Fox News Estimates Jon Stewart’s Crowd at Seven People

[uppityperson]

The Fox News Channel reported today that the turnout for Jon Stewart’s “Rally to Restore Sanity” was underwhelming at best, with Fox sources estimating the total turnout at seven people. “Our total count includes Stewart, Colbert, and what appear to be a few of their friends and relatives,” said Fox anchor Shepard Smith. “This has to be a smaller crowd than they were expecting.”

But immediately after Fox broadcast what it described as “live coverage” of the rally showing a nearly-deserted National Mall, viewers began to point out irregularities in the images being shown.

First of all, one viewer noticed that the live coverage of the rally was actually being broadcast a full twelve hours before the rally began. Second, an expert identified the supposedly “live footage” of today’s rally as file footage from a Sunday in 1997 when the Mall was completely shut down for reseeding.

Even in the face of such evidence, Fox stood by its story, with Fox host Glenn Beck pointing out that the seven people in attendance were “largely elitists.” “I was struck by how many correctly spelled signs there were,” Mr. Beck said. “That’s not my America.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

[Suich]

1. You know this is satire, don't you? n/t

[uppityperson]

5. That I do. Thanks for checking. eom

[Suich]

11. Hey! How are you doing, uppityperson?

Is it stormy at your place? Saw on the news something big is headed my way.

:hi:

[uppityperson]

13. Sunny day then clouds and windy.

Looks like something is coming through now through later tonight. I am SO looking forward to summer!

[blondeatlast]

10. Um,

wow.

[AlabamaLibrul]

2. LOL

And the Adwords ad I got at the top of this page?

Glenn Beck
3+ years of back taxes? No problem. Immediate and permanent tax relief.

Website left out to protect the guilty.

[etherealtruth]

3. very funny

Only a slight exageration of FOX's "reporting"

[BrklynLiberal]

4. Well..that sure is what they were hoping it would be. Must be a major disappointment on their part.

lol

Borowitz is a riot!

[sally cat]

6. That's hilarious! Thank you.

[EFerrari]

7. I lurve Borowitz!

:rofl:

[randr]

8. Fair and Balanced and now

Accurate!
There ought to be a law against poor journalism.

[Initech]

9. Wasn't there a Free Republic rally a few years back that had like 14 people show up?

[Skittles]

12. yes

there were, er, gung ho for war with Iraq

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:umF6XMXxVrxScM:&t=1