FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE-Crucial Step In Reducing Mounting Incidents Of Congress Crapping Their Pants

[kpete]

Anti-Terrorist Fantasy Dream Team on the Case

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

WASHINGTON, DC – Seeking to quell fears of terrorists somehow breaking out of America's top-security prisons and wreaking havoc on the defenseless heartland, President Barack Obama moved quickly to announce an Anti-Terrorist Strike Force headed by veteran counterterrorism agent Jack Bauer and mutant superhero Wolverine. Already dubbed a "dream team," their appointment is seen by experts as a crucial step in reducing the mounting incidents of national conservatives and congressional Democrats crapping their pants.

"I believe a fictional threat is best met with decisive fictional force," explained President Obama. "Jack Bauer and Wolverine are among the very best we have when in comes to combating fantasy foes." Mr. Bauer said, "We're quite certain that our prisons are secure. Osama bin Laden and his agents wouldn't dare attempt a break-out, and would fail miserably if they tried. But I love this country. And should Lex Luthor, Magneto or the Loch Ness Monster attack, we'll be there to stop them."

The move has already earned widespread praise, and veteran columnist David Broder hailed the bipartisan nature of the team. But not all were convinced. House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) scoffed, "I thought the president was a Spiderman guy. And what a surprise that a Canadian would use knives on his hands versus a good ol' fashioned American Uzi."

............

The Kimberly-Clark Corporation, manufacturers of Depends adult diapers, has already come out strongly against the announcement of the Bauer-Wolverine dream team, claiming that their increased sales are helping spur the nation's economic recovery. Republican Newt Gingrich also condemned the president's actions. "President Obama seems to think that crapping one's pants is a bad thing somehow," said the former Speaker of the House, "but crapping one's pants is what this country was founded on. The Reagan Revolution wouldn't have happened without fear of evil Soviets and welfare queens. And say what you will about President Bush, he kept this country crapping its pants for seven long years after 9/11."

The White House declined to comment.

more at:
http://vagabondscholar.blogspot.com/2009/05/anti-terrorist-fantasy-dream-team-on.html

[snot]

1. ha ha!

[wuvuj]

2. When you weren't "really" elected....

...and you ride around in a limo.....everything seems like a threat? World largest military by far....but everything is a threat?

The govt/MSM line after 9/11 was......."this changes everything"?

The hysterical elephant dances for our pleasure and entertainment.