Haiku Contest - Everyone Wins

[Magical]

War kills children now
Justifications same old
War criminals all

Grief, anger, sadness
Holocaust survivors heal
Cry together all

Terror is inside
We kill to stop but more grow
Bad leader must go

Another way is here
True time immemorial
Make friend of enemy

Wisdom not war bomb
Hug love cry not kill bleed die
Enough here for all

Psychopath liar
Has big red button to kill
Move him away now

Magical

[bleever]

1. Hate

Hate creates more hate.
Violence is surrender;
Peace takes more courage.

[skids]

2. .

pedantic I know
but haiku's a deep art not
excuse to not rhyme

[Generic Other]

3. Explore the rules of the form

Maybe better to say what passes for haiku (counting syllables) does not make for artful haiku.

Haiku usually involves the juxtaposition of two seemingly unlikely concrete images--often seasonal--which have come together to form a unique moment in time that seemingly reveals some new insight. In zen terms, it's the universe revealed in microcosm. It also suggests the immediacy of the image or experience--barely removed from the moment it was captured--like a camera catching the perfect moment.

None of the haiku I have read on this thread really display an understanding of the form. A good haiku is much harder to write than most poetic forms. If I write 100 haiku, 2 of them MAY recreate the feeling I am trying for. I have been trying to master this form my whole life. I once got an honorable mention in a haiku contest in the Atlantic Monthly. I have a healthy respect for this tricky little form.

Two important rules. AVOID abstractions. Look for those moments in life where strange juxtapositions occur that evoke strong emotions.

Example:

Sunset glistens
off the tanks's gun barrel
the call to prayer sounds.

or this:

The man looks up as
the plane's shadow passes
flag-draped coffins within.


Okay, that was just off the top of my head and not that great, but that's what you should be striving for.
Concrete images. Also most western haiku artists are not rigidly set on the 5-7-5 syllable count.

[skids]

4. I like this resource here:

http://www.ahapoetry.com/haiartjr.htm

...because she's not a soup nazi about it, but gets the point across.

WRT abstractions -- abstractions are fine, as long as they are done through symbolism with concrete objects, and that symbolism isn't weak or contrived :-)

I've only written a few dozen haiku in my life, and I only consider three good. Well, four if you count clever "desk haiku."

Have a crack at my riddle if you have time:

http://abrij.org/~bri/haiku/

[Generic Other]

8. Your haiku experiment is interesting!

I can't for the life of me figure out the riddle with the cast iron though. After the storm comes the calm? The hint was even harder. Some kind of empty or negative space? Maybe the whole series a reference to ying and yang? Dualities of life?

I'm grasping and stretching here... :)

[skids]

15. The hint is mostly meta-haiku...

...that is, a haiku about haiku, specifically some of the techniques one might use to aid in their interpretation. Though it goes specifically to the riddle itself in a few, abeit glancing, ways.

Oh, and as always, consider the confluence of as many interpretations as you can simultaneuously :-)

Guesses by email, though, wouldn't want to ruin it for anyone else.

[QuestionAll...]

11. i haven't read too much haiku

but recall the ones most impressive to me were a altered time frame thing. Almost reverse in chronological order. When it's done effectively it really is a Wow kind of feeling I get.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

5. Okay...

The blackened bodies
speaking softly through the tears
Of Haifa in the mourning












on edit...tears or tears(rips)and morning/mourning.

[Generic Other]

6. Evocative imagery Tom

You have been making haiku-like posts for sometime now, haven't you?

I think I'd omit "the" in the 3rd line.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

7. Thx... The word "the" seves to project the image of "morning" while

the spelling of mourning is used. Without "the" I would lose the double entendre.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

10. A while... 20 years ago I was accused of creating "Splat Haiku." n/t

[Generic Other]

13. I didn't even think of tear and tear (rip). Nice.

I think the image of tears shed over burnt bodies evokes a sad kind of mourning that suggests tears being used to extinguish the burning bodies as well as the pain. But the tearing (ripping) of the peace of a Haifa morning is also very real.

[skids]

18. Pretty good. n/t

[QuestionAll...]

9. I'll give it a shot, but this is my first ever...

The bombs send their reign
On those who were born not there
and sheep lock their horns

[skids]

17. Not bad...

It works.

For trying you get a little advice: avoid articles, prepositions, pronouns, and to some extent conjunctions, unless they really deliver a punch -- or at least a punchline :-)


Most things the one who
appreciates good haiku
hates are here in this

[SammyBlue]

12. Bush

Bush started his war
Everyone is fighting now
Armmegedon soon

WMDs
Still have not bee found yet and
They never were there

Rush Limbaugh spins war
So does Fox and right wing
Soldiers die for lies

"The Constitution
Is Just a G-d damned piece of
Paper to me" - Bush

[Generic Other]

14. Can I spin this variant off your Bush quote?

"The Constitution
is just a piece of paper."
He salutes the flag.

[Yupster]

16. I'll play

Dawn in the desert
Sunrise in an ancient land
There's a Jew - kill him.

[flowomo]

19. mine:

Earth moving into
endless summer while
Hearts harden like ice.

[skids]

20. OK, I fabricated a mini-moment...

bowing load plunder
warship's chest uneven keel
wake just wake eyes wake


(I just couldn't work in a seasonal word. Pity.)