The Republican Glossary of Sure-Fixes & Happy Living.. American Style

[SoCalDem]

Chapter 1:

...................tax cuts

(but only for the hard-working , "real" Americans, who love God and who listen to Rush & follow the republican way...especially for the employers who "provide" all those wonderful jobs..even though those wages no longer provide much of a living for many republicans..but hey.. someday THEY will own those companies & will need those tax cuts )



Chapter 2:

...................working/buying across state lines

(even though most republicans wallow in "state's-rights" and "sovereignty", and would never in a million years want their state to "copy" some "librul" state's ideas or policies)



Chapter 3:

....................tort reform

(even though most republicans wouldn't know the difference between a tart, a torte, a tortilla, a tort, or perhaps even a tortoise)



Chapter 4:

.....................Pro life

(even though, once born, "a person" is no longer of much concern, and is now expected to exercise personal responsibility for all aspects of their life...except for the part about whom to love, or what books to read, or what curriculum to follow in school, or to want to have control over their own reproduction, or how to eat & put a roof overhead if they happen to be born into a poor family..)



Chapter 5:

.....................Up or Down Vote

(only applies when republicans are in control, and want to move legislation along, against the wishes of a minority democratic party that only threatens to block it ...they rarely , if ever follow through)



Chapter 6:

......................Market-based solutions

(as long as Wall Street stuffs candidate's pockets with campaign cash, this is the best way to run things.. The Market always self-corrects.. usually right after large infusions of taxpayer money)



Chapter 7:

.......................So called Global Warming

(everyone knows it's been snowing a LOT lately, so Al Gore was wrong, and Rush Limbaugh was right..and who cares about Greenland & their ice sheet anyway.. and some of those acrtic animals are too fat anyway.. they could stand to drop a few pounds, so less food for them is a good thing... really ..it is)



Chapter 8:

..........................War on Terror

(except for the part where bullets do not change any minds, except for the ones that existed inside the craniums penetrated by said bullets...and the fact that ideology trumps bullets, and the fact that terror is a tactic, not a nation, and that terror is used worldwide in every conflict.. republican radical religious zealots terrorize young gay people every day...some parents terrorize their own children every day, somewhere... some bosses terrorize their employees, former lovers have been known to terrorize .. it's something to be studied and to try to stop others from committing, but bullets do not stop it.)



Chapter 9:

..........................Christian Nation

(except for the part where not everyone IS Christian, and the fact that our framers deliberately tried to keep religion OUT of politics)


Chapter 10:

...........................Family Values

(except for the republican politicians who frequent prostitutes because their wives would draw the line at changing their dirty diapers, or who have mistresses in Argentina, or who try to choke their wives, or who have affairs with their friend/advisor's wife and then have their parents try to pay them off..y'know stuff like that)



feel free to add your own chapters:)