Dear Lurking Tea Party Patriots: How to Travel to The Perfect Tea Party Paradise

[jmowreader]

From what I understand, the perfect tea party paradise is a land where the evil government will never bother you. Where you can have any gun you want without fear of having it grabbed by Constitution-hating Democrats. The freedom to worship as you see fit without any intrusion by the Democrats, and total freedom from paying taxes instead of spending, saving and investing as you choose.

There's only one city like that anywhere--Mogadishu, the capital of Somalia. Okay, the socialist governments of the world have rated Mogadishu as the most lawless city in the Universe. There is a planet out there somewhere with little green men walking around on it, and Mogadishu is more lawless than their worst place. But that's okay, there are plenty of people ready to hire as your own private security force. And they don't speak English in Somalia. Before you go you might want to learn a few phrases. Right now the most important ones are "don't kill me" and "do you have any khat?"

So if you're totally committed to living in tea party paradise-or your doctor said yes when you asked him if Thorazine was right for you--here's how to get there.

First, fly from John F. Kennedy International Airport to Dubai. I realize flying from an airport named after a Democrat is an abomination to you, but the other airport in NYC is named after someone who liked FDR so I guess you're screwed. Besides, you won't be back so stop your whining. The cheapest flight to Dubai is on Aeroflot. Don't worry, they quit putting cast iron plumbing in Russian planes so you're safe.

Once in Dubai, catch Jubba Airways to Mogadishu. Be prepared to wait in Dubai: Jubba has one airplane, it only goes to Mogadishu once a week, and sometimes the runway in Mogadishu is being shelled by the Ethiopian Army and they have to fix the holes. They haven't had any accidents yet, so I wouldn't worry too much. You might want to know, though, the plane they use is the Ilyushin-18, which really WAS made by communists. Four props, the airport's a hot LZ, traditional Somali meals...how can you go wrong?

[Newest Reality]

1. It is good to see ...

extrapolations on the Tea Party frame of thought. The implications and outcomes are important to consider and contrast the current political needs and realities of The People to a point that they appear to be contradictory.

Thanks for your comparisons and insights. I hope to see more from members.

[Arugula Latte]

2. Good travel tips for our Bagger friends.

Buh bye, ya'll! Enjoy the libertarian utopia of Somalia! :hi:

[sui generis]

3. that's the thing about fleabaggers

They really DON'T have a sense of national community, and ironically claim to be patriots.

These people are a bunch of petty dictators looking for a small country to rule. They chafe under the laws of the lands they live in, they tend to believe that religious freedom should trump every other human and civil right (that's one of their pet freedoms that they feel are being trampled), and they want to control where every penny of their taxes AND your taxes go to.

They really are mostly backwater rubes, regardless of their FOX-abetted propaganda campaign to the contrary, and they want the same thing for America that the Taliban wanted for Afghanistan, and that any rural conservative backwater group has ever wanted for their countries:

Get rid of the educated liberals, forcibly redistribute wealth and governing power, and enforce all of it with the threat of violence and intimidation. Just as in every conservative rube takeover, the old "liberal" culture is destroyed, innovation grinds to a halt, and all of this as part of a growing civil war that pits urban areas against rural areas and family against family.

They're disgusting, and like almost all conservatives have no real sense of history or of consequence. In my life I am not required to recognize their validity or to tolerate them, so I certainly won't do that here.