Do you feel a moral obligation to adopt or be a biological parent of at least one child?

[Boojatta]

[NMDemDist2]

1. no n/t

[catmandu57]

2. No, no I don't

I could never be a parent and I know it.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

3. no moral obligation...but we definitely wanted children...

more of a biological drive, i suppose. the whole, "be fruitful in multiply" bit was not what drove us...

sP

[Dhalgren]

4. No.

[smokey nj]

5. No.

[Cobalt Violet]

6. No way. n/t

[Robeson]

7. No.

[kestrel91316]

8. No.

I considered adoption at one point, but as a busy self-employed single professional I realized it was probably not a good idea.

The only folks with an OBLIGATION to adopt are the freaks who would force women to bear children against their wishes, IMHO.

[YOY]

9. No moral obligation, but I'm glad our daughter is in our life

n/t

[DURHAM D]

10. No - but I do feel a moral obligation to pay enough taxes

(particularly property taxes)to support good public education for all children.

[fidgeting wildly]

18. Same.

I have always known that I would not have children. I used to tell my mom when I was 5 years old that I didn't want any babies. But I do think that I have a moral obligation to support public education and other social programs, and I am happy to do so.

[Critters2]

21. Me too. nt

[Boojatta]

74. Do you feel a moral obligation to rent or own property for which

the property tax bill is greater than or equal to the median amount of property taxes for property in your state?

[myrna minx]

11. No. n/t

[trackfan]

12. No

[11 Bravo]

13. No, but I can't imagine life without the two we have.

[bowens43]

14. No, although I have fathered and raised three....

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

15. "Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head."

Don't remember who said it, but I took it to heart.

[peacebird]

16. no

[Arkansas Granny]

17. No. I wanted children, but I didn't feel it was a moral obligation.

[wavesofeuphoria]

19. to adopt .. yes

[liberal N proud]

20. Obligation did not drive us to have children

[eShirl]

22. no, just the opposite with what's about to happen to the planet . n/t

[Critters2]

23. Agree. I used to feel really bad about not having kids.

But more and more, I think it's a good thing. Still looking into adopting a child already here, and I sponsor a child in Mexico. So I want to help care for kids in need. But no need to create more.

[Clark2008]

32. I can understand that attitude with biological children, but

with what's about th happen to the planet, shouldn't we all be considering adopting children who are already here instead of bringing more in? (and, yes, I'm 8 months pregnant, but my husband and I didn't "plan" her, per se).

[Lobster Martini]

24. What they said...no.

N/T

[Dorian Gray]

25. Moral obligation?

No. Desire? Yes. I would like to be a parent.

[fasttense]

26. Never felt it was a moral obligation to have a child, more like a luxury. n/t

[Dora]

27. Yes and no.

We have one child (b. 2002), and he will be our only biological child. We are open to adopting a child or children in need in the future, when we have the means to support a larger family. Right now, one is enough.

When I was younger and realized that I wanted to have a child some day, it was because I wanted to experience the fullness of my body and my abilities.

As I grew older and learned the depravity that the Bush admin had wreaked upon us all, I knew that having a child and raising him in our values and belief system, and encouraging leadership and acting on behalf of social justice, was the best way we had of influencing the future.

Heck. We might even homeschool.

[Madspirit]

28. Huh?! Ummm...NO!...n/t

[Madspirit]

34. Clarifying

I, as I said, feel no obligation to parent a child. I do, however, feel that ALL Adults on the Earth ARE obligated to protect ALL children.

Lee

[Boojatta]

39. Yet, an adult doesn't even have the right to speak to a child unless

the child's parents consent to the communication. It's difficult to protect someone if you cannot even ask a casual question to understand what's happening. Perhaps one can ask a question without violating criminal law, but the parent can forbid the child to answer and can force the child to walk away with the parent.

[Madspirit]

45. ?

If you suspect abuse, go to Child and Family Services, the police, etc.
Lee

[Boojatta]

46. I don't get address or identification information from people I encounter

in elevators, in transit, etc.

[Madspirit]

50. True...

...but you are convoluting the matter. I don't just run into 120 obviously abused children on elevators every day. ...and if the abuse was straight up and obvious, I would grab a cop right then, follow them, say something...whatever.

I tend to volunteer at The Battered Women Center...a lot of kids there, rather than spying on elevators... ...and as I said, IF I did run into straight-up abuse somewhere, I would intervene...whatever it took.
Lee

[Matsubara]

No. I have two kids because I wanted kids.

There is nothing moral or immoral about choosing to have or not have kids.

(although, in the strictest sense, not having kids is probably more moral since there will be fewer people straining Earth's limited resources, but then again, the rethugs are outbreeding us, so we need some representation in the new generation...)

[Bucky]

29. Now that I have one, yeh, I kinda feel an obligation to parent her.

Please note that "being a biological father" in the full sense of the biological function of human beings does not mean deposit the sperm and flee.

[Boojatta]

40. How about sperm banks? Do those who deposit into sperm banks

have an obligation to any child conceived from the sperm?

[Bucky]

51. Only if they make the deposit through the drive-thru window

[porphyrian]

30. Not necessarily, but I seem to feel more responsibility for children than some of their parents.-n/t

[CelticWinter]

31. moral obligation no---

We have a son :-) lots of animals and have a beautiful granddaughter now--our decision we have never regreted. Then last summer my hubby and I meet a 15 yr old girl who stole our hearts, we are now in the process of adopting her :-) Its funny I never wanted children, was told by my doctors I could never have any---got pregnant (only time I ever did) and now at 40 something, a student in college, I am adopting another child. :-)
No one should ever feel obligated to have a child to make others happy or because that is what they are suppose to do. Do what you feel is best for you :-)
Celtic

[saltpoint]

33. Folks can have children if they wish but shouldn't feel they have to.

There's a case to be made by having fewer people. Earth's resources are strained as it is.

[TahitiNut]

35. Nope. There are many ways to 'raise' children without being a parent.

Until somewhat recently, I was not adequately confident that I'd be a good parent ... something that I feel requires more than just the 90th percentile in a country with so many horrible parenting role models. I've found that teaching, coaching, mentoring and being a trustworthy adult has enabled me to offer much in the way of support to kids - enough to make a difference, I trust.

Altogether too much of the motivation of many for having children seems to be self-centered - possessive - much like having a car and having a house and having a television. I just cannot regard a human being as part of life's "furniture." I didn't even like the notion of having a wife and the phrase "my wife." The possessive pronoun was, for me insidious.

I've read altogether too much, even on DU, from (self-proclaimed) "parents" that postures and prances in a way that's clearly self-congratulatory. I was raised by a mother whose very identity was based in my existence - and the very clear implication that I was responsible for both her reputation ("what will people think of me if you act like that?") and self-esteem was a lesson of my childhood. (When I did well, she claimed the credit for being a "good mother" and, when I did poorly, I bore the blame for being a brat. I felt robbed.) I see far, far too many kids who bear that burden. It's appalling that "parents" use children as unwitting codependents, imho.

[frebrd]

36. Say what? Moral?

You're joking, right?

:rofl:

[Boojatta]

41. No, I'm wondering about opinions here.

Check out my DU Journal, but ignore what I wrote.

Just click on the links to get to the threads.

Then read some of the odd claims, assertions, and insinuations.

Or don't. It's just a suggestion if you want to see a big variety of opinions, some possibly amusing.

[Judi Lynn]

37. Why, no! What about you? n/t

[Boojatta]

44. I don't feel a moral obligation to do either, but I imagine that

it would be possible for some very clever person skilled in rhetoric to make me feel a bit of pressure in that direction.

I recall reading that a woman was speaking with a neighbor about how the family might starve. Apparently she had a couple of children and the boy committed suicide and left a note asking the family to use the food to ensure that his younger sister was fed. The boy responded to what he took to be an actual risk, but it was not truly even a risk.

I think about moral risk. I rarely consider other kinds of risk unless we are talking about something physical like driving conditions, fire detectors, fire extinguishers, writing a book that is likely to offend a significant number of lunatic murderers and being foolish enough to have my real name and real photo published on the inside cover, etc.

[mentalsolstice]

38. I felt a moral obligation NOT to parent!

I had a messed up childhood, still have a codependent relationship with my mother, which is only likely to worsen as she gets older. No way did I want to burden a child with all that.

[Scout]

42. No. n/t

[H2O Man]

43. I felt a moral

obligation to become the best father I could from the moment I found out that I was going to be a parent.

[jannyk]

47. No n/t

[enigmatic]

48. no

never going to happen, and that's more than ok w/ me.

[Bluerthanblue]

49. obligation??? no one should parent for that reason-

And parenting isn't the only way each one of us has a hand in impacting tomorrows future-

I'm an adoptive and biological Mum- It is an experience I feel very glad to be a part of.

It doesn't make me superior or inferior to any other human being.

We are all children - and the more we could see each other in that light, the better off the whole world would be-

peace,
blu

[lukasahero]

52. Nope. Not a bit.

Why do you ask?

[Boojatta]

64. That's a tough question.

I don't think I can recall the train of thought that led to the OP question. If I remembered every thought that crossed by mind, I would be burdened with a vast amount of rubbish.

[Marnieworld]

53. Nope

Not at all.

[JVS]

54. I doubt that I'd even be allowed to adopt a child.

I've not heard of single people adopting.
If I were to get married, I would likely adopt. My church takes a very dim view of abortion and I think it would be a good thing to help with the consequences of their advice to put kids up for adoption.

[CelticWinter]

58. There are alot of children out there that-----

want or need a single parent home. There are some that a single parent home is what the agency wants them to go to. These kids just want a home, someone to love them and someone they can love :-)
The child that hubby and I are adopting just turned 16 two weeks ago, we went to dinner with her and she was asking me about going to proms, dances, joining different sports and having her own pet I told her she would be able to do these things she teared up because she has never been able to. She has been in the system since she was 7 yrs old and in dec 06 she was released for adoption (the systems needs fixing there is no doubt)but for 9 yrs of her life she has had no real home to call her own. So if you are really interesting in adopting a child, there are thousands throughout the US, and the chances of them being adopted after a certain age are slim. Check out adoptuskids.com grab a tissue because it will break your heart.
Celtic

[JVS]

62. Maybe when I'm older and make more than 14K a year

[ulysses]

65. you can adopt as a single parent.

It may not be as common as with couples, but it definitely happens.

[GreenEyedLefty]

55. No.

[Amaya]

56. no, but I have

there is no moral obligation to have a child. it's a personal choice.

[Eurobabe]

57. No. Not everyone should be a parent, my mother is a prime example

I have two lovely well-adjusted daughters. But I don't think it is a moral imperative to have kids.

[Annces]

59. No

I feel a pressure to live up to my potential or my plan by the creator. I also see why people love to have children, it is one of the most creative things a person can do. I grew up with the large specter of teenage pregnancy, which I took to heart too much, thinking it could ruin the rest of your life. However now I think having a child early is a good thing. That is as nature intended it. Though not too too early.

[NightWatcher]

60. I feel obligated NOT to reproduce

you are all welcome

[MN ChimpH8R]

61. Hell no

I never wanted to be a parent. Not that I ever had a chance to, as I have that unique Asperger's ability to instantaneously and completely repel women I find attractive. I present a bit off when relatively unstressed, but around an attractive single woman, I am way, WAY off because of the stress. But parenthood was never something I would have wanted.

As a practical matter, given the way the economy is going, how the hell is anyone who doesn't make top 10% money even going to be able to raise children over the next twenty years if they live in or around a large city?

[AZBlue]

63. I have absolutely NO obligation to procreate.

Just the opposite these days.

I guess in a way that's saying I might have an obligation to adopt if I wanted a child. There are so so so many children here who need homes and love.

And actually I am thinking of adopting this summer - another four-legged child to be exact.

[ulysses]

66. not a moral obligation, no.

A deep personal desire, even need, to parent, but not a moral obligation.

[Connie_Corleone]

67. No! I can barely take care of myself.

[RB TexLa]

68. No, other people can do that.

[REP]

69. No and Hell No

Moral, biological, sociological, whatever - no desire at all whatsoever to be a parent.

[rebecca_herman]

70. No

Having children someday is one of my most important life goals, I really want to be a parent someday (I'm in college right now) but I certainly don't feel any obligation. I'm going to have children because I want children and for no other reason.

[GOTV]

71. no

[Withywindle]

72. Only if humans were an endangered species!

(Which we kind of are, but OVERpopulation is more of a problem than UNDERpopulation.)

I'll tell you this, though, if I did want children (which I don't) and couldn't have them biologically, I WOULD feel a moral obligation to adopt a needy, already-present child rather than flush tens of thousands on fertility treatments...my genes are pretty good but they ain't all that.

[lonestarnot]

73. Yes.

[gollygee]

75. No moral obligation, but I do have a child

I did it because I wanted a child, not because I felt any kind of obligation. People need to do what's right for them.

[SarahB]

76. No, parenthood is a choice. I choose to be a parent. Not everyone does. So what? nt

[Boojatta]

81. You could ask "so what?" in reply to many thousands of Original Posts

on DU. Perhaps you could explain why it is enough of a what for you to ask "so what." As a man whose name reminds one of shaking a spear once said, "The person doth protest too much." (That's perhaps not an exact quote).

[SarahB]

83. I said it because it doesn't make sense to me why anyone would put that pressure on another person.

Or why people could allow themselves to be pressured. It's not out of some sort of malice, but out of respect for the choices of individuals. It's such a personal decision that it's hard for me to make sense of why it even has to be an issue.

[Boojatta]

84. I don't know anything about cultures in Africa, India, or the Middle East,

but I have heard that there is a church that has many adherents in Central America and South America and that said church not only strongly advises its members to not deliberately abort a single-celled fertilized egg (and to not freeze it for later use in a surrogate motherhood option), but to not even use condoms, which -- after all -- merely prevent sperm and egg from uniting and do not in fact abort anything that could be considered a non-multicellular human being.

Note that condoms can reduce transmission or prevent transmission of various sexually transmitted diseases, in addition to preventing unplanned pregnancies.

As far as I know, that church has the option of excommunicating members who use condoms or who advise others to use condoms. So it seems to be a major issue to them.

Let's not even get into the possibility that there might be some slight distinction between coitus interruptus (aka onanism) and masturbation.

Note: secular biologists classify human beings as multicellular organisms. That is an error according to said church. However, said church also takes a stand on evolution versus creation, claiming either direct knowledge of reality or the ability to judge not just competence, but correctness of scientists. Their actual position on the evolution-creation controversy is of no interest to me given these facts.

[bigwillq]

77. Nope

I don't want kids. Just not for me.

[Geek_Girl]

78. No but being a parent is a wonderful experience

And for people who are ready and wanting to have that responsibility, I say go for it!

[MedleyMisty]

79. No

I have no desire at all to reproduce. And considering how many humans there are, one would think that it might be more of a moral obligation to not reproduce and adopt if you feel you must have a kid.

[Ilsa]

80. No. My desire to proreate had more to do with the biology of instinct,

and a desire to raise a child, maybe two.

[InvisibleTouch]

82. Not in the least.

If I one day decide I wholeheartedly want a child (about a snowball's chance in paradise, but I'm saying if), then I will adopt one. But obligation? Don't make me laugh.

I will venture that those who become parents out of a sense of "obligation," are likely to make lousy parents. In the process they ruin their own lives and the lives of their kids - and that kind of damage echoes down the generations.

Let me propose that we feel a sense of obligation to be true to ourselves.

[Wcross]

85. I feel a moral obligation NOT to bring a child into this world.

I don't like children. What good would another unwanted child be?

[Boojatta]

86. What percentage of illegal immigrants to the USA believe that they have

a moral obligation to adopt or be a biological parent of at least one child?

Do we know anything about illegal immigrants to the USA as a group? For example, what percentage of them belong to sleeper terrorist cells? Are fundamentalist Islamicists capable of learning Spanish, or is that -- like what they say in the 9/11 forum -- something that is beyond the capabilities of Al Qaeda, the "Muslim Brotherhood" in Egypt, the Iranian equivalent of the CIA, Hezbollah, etc?

[Thothmes]

87. No