I am having a meltdown - I can't keep up with this economy anymore

[debbierlus]

My husband has lost 80% of his sales of antiques over the past three months. He is a long time dealer and sells on all venues. We are only barely keeping afloat because of two sales of high priced items in the past month and a half. My income is fixed for the time being.

We are trying to transition to a live auction hall, but start up costs are high. It will mean postponing AGAIN (I am talking six years AGAIN, every year we think we can do something to fix our house up which is so beat it is getting embarrassing), rebuilding our wrap around porch (which is falling off the house), and taking the rest of a home equity loan to start a business I don't even know will work. I can't sell our house, it is torn apart from projects that we never had the money to complete. I want to scream.

Maybe it is because it is my birthday today, and turning 37 with no financial security and no idea how to even keep running in place. Maybe it is a mid-life crisis. I know there are people who have it way worse, I just never thought it would be THIS hard. I guess it is because lately, nothing is working out. I know I am not alone. I guess I have just lost hope.

:<

[hlthe2b]

1. All, I can say, Debbierlus...

is that I empathize, understand, and you are very clearly not alone... I know of no one who is not feeling vulnerable and seeing others struggling even more, that "there but for the grace of God (Goddess, Buddha, luck or whatever) go I."

Hang in there.... The struggle is the journey...

[debbierlus]

2. I just hope that it gets better someday

I don't mind working. I don't mind busting my ass. I grew up blue collar mill rat girl all the way. I never had expectations of wealth. I am luckier then some. This I know. I am not homeless. We eat. We have our health.

I am just worried we won't be able to preserve it.

[defendandprotect]

3. Happy Birthday . . . anyway . .

and I hope that things will turn around for you --- and for all of us!

[RazBerryBeret]

4. I know it is very hard...

trying to navigate this economy and the downsizing....I sometimes wake up at night in a panic, if I'll be able to send my sons to college (the savings plan is the first to go)... what I have relied on to calm down a little is to think that there ARE others worse off than I am (unfortunately) and at least 45% of Americans ( I'm guessing) are in the same boat. kind of misery loves company....but we will just have to work together now and in the future to make a future for all of us.

I'd like to buy you a drink for your 37th....but take a deep breath and relax.

do you have any friends/relatives who may be able to help you with your house projects? maybe if you divide and conquer, the smaller projects can get done ... ( I LOVE wrap-around porches!!)

Good luck to you!!

[debbierlus]

7. Thanks...nice of you

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone who can help build a porch. My husband is so busy working, it is a choice between an income and home repairs.

You are right. Keep faith and work together.

Actually, a meltdown was just what I needed for my birthday. It has been a long time coming. I am usually the pollyanna one around these parts.

[emilyg]

5. Happy Birthday to you.

I'm almost twice your age. My worry is what if the little bit of savings goes belly-up. Too old to start anew.

[debbierlus]

9. The older people in my town are struggling

My vow with a new auction hall is to hold at least two benefit auctions a year for the senior center and food pantries.

Thanks.

[midnight]

13. That is so generous of you. I truly believe that what you give,

comes back doubled.

[susanna]

32. This is for both midnight and Debbierlus...

I think you're spot on, midnight. Something happens to open-hearted people who give. Others come to your aid when you need it, even if you don't expect it. Kindnesses are often repaid in ways you never expected. I am always humbled when someone I once helped, maybe even unthinkingly, rushes to help me when I need it. It is so touching and really gives you a boost when you're down.

Debbierlus, hang in there. Your earlier post truly showed your big heart: you know you have your health, food and a home, and I believe that your sense of gratefulness will keep you going as times get more confusing. I know how worrying and frustrating it is to wonder if you'll keep what you've managed to build. I was just laid off after 22 years (thanks, economy!) and I feel many of the same things you do - especially the uncertainty. In my case, all those little projects around the house we couldn't get to (both of us working full time) are starting to get done (by me...boy am I learning). I've decided to view that as a silver lining during the clouds. :-) Anyway, take care, and a very happy birthday to you. As my grandmother loved to say, "this, too, shall pass." Keep sight of the most important things and I truly believe you will be fine.

[trof]

6. All I can say is that I can relate and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! anyway.

Retired on fixed income and watching gas and food prices go higher and higher.
This life ain't what I'd planned for when I retired 9 years ago.
:-(

[debbierlus]

8. Thanks

I hope things get better for us all.

[trof]

11. Not for a long time I'm afraid.

[midnight]

10. It isn't mid-life crisis. It is being a small business owner.

And during a climate, where loans for small business owners are being bypassed for the likes of large computer co. I think I heard it was microsoft or IBM. I wish I could offer better words to help, but do not give up. You are right-nothing is working, but again don't lose hope. Hang on to your dreams.

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

12. I am a former small business owner and I can really relate.

Please don't take ALL of your available equity for your new hopefully successfull but could be iffy project. A little or some, but not all. You will need it later, plus the crappy banks are even reducing equity lines without notice.

Could you:

transition to onsite estate sales? Appraisals of antiques for estates? Being an intermediary for people who want to sell on their own by providing descriptions, photos and expert opinions? Go on a local radio show as the local antiques expert. Write a column about antiques for the local paper. Organize antiques charity events for local hospitals, organizations, etc. where you donate the location but still make something, maybe 1/2 your usual fee, etc.

Your live auction hall will have set costs you will have to meet whether you have sales or not. Many organizations need reasonably priced meeting spaces, maybe you can rent your facilities some of the time.

Good luck! Happy Birthday!!!

[debbierlus]

14. Already do estate sales...the other stuff doesn't pay....

Pretty well established actually and familiar in the area antique business. It is actually a logical move.

I actually think it will float, BUT it will be a HUGE amount of work and a lot of up front expense.

Hustlers we are.

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

23. You know what? Maybe you're just ahead of the curve.

When you think about it, auctions and estate sales should be one of the growth areas in a recession as people attempt to sell off assets.

You sound like you have a good heart and a sound head and I'm sure you'll weather things.

But I do remember that when we had our businesses that I could have tapped more money from the house to throw into them and we didn't and it was the smartest thing we ever did. It meant that we salvaged something to move forward with.

[jpertello]

15. I live my life

as if every dime I make will be my last. I don't spend what I don't have to spend. Each time I am out in a store I remember my Mom saying "you are only truly mature when you understand the difference between a want and a need." And so I don't buy what I don't need. I accumulate very little. I could pack and move in a week if I had to. When I die it will take about 2 hours to go through my scant possessions and divvy up what I collected in life. A few books, a couple of CD's. A small wardrobe of modest clothes. I love my empty rooms because when I peer into blank space I can think freely. My possessions don't possess me. My neighbors all subscribe to the Conspicuous Consumerism philosophy. All over Northern Westchester are Beemers, Hummers, gardeners doing lawns 7 days a week, huge McMansions with 3 car garages and 2 story entries. I refuse to attempt to keep up with these type of people. Because I know it would destroy my very soul to even try.

My favorite book growing up was "Walden".

So now the rest of America is just starting to learn what my Mom and HD Thoreau taught me a long time ago:

to "live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

To debbierlus:
I am sorry for what your antique business is going through. I am also in the business of selling a luxury item in a tough economy so I know what you're going through. People are tightening their belts. I hope things look up for you and your husband very soon.

[debbierlus]

19. I was brought up the same way

I know how to do it. You should see my car :)

thanks for the sympathy

:)

[Greyhound]

16. The republik economy combined with some fraud sent this SBO from

a net worth in the very high 6 figures to barely avoiding homelessness. I really do feel your pain.
:grouphug:

Oh yes, we're being laid off from the McJob I took in 2 weeks, the whole department is going.

[debbierlus]

20. So sorry. I know I am far from alone.

[bananas]

17. Happy Birthday anyway

[ThoughtCriminal]

18. Here too

Just hit 50 and our business is down 50%. Not a good combination.

Trying to figure out plan B if layoffs (likely) take out my wife's job. We would be seriously screwed - especially in terms of healthcare.

Considering mothballing the business and putting the time into some new job training. At my age, I can't say that's a thrilling prospect.

[progressoid]

21. I know the feeling deb...

This should be my busiest time of the year. Instead, I'm treading water.

At 45, I feel less secure than I did 10 years ago.

Would a little Monty Python help?



Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

[Sal Minella]

22. Probably doesn't help, but 37 was my hardest birthday (of 70 birthdays).

Cried all day, anticipating the shock of turning 40. Then turning 40 was fine, no problem.

Turning 37 was discombobulating in the extreme for me. I hope you can sit back this evening and have a Birthday Cup of Tea or something, and re-shoulder your worries tomorrow. Peace and hugs.

[bdamomma]

24. you have our support here, and our listening ears

and these :hug: Happy Birthday to you also.

[Olney Blue]

25. Happy Birthday, debbierlus. I hope things get better.

[InvisibleTouch]

26. I'm in a similar business...

...not antiques specifically (though I do sell them on occasion), but Ebay in general. Sales have really plunged because people don't have the money to buy. Hardest-hit are "luxury" items and collectibles, things that aren't outright needed by people to survive. Of course, that stuff used to be my biggest sellers. I'm juggling finances too, paying one credit card with another, etc. I've gone so far as to scrounge and sell scrapmetal to bring in that last missing $20 for the month's expenses. But you know what? Somehow I've always had a sale come in or an unexpected source of income when I most need it. And dire times have forced me to be very creative about what I eat and what I spend, finding cheaper alternatives and cheaper sources. In a way, this balancing act at the edge of the cliff is an adventure - one that could end in disaster, to be sure, but so far, I'm still here. As long as my animals get fed, I still consider myself "afloat."

[Straight Shooter]

27. A lot of people can't afford to buy antiques but can afford to have furniture refinished.

Have you thought about learning furniture refinishing? I don't know where you're at, as far as large city, small city, but I live in an area with a fairly small population; a local couple began furniture refinishing a couple years ago and have stayed busy-busy ever since. (To be a good refinisher, you need to learn how to repair, though.)

Anyway, it's just a thought of something you might work towards as a goal.

In the meantime, though, Happy Birthday! My 37th was my most favorite birthday of all :D

[yardwork]

34. Also reupholstering. I think that a lot of people will be looking into having that done

instead of buying new furniture when their old wears out.

I'm trying to figure out how to reupholster some furniture now. I can't dream of replacing it, and I don't know anyone around my area who does the work.

[Sal Minella]

37. The re-upholstery shop in my area is booked solid many months in advance.

If I were younger I would ask to sign on with her as an apprentice to learn the trade.

[lib2DaBone]

28. There is a light......

"There is a light at the end of the tunnel.. and it might be a train." (lol.. Just kidding) Lots of folks in this situation. You described my house perfectly. (Deck falling off.. no money) But what really pisses me off.. is that there is no problem in the U.S., that isn't caused by our elected officials. They pass stupid laws, and then act surprised when things are completely out of hand? I sure hate Smirk Boy, but lately I feel the same way toward CONgress. They are not for us.. they are against us. Hope something good happens and a break comes your way. We've got to keep trying day-to-day.

[Maestro]

29. I hope things turn around for you and your husband soon.

The only thing I can offer is a happy birthday hug. :hug:

[tyedyeto]

30. How about turning 56 next month and cancelling your health insurance.......

because you can no longer afford it.

I did just that. My weekly cost rose so high that I had to make a decision of whether to keep paying and go deeper into debt or forgo having any health coverage. Thank you Congress and the * admin for mking that decision for me. Having arsenic-free water and AZ A/C costs skyrocketing made me decide that if I can be healthy for several more years, I can save quite a lot on a monthly basis.

I can only hope that I have no major health issues for the next 9 years until I reach Medicare age.

[EbenezerMcIntosh]

31. Hidden inflation.

Too much fiat currency. Worthless paper being printed. People think they do not have "enough money" when, in reality, their money has lost half of its value since 2000. Therein lies the problem. People cannot afford to invest in antiques anymore. I'm sorry this has happened to you.

[yardwork]

33. I'm very sorry. I have no words of advice, just a hug.

:hug:

[tokenlib]

35. You're not alone in your frustration--you deserve a hug..

It might not make you feel better, but my thread on leaky lifeboats might help you feel less alone.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3632395

[symbolman]

36. Be glad you still have a house..

ours is going Bye-Bye here soon enough.. :(

But Happy birthday! Hope things get better for all of us, maybe Obama can kick the economy's ass here in a few months, eh?