Psychopathy, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and Narcissism
Updated 12 years later.
Identity:The narcissist has identity-- but it is one he chose, not one that evolved naturally. That means he thinks of himself as something-- based on a model. He consciously identifies with someone-- Tony Soprano, the guy from Coldplay, Jack Kerouac, or a combination of traits from people, etc.
The psychopath has no model-- he just exists.
Since the narcissist's identity is entirely made up, it requires other people for constant reaffirmation of his identity and of its value. Psychopaths don't need people for this, they need them for material things.
Ability to feel: Psychopathy is characterized by a lack of feeling and empathy-- a lack. When he kills you, he does not feel remorse, or fear-- after the immediate emotions, he doesn't feel anything. The next day is the same as the previous day.
"Narcissists, whatever their faults, feel deeply, too deeply. That's why they take rejection so hard."
No. Narcissists appear to have emotions, feelings, empathy-- they cry, laugh, feel your pain, etc-- but none of this is real. They don't feel it. It's not linked to anything internal. They're crying at the funeral, for sure, but on the inside they're wondering why it doesn't hurt as much as they think it should. They're proud at their daughter's ballet recital, but not actually proud, inside they're wondering about their promotion, or that jerk at the store, etc. He may feel pride that she's his daughter, but not empathy, nothing about her as a separate person.
Sometimes even they believe the emotion is real. If you've decided you're The Godfather, then those are the emotions you're going to experience or not experience, with the same intensities. Pride matters, lust won't. Etc. And don't get confused. Narcissists don't pick their identity based on their genetic or preset emotional range; the choosing of the identity comes first. Picking who you are actually changes how you feel, how you think. A narcissist is a psychopath who has assimilated the emotions of the character he is playing.
http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2008/10/psychopathy_antisocial_persona.html#more