Please Have Your Credit Card Ready

[paparush]

{{Thinking of sending this to our local paper as LTE. Our paper has been bombarded by Tea Baggers lately. They've clearly been to some workshop or something as they've been carrying on an extended letter writing campaign railing against unions, taxes, big govt, etc..}}


Please Have Your Credit Card Ready

With all the recent talk about doing away with unions and taxes, shrinking government and growing privatization, I thought it might be fun to look into the not too distant future.

Citizen X: Is this the Town Hall?

GreedyLazy Govt Worker: Well it used to be. We've been sold off to Hallihurtin.

Citizen X: But, there's sludge coming out of my sink.

GreedyLazy Govt Worker: Here's their 800 number. I gotta go. Smogress Energy is taking over this office today.

Citizen X: But...

Citizen X dials Hallihurtin

Call Center Message: You have reached Hallihurtin Global Customer Service Center. If you are a Gold Level shareholder, press 1. Silver Level shareholder, press 2. All other customers, please stay on the line.

49 minutes later..

Call Center Rep: Thank you for calling Hallihurtin, may I have your name please.

Citizen X: Listen, I got no water. There's sludge coming out of my sink, my toilet won't flush, and my washing machine's ruined.

Call Center Rep: I understand sir. I need your Hallihurtin Municipal Services account number.

Citizen X: Listen, fella, I need some help here. I got no water.

Call Center Rep: I understand sir. A field service agent should be at your residence within the next 3-5 business days.

Citizen X: Three to five days? Are you serious? Listen I pay my tax..oh. Um, listen, this aint right.

Call Center Rep: Sir, if you would like, we can upgrade your account to our Glass Half Full Service. We're running a special this month for $89.95, that includes one hour of free on site service, subject to restrictions in some areas. Sir? Sir?

So all you good folks clammering for doing away with taxes and unions, get ready to have big business billionaires sucking the very meat off your bones.

[Hydra]

1. There's a funny type of religion that says that corporations are holy

Perhaps our greatest failure as a party was not fighting that idea tooth and nail.

Capitalism is ugly as hell under the mask.

[Prophet 451]

5. It's called "Republican Christianity"

Republican Christianity is a registered trademark and used by license from the Republican National Convention & Congregation. Any resemblance to traditional Christianity or the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth is entirely conincidental. All rights reserved.

[villager]

2. definitely send it...

:thumbsup:

[Curmudgeoness]

3. In the not too distant future.....that is what is truly scary.

:scared:

We are getting closer to this every day, and too many people just do not see it.

[provis99]

4. I think you've got the basis of a dystopian novel in the works.

[Prophet 451]

6. Read Ben Elton's "Blind Faith"

and be afraid.