|
I revived this crap from a friend. Said friend belongs to a group I call the "Woodside trust fund baby's". Most of them come from what we in California would refer to as "old money", not to be confused with my X wife, who came from New York style Old money which is really Old money. The Woodside group comes from families who for instance, used to own the land that Stanford University was built on, or belong to the founders of Wells Fargo. My X was Standard oil. Anyway, I have no idea why I am in this group cause I'm just a ghetto kid who clawed his way out to become a union sheet metal worker. For whatever reason, these people are my friends and, truth be told, most of them are quite progressive, if you don't advertise it. We play this game I call class warfare. They send me republican shit to wind me up and I give it right back to them. Here is the latest missive, followed by my response
Subject: Tax Cut as Explained by a Democrat
If you don't understand the Democrats' version of tax cuts (and you are
not alone), maybe this will help explain it:
50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. A
refund was then due.
The team was about to mail refunds when the Congressional Democrats stopped
them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the
Democrat National Committee's interpretation of fairness.
After all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid
for the tickets, most of the money would go to the ticket holders of the most
expensive tickets. That would be unfair and unconscionable.
People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they have less money
to spend. Call it an "Earned Income Ticket Credit." Persons "earn" it by
demonstrating little ambition, few skills and poor work habits, thus
keeping them at entry-level wages.
People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because that's only fair.
People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot
of money and don't need a refund. After all, If they can afford a $50
ticket, then they must not be paying enough taxes.
People in the $75 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they
have way too much to spend.
The people driving (or walking) by the stadium who couldn't afford to
watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn't pay anything in,
because they need the most help (sometimes known as Affirmative Action!).
Now do you understand?
If not, contact Representative Nancy Pelosi, Senator Ted Kennedy or
Senator Hillary Clinton for assistance.
My response;
Tax cuts as explained by Emperor George (I am the King) Bush.
50,000 people go to a baseball game. All the sky boxes are filled with Republican politicians who got free tickets from Jack Abrahamoff. The game was rained out. A refund was due. Halliburton was awarded a no bid contract to oversee the refund process. Halliburtons stock went up 4 points. It was determined that, even though the taxpayers of the city provided the funds to build the stadium along with several more millions of dollars to the team owners as an "incentive" to bring the teams to town, the accounting department, with the help of Tom Delay, would make it look like the owners suffered a financial loss for tax purposes. Legislation was then introduced to award the owners a taxpayer funded grant of $50,000,000.00 to cover any losses under the "Baseball Farm Subsidy amendment. This money was procured from the Agriculture Department under the farm subsidy program and paid for by cutting the school lunch program.
It was decided that, if refunds were made based on the purchase price of the tickets, none of the very wealthy would get any money because they didn't have to pay for the tickets at all. All of their tickets were comped from funds extorted from Indian tribes. That wouldn't be "fair and balanced" so everybody who had a comped ticket got a free golf trip to St. Andrews for the inconvenience of not seeing the game.
C.E.O.s who held season tickets paid for by their companies (and written off their taxes as a business expense) received a full refund ,If they were donors to the RNC. They were also invited to a Republican fund raiser at Pebble Beach. (Golf comped and contributions tax deductible.)
The huddling masses of vanishing middle class folks who had saved up for months to spend a weeks wages on this game were told that anyone who asked for a refund or why they didn't get one was unpatriotic and in bed with Osama.. Just watch what you say, shut up and go home.
Folks in the bleachers were charged an additional $10.00 "ware and tear" seat deprecation fee. If they couldn't pay before they left the stadium, the delinquent funds would be sent to collection. There would be an additional $50,00 service charge for collection..
All the proceeds of the game were paid to Halliburton for administration and stadium cleanup. After Halliburton negotiated a $200.00 per man hour clean up crew price, they bussed in loads of illegals from Mexico and told them they would be paid $3.00 per hour to clean the stadium but would have to pay back the cost of the bus ride, and tool rental fees. (brooms, garbage bags, etc.)
When the stadium was clean, an anonymous call was made to the I.N.S. and all the workers were deported without getting paid. The U.S. taxpayers paid for the buses to send em back.
Like that as a business model for America? Vote Republican.
P.S. Tax cuts as explained by Emperor George (I am the King) Bush.
50,000 people go to a baseball game. All the sky boxes are filled with Republican politicians who got free tickets from Jack Abrahamoff. The game was rained out. A refund was due. Halliburton was awarded a no bid contract to oversee the refund process. Halliburtons stock went up 4 points. It was determined that, even though the taxpayers of the city provided the funds to build the stadium along with several more millions of dollars to the team owners as an "incentive" to bring the teams to town, the accounting department, with the help of Tom Delay, would make it look like the owners suffered a financial loss for tax purposes. Legislation was then introduced to award the owners a taxpayer funded grant of $50,000,000.00 to cover any losses under the "Baseball Farm Subsidy amendment. This money was procured from the Agriculture Department under the farm subsidy program and paid for by cutting the school lunch program.
It was decided that, if refunds were made based on the purchase price of the tickets, none of the very wealthy would get any money because they didn't have to pay for the tickets at all. All of their tickets were comped from funds extorted from Indian tribes. That wouldn't be "fair and balanced" so everybody who had a comped ticket got a free golf trip to St. Andrews for the inconvenience of not seeing the game.
C.E.O.s who held season tickets paid for by their companies (and written off their taxes as a business expense) received a full refund ,If they were donors to the RNC. They were also invited to a Republican fund raiser at Pebble Beach. (Golf comped and contributions tax deductible.)
The huddling masses of vanishing middle class folks who had saved up for months to spend a weeks wages on this game were told that anyone who asked for a refund or why they didn't get one was unpatriotic and in bed with Osama.. Just watch what you say, shut up and go home.
Folks in the bleachers were charged an additional $10.00 "ware and tear" seat deprecation fee. If they couldn't pay before they left the stadium, the delinquent funds would be sent to collection. There would be an additional $50,00 service charge for collection..
All the proceeds of the game were paid to Halliburton for administration and stadium cleanup. After Halliburton negotiated a $200.00 per man hour clean up crew price, they bussed in loads of illegals from Mexico and told them they would be paid $3.00 per hour to clean the stadium but would have to pay back the cost of the bus ride, and tool rental fees. (brooms, garbage bags, etc.)
When the stadium was clean, an anonymous call was made to the I.N.S. and all the workers were deported without getting paid. The U.S. taxpayers paid for the buses to send em back.
Like that as a business model for America? Vote Republican.
Tax cuts as explained by Emperor George (I am the King) Bush.
50,000 people go to a baseball game. All the sky boxes are filled with Republican politicians who got free tickets from Jack Abraham off. The game was rained out. A refund was due. Halliburton was awarded a no bid contract to oversee the refund process. Halliburtons stock went up 4 points. It was determined that, even though the taxpayers of the city provided the funds to build the stadium along with several more millions of dollars to the team owners as an "incentive" to bring the teams to town, the accounting department, with the help of Tom Delay, would make it look like the owners suffered a financial loss for tax purposes. Legislation was then introduced to award the owners a taxpayer funded grant of $50,000,000.00 to cover any losses under the "Baseball Farm Subsidy amendment. This money was procured from the Agriculture Department under the farm subsidy program and paid for by cutting the school lunch program.
It was decided that, if refunds were made based on the purchase price of the tickets, none of the very wealthy would get any money because they didn't have to pay for the tickets at all. All of their tickets were comped from funds extorted from Indian tribes. That wouldn't be "fair and balanced" so everybody who had a comped ticket got a free golf trip to St. Andrews for the inconvenience of not seeing the game.
C.E.O.s who held season tickets paid for by their companies (and written off their taxes as a business expense) received a full refund ,If they were donors to the RNC. They were also invited to a Republican fund raiser at Pebble Beach. (Golf comped and contributions tax deductible.)
The huddling masses of vanishing middle class folks who had saved up for months to spend a weeks wages on this game were told that anyone who asked for a refund or why they didn't get one was unpatriotic and in bed with Osama.. Just watch what you say, shut up and go home.
Folks in the bleachers were charged an additional $10.00 "ware and tear" seat deprecation fee. If they couldn't pay before they left the stadium, the delinquent funds would be sent to collection. There would be an additional $50,00 service charge for collection..
All the proceeds of the game were paid to Halliburton for administration and stadium cleanup. After Halliburton negotiated a $200.00 per man hour clean up crew price, they bussed in loads of illegles from Mexico and told them they would be paid $3.00 per hour to clean the stadium but would have to pay back the cost of the bus ride, and tool rental fees. (brooms, garbage bags, etc.)
When the stadium was clean, an anonymous call was made to the I.N.S. and all the workers were deported without getting paid. The U.S. taxpayers paid for the buses to send em back.
Like that as a business model for America? Vote Republican.
P.S. As a reward for giving Halliburton the stadium management contract, Dick Cheney received an all expenses paid Quail hunting trip for him and a guest of his choice. As of this writing, Hillary has not yet accepted Dicks invite.
So, how did I do?
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
