Why do men do it?

[AndiMer]

The Terminator did it. Tiger Woods, the only person on Earth who could get me interested in golf, did it. President Kennedy did it. President Clinton did it. Eisenhower did it before was President. John Ensign, Newt Gingrich, Eliot Spitzer all did it.

My father did it. My dad, whom I still worship, did it. The guy who taught me to play baseball, who taught me to drive, who beat the shit out of the scumbag who raped me, did it. He cheated on my mom.

Why? That's all I want to know. Why?

[Shagbark Hickory]

1. Why is everyone under the impression that monogamous social pairing is human nature?

Is it because religious teachings and religious traditions tell us so?

[seabeyond]

2. as much points to that as doesn't. nt

[RegieRocker]

7. Condoms haven't been around forever but sex and disease has. That

is the reason for monogamy.

[Shagbark Hickory]

37. So get married so you don't get an STD.

This message brought to you by the 700 club.

[RegieRocker]

91. 700 club is b.s. This is just common sense which seems to be severely

lacking at present. Mankind learned this from experience. End of story.

[WatsonT]

101. Well if you both were STD free going in

and remain monogamous then it is true.

I suppose there will always be exceptions, maybe you share a drink with someone who is shedding herpes, or you get a bad blood transfusion. But in the vast majority of cases if you meet those two criteria you won't get an STD.

[RegieRocker]

166. My point was cause and effect came first. Then it became part of

religion. Perhaps we had better capabilities with smell like animals at one point and could protect ourselves that way. Eventually man learns not to eat the wrong mushrooms. Quite possibly, the only protection man could achieve from sexually transmitted diseases was from abstinence and monogamy. It had nothing to do with religion.

[trotsky]

155. Well, the reason why STDs have been around forever...

is that humans have never been strictly monogamous animals.

[Scuba]

18. Accepting that as a misconception would explain the "why". n/t

[seabeyond]

21. how can one accept that as a concept when reality tells us, vast majority of people have an innate

need to find one mate, from beginning of time. not something concrete that we can touch or feel or see, but it is certainly there within us

[Shagbark Hickory]

38. How come sexual fantasies are constantly changing?

Do you partake in masterbation?

[seabeyond]

42. ya... ok, so??? still. innately, the vast majority of people look for a mate. nt

[PassingFair]

55. Yup.

It's because our offspring require an extended
care-taking period.

At least 18 years for optimal results.

[seabeyond]

64. nah. too many factors shows it is not just that. after child rearing days, it is still an innate

need for most all people i know. even those die hard singles, still talk about the desire of it, even though they have made a commitment not to. it is something within they fight.

[ellenfl]

138. they have a desire for monogamy because society has told them

they should.

ellen fl

[seabeyond]

139. and i disagree. i think they do it for a number of reasons that outweigh, by far, the

desire for different.

[Shagbark Hickory]

151. For different reasons than they look for a quick fuck buddy.

[WatsonT]

67. Looking for one person to be with the rest of your life and being sexually monogamous

are not the same thing.

Do you ever watch porn or fantasize? If so, is it the exact same person (your husband/boyfriend if you're in a couple) every time?

[seabeyond]

71. again .... so? nt

[WatsonT]

73. The fact that most if not all people

have sexual fantasies about a wide array of different people would not support the argument that we are inherently sexually monogamous.

You argue that everyone is somehow seeking out one person for companionship for the rest of their life. Even assuming that is true that doesn't equal sexual monogamy, a relatively new concept in the history of human civilization.

For most of our history people formed together in to some kind of family units for mutual support and raising children, however the demand that these units be sexually exclusive is a relatively new one. If that were human nature you would think it would have been this way all along.

[seabeyond]

78. i dsiagree with your post in many directions but have found

when discussing with you i go in circles. and you ignore any relevant point. so i dont discuss with you anymore

but i do enjoy reading your posts

:hi:

[txlibdem]

131. Why do chimpanzee females copulate with multiple partners when they're in estrus?

So that all the males will have a reason to suspect that this offspring may be theirs, so they will not kill it.

I suspect that we humans are somewhere between that extreme and the bonobos, who engage in hetero and non-hetero intercourse seemingly at the drop of a hat. This solidifies the bonds within their group.

When I see someone else's kid (let's be honest) I don't say what I think of it. I say how darling, how cute. What I'm really thinking is how ugly and how much less attractive/intelligent/worthwhile/etc., than my own child is (or was). We have evolved beyond actually murdering the "other" child, but we still retain some of the instinct that chimps and other primates brutishly exhibit for all to see.

This preservation/procreation of self is built into our "lizard brain" and we are far from eradicating it from our collective psyches.

[Scuba]

114. This closely reflects my opinion. A life mate is highly desirable, but does not....

...preclude other sexual partners. Hasn't it always been so?

[ellenfl]

136. i disagree with the premise that a majority want only one mate . . .

although i would agree that the majority of people want only one mate at a time.

ellen fl

[DireStrike]

137. Reality tells you this? The same reality where so many men (and plenty of women) cheat? -nt-

[seabeyond]

140. most recent study i saw, over 17% women cheat (they lie and hide better) and 21% of men

cheat.

minority

[DireStrike]

167. Mmm. I guess it is indeed a minority.

Pretty large minority though. It's interesting.

[WatsonT]

68. Well let's just check out our closest living relatives, the chimpanzees

hmm . .. it appears they would fuck a hole in the wall if given a chance. Monogamy appears pretty low on their priority list.

Well let's look at the size of our testicles relative to our body, a good indicator of sexual monogamy. Hmm, quite large, implying sexual promiscuity in our ancestry.

Well let's then look at all of human history and . .. ah forget it. Yeah it can't really be claimed that we are naturally monogamous.

[sybylla]

92. So you're saying being a dick is inherently human.

There is obviously a segment of our population incapable of building a close bond with another human. Excusing "cheating" as just human nature because we aren't meant to be monogamous is bullshit.

OTOH, being self-absorbed, greedy, unthinking, manipulative, egotistical and self-abusive (in a non-masturbation sense) is certainly not rare and far more likely an explanation in keeping with Occam's Razor.

The Bush years showed us all that there's a sector of our population that are hardly more than a bunch of big-brained apes who let self-gratification rule their lives, acting like thugs to get their way, throwing shit at people they don't like and screwing everything it can get close enough to.

Who the heck could love that?

[WatsonT]

103. "So you're saying being a dick is inherently human." Well if you look at our history . . .

yeah, kinda.

[seabeyond]

106. you do not factor in societal conditioning and expectation. nt

[WatsonT]

109. Both of which were created from thin air and have nothing to do with our natures?

The first person to decide to create civilization said "Ok just for the hell of it I'm going to make up a bunch of insane rules and expectations that everyone will blindly follow from now on"

[seabeyond]

110. of course it would have nothing to do with your argument. makes it a failed argument. lmao. nt

[WatsonT]

112. Huh?

You are the one trying to separate human nature from human society.

I think you have lost this argument.

You claim people are naturally monogamous despite mountains of cultural and biological evidence to the contrary.

Then you claim that all that is merely a result of conditioning which arose from no where and has no basis in anything, we just invented it for no reason apparently.

Just where do you think culture comes from? Does the fact that we are human and evolved in a certain way have nothing whatsoever to do with it? So dolphins or parrots or earthworms if sufficiently intelligent would develop the exact same culture?

[ellenfl]

134. morality is a manmade construct. in most of nature, animals

have no morals, as our religions define them. however, as far as we know, animals do not have a conscience either. i have never believed that one person can be the end-all, be-all for another. i know it happens, just a some critters take a mate for life, but i do not think it is natural or the norm.

ellen fl

[rbnyc]

189. Monogomy is a choice.

I agree that it's probably not an innate characteristic. I do think it's a valid choice. Evidence seems to suggest that men have a harder time honoring that choice than women do.

My personal experience is that I have cheated on more men than the men in my life have cheated on me. (However, I've never cheated on a woman and a woman has never cheated on me.)

:evilgrin:

I am married now and maintain a monogamous relationship by conscious choice. (I'm also old, busy, tired and not as good-looking as I used to be.)

Anyway, it's an interesting topic and a complex one.

P.S. I am a woman, by the way. If you don't know me, there wouldn't necessarily be a reason to assume that.

[defendandprotect]

192. Monogamous marriage myth still stands -- but think we're working our way out of it -- ?

Patriarchy's invention, in fact --

Where I think we have a problem with some of these cases is where sexual aggression

is being taught to males --

and that's how I think of Arnhold --

and how I think of O. J. Simpson -- in reading about that case, his first contact with

Nicole some suspected of being one of an aggressive pushing of intercourse on her --

If I remember this correctly, she arrived home with her jeans being ripped.


Whenever we have these discussions about monogamy, they usually get waylaid by people

who believe in or who have had other experiences trying to suggest that everyone else

just isn't trying hard enough!


And here we see how entitled some males think they are -- especially with the rise of the

right -- to have control over others, most especially women and sex without consent --

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/imf_head_assault

[no_hypocrisy]

3. I think they're hot-wired where they "have to" do it.

It's not choice but instinct (being impelled vs. being compelled).

[seabeyond]

11. since women do it almost as much as men, does that mean women are hot wired, or

just bitches.

[no_hypocrisy]

28. Hot wired. It's equal opportunity.

[seabeyond]

29. ah. good to hear no gender bias. i like that. why is it a strong minority then, not the majority?

see, i dont believe that it is hot wired, lol. can you tell. i just think the people lack character and little consideration for others in hurting them

[no_hypocrisy]

34. Different reasons for why people choose not to engage in this activity

Socialization, fear of being caught, fear of accountability/responsibility, guilt after the act, fear of blackmail. I'd say mostly fear rather than pragmatic consideration of consequences.

[seabeyond]

44. hm.... i guess then we can say murder is natural but we only dont do it for a number of fear reason

good argument though. but not buying it. i have had no instinct or desire or thought (not even a moment) of cheating on mate.

i think one has to talk self into it with actual steps with the mind, so i think it is far from natural.

[no_hypocrisy]

51. Qualification: the instinct is not universal. Not everyone has the itch.

I don't have the itch like you don't.

I've observed others for years and just seen consistent motivation or lack thereof.

[seabeyond]

65. i really think it is learned.... and to do with character.

what a person will allow in their life, and what they will not. there were times, like edwards diabolical, where posters would say ANYONE can find themselves in that position. i totally disagree. i would never find myself in that position because i totally disagree with that behavior. i have a code, and in that code, i strongly believe, that if i ever feel the need, then it is a must that i leave the relationship. there is no if and and buts... if one allows no if ands or buts, then the mind never starts the process that allows a person to cheat.

a person has to convince themselves to do.

[socialist_n_TN]

96. WOW! That's pretty drastic IMO.........

If my wife cheated on me, I wouldn't AUTOMATICALLY think that we should divorce. There are SO many other reasons to pair bond than sex, even when the child raising is done.

By the same token, if I cheated I wouldn't think it AUTOMATICALLY disolved the pair bond. Of course it I cheated, it wouldn't be my choice.

I do think that humans can compartmentalize sexuality and mating. They're not necessarily the same thing. We probably disagree on this.

As to the gender neutrality of the urge to cheat, the last study I read about this subject seemed to suggest that it IS gender neutral when all other factors (income, etc) are equal.

[seabeyond]

105. interesting. really. i totally believe you can compartmentalize. absolutely.

we were having a discussion on du, and i saw some people would nto want to be told mate was cheating by a friend. i could nto believe that. to me if a friend did not tell me, i would end friendship. the person lied to me, by not telling me. it is a need to know for me. others didnt want to know. so i did a poll. would you want to know if mate cheated. majority said yes. but a significant minority said no. i did not gender specify on that poll.

so i asked hubby. would you want to know. he said no. he would not want to know. married all these years, and it surprised me so much.

i have asked this question since and though i had one female friend say she would not want to know, the majority are men that say they would not want to know.

it is a deal breaker for me. i have my reasons.... that has formed that line for me. i understand why i feel that way.

[socialist_n_TN]

118. When I was younger, I would have said I wanted to know

However, I wouldn't break a friendship over NOT being told. Empathetically, I can understand how that is a REAL uncomfortable situation for the friend. TOO many people blame the messenger for the bad news. Plus if you're friends with BOTH partners, you are, implicitly or explicitly, breaking a trust EITHER CHOICE YOU MAKE.

Now, I don't care either way whether I know or not. My focus now is on whether it affects MY relationship with my SO. If there's no discernible effect, then tell me or not tell me, it's all the same. At least I THINK that's how I feel. Intellectually so anyway.

[oldlib]

143. I think that you can

separate the marriage relationship from sometime feeling the urge for sex outside the marriage. This does not need to destroy the marriage, if discretion is used, and there is also no need to discuss it with your partner.

[seabeyond]

145. eeeew. lol. see, that. dishonesty. cant stomach it. living a lie, repulses me.

you are taking all control and decision from mate and telling them, there feeling does not matter on so many levels. how can that be justified.

[Richardo]

14. Bullshit

Humans have a highly-developed capacity for decision-making and cognitive thought.

[Fumesucker]

24. Your screen name is remarkably ironic.. n/t

[Shagbark Hickory]

153. It's a tree dude.

http://www.dnr.state.oh.us/Home/trees/hickory_shg/tabid/5374/Default.aspx

[EstimatedProphet]

179. I think he was talking to someone else

[Shagbark Hickory]

201. Oh, you're right. I've never seen so many expansive sub threads but its hard to line them up. nt

[EstimatedProphet]

47. Yeah! I did it!

No wait - I never once cheated in any relationship, including 2 marriages. I do not do that. I will break them first. Period.

But, I'm a man, so I must be wired to cheat...

Now I'm confused. How can both of those things possibly be true?

:shrug:

[seabeyond]

62. i love listening to men stand up for themselves on these types of issues. nt

[EstimatedProphet]

72. We should stand up for ourselves on this

It is patently absurd to claim that men are wired to cheat just because they are men. That's not an opinion - that's prejudice.

[seabeyond]

79. agreed. and RL is what convinces me of the fallacy. nt

[txlibdem]

132. Especially since women cheat just as much as men do

It's not a battle of the sexes we're having here. It's a discussion of the exact percentage of our thoughts and behavior are caused by genetic predispositions versus "learned behavior." I you grew up in Catholic school with the ruler to the knuckles on a regular basis, are you more or less likely to become promiscuous after leaving that environment? If you grew up in a hippie commune where there were no rules, would you grow up to be a "free love" type or would you turn the opposite direction and seek the monogamy that you never experienced?

Or is there an underlying genetic imperative to "go forth and multiply," spreading your seed as far and wide as possible to ensure your genetic code survives another generation?

[seabeyond]

133. "go forth and multiply,"

or

by spreading the seed and unable to be around to protect and help your genetic code survive, are you not doing exactly the opposite of goal, ergo mate with one to ensure a better risk of survival.

[txlibdem]

197. There wasn't as much flight risk as you seem to imply

In those early days Mankind lived in groups of 20 to 100 max. Those societies were communal: everything was shared with everyone else. The best hunters would go out for days and return with meat. The women and men who were left would be out gathering roots, tubers, berries and fruits, fashioning shelters from the limbs, leaves and bark of local trees, etc. That society worked for millions of years.

Nobody had access to an airport and nobody thought about hoarding the tubers for themselves. Now that we're all thinking only of "I got mine so screw you" and "looking out for number 1" this society is collapsing upon itself like a house of cards on a windy day.

PS, up to about 10,000 years ago, when an individual showed tendencies to hoard stuff for themselves or to cheat others in the group they were banished to fend for themselves out among the (insert ferocious predator here). I definitely think we need to return to that type of society.

edit to add: ... but with our current level of technology, rights and amenities.

[Shagbark Hickory]

156. Did anyone say anything definitive one way or the other?

Especially about being a man?

[EstimatedProphet]

180. Seems like it to me

"I think they're hot-wired where they "have to" do it."

[ZombieHorde]

70. I have never cheated. If any of my male friends have cheated, they keep it a secret from me.

I think some guys cheat because they either need to feel special, or they're a creep and don't really care about the person they are with.

[Common Sense Party]

147. I don't know a single guy who has cheated, either.

We must hang out in boring circles.



(I know OF a few cheaters, but I don't really know them.)

[Shagbark Hickory]

158. Um yeah, people usually do it because they get horny and either their

usual sex partner is not around or they have temporarily gained an interest in someone else.
Its obviously natural, people don't take some kind of medication to make them want to try out a new sex partner.

[H2O Man]

4. They do not

do it alone: hence, your question should be, "Why do men and women do it?"

[Bunny]

5. Women do it, too.

It's human nature. What is so hard to understand about that? :shrug:

[Richardo]

6. Why do women do it?

[Iggo]

100. +1

[Lorien]

165. 1 in 4 men do it, 1 in 10 women do it

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17951664/ns/health-sexual_health/t/many-cheat-thrill-more-stay-true-love/

Attempting to change the conversation doesn't change the facts.

[former9thward]

170. Your math does not add up.

"The study found that 22 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have cheated at least once" That is from your link. Not much of a difference. And that is self reporting. A man is more likely to admit cheating than a woman. You are attempting to change the conversation by changing the facts.

[Richardo]

173. The OP said 'men', not '1 in 4 men'.

Therefore, I say 'women'. I deserve a broad brush too.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

178. I followed that link. As another poster says above, your numbers are wrong. Please explain. -nt

[hobbit709]

8. It's an equal opportunity thing.

I've known several women who did the same. The main difference is that women are usually more discreet about it.

[seabeyond]

12. i have heard. women are much better at lying about it... never saying a word

giving self away, even in studies, lol

[seabeyond]

9. statistically, women are catching up. they are not too far off the men that do it. also,

statistically it is a strong minority that cheat.

you have got to remember the titillation factor, ergo too often in our face. socially, there seems a move to promote the conditioning all men do it. and that is just not true. and those whose ego is fed thru power see it as a manifestation of success and is owed to them. power being the incentitive. feeding ego that must always be fed

[tanyev]

10. Often, because they can.

[howard112211]

15. Exactly.

[Fumesucker]

13. Why do women do it?

My ex who I was totally faithful to for thirty years screwed around on me and then divorced me for the other guy.

The way you phrased your OP was distasteful to me because you imply it's only men who screw around.

[seabeyond]

17. well,

good riddance. 30 yrs? wow. you would think that at a certain point you could say, done, this is life and settle.

:hug:

[madokie]

16. The same reason that some women do it

Yup I have no answer for that either.
Peace

[howard112211]

19. Well, it does take two.

For every heterosexual man that cheats, there is a women who was willing to cheat with him.

Besides, women cheat too.

[Solomon]

20. The reason I think a lot of people do it, especially people with

high powered jobs and burdens, is that it is one of the few things that a person does that can make them forget about everything, if even for a few minutes. I'm not saying that this is an excuse, but even if you try to drown yourself in drugs or booze, unless you do it to the point of unconsciousness, you will still have to think about your pain, whatever it may be. The few minutes of sex is the only thing I can think of that would make one totally forget the world if only for a moment.

[marions ghost]

39. Sex with anyone

can make you REMEMBER the world in a seriously bad way.

High-powered jobs & burdens...hmmmm. I'm getting a lot of flashbacks of "Mad Men." Are we stuck in the 50's then? :donut:

[Solomon]

59. Yeah but that AFTERWARDS. LOL

I don't get your comment about "Mad Men". Are you trying to say women don't have highpowered stressful jobs? I've never watched Mad Men so I don't have the slightest inkling of what you're talking about.

I just imagine that for some one like a President of the US, dealing with shit everyday 24 hours a day, there is no escape from "thinking" about all the shit, and the only thing I can imagine that would be an escape from that, if even for a minute or two, is sex. That's all I meant.

And no, I'm not stuck in the 50's. Maybe you are.

[marions ghost]

60. "Mad Men"

is the series about 50's era New York ad men, the typical bad boys of the time. They go around wreaking havoc and wondering "what's all the fuss?" It's the world you're talking about.

Maybe the stressed-out business people and presidents should all have several wives like OBL. Solves the problem. And if female execs need this type of stress reliever, OK then, goose and gander and all that.

So what does Obama do? Probably he has sex with his wife, even though they're both busy. Maybe that's what's really old-fashioned?

Anyway I say there's more to this than merely a need for more sex than other people.

[Bluenorthwest]

83. Actually, Mad Men is set in the 1960's not the 50's and it is all

about the destructive nature of lies, even well told spin, on the tellers as well as those they lie to. The lead character, far from wondering 'what's all the fuss' is living under a false name and id, he is constantly aware of the thin veneer of hypocrisy that keeps him afloat. The women's roles are among the best, due to the opening horizons of the times. Some of them are wreaking havoc, others are climbing a ladder they have just gained access to. It is stunning stuff.

[marions ghost]

150. Actually

when it starts off in 1960, Mad Men reflects the 50's. With a lot to say about how men in power exploit others in their roles as husbands and partners.

The main character in Mad Men is not portrayed as 'constantly aware' IMO. He is portrayed as acting out of compulsions and the sense of entitlement that such men had then--and have now--which is why I brought it up. (The comparison to the present day = a vestige of those times...). Some men ARE still in the 50's --and so are some women, it goes w/out saying.

The main character gradually comes to be aware of his situation, but he still acts like a jerk. He is very confined by the tightrope he is walking, which the viewer might have some sympathy for, but he is not an enlightened man. Sure, the changing roles of women are portrayed but for the most part women are treated badly.

I see these people--Clinton, Ahnold, Edwards, Ensign, Newt, Tiger, etc etc--all as a holdover from those 50's-60's times. They think they can have it all. It's the exploitation, the urge for constant conquests that ties into the corporate modus operandi. Younger men are smarter, maybe? But we'll see, when they get a little tired of marriage and the kids are out of the house....still I think things have changed with the younger generation.

[NV Whino]

85. Minor correction

Mad Men is set in the 60s – the beginning of the sexual revolution.

(Not that cheating wasn't happening in the 50s, too.)

[marions ghost]

144. It starts in 1960

but harks back to the late 50's --actually what it does is show the transition that happened then.

Many of the morays, roles, clothes, cars are straight out of the 50's because of course the preceding decade always affects the one that follows.

So in many ways it reflects the 50's.

[Marr]

125. I disagree. I think people with fame/power/status cheat because they have more opportunities.

Those things are aphrodisiacs for many people. What's more, people in those kinds of positions tend to either start out with overinflated egos and feel they deserve the things they desire at any given moment, or they develop that attitude over time.

[seabeyond]

127. as a woman i can say

that i have had lotsa lotsa opportunity. i am a stay at home. so i have the time. the means to hide it. and pretty confident today, i could walk out of the house and find someone to screw.

i am not buying the opportunity thing.

[Marr]

135. Of course you have opportunities-- you're a woman.

A man is in a different position. A man without status is a man without a lot of sexual opportunities. Men with status have a lot more opportunities, and are more likely to feel justified in seizing them anyway.

Perhaps I should've specified "men" in my previous post. For whatever reason, women with status don't seem all that much more likely to cheat than women without a lot of status.

[seabeyond]

141. i have to disagree for the smple logical reason that enough males had the opportunity

to be right up there with women, statisically.

[Myrina]

22. Why do we insist that there is no difference between 'sex' and 'love'

... or that one can and must only that that double-decker type of relationship with only one other person at a time?

I have been deeply in "love", but have always cheated sexually. Not because I wanted 'out' of the relationship, not because I 'felt like I could get away with it' but because I was so physically drawn to that other man.

:shrug:

[seabeyond]

25. well hell, walking down the street i said, i feel the need to pee, so i dropped pants and

squatted simply cause i physically felt the urge., lol

[marions ghost]

36. !?!

:rofl:

"Chust Doo It!" (Da Terminata)

[seabeyond]

46. do it. just do it. do it..... (starsky and hutch remake). wink. nt

[renate]

116. well, that made me laugh

:rofl:

And it seems like a pretty good example of how people have urges but can choose not to act on them. (In addition, nobody gets hurt if you pee in the street, whereas cheating breaks hearts.) It's really not fair for one person's urges to end up changing their partner's life forever, and if there are kids in the family that's even worse.

I suppose I can see how somebody in a marriage that is both emotionally cold and sexless could cheat, but if someone's in a loving and supporting relationship but just isn't getting enough sex, there's an option that doesn't involve other people.

On edit: Although I never said "he" or "she" I should clarify that I'm talking about both men and women; obviously, people of both genders cheat.

[seabeyond]

117. i have always felt a need not to hurt others. has made life pretty damn easy. nt

[Myrina]

123. Fine with me. It's the 'social construct' of it being wrong that makes it wrong.

n/t

[seabeyond]

124. ya. that ole, damn social construct that makes murder and theft wrong. i hear ya

i prefer to live under 'social construct' . just my thang.

[Common Sense Party]

148. You old-fashioned prude.

I mean that as a compliment.


I wish more people--a lot more--lived under social construct.

Instead, we have societal entropy.

[seabeyond]

182. mmm

firstly, will be the first time i take prude as a compliment and secondly?

well, i have watched people lots of years. not seeing chaos bringing a whole lot of happiness and contentment to life, though some swear by it. the end results seem to bring unhappiness and anxiety and more.

[Common Sense Party]

191. I'm a prude dude. I don't think it should carry the derogatory weight

that society gives the word. 'Prude' stems from the same source as 'prudent' and the world could use more prudent people--people who stop and think before they speak or act. People who don't do something just because it feels good, and damn the consequences.

I agree with you wholeheartedly--some people can't live without drama and chaos in their lives. They never seem to understand that they have the freedom to choose their own actions, and that choices have consequences, and that a great deal (though not all) of the chaos in their lives comes directly from the imprudent choices they make.

[seabeyond]

195. yep yep yep. one of the things

i have really valued from this france thing is really looking at this supposed superiority in "sexual sophistication" vs our prudient america. and i have reached the same conclusion i have always felt when lectured on this. give me americas values and male/female roles any day. i know they preceive that the woman is more equal in those cultures and i see exactly the opposite. the devaluing of female. if it is a prude to say no to rape, then prude i am. not a chuckle of men just being men.

the same thing with pragmatic. i am pragmatic. my father was talking to me about my brothers behavior and once again brothers poor choices and i told dad my opinion on what he should do. now this brother is 50 after all. enough is enough. he said to me.... you are so pragmatic. like it was a bad thing. i laughed, and said, ya.... that is a good thing. i never thought it a bad thing. dont really get where he is coming from. lol

thanks for your conversation. sigh.

[MikeW]

198. did you really write "I have been deeply in "love", but have always cheated sexually"

No wonder the fking country is in the shape its in.

[Eddie Haskell]

23. Carry a condom and a contract

I hereby certify that I do give my consent ... and that my only renumeration will be that of mutual pleasure.

[RadiationTherapy]

26. I blame the women.

If he was getting it good at home he wouldn't have to go outside the house for a little poon-tang.

sarcasm, obviously, but I tried to match the one-sided ignorance of the original sentiment.

[seabeyond]

27. i kept reading, looking at your name, reading, looking at your name

after first sentence, sat there trying to digest....

glad i went to last sentence before posting.

lol

even checked your profile to make sure you were RT from FL. lol

that was funny

[RadiationTherapy]

30. You can count on me, SB.

I try to maintain a level head in the gender game. It is ugly out there sometimes.

[seabeyond]

31. i have all the confidence in the world.... RT. lol. nt

[Richardo]

32. !!

:spray:

[marions ghost]

33. some do it

for the adolescent thrill of doing something "naughty." Cheap thrills. Instant ego-gratification. (Assuming they are lying to the partner and sneaking around). Now logic says that if you really are unhappy in marriage, then get out of it. But most men who do it want the "good girl" and the "bad girl." And also the entitlement thing--it's a perk of being rich and powerful. This is true in all the celebrity cases. If their wives would have put up with it, the arrangement would suit them just fine. But the good girls tend to go for divorce, Hillary Clinton being an outlier on that. Sometimes men do actually have a bad marriage, but for most that's just an excuse. They just don't want to settle for either/or--they want both. Wow, I am such a desirable being. (All about moi).

Women do it for different reasons. Half the time they actually think the partner is "the one" and the relationship will continue after marriage(s) break up. (John, Rielle) Women more often do it because of a sense of lacking options, rather than the "more is more" attitude of men. Not saying either is better or worse.

In fact I'm not making a judgment morally--just observing the phenomenon. Long term infidelity seems to cause more problems than it solve, so I see it as a fairly immature adaptation to the confines of marriage. Obviously I'm not one to be turned on by the complexities of multiple relationships. I have other hobbies.

The most honest attitude I've seen on this is a friend of mine, a man, who is not married, though hitting 40. He jokingly says, "for me to be married would be unfair to women on so many levels." Ha ha, my answer was, "admirable choice!"

The issue for women boils down to--can't wait too long if you want kids. That men see "life after kids" a little differently is a problem...

[mmonk]

35. Some do, some don't.

And they aren't doing it by themselves. I suppose sometimes it's the moment. Sometimes because they can. Sometimes maybe it's something neurological going on or a biological clock. Sometimes, it's because they a jerk. It's been with us I suppose since the existence of human beings. And some of it, I'm sure, is because our society is screwed up.

[TheCowsCameHome]

40. It's in their jeans.

n/t

[WinkyDink]

53. Or not! ;-)

[seabeyond]

66. i was thinkin. i was thinkin if in the jeans... where is the beef? nt

[spanone]

41. it takes two to tango

[shanti]

160. exactly.

nothing further needs to be said.

[dynasaw]

43. Not ALL Men

Please . . . this sweeping statement is unfair. There are males who are capable of long term fidelity. What has been in the news
deals with high powered males whose status generally makes them lose all sense o fperspective. I had posted this view elsewhere which got ignored but which I think really hits the point:

"Why, your average voting citizen asks, would someone who has given his entire life over to striving for power risk everything for some fleeting sexual experience? Why, especially, do those men who fancy themselves not just political but moral leaders so readily make exceptions for their own peccadilloes?

Most of us will never know, because most of us aren't wealthy members of an elite class who have been pampered into forgetting that you can't have whatever you want whenever you want it. For most of us, cleaning our own houses, cooking our own food and having to fly coach provides a daily dose of humility – which can be a helpful thing to keep in mind when sexual temptations present themselves.

To make it even worse, even the more liberal-minded male politicians not only have this kind of class pampering, but they also tend to live in a world where women are easy to take for granted. For many a male politician, women appear to exist for the purpose of making your life more pleasant and your ambitions easier to realise. It's not just that women are more likely to fetch your food, fluff your pillows and organise your life while you sit around talking politics and strategy in male-dominated groups of strategists and advisers. It's also that your wife has been demoted from a partner to your top cheerleader, expected to compromise her principles and ambitions so you can attain power. . .there are two camps of egotistical politicians who cheat so stupidly, and the two should not be conflated: those who value consent and those who treat women like sex toys they can grab at, with little regard for what the women in question feel on the subject. Men like Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich are cheating cads, but they, as far as we all know, draw the line at violence against women. Unfortunately, when you build up a culture of overwhelming male entitlement such as politicians live in, you can't expect all of them to understand that, while cheating and lying is bad, harassing and assaulting is exponentially worse."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2011...

[marions ghost]

57. well said

:thumbsup:

[WatsonT]

75. You're new here so you don't know

but sweeping generalizations about certain groups (men in this case) are perfectly acceptable here. And there's a fair chance you will be called a bigot for complaining about it.

Just fair warning.

[seabeyond]

80. hm. perfectly acceptable? look at the vast majority disagreeing. i have yet to see one called out

for being a bigot.

i disagree with you accessment and am often in the center of it all, and for a longer time. du is much better than the credit you give it.

:hi:

[WatsonT]

82. Actually

you're guilty of this too.

In case you forgot:http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x737180

I committed the unpardonable sin of suggesting that most men don't yell obscenities at women in the streets and you flew off the handle and called me all sorts of names.

[seabeyond]

88. you give me a huge thread. i am not going to hunt what you are suggesting.

you, are a very frustrating poster to have a discussion with. hence my post above. you ignore what is said and bring up something different, ending up in a circle. i have learned to respond once, and move on. cause the goal post will change in the next post.

cant argue that thread, cause not hunting shit down to figure it out

on edit... this post being exactly what i talk about. you call out du, i counter your comment, factually, correctly and you conveniently ignore that you are wrong. bring something else up

:hi:

[WatsonT]

90. Right right

I responded exactly to what you said. (btw if you hit ctrl+f you can search for just your name on there)

If you don't care to argue the point just say so but don't pretend I'm guilty of anything other than offering an argument you can't refute.


I haven't once changed the goal posts, my arguments are clear and concise and follow exactly what is in the OP or what is said in response to my comments.

[seabeyond]

95. you nderstand you stated sweeping statements accepted, (which this thread proves otherwise)

and will be called a bigot (which no one has)

that makes you wrong. all you had to do is peruse thread to know you are wrong

[WatsonT]

104. Actually I said it was a possibility

not that it would happen. And in general sweeping statments about men are accepted.

There is mild opposition to this sweeping generalization from some people, but consider if the situation were reversed and this were instead a criticism of the entire female gender. You suppose the outrage would be turned up a notch?

Or for that matter a thread mocking Christianity v. one mocking Islam.

Anyone who claims such double standards don't exist on here is not paying attention.

[Yupster]

89. I have been reading through thinking

I think DU really is changing.

Not too long ago a thread like this would have been full of blanket condemnations and jokes about men.

Thanks to whoever started this thread. It really is a hopeful sign.

[seabeyond]

93. it is the flavor, one chooses to go. we have the power.... brothah/sistah. nt

[FLPanhandle]

45. Men is too broad

There are a high % of us that not only wouldn't, but wouldn't even think about it.

[Chris_Texas]

77. I disagree.

I think the percentage of me nand women who never cheat is very small, and adding in never even thinking about it loikely drops that into the low single digits.

[FLPanhandle]

113. Maybe my situation and group of friends is unique

Probably a dozen couples all married for over 15 years, no divorces, no affairs (that anyone know about), & marriages still going strong.

I work around attractive women, and, yes, opportunities have popped up, but I'd never seriously consider risking my marriage, my childrens happiness, and my wife's happiness to have an affair. It just wouldn't be worth it, especially the impact on my children.

I can't believe I'm unique or in the "single digits" category. Guys like me just don't make headlines.

[seabeyond]

115. this is what i have to continually do. check RL life with what i read on the net

the people closest to us... parents, inlaws, husbands siblings all have what appear to be strong healthy marriages and no cheating. no sign, no clue, no nada. not in hubby and my realm and no interest in it.

[The Straight Story]

48. I KNOW why women do it, it's the man's fault for not doing x/y/z

Just like if a woman kills her kids - it is somehow the all powerful man who made her do it, because a woman would never just up and do that like a man would.... :)

[WinkyDink]

49. Because they......... You know the rest.

[PassingFair]

50. Stop and think about what you just posted. Unless these men are having sex with other men...

then there are WOMEN involved in their cheating.

Arhnold's "housekeeper" or whatever she was, was
MARRIED when she was serving Arhnold.

There are always TWO tangoing.

[Lorien]

168. Many, many men lie about their status (obviously not in Arnold's case)

I know; I've lost count of the number of married men who have hit on me over the years, and some who I dated briefly before finding out that they were married. One in FOUR married men cheat, and one in TEN married women cheat. And, btw, women outnumber men in America.

[yella_dawg]

205. Boy. That one in ten is one busy girl.

Check your numbers. Sounds like there's an agenda hiding in there somewhere.

[NashVegas]

52. Arrogance

Men are programmed to want to fuck everything they see.

Some learn to keep it where people will be held responsible if someone gets an eye poked out. Some don't.

Except for instances of rape, I do blame those women who won't hold men responsible and who don't behave like they will hold men responsible.

[guruoo]

102. Boredom. nt

[EstimatedProphet]

54. Maybe they do it because you condemn all men.

[The2ndWheel]

56. They want to, and can

Some want to, but can't. Some don't want to, but can. Some don't want to, and wouldn't.

[S_E_Fudd]

58. Yeah...not exclusive to Men...

As I painfully found out...

[Javaman]

61. Why do women do it?

I never cheated, but my ex did.

[david_vincent]

63. Studies show that women

tend to upgrade their partner by trading in one for another who makes more money and carries more social status. Often, cheating is involved as the mechanism for supplanting the current partner with the "upgrade". Of course, they very often discover to their chagrin that high-earning, high-status men are prime targets for lots of other women, so they find themselves eating some of the same meal they cooked up for their ex.

I think that Esther Vilar's books The Manipulated Man and The Polygamous Sex are worth considering. She argues that, very often, men just naturally feel a need for a new partner after a significant period of monogamy, and she argues forcefully that there should be no social stigma attached (let alone criminality) to this end.

Speaking for myself, I have never cheated on anyone I was in a relationship with, whether married or not. On the other hand, like many other men on this thread, I have been cheated on.

"Why do men do it?" Open your eyes and grow a sense of reality. Women do it just as much. Maybe not you or your friends, but lots and lots of other women, whether you happen to know or like them, or not.

[Whisp]

69. because men still hold the majority of positions of power

and notoriety is my guess. So they are more likely to have their names up in lights over this matter.

how many women CEOs/politicians/Presidents, etc are there compared?

and you can bet the few woman that are make damn sure they don't get caught doing anything 'whorish', because that would certainly not be taken as forgivingly and kindly as her male counterpart. After all, guys have feets of clay, only human, blah blah. nudge nudge wink wink.

Can you imagine a reverse of this: for ex: That it was Hillary that was 'caught' the way Bill was. Can you Imagine her going on talk shows and the Boy Hosts do the nudge nudge wink wink and they both giggle about it. welll, you know how it is, what's a guy to do! tee hee.

[montanto]

74. Men means all men. I have't done it. I'm a man.

Failed argument.

[Bluenorthwest]

76. Each of those men had female partners, some more than one.

So I hope you are not offended when I ask you why you Straights do this shit while also rambling on about the 'Sanctity of Marriage' and such. Even the President says straight marriages are 'sanctified by God' and he says they have a 'spiritual element' to their relationships that we lack.
This is an issue of the heterosexual married community. And I ask that community, have you lost your damn minds?

[seabeyond]

81. well, as a part of that heterosexual community i think i can say, MOST all of us here on du

agree with you

[ChoppinBroccoli]

84. The Same Reason Why SOME Men Beat Their Wives

Lack of impulse control. Either that or they're looking for something that they're not getting at home. In the case of famous men, a lot of times it's probably little more than a massive ego coupled with unlimited opportunity.

And by the way, nothing against you, Andi, but those of us out there who have been married for our wives for long periods of time and have never once even THOUGHT of cheating resent being lumped into this group.

Now here's something for you to think about: why do WOMEN cheat? Because we all know they do too.

[seabeyond]

97. i hate... being told i nag, like to shop, need to cuddle, have to be married,

need emotional commitment with sex, and on and on

because i am a woman

i hate.... that

so i hear ya

[karynnj]

86. Clinton's answer might fit most of them, "because he could"

Some like Arnold, Tiger, Clinton, and Gingrich seem to have no impulse control and were in positions of power where they had many opportunities.

I suspect that with Edwards, it was somewhat different. From all accounts he was a golden boy all his life and it seems that his marriage focused mostly on him. In early 2005, it HAD to focus on Elizabeth and her needs. In addition, he went from the very possible future VP to a candidate highly unlikely to beat Clinton for the nomination - and little respected in the Senate. I would guess that Rielle's groupie like view of his importance may have been part of the key - playing to his narcissism.

Eisenhower had the excuse of being away at war.

[Keith Bee]

87. Ever read Genesis?

I'm completely agnostic, but there are some parts of the Bible which serve an instructional purpose, in this case being that we have a lousy record of resisting temptation.

By the way, kudos to your dad for kicking your rapist's ass. I hope the SOB who did it to you went to prison and is now the wife of a 300-pound man named Bubba.

[guruoo]

94. Better to ask: why doesn't everybody do it? nt

[Cleita]

98. Because they can. Because they know their bodies won't

get swollen with pregnancy. They forget their paramour's body can if they don't take contraceptive precautions. Because too much money is still in the hands of men and not women.

Or in the immortal words a man once said to me, "A standing prick has no conscience."

[Snoutport]

99. Why do "SO MANY" men do it... I have never cheated. EVER. not even a little bit.

Not correcting you but I didn't want to be lumped in with a bunch of cheating men.

[lumberjack_jeff]

107. Your better question is "how?" since the chaste and virtuous women would never participate. nt

[seabeyond]

108. ha ha ha ha. that made me laugh. nt

[WatsonT]

111. Good point

clearly he forced or tricked them.

Women will not naturally engage in affairs.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

175. See #174. -nt

[ensho]

119. I think the male ego has something to do with it

way back when I was a teen and in my 20s the big subject in women's magazines was the care and nurturing of men's egos.

not kidding. look up the old mag. articles.

plus religious tracts promote male egos.

plus marriage is a religious construct. which is tangled up with male ego.

[seabeyond]

122. another of my pet peeves, coddle the male ego and fuck, the woman isnt even allowed ego. nt

[begin_within]

120. Because they are able to locate willing partners who are happy to cooperate with them in it.

You can't cheat on your partner alone. These men couldn't have cheated on their partner or spouse without first finding someone who was willing to disrepect the marriage or relationship and cheat with him anyway. The man is to blame, but the willing partner certainly enabled it and in fact made the cheating possible. So there are 2 guilty parties, not just the man who cheated on his spouse.

[Marr]

121. My mom did it. My ex-girlfriend did it.

Women do it, too. In my experience, which seems to contrary to the popular view of infidelity, they seem to do it at the same rates, if not more.

You're citing a lot of powerful and/or famous men, and that's a whole other kettle of fish, IMHO. Those things are strong aphrodisiacs for many people.

[Lorien]

163. One in four men cheat, one in ten women cheat. It IS unequal.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17951664/ns/health-sexual_health/t/many-cheat-thrill-more-stay-true-love/

[seabeyond]

183. i have read over 17% of women (and they lie and hide better) and 21% men

though not equal, women are certainly gaining and not too far off.

[jcboon]

126. Lack of character--men and women

"Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above."
--"The African Queen"

[Township75]

128. How about why don't women do it? The answer is that young men...

aren't interested in old women. But, young women are interested in older men. That is why it works for men but not women.

Men just want sex with someone hot, and that usually means not old nor married. For women, the are attracted to men in power and with $$...therefore the opportunities are there.

[Zorra]

129. Could it be...

satan?


Or repressed sexuality stemming from cultural attitudes toward sex and honesty that are based on the judeo-christian tradition?
:shrug:
Dunno. And of course, it's not just men that do it.

[Keith Bee]

190. Yes! The Devil made my peepee stand up! Not my fault!

:rofl:

[Fire1]

130. And an increasing number of women are doing it and have

done it. The trick is the women don't get caught!

[jp11]

142. Why do women do it?

People get bored, want someone new, to treat them better than they are being treated, to make them feel special and desired, appreciated, wanted. People look to trade up for a bigger better deal, better looking, younger, richer, more successful, etc. Having obtained a mate there may be a desire to attain another or to balance the 'shortcomings' of one mate with another.

You want answers ask people who cheat but don't stop with just men, ask all cheaters.

[Keith Bee]

146. I can't see beyond the protests

Too much.

[TroglodyteScholar]

149. I'm guessing they have the same reasons that women have when they do it.

Biased much?

[Bake]

152. Just men? Wow. Then who are they doing it with?

I always heard that "it takes two to tango."

Bake

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

174. Surely, they must all be gay.

Otherwise, the Axiom of Woman's Intrinsic & Undeniable Moral Superiority would be undermined by the logical inevitability of their participation, and we can't have that.

[Bake]

188. Indeed. And well put.

I salute you!

Bake

[Spike89]

154. Aside from the obvious (not all men do) ...

there is the perhaps equally obvious fact that many women do too. And, seriously, there are many forms of betrayal and cruelty between adults. It may be that men are indeed bigger jerks than women, but that certainly isn't a given. It may be that women are more likely than men to withhold sex from their partner as a form of "punishment".

I'm never going to defend a guy that cheats, but it isn't honest to say all men cheat or that no women cheat or even that in some cases it isn't as clear cut as it may seem.

[Shandris]

157. My father is on his sixth marriage. He cheated once, then proceeded...

...to get cheated on by his next four wives. He's finally gotten a good one, and celebrated his tenth anniversary. I'm very proud of them both...for what is arguably the first time in my adult life.

My dad has taken to passing a lot of little...'quips', I guess...to me about life, and more than most I've picked up on them. One he told me about 5 years into his current, good marriage is this:

"Just remember...any person who will cheat once will do it again. It doesn't matter if it's a woman with a married man, or a man with a married woman. It applies to both."

What he meant of course, is that even if the cheater divorces his current wife and marries the next one, the damage is already done; the new woman knows that he's a cheater by definition. It's a sure poison. And he already knows that she has no problem sleeping with another woman's husband. Knowing this, there will always be an implicit level of trust that they can't go beyond, and that level of trust is needed to make the marriage really work. Hence...75% divorce rate or whatever it is now.

[seabeyond]

185. firstly... i giggled... SIX. lol.

since your father did it the first time per his saying, how did he stop himself the rest of the time, seems to prove himself wrong.

also, i agree. i dont get why anyone would marry a cheater casue they have gone over the line that first time which is the hardest to do. after that, it is easier and easier

and, the recent study on marriage, which should make you feel better

first marriage 41% divorce. break that down, the younger and uneducated the rate is much higher. older and educated divorce 11%, recently dropping from 15%

second marriage 68& divorce
third marriage 73% divorce

[Lorien]

159. It's their nature. Not all men-or women-have the "monogamy gene":

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14641-monogamy-gene-found-in-people.html

[mochajava666]

161. Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

Human nature. You can't separate the human from the nature.

[MicaelS]

162. A sense of entitlement..

Some men feel / believe they are entitled to sex anytime they want it, with any attractive woman they see. Because they are wealthy, famous or powerful and seldom hear the word "no" from anyone.

Now having said that, people seldom know what occurs in the sexual relationship of married couples. If a woman flat refuses to have sex of any kind, or refuses to engage in a particular sex act that the man wants, many men feel that is a perfectly legitimate reason to cheat.

To quote Xaveria Hollander "The Happy Hooker"... "If more women got down on their knees (and performed fellatio on their husbands), my business would be greatly reduced."

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

164. All human beings are wired to do bad shit.

Those who have more opportunities, do it more. Women aren't morally superior to men any more than white men are morally superior to black men.

[Lorien]

171. So the fact that one in four men cheat while only one in ten women cheat makes women

"just as bad", right?

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

172. Why, yes, in fact, that's exactly the case.

For the same reason that a lower percentage of white people committing robbery doesn't make white people better.

[blondeatlast]

176. Rich people commit less armed robbery than poor people--

but does that mean they are more moral than poor people?

I don't see morality as being consistent with statistics. Moral/immoral behavior maybe can be broken down into statistics, but it doesn't prove a goddamned thing to do so.

[yella_dawg]

206. One in ten?

Yet DNA analysis finds that 30% of babies born don't match with the father listed on the birth certificate. Weird.

[Name removed]

169. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[DevonRex]

177. Most men don't. Nt

[Xithras]

181. There are as many reasons as there are cheaters.

I've known many men who cheated. Quite a few women too.

Some are looking to recapture their youth. Some aren't getting enough sex from their partners. Some can't stand to have sex with their partners any more. Some are just bored. Some get drunk and cave to lowered inhibitions. Some fall in love with new people. Some are compensating for personality problems. And on. And on.

Women are just as bad. Lots of studies indicate that women actually cheat nearly as often as men, but they simply lie about it better, even in anonymous polls. This is usually because modern women have more to lose. My wifes best friend recently got caught after having a four year relationship with a co-worker. Her excuse? Her stay-at-home dad husband was "too domestic". The hot muscular stud who rides his bike 10+ miles a day was just "hotter", and better in bed. There was nothing more to it than that.

Way back when I got married, my wife and I made a simple pact with each other...we don't demand fidelity, but we do demand honesty. We can deal with it if she or I screws around, but we demand that the other person be honest and open about it. Sex happens, but lying is inexcusable.

[blondeatlast]

184. "They fear death." Movie quote, but there's truth in it...

From "Moonstruck", 1987:

Rose: Why do men chase women?
Johnny: Well, there's a Bible story... God... God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Now maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When God took the rib, he left a big hole there, where there used to be something. And the women have that. Now maybe, just maybe, a man isn't complete as a man without a woman.
Rose: But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don't know. Maybe because he fears death.

Rose: That's it! That's the reason!
Johnny: I don't know...
Rose: No! That's it! Thank you! Thank you for answering my question!

[slutticus]

186. 'cause we're horny

and we really can't help ourselves. You shouldn't take it personally.

[LadyHawkAZ]

187. Steak is delicious

however, if I had to eat nothing but steak all day, every day, at some point I would be calling out for pizza.

[Keith Bee]

193. "It's not a tumor!"

"It's just tumid." :rofl:

[yella_dawg]

194. All men are worthless scumbag bastards.

I thought you knew.

Obviously, they all know the same three women, since women would never do such a thing.

People act like people because it's human nature, if you need a simple answer to explain an incredibly complex situation.

[Keith Bee]

199. You say that like it's a BAD thing

:(

[seabeyond]

200. a person can tell

the divorced man. it is like he is trying to shake off the years of (dare i say it) "domestication", lol

over the last couple months you have set a pattern. but cute....

[DuaneBidoux]

196. Stats you that the gender percentage is roughly equal although usually for different reasons.

Women tend (and notice I say tend) to do it when they are unhappy or in an abusive relationship--or simply in a relationship where their needs are ignored.

When you are a powerful ambitious man it is a little more complicated. Research shows that powerful men often seek conquest of whatever they can conquer (testosterone?). This is coupled with the fact that women frequently are very attracted to powerful men which means that susceptible men are more often approached by women making for a potentially difficult to resist situation.

This is a vast oversimplification of a complex subject but psychological research shows that this is a pretty good outline of a theory of infidelity that explains a lot (but by no means all) of this phenomena.

My father, who was neither rich nor powerful (although by most women's accounts good looking) had two affairs on my mom. It turns out that both women actively pursued him in a sexual way. After my mom found out about the first affair she had her own (revenge? who knows). But it certainly was the beginning of the unraveling of the marriage. Or perhaps these were symptoms of a marriage unraveling long before the infidelities.

[krabigirl]

202. why do PEOPLE do it? FTFY.

[I owe]

203. Homo sapiens is an animal species

Don't listen to the Bible-thumpers: We are a species of ape.

[JI7]

204. maybe it's the "guys will be guys" attitude while Women who do it are treated worse

and how often rather than blaming the guy who cheats a lot of times more blame and attacks are on the women he cheated on his wife with.