Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

[Webster Green]

This is an oldie but goodie::rofl:


Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

More:
http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

[Faygo Kid]

1. You CAN own a Canadian

[Andy Canuck]

5. It's true and yet

Coors owns Molson's now. Another one (Candian owned company) bites the dust.

[Demeter]

6. I Wish You Hadn't Told Me That

I'm drinking it as we speak. Now I have to find another brand of beer.

[ncabot22]

13. Might I suggest

Alexander Keith's...a fine ale if ever there was one! :)

[robcon]

20. You won't drink American beer?????

Why the prejudice?

[Demeter]

21. I Like European Style Beer

It's not so sour and flat.

[robcon]

26. I was not reacting to your taste in beer...

but to the fact "you wish you hadn't told me that" - i.e., that Molson was owned by an American company.

Why did you react to the fact that it was American-owned like that? My question is - do you have a prejudice against America, or American-owned companies? Clearly, since you were drinking Molson when you posted, it wasn't the taste or quality that was your problem - it seems to have been learning the nationality of the company that owned Molson.

[Demeter]

27. I Have a Problem With Coors

and their politics. It's the "buy Blue" program.

[dantyrant]

24. What?!!?

I didn't know that... shit does that mean I'm going to have to start ordering pitchers of LABATT now? :(

[iamthebandfanman]

28. shore!

they are both delicious!
lol

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. One of my faves LOL

[Giant Robot]

3. West Wing scene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHaVUjjH3EI

[XOKCowboy]

7. WOW I never saw that! Excellent smackdown

I guess I better look into the past episodes of the West Wing.

Thanks! :hi:

[pepperbear]

9. check out this one from the pilot....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V82I7vgzfgE

[XOKCowboy]

18. Now that's a president I could respect...

Thanks

[Lucinda]

4. That was great! Thanks.

:rofl:

[TlalocW]

8. You can't own a Canadian

For the same reason that you can't have ferrets in California - both are rumored to be untameable, destructive creatures that would damage the local ecosystem if they escaped captivity and bred. As a ferret owner, I can tell you that's not true of ferrets, but I haven't heard anything similar about Canadians.

Just kidding. I love Canada.

TlalocW

[kitty1]

11. Are you discussing my Canadian teenaged sons by any chance

[Canuckistanian]

12. You're right

We ARE untameable destructive creatures.

The only thing that keeps us in check are hockey, Tim Horton's donut shops and a natural fear of offending anyone else.

If we didn't have those, look out. }(

[TlalocW]

15. I was attacked by Canadians the other day

If I hadn't distracted them by throwing a package of back bacon and some smokes and running the opposite direction, I may not have lived to tell the tale. :)

I've visited Canada once - around Vancouver and thought it was beautiful, and I'd like to see more of the country.

TlalocW

[Canuckistanian]

16. Cases of beer work better

Particularly the cases of 24 (we call 'em "two-fours"), but I guess they're a little harder to throw.

[Didereaux]

14. My son is(was) dual citizen USA/Can...your description is accurate! lol

[Stephanie]

10. That old chestnut?

It is still funny, tho. :hi:

[tavalon]

17. I love the way it morphs through time

The kernel stays the same but some of the phrases change. That creature, "Dr. Laura", is immanently mockable.

[Didereaux]

22. satire with grains of truth about universals are timeless

[GreenInNC]

19. I am owned by a Canadian

Married her, now she owns me. At least our children can get Canadian passports, so they have that going for them.

[OneBlueSky]

23. don't know if you can own a Canadian, but . . .

according to a HUGE billboard that used to greet you (and may still -- haven't been there in years) when you drove over the Rainbow Bridge at Niagara Falls, you can "Drink Canada Dry" . . .

whenever my friends and I tried, we got very sick . . .

[Swamp Rat]

25. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery... what do you think would be a fair price for her?

:D LOL! I had forgotten about this. Thanks! :hi: