to side?

Men. There is no reason to piss on the floor or walls!

[Kaleva]

26. An after sex piss could go anywhere.

One can aim right at the toilet but the stream can by off by a 45 degree angle.

[NutmegYankee]

30. Ain't that the truth! nt

[pipi_k]

54. Believe me...these weren't after sex pisses...

Not unless male guests in my home were screwing deer out in the yard while they're here...

[Kaleva]

57. when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth!

[pipi_k]

60. Well I'll have to keep a closer eye on my male guests, then...

or else put up signs saying, "Please don't screw the wildlife"...

[Kaleva]

67. Some men don't hold onto their thing when they piss.

They'll pull it out but then pee hands free before holding it again to shake it (not all men do that though) and then putting it back.

[pipi_k]

92. What the hell are they doing?

Checking their email? Clipping their nose hairs? Crocheting a sweater while they pee?

The only guys who should be peeing without hands are the ones whose weiners stop two inches above the water line...

[madamesilverspurs]

43. But he's sooooooo proud

of being able to write his name in the snow. . .




-

[pipi_k]

Hah. Even I can do that!

http://www.go-girl.com/what-is-gogirl.asp


and


http://www.freshette.com/

[Fearless]

21. Equal rights suggests that each person should put it the way they want it. n/t

[rug]

23. He should have pissed while he was still in the shower.

Very inconsiderate.

[mrmpa]

27. No, no, no........

I just cleaned the shower and the tub mat, today.

[WatsonT]

89. Urine is sterile unless he has a bladder infection

and used historically as a cleaning agent (boiled down of course)

[Shagbark Hickory]

25. I don't think it's the mans responsibilty to lower the toilet seat.

I mean the man had to raise the toilet seat, right?
So it's a fair share of the work..

Afterall, you don't want to encourage men to say "aw fuckit" and just pee with the seat down, do you?

[joshcryer]

32. Naw, the toliet top should be lowered before flushing, so everyone should lower it.

Interestingly neither male or female appear to lower the top in my experience. I always lower it.

[LuvNewcastle]

37. I usually do the same.

When you flush, particles of waste fly up into the air, so it's best to have the seat down when you do.

[joshcryer]

44. Yep, Mythbusters did a test by putting paper over the seat. Particles go *everywhere*.

You want a shit stained bathroom leave the top up. :P

[Shagbark Hickory]

42. Oh you mean to keep aerosolized fecal coliform off the toothbrushes?

[joshcryer]

45. *nods*

Not that there's anything wrong with fecal bacteria, but c'mon, we can reduce the breeding area right? :P

[Shagbark Hickory]

76. I'm pretty sure the mythbusters busted this one.

[Scout]

56. that's the rule at our house ... everybody puts the ring and the lid DOWN.

'cuz that germy, nasty mist can go about 3 feet when you flush with the lid up!

[Raschel]

71. Yes! Close the lid people! Those germs are flying around like mad when you flush!

[sense]

28. The seat belongs down for both parties to

#2. Both parties are completely capable of sitting for #1 also. If men feel incapable of sitting to pee, then they're responsible for returning the seat to the default position when they've "handled" their duty. Don't be a butt. Put the seat back down when you're done. My son lost the privilege of a seat after continuing to pee on his, which was also the used by guests. Logical consequences. Not just for children anymore.

[upi402]

29. women always forget to put it back up

this crap again?

[LuvNewcastle]

33. I always check the toilet before I use it.

I think everyone should.

[Forkboy]

35. Hell, they should just be glad I even make it to the bathroom.

:hide:

[joshcryer]

46. Haha, that's was good.

:hi:

[Forkboy]

68. I made a rule long ago never to be with anyone who gets upset over trivialities.

I've literally seen couples argue over the toothpaste cap being on or off. I'd rather plane my shins than be with people like that. :)

[zappaman]

48. I can never figure out why women can't figure out how to put the toilet seat back up! n/t

[joshcryer]

53. I grew up with brothers and when I learned sitting in urine was nasty, I always put the seat up...

...in our bathroom (we had two bathrooms and the boys were all required to use the hallway one except in poop emergencies, we weren't even allowed to pee in the parents bathroom "Go outside!"). So in the boys bathroom the seat was indeed up as the default position. :)

[malaise]

50. I'm female and have no problem with the toilet seat

Why should our men always have to put it down. We too have hands. Who made that rule anyway.
There are way more important things to deal with in a home. Sometimes hubby forgets - so what.

sp.

[Xithras]

52. In all my years as a man, I've never got my arse wet while sitting on a toilet.

Why not? Because I always check the seat position before planting my gluteus on the porcelain. As a guy, I know better than to ever assume that it's down.

It's not hard. Really.

[WillyT]

55. Me And My Pit Bull Left The Toilet Seat Up At An Olive Garden One Day...

the manager came in and breast-fed and circumcised me at the same time.

The pit bull was not harmed in this joke. Although he did laugh his ass off.

:shrug:

[cliffordu]

61. I KNEW someone was going to go here.......

:rofl:

[cliffordu]

58. I'm man enough to sit when I pee. Read a little.

Or, if I'm in a hurry, just piss in the sink.

[pipi_k]

62. Yeah, Mr Pip sits too...

he gets too tired standing up waiting for things to happen...

[FLPanhandle]

59. Women bothered by this need to get a sailor

Live on a sailboat for a little while and it's impossible to pee on a moving sailboat while standing up neatly. No one wants a urine smelling bilge.

You can tell us sailors as we've learned to sit down to pee. It's a habit after a while.

[pipi_k]

64. Hahahahahah!!!! OK I complained up above

about how male guests come to my house and piss all over my floor and walls. It's like they're being slammed around by 20 foot seas in there...and I'm imagining them spraying everything in sight...

:7

[Buns_of_Fire]

95. Recommendation: Check your screen doors. No, seriously.

You see, sometimes a wayward housefly will get in the house and take up temporary residence in the bathroom. Some guys (especially after enough beers to get sufficiently "loaded") apparently will see that fly as a test of their aim and attempt to shoot down the little sucker, even if it landed on the bath salts, the soap, the box of kleenex, the towels, the rug, the reading material, the toilet paper, the toothbrushes, the little fragrance dispenser over there in the corner, the overhead light... (Usually, all of the above, since flies tend to move.)

It's a challenge. It's also why some guys don't get invited to many house parties.

[yawnmaster]

66. be careful what you wish for. Demand the toilet seat down and you are going to get...

a seat that is down with pee all over it.

[cbdo2007]

73. I'm a guy and am totally grossed out by guys standing up to piss in toilets.

Forget the toilet seat part of the equation, what about all the splash out that gets all over the floor and your shoes/pants?

Trust me ladies, if you have a guy who is standing up to piss, your feet are in his piss splash every time you sit on that toilet.

Men, have some respect and just sit down so there isn't piss all over the floor. I don't want my wife or daughter or myself having to stand in it.

And what about the sound??? There's nothing grosser at a party when a guy goes into the bathroom and everyone can hear him pissing in the toilet. Then that grosses me out more knowing there is piss getting all over the floor.

Sorry for the rant. I guess I gross out easily.

[JVS]

75. I just pee into the sink, shower, or tub.

[Kingofalldems]

74. At least you know he picked it up before going

[RegieRocker]

77. There was a study down on this very topic.

It revealed that the proper way is to leave to the toilet seat is up. Small boys can get their you know what damaged when lifting it up to urinate. It has fallen on many tykes you know what. So women give it up and just put the seat down yourself, it's not that big of deal. Plus dogs and cats like to drink and play in it.


http://www.livescience.com/3150-doctor-advice-leave-toilet-seat.html

[rufus dog]

78. was there piss on your toilet seat?

Obviously not, thus you should be happy.

[DCBob]

79. Funny twist on this..

I usually put the seat down afterwards however when I did this with my new girlfriend she questioned me if I pee'ed through the hole.

Seems a guy cant win no matter. ;)

[johnaries]

84. My reply to the statement "I almost fell in!"

"Don't you look before you sit?"

Seriously, I knew one girl who obviously had the answer to this age-old argument. She had a fluffy toilet-seat cover that simply wouldn't stay up unless you held it up. Since women sit against it, it was no issue for them. Standing guys had to use at least one hand to hold it up. This also meant that they had to hunch over the toilet to hold the seat up with one hand, which meant that any unintentional leakage also fell in the water - no spots.

Inconvenient for the guys, but pure brilliance for the women.

[HopeHoops]

85. I have a wife and three daughters. The seats are ALWAYS down.

[ProfessorGAC]

86. I Not Only Put The Seat Down. . .

. . .i always close the lid too. Just something i picked up over time. My dad taught me to put the seat down, but later on i just started closing the whole thing.
GAC

[pipi_k]

91. Keeping the lid down

is a great idea.

Especially if you have some sort of cabinet thingy over the toilet. I can't count the number of times I would have had to go fishing in the toilet for something that I tried to get out of the cabinet and ended up dropping.

[ProfessorGAC]

93. I Hadn't Thought Of That

We used to have something like that, but not anymore. Also, it keeps the dog from drinking out of the bowl.
GAC

[Ganja Ninja]

87. What is it with women always leaving the toilet seat down? n/t

[WatsonT]

90. Adults of either gender should be able to figure this out

complain to me too many times that you are so burdened with lowering the seat (which apparently isn't a burden for men who are expected to raise *and* lower it) and I'll just use the sink. Those are your options.

[Township75]

96. I always put it down, so I can piss all over it.

Then leave it for the next person!

[Broderick]

97. I use to have a big sign above my toilet for humor that read

I believe in equal rights. Please put the toilet seat back up when finished.

[Darth_Kitten]

99. exactly.

you put it down. Why is that so hard?

[ensho]

100. and men splash pee everywhere and don't wipe it up

when one of my boys was about 3ish he thought it would be neat to pee into the heat duct next to the toilet. what a mess! he learned real quick what mamma thought about that.