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Edited on Fri Nov-10-06 11:00 AM by LeftHander
Before November 7th I was a equal citizen of the state of Wisconsin. On November 8th I found that I was something less than equal. For eighteen years I lived in a loving marriage with a wonderful woman believing I was straight. Events in my life lead to my own discovery and disclosure that I was gay. I saw and opened the closet door. With feelings long buried and denied, I lived my life as someone I was not. Despite that, my life has been as good as one would expect, filled with love, good times and bad. I understand and know what marriage is, having lived in one for nearly two decades, I know how important it is for a couple to express their bond in this legal and spiritual manner. I believe in the opportunity and institution of marriage.
On November 7th the citizens of Wisconsin voted to prevent same sex couples from becoming married. They also denied all non-married couples from enjoying the same rights as married ones via civil unions. The citizens of Wisconsin have expressed their desire to relegate anyone outside the bonds of marriage as something less equal and they have voted to prevent same sex couples from ever achieving a true a legal marriage with a amendment to the state's constitution. Wisconsin joins numerous other states to effectively alter centuries of progress in human rights and dignity by voting to deny one group of people rights simply because they fear them. Yes, it is simply fear, homophobia as it is officially called or fear of the "gay agenda"; There is fear that a gay person may be teaching their children by example that you can live happily in a same sex union and fear that one may question their own sexual desires and orientation; Fear, irrational and ignorant drove people to cast that yes vote to deny other's the simple, basic American right to the pursuit of happiness.
The proponents of this amendment in attempting to protect marriage have made it now a loaded word. Because marriage now is only for one man and one woman as described by the state and anything that is similar to "marriage" is not to be recognized in any legal manner. Until the rights granted to marriage are open to all couples including same sex couples then "marriage" is only for those deemed privileged. Just as we saw the hypocrisy in our own definitions of liberty and freedom that ended slavery and created women's suffrage and the civil rights movements, marriage amendments are destined to be challenged by the oppressed. I challenge my fellow citizens to live with the vote they cast. I know that feeling you have, I see it in your eyes. It is called guilt and it will eat away at your soul until it forces you to change and be true to not only yourself but those you have harmed. This is your official "guilt trip" from me to you. You deserve it because you have hurt thousands of people including your friends and neighbors and even your own family.
Being openly gay I see now how it is to be on the receiving end of discrimination for the first time in my life. I did not choose to live as I have as many believe. There is no choice in sexual orientation. It is not a simple selection like "paper or plastic" at the check out lane. You are given your desires and they are what they are and you may accept or deny them, those are the choices. I made both of those choices in my lifetime.
I know that as my marriage comes to a close and a new chapter of life opens up I cannot expect to share the bonds of love I make with the rest of society in the form of a public and legal marriage. That door has been closed for me. It might as well of been the closet door and because of that I am deeply disappointed in the citizens of Wisconsin and of this nation for supporting such amendments.
So this is my requiem for the death of my personal liberty. I am no longer free.
Author Note: I want people to know that in this joyus time of a long overdue Democratic Party victory, there are many who are deeply effected by tuesday's election on a very personal level and cannot join in the victory celebrations. We hurt. I don't think people know what these amendments have done to our society. All I know is I feel very bad and many people who know me and support LGBT people and thier quest for equality, are visably feeling our anguish at being tossed under the bus by both parties. I has been very difficult to write about this and express these feelings to you and I have been struggling with the outcome in Wisconsin...I feel so hurt to of had something as beautiful as marriage taken away from me and all the LGBT people now and in the future.
It was so wrong.
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