Texas has declared that apples are no longer allowed in schools!!

[Angry Dragon]

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas has decreed that apples are no longer allowed on school campuses in Texas.
He stated that apples are the source of the downward spiral of mankind.
To stifle any criticism of this executive order he showed where he found in the Bible where Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, found themselves homeless, and stated "We just can not have any of this knowledge stuff interfering with the education of our youth."

He also went on to state that as long as the Textbook Review Committee has finally fixed the errors in the previous books it just would not make any sense to take the chance that apples would let in any more knowledge.

UPDATE!!....UPDATE!!

It has been recently reported that many Texans are upset with this ruling because they were hoping that the use of apples would solve any health care concerns. They stated that if they can not eat an apple a-day how are they going to keep the doctor away??

[sakabatou]

1. So I can't bring my Macbook to school there?

:P

[Angry Dragon]

6. No apples allowed

or risk deportation to Washington state where apples are allowed.

He is also considering prohibiting all import of apples, worried about anyone getting knowledge in His state. One never knows where knowledge would lead.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Is this for real?

Omigod. The stupid, it BURNS.

:wtf:

[blogslut]

4. The OP is having a laugh

The bit is almost believable because Goodhair is, in actuality, a simple, silly man.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. Thanks!

Sometimes I just don't get it!

:blush:

[jobycom]

11. Goodhair is anything but simple or silly.

He's exceptionally shrewd and very crafty, and has no ideology whatsoever, and that makes him not only dangerous, but constantly underestimated by those who don't see it. There's a reason he wins elections with a 33% approval rating.

[blogslut]

13. I disagree

I think you're confusing ruthless opportunism with intelligence. I'll grant you, the people behind Perry know how to present him so that he appears manly and forthright but when he opens his mouth, the illusion is destroyed.

Why do you think he's been so enthusiastic to adopt the bagger philosophy? He knows he won the last election by the seat of his pants and that the people of Texas are tired of him. He's taken up the mantle of the tea people because it's the only demographic too clueless to realize that his time is done. His secessionist talk will be his downfall because if there's one thing Texans hate, it's being portrayed as stereotypical racist hicks. Clayton Williams made the same fatal mistake - he shoved his pointy boot into his mouth too many times.

Rick Perry is through. He's coyote meat. Bill White will be our next governor and you can bookmark this thread to laugh at me if I'm wrong.

[jobycom]

3. And what two colors are apples likely to be?

Red, which equals communism, and Green, which equals environmental science and all that nonsense. You are not fooling Governor Pomade.

[Art_from_Ark]

7. But there are also some apples that are yellow

the color of chickenhawks

[jobycom]

10. The Hair is watching you.

You may go far.

[MajorChode]

5. There's always plenty of the vegetable, ketchup

So no worries.

[woo me with science]

8. I thought this was going to be an allergy thread. nt

[Loudmxr]

12. I thought Republicans brought a chicken a day for the doctor instead of pay.

[Angry Dragon]

14. ..........