I rushed my daughter to the ER about four hours ago now..

[Fumesucker]

My adult daughter had half her body go numb for a few minutes earlier today, she was home from work taking it easy on doctor's orders today anyway after collapsing and nearly passing out in his office yesterday. I should explain that I live with my daughter, son in law and three grandkids on their five acre property and I watch my grandkids when daughter and son in law are at work, so I'm right here with her.

She didn't tell me what happened at that moment but called her doctor and he told her to get to the ER as quickly as possible. She told me this and I loaded up the the three grandkids plus one friend's kid I'm watching also in the SUV, my daughter was able to make it out to the truck on her own and we took off for the closest large hospital which is about a dozen miles away. She had called her husband while I was getting the kids ready and loaded and then I called her mother, my now ex, and told her what was going on while I was stopped at a red light on the way to the hospital. Her mother freaked and said she was headed straight to the ER.

We got to the ER entrance and my daughter got inside under her own power while I kept the four kids in the truck, one of them is seriously hyperactive and it was for the best that I not take them in an ER if not absolutely necessary. While I was swinging back through the ER parking lot looking for a spot my son in law arrived, we very briefly spoke and I told him to go on in and be with his wife and that I would keep the kids in the truck.

We sat in the parking lot for a while with the AC on (it's about 95 and humid here right now), my son in law came back out to talk to us for a minute and he and I decided it was for the best if I took the kids home, then my ex showed up with the guy she had an affair with and divorced me for, my daughter has not yet met him and doesn't want to.

Now I'm sitting at home with my grandkids plus one other kid and my ex and the guy she cuckolded me with are at the hospital with my daughter. I know I'm being petty and I shouldn't worry about that kind of crap at a time like this but I'm utterly livid. I have to get this off my chest and I really have no one else to talk to but DU right now.

She has been in the MRI for well over an hour now and we haven't heard anything yet, son in law is keeping me posted pretty much in real time via text messaging.

Thanks in advance for any prayers, good thoughts or positive waves y'all can send her way.. and mine too.

[RandomThoughts]

1. Good thoughts for you and your daughter.

:hug:

God Bless I hope things are ok.

[hedgehog]

2. Knowing that you are there with the kids is one less thing for your

daughter and son-in-law to worry about. Trust me, they are very grateful that you are exactly where you are.

[imdjh]

3. Being steady for others is about all you can do right now. nt

[MineralMan]

4. I'll keep you and your daughter in my thoughts!

[Hannah Bell]

5. good wishes for your daughter...

[Geoff R. Casavant]

6. Well, we know who is your daughter's best parent.

Staying at home making sure the grandkids are safe, while every fiber of you would rather be there with her. That takes lots of guts and love.

Hoping for a speedy diagnosis, good news, and a speedy recovery. But regardless, I know she's in good hands with her husband and you.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

7. I completely understand -

you should be in there, but you can't be, and, honestly, you know that the little ones need you right now, especially your grandkids, who are probably upset that something's wrong with their Mommy.

The others are standing by, but you're actually able to DO something, which is to take care of the children, and, man, that's a big, big one.

Your ex takes, however, the Bad Taste Award for showing up with her boyfriend. The utter height of insensitivity. I hope your daughter is all OK, that everything is fine, that it was just the heat or something like that, and I hope that she can tell that fucker to get the hell out of her sight (the guy, not her Mom).

Good vibes to all. You're doing something wonderful, Grandpop .............................

[Gormy Cuss]

8. Don't blame you for being steamed and this is the best place to let it off.

I hope that you get good news soon about your daughter. Remind yourself that you're doing a more important job than hanging out at the hospital -- you're making sure that she's not worrying about her kids because she knows they're in good hands. Your grandchildren are also with someone who loves them and will keep them safe.:hug:

[Echo In Light]

9. Positive vibes

[EFerrari]

10. It's not petty to be upset when people disrespect you.

That just means you respect yourself.

:hug: to your family, Fumesucker.

[csziggy]

11. Best wishes for your daughter - I hope she is OK

As for your ex - she will probably piss off your daughter bringing in the other man. So don't be pissed about them being there, be more concerned how this will affect your daughter as she is recovering. Maybe talk it over with your SIL and if he thinks it would stress your daughter, have him ask your ex and her new guy to leave. He can use the tact that this would be in the best interests of your daughter, and keep you from making it about the other man.

Sending good thoughts your way for your daughter.

:hug:

[Name removed]

12. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[a kennedy]

13. *hugs* and positive thoughts for you all.....

:hug:

[sandyj999]

14. Good Thoughts for your daughter.

Don't diminish what you are doing for your daughter by staying with the kids. If I were your daughter it would be really comforting to me to know someone that loved my children was with them. My best to you both.

[foxfeet]

15. Good vibes en route!

Your daughter and grandkids are lucky to have you. I wish you all the best possible outcome.

[Spazito]

16. Bringing the children home and staying with them will help your daughter more than...

anything! Knowing her babies are safe at home with their granddad is VERY important, more important than who might be waiting at the hospital with the exception of her husband of course.

Am sending only positive thoughts your way for your daughter and the family.

[plcdude]

17. Okay

1. You are doing the best that you can in taking care of the kids. Your daughter knows who to turn to for this important role.
2. Concentrate on what you need to do for this family and not on the past disasters. You are obviously better than that.
3. Your daughter is going to be all right, we'll take care of that.
4. Ain't life interesting!

[bigwillq]

18. Best wishes to your daughter.

:hug:

[Fumesucker]

19. Thaks everyone, I wish I could reply individually but I just don't have time right now..

Just got a "no news yet" update..

And the other grandma is making dinner tonight for us all..

[redqueen]

21. Here's hoping you get some good news soon...

hang in there.

[Boxerfan]

22. As much as you want to be there you are doing the most good keeping the kids safe

And my prayers be with you..
Carl

[Birdiesmom]

25. Don't worry about replying -- just hang in there.

Good for Grandma. Less of a load on your mind.

[seabeyond]

27. do let us know. take care of you and yours. your feelings are valid, ....

regardless. they are what they are. and better to vent them out here than in a more inappropriate place.

being there with her kids is doing more for this mother (your daughter) than you can imagine, and the father too. or seeing as you are as concerned about your daughter, you clearly know the comfort you give them by taking care of the kids in their time of need

[JuniperLea]

57. What seabeyond said...

[yellerpup]

30. You are the best!

You are doing the most important, most valuable thing you can do right now and you are doing it out of love which is the exact, best reason. Your daughter will treasure you for taking good care of her babies. The last thing she needs is extra stress and worry. Good for the other grandma, too. Sending good vibes and strong healing thoughts to your precious daughter. It is galling to be sure for your ex to be so tone deaf in the situation, but you--you're solid gold! :hug:

[noiretextatique]

33. i hope your daughter recovers

:hug: and i am sorry you have to endure your ex.

[redqueen]

20. Good job.

Can't have been easy, all the wrangling and panic.

Good luck, my thoughts are with you. :pals:

[villager]

23. First, and most importantly, best to your daughter for a speedy/full recovery! Now, on the Ex front.

...my ex has broken up and gotten back together with her "affair guy," a half-dozen times since they blew the marriage apart...

...mostly I didn't have to contend with him being around, but lately, she's been bringing him to youngest son's baseball games (because his son also plays baseball)....

So I just sit with other friends, etc...

But are all affair-having Exes this emotionally clueless? Or does their behavior kinda answer that question, already?

[Mother Of Four]

24. As someone who has four kiddos of my own-

And also someone who's had to be rushed to the ER in an emergency situation, (severe abdominal infection) please know that what you are doing right now makes things so much easier on your daughter. When that happened to me my littles were 3-5-7-9 approx, and knowing that someone I loved and trusted was there easing my childrens fears, keeping them safe and making sure any questions they had could be answered meant the world to me.

It made it easier on the kids, easier for me, it helped my husband focus on what was going on. I know that it grinds your gears, because the OM has no right to be there. But please understand that even though you were betrayed your ex still is her mother. It's not petty, it's human. Just focus on the fact that she IS her mother, that YOU are doing something incredibly important, and keep your thoughts positive.

[Stinky The Clown]

26. ......

:hug:

Lemme know if ya need more. I got plenty, man.

[nadinbrzezinski]

28. Good luck, and hopefully it will not be too serious

As to your worries, they are valid, not petty.

Hugs

[handmade34]

29. in our thoughts

hang in there. You will be appreciated for what you are doing. Positive vibes )))))))))))------->

[Speck Tater]

31. Here's hoping it's something minor.

Similar thing happened to me 5 years ago or so. They put me on meds because my BP was way too high. Five years on, everything is fine and my BP is much better. Hope things work out as well for your daughter.

For what it's worth, same thing happened to an aunt of mine. She ended up needing surgery to clean out one of her carotid arteries, but after that she was fine, and that was at least 25 or 30 years ago.

[AndyA]

32. Sending good thoughts to your daughter.

You are where you need to be, the kids need to be taken care of right now. Your daughter knows you're doing what you need to do to help her out. I'm sure she's glad to know the kids are in good hands.

[peace13]

34. Great job getting her to the hospital and keeping the kids safe.

Put the thoughts about your ex out of your mind. Send all of your energy to your daughter for a quick recovery. I understand what you are saying and the pit of the stomach reminds us of the past from time to time. Your daughter will rest easier knowing that the kids are safe with you. After the dust settles I am sure that your son in law will make arrangements for the kids and you will be at your daughter's side. I'm 52, my parents were divorced when I was 16 and I know what you mean about dealing with the 'crap'. After all these years we still have to deal with it here. I will send you good thoughts and energy. Keep up the good work. Peace, Kim

[Fumesucker]

35. CAT scan just came back normal..

I thought it should have been MRI for soft tissue but I queried and it was indeed CAT scan..

Now considering other options..

Thanks again.. I do indeed know I'm doing the right thing but all the support for it is very nice..

[redqueen]

38. More waiting...

figures.

Here's hoping the news, when it comes, will be good. Hope your daughter is feeling better at least.

[anneboleyn]

42. I know from personal experience that MRIs are better -- much more detailed than CAT scans, so push

for an MRI and make sure the radiologist looks at the images and read the radiologist's report.

[anneboleyn]

43. Also, what are the doctors looking at in the imaging? Brain scans? Ask for an MRI.

[merh]

36. I understand your anger - please know you are doing more

for your daughter and her husband where you are, taking care of their children.

Your daughter and all of you are in my prayers.

[babylonsister]

37. Keep us posted, healing thoughts sent your way, and you

are invaluable to your daughter right now, taking care of the little ones. You're doing the right thing!

[Chorophyll]

39. Good thoughts and vibes for you, your daughter and your family. nt

[proud patriot]

40. than goodness the grandkids have you there

your daughter won't have to worry about the kids .

[Fleshdancer]

41. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without the guilt

You're going through an incredibly scary and stressful situation right now. Sometimes directing your anger at something slightly off topic can help you cope. Besides, it was completely tacky for her to bring him given their previous actions and you have every right to feel angry.

You and your daughter are in my thoughts. Please keep us updated. :hug:

[Blue Diadem]

44. You're a good Dad and Grandpa.

Your daughter is very lucky to have you. I'm sure it's a relief to her that you are with the kids.

Prayers and good vibes for your daughter, you and your family.

[mwooldri]

45. I'm sending my prayers/vibes/etc your way...

... hope your daughter pulls through.

You've got a tough job right now... taking care of the kids is very important and will de-stress your daughter, as others have said up-post.

Hang in there!

Mark.

[tom_paine]

46. Thoughts, prayers and good wishes directed to your daughter.

[Fumesucker]

47. OK, this is mind boggling to me..

But apparently, multiple symptoms, weakness, dizziness, collapsing at the doctor's office and other things over a period of some months now are due to ..

Wait for it..




Anemia, severe anemia.

I mentioned anemia yesterday and she told me that her "iron was good", this after a visit to the doctor's office that day where she collapsed.


Thank you everyone, I must tell you that I'm greatly relieved by these results but I'm totally perplexed as to how severe anemia can go without being diagnosed for a period of months these days.

SIL has a good union job and excellent insurance, this should not be happening. At least they don't have to worry about being able to see the doctor or visit the ER..

Edited for speling.

[blaze]

50. Good news!!!

Thanks for that update!!

Bet you're breathing a pretty big sigh of relief, eh?

And thanks for being such a good Gran'pa.

[Mrs. Overall]

51. Yep. This happened to me several years ago.

I started to lose peripheral vision, had dizzy spells, my lips were turning blue, my limbs would go numb. It was severe anemia and after three days on huge doses of iron, I felt completely well.

She will probably be put on large doses of iron and then will be retested after a few weeks. If she is still anemic, they might look for other causes, such as a bleeding ulcer, or overly heavy menstruation.

Best of luck to her as she gets well.

[MiniMe]

52. Happened to a friend of mine

She was really weak and pale. She had really heavy periods so she went to the gyn. In fact, she had had the problem previously and had to be transfused, different doc though. The doc blew her off, she asked and scheduled her for a D&C, didn't believe her about how much bleeding she was doing. Said she was "too calm" to really be bleeding that badly. She finally insisted on a blood count, which he finally agreed to. She got a call from him the next day, on every phone number he had for her. Turned out she was severely anemic. Needless to say, she changed gyns.

Sorry, I know you are a guy, but it really does get that bad sometimes.

[JuniperLea]

58. Great news!

Tell your SIL to go buy a complete set of cast iron pans and skillets... and use them daily... you'd be surprised at how much iron gets into your system.

Whew... well... thank Goddess!

[anneboleyn]

59. Please tell your doctor to follow through -- anemia can have multiple causes that need attention.

[knitter4democracy]

61. Which iron test did they do? There are several.

The usual one always shows my iron level as fine, but the more extensive one shows often that I'm anemic, though better than I was when I was younger. Anemia can be a bitch, pardon my language. My worst bout was after my daughter was born, and I still have no idea how I made it through that harrowing time.

[OneGrassRoot]

62. I am SO relieved for you!!! n/t

[pengillian101]

63. Thanks for the good news update.

Glad to hear it. :hug:

[nadinbrzezinski]

64. From personal experience can be a bitch

now comes the rest of the tests to find why... and she can look forwards to iron supplements in her diet

No I never fainted, but god I was so damn tired all the time

[DainBramaged]

48. In my prayers, all my best

:hug:

[roguevalley]

49. Your daughter is in my prayers. The parent that count is the parent

that is there. Don't worry about the mess. She knows you were the one to count upon, you were the one they turned toward. Best wishes and do take care. You are in our thoughts.

[KittyWampus]

53. I'm glad it's something treatable like anemia. She has a great parent in you.

:hug:

[Hekate]

54. Best to you and your family, Fumesucker

:grouphug:

Hekate

[Odin2005]

55. Oh no! I hope she ends up OK!

:( :hug:

[JuniperLea]

56. All the best to you and your family...

Will hold the positive thoughts.

When you get past this crisis, you might want to pick up this book: http://www.amazon.com/Forgive-Good-Frederic-Luskin/dp/006251721X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245891311&sr=1-1

You seem like to nice a person to carry all that sadness around.

Your family is so very lucky to have you!

[Ilsa]

60. Blessings to your daughter and your family. I know you are

probably wishing you could be two people right now. Just know that
your presence with the kids gives her more peace of mind than having
them with your ex's new guy. I bet the kids' dad will give you a chance
to be with her.

I hope they can send her home soon.

[omega minimo]

65. That stinks!! Know that she can feel you, though. Your love for her and the kids, that's what she

needs to see her through.

I'm sorry for your frustration. Even at a distance, love transcends all the other crap. And YOU are there FOR/with the kids.

Have you called the hospital directly so you're not waiting for the others to fill you in?

Best to all of you. Even the asshole guy :spray: (Really not cool to bring him, eh?)

[grace0418]

66. You're a great dad and you're doing the right thing. Good news that it wasn't

more serious. And, by the way, you have every right to feel frustrated. That was tacky for your ex to bring her new boyfriend.

[Vidar]

67. All the best to you & your daughter.

[Bluerthanblue]

68. you remind me of my beloved Dad-

who i miss terribly even 12yrs after his untimely death.

Of all the people in this scenerio, YOU-: "Dad" "Grandpa" "father in law" are actually doing something tangible with your love for your daughter- You are being where she cannot be right now- there for her children, which is so much more than your ex is doing. You are allowing her husband to be there with her without the added stress or worry of the kids, because she and he know they are in your loving care.

I'll be keeping your Daughter in my thoughts and prayers- and you too... try not to let the issues of your ex and the pain and anger her presence and insensitivity have caused you interfere with doing what you know is the best you can do for your daughter. You ARE there for her- in the most meaninful and loving way right now. I believe things will turn out fine. It is so good that you were there, and that you are someone she and her husband can count on and trust.

Sending you and your family wishes of comfort, peace and healing.

:grouphug:

~blu