Pat Robertson’s advice to woman whose husband flirts: Make yourself more attractive

[a kennedy]

and don't hassle him. WTF??? :grr:

Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson frequently stresses the importance of monogamous heterosexual relationships and is happy to offer his viewers advice on how to maintain them. As Media Matters documents, Robertson fielded a question on yesterday’s edition of the 700 Club from a woman who was concerned that her husband frequently flirts with “other women he finds attractive.” Naturally, Robertson blamed the wife, advising her to “make yourself as attractive as possible,” and to not “hassle him about it,” lest she “drive him away”:

CO-HOST: Pat, this is from Anne who says, “My husband has always been a flirt and loves to talk with other women he finds attractive. He says he would never cheat on me but his actions are starting to get to me. What should I do?”

ROBERTSON: Anne, first thing is you need to make yourself as attractive as possible and don’t hassle him about it. And why is he doing this? Well, he’s doing it because he wants affirmation that he is still a man, that he is attractive — and he gets an affirmation of himself. That means he’s got an inferiority complex that’s coming out. And he’s not gonna cheat on you. He’s just playing.

But you need to not drive him away or start hassling and hounding on him, but make yourself as beautiful as you can, as fun as you can, and say let’s go out here, let’s go there, let’s go to the other thing.

article and video: http://thinkprogress.org/2010/06/11/robertson-advice-wife/

[iamjoy]

1. Fascinating Womanhood

GET YOUR WORK DONE
Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.

HAVE DINNER READY
Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

PREPARE YOURSELF
Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dustcloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned for this homecoming.

PREPARE THE CHILDREN
Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.

MINIMIZE ALL NOISE
Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.

BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM
Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.

SOME DON'TS

* Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening.
* Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through that day.
* Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.

MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE
Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.

LISTEN TO HIM
You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive listener later.

MAKE THE EVENING HIS
Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.

THE GOAL
Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband will want to come home. He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation.

[LiberalLoner]

4. I know everyone will throw rocks at me for admitting this, but...

I actually do quite a few of these types of things as a housewife. I love keeping my home clean and neat, and I love cooking a good meal for my husband. I give him a big hug and kiss when he walks in and tell him I'm glad he's home and that I love him. I try to make the evening pleasant for my husband. I'm careful about my appearance so I automatically have makeup on and try to look good when he comes home.

My biggest goal is to be content and happy, and to make him content and happy, too.

I know it's lame to be just a housewife, but after years in the workplace - including some demanding assignments as an Army officer - I am thrilled to be able to stay at home, especially since I have some chronic health problems that don't allow me to be 100%.

Okay, throw rocks now....

[seabeyond]

5. yes, i welcome hubby home, too. let him know i am glad to see him

i want home to be a peaceful, safe place for all four of us. that is my biggest gift to my family. i am included in that, too.

he also does the same with me when i walk into the house. or am just away from him in different parts of the house for an extended period.

[rurallib]

6. The point is you want to do it and you are an equal partner in the marriage

uncle chuckles comes from the 'woman is man's servant and inferior' crowd.

[happy_liberal]

8. My biggest goal is to be content and happy, and to make him content and happy, too.

Personally, I think this is the most important goal in the world....and healthy!

The people that strive for money usually just end up wishing they were happy, because money can't buy it, and two adults working outside of the home when we all know there is so much to do at home as well, is the path of stress that leads to divorce and illness.

With today's FDA, I find it a full time job to keep my family healthy. Since I trust no processed foods and in order to save the money I would be making if I had a job, I make everything from scratch including the basics, bread, (soy)milk, eggs(raising chickens), veggies, all sauces etc. which takes quite a but of time let me tell you but saves $$100s every week AND saves $$ on health care because the key to health care is prevention. Avoiding high fructose corn syrup and GM foods are job #1 for me.

I value what I do and my husband values what I do. I also appreciate my husband so I do many of these things Robertson suggests because it is common sense...if I were tired from working all day, what would I need to recharge? We have a partnership and we are both very happy with it.

You are not lame. You are smart! The woman's movement has led everyone astray and is now making women feel bad about themselves. The idea was that we should be appreciated for what we already did! Women were already doing so much, how did the women's movement help? Now(with the economy) we are expected to work 40 hours a week AND do everything we were already doing, AND take the kids to 10+ activites every week while looking like a MILF all the time too.

Pat Robertson is a moron but couples(BOTH partners) can and should do more to nurture their relationships. In today's TV culture they seem to be on a quest to kill love and kindness and replace it with sex and greed. The future generations are watching this crap and now think that if someone looks good you should 'do' them...from age 12 and on. We have young girls thinking(recent article) 'well he looked good so I was going to sleep with him anyway, so why not take $50 for the blowjob so I can buy some new jeans". What is this going to do to the future of loving relationships...we shall see....


no rocks liberalloner, thanks for your courage. Keep on keeping on...

[AnArmyVeteran]

11. I will not throw a rock at you! I'm throwing nerf balls at you like crazy though!

How dare you succumb to Pat Robertson's demands!

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

(I admire you for what you do)

[LiberalLoner]

17. Thanks, everyone! It was kind of hard to accept the role of housewife and

I'm still kind of ashamed to admit I am one, because of how I was caught up in the whole 1970's thing of, "smart women live a man's life." I looked around at how badly women seemed to be treated by men - at least what I saw up close, it seemed that way, because my father was an abusive jerk. I decided I didn't want any part of that kind of life, being treated badly by a man and living in fear.

So I decided to live like a man, joining the Army, being promiscuous just like I figured men were, and refusing to learn most of the skills I saw as feminine - cooking, keeping a house clean, etc.

But I was always exhausted. I was coming home later than my husband, and he would be at the house, tired himself and cranky and hungry and not happy dinner wasn't ready. Because we both grew up with the expectation that a woman would be there in the home to do all those things. And I found that I couldn't easily shake that notion either, that it was kind of imprinted on me.

Then I started thinking about how those things I once thought of as worthless because women did them, really were some of the most important tasks in life, and certainly tasks that made life a lot better - kinder and gentler I guess.

I came to see that there was some real value and worth in "women's work." And I take real pride in my own heart, when I feel I've done a good job.

But I still have battling expectations inside of me - women's lib versus how I was raised as a small girl, when my mother thought I would grow up to be a wife and mother and housewife, and tried to prepare me for that role.

There have been so many changes in our society, and really big, deep changes. I'm glad both men and women seem to have more choices in some ways, and some issues like rape in marriage, etc. have come to light, but I think all these changes and role confusion have taken a toll on all of us.

As a woman it's been really hard in my life trying to figure out what society expected me to be. I have to agree with the astute post above that talked about how a woman is supposed to do it all and be it all and the pressure and expectations are relentless and cruel...

At some point I decided, being a woman means you always feel ashamed, never good enough, and guilty. I really want to shake off all those harmful expectations and just enjoy my life at home - it's such a good life, and my husband is thrilled that I stay at home and he has a nice dinner to come home to each night - but I can't seem to. I try, I really do, but tehre is always this voice telling me I should be thinner, shouldn't look so old, should have a career and make big bucks plus be a gourmet cook plus be well-read...etc. etc.

I'm so tired of the greed, the competitiveness, the expectations. Maybe it's just as hard on men. Probably is.

We had a friend over last summer, and I made us a dinner and we played cards. Just played cards. Nothing sophisticated...we just sat around and had a beer and yakked like I saw my parents and grandparents do when they got together. And it was such a wonderful, relaxing time. Our friend remarked that he hadn't felt so relaxed and happy in a very long time.

I'm yearning to buck all the expectations and just enjoy the simple things again. I'm thinking, maybe "good enough" really is good enough. Maybe we don't all have to be like the commercials show, or keep up with the Jones, or always push ourselves so hard every minute of the day and night.

I've given up the competition. Anyone else want to say the heck with unrealistic standards and pressures too?

[seabeyond]

19. first two paragraphs, .... me. after that we go our separate ways

my husband cooked. he is a good cook. he never felt my job to feed him and certainly not if i was at work coming home later. so that is nowhere close. the other stuff, i was right there with you, until

i had my first baby. no way was i going to be a stay at home mom, for the same reasons you state. but

as soon as i brought the baby home, there was no way anyone else was going to raise him. so i had to adjust.

after over 15 yrs raising my boys and staying home i will say... i see all the choices i have made that has enhanced all four of our lives and i can live with that. i can feel the accomplishment in that.

i didn't get married until 32. i took care of myself. i bought my home, bought my stuff, bought my car and was successful at work.

i dont need validation for my worth

this is another job and i do a damn good job creating a healthy environment and dont kill myself with perfection, lol. so i cant say i am kick ass at the cleaning ect... it is what it is. enough.

but i refused to be superwoman, especially since i didn't have to. and my hubby doesn't have to take on more work, once he leaves the office. we both get our down time.

[AnArmyVeteran]

20. I admire what you have done and the kind of person you are.

lul

[iamjoy]

16. It's The Tone

If a woman does not work outside the home (or a man for that matter) that person's contribution to the family is maintaining a peaceful, well-run household. that contribution should be just as valuable as the one that brings in money.

No, what I object to is the tone. That a housewife can never have a bad day because the pressures of running a house are easy compared to the business world. Dealing with a baby that has colic and diaper rash is tougher than many days at the office as my co-workers with infants will attest (the office is relatively peaceful). I also resent the implication that if the husband strays it is the woman's fault for not being a good enough wife.

[LibertyLover]

15. Hmm, I'm the sole bread winner in our family -

my husband stays home and takes care of the house and the kid. I wish to heaven I could get him to do some of those things. When I first walk in the damned door, for the love of all the Gods don't start telling me what a bad girl our daughter has been. Could I put my briefcase down first? Don't rush dinner at me. Many times I walk in the door and he is dishing it out and gets upset if I so much as go to wash my hands or get myself something to drink. Don't start bitching at me over dinner about the fact that you have no money to do anything. I'm not the one who decided to quit working shortly after we got married "to see if you could handle staying home with the kid", and now can't find anything because of the recession. If I've had a bad day at work I want to talk about it; same thing if I've had a good day. Don't tell me that I 'should leave work at work and not bring it home'. And if work calls to ask me a question, don't go off in a snit for an hour because for a minute or two I wasn't able to hang on your every word about the two movies you watched during the day. What I do pays the bills and keeps the cable turned on so you can watch the damned movies.

[seabeyond]

2. "he’s got an inferiority complex" he has a problem so coddle and protect and suck it up.

it doesnt matter how beautiful she is, his problem doesnt go away because it has NOTHING to do with her, and all to do with him. but, we ignore him

[Ian David]

3. My advice would have been to invite the other woman for dinner at T.G.I. Friday's...

... and then hit her up for a threesome.

If the husband is flirting with other women in front of his wife, that's probably what he REALLY wants anyway.


(for those who don't get the reference to T.G.I. Friday's.... http://wonkette.com/368638/mcgreeveys-gruesome-threesome-began-at-tgi-fridays/ )


Anyway, this is Evil Uncle Chuckles and his wife Dede... I bet Pat flirts with other women ALOT:

[seabeyond]

7. as long as next time she gets to bring in another man for him to be locking lips with....

and more.

[Ian David]

10. Sure, why not! n/t

[AnArmyVeteran]

12. LOL! This is starting to look like a thread for conservative, family values republican. :)

[seabeyond]

14. hm.... so you are all for the threesome suckin on a mans face and more for HER

fantasy?

[AnArmyVeteran]

21. No, reread my post. I didn't say that at all.

All the best...

[seabeyond]

22. then i guess i dont know why you are saying it is about family value conservatives.... nt

[AnArmyVeteran]

23. Well considering the blatant hypocrisy of right wingers...

it's very reasonable and factual to catagorize them in the way I did. Conservative extremists are the world's biggest hypocrites. They 'claim' to be family values, Christian, and the party of god but act the exact opposite of ALL of Jesus' teachings. If Jesus returned they would call him a communist, socialist, Maoist and all the other 'ists' out there and then they would condemn him for palling around with terrorists, prostitutes, murderers, thieves and homeless people and then they would nail him to the cross again. And if by chance someone pulled Jesus off the cross before he died conservatives would just stand there and condemn him for not having health insurance and let him die, because they believe the poor are deadbeats. So they would treat Jesus like a 'deadbeat' too and smile as he took his last breath. Conservative extremists are not just ignorant and illiterate, they are also evil because they worship money and those who are the wealtiest. They believe capitalism is their god and CEOs are their disciples.

NO ONE can be a conservative and a Christian at the same time. They are exact opposites of each other.

I hope I answered your questions...

[Ezlivin]

9. Women: Get your beauty tips from the godly Jan Crouch

Stunning! She's kept her man through her extreme beauty regime!

[LiberalLoner]

18. Actually I think the pink hair is kind of edgy and cool...n/t

[Johonny]

13. I try to be as attractive as Pat Robertson