The Best Advice/Lesson Your Father Passed Down To You

[AutumnMist]

I have read several threads today about fathers. What was the one moment with your father that you will always carry with you? And why? This fathers day...what will you be telling your Dad thank you for?

My Dad was a community activist. He came from a small midwest town and after moving to California worked his way up from road construction to union vice president in Pasadena. It wasn't until I was 21 and watched him get an award for what he had done for the union and our community that the wisdom that he passed down to me hit home. It brought tears to my eyes when I thought about what my father had accomplished in his lifetime. It was a moment of change when the child finally saw their parent as a person separate from their own needs. He had gone to the funeral of Cesar Chavez and at the time I knew it meant something but had no idea why it was such a big deal. My father taught me why it was such a big deal. Now I know why he was invited. All of the street walking for signatures and pickets were normal to me growing up. Looking back that kind of dedication isn't so main stream. My father is a humble strong man...and I learned so much from that. If you don't bend, it doesn't mean you have to be in someones face....It just means you never give up. You don't back down. You know where you stand and why. And I love him for that. Thank you Dad.

[teenagebambam]

1. My dad was not much of an activist

and if he had been, he wouldn't have been a Democratic one.

Best advice I got was "don't go take a leak after chopping jalapenos, unless you wash your hands first."

[Tace]

2. "You'll Regret The Things You Didn't Do..."

"...more than you'll regret the things you did do." --Francis Goodwin, Jr.

On Edit: Also, "For work, do what you like."

[Ron Green]

3. "Go out for band instead of football."

[havocmom]

4. Never trust a man everyone seems to like

That, and: don't let someone else tell you how to live.

[Another Bill C.]

5. Always give in to your wife,

principles will never equal sex.

[SeattleGirl]

6. From my dad (and also my mom): "There will always be people

who have more than you. There will always be people who have less than you. Your job isn't to worry yourself about those who have more. Your job is to reach out to those who have less than you."

My dad bought food for friends who didn't have enough to feed their families. One time, a friend of one of my brother's had been kicked out of his house, and was sleeping on a bench in a park. Without hesitation, my dad got in the car, drove to the park, and brought this guy home. He lived with my parents for over a year.

[Joyce78]

7. My dad unfortunately passed away many years ago ...

as a matter of fact, right on Father's Day. However, he told me to never change my religion (Catholic) nor my political party (Democratic). I still carry that advice in my heart.

[FlaGranny]

8. My father passed no specific lessons down to me -

except by the way he lived his life - with a love for nature, science, art, and music, with his gentle nature, love for learning, and generosity. He made his little corner of the world a wonderful place to be.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

9. My dad's wisdom

is contained in two phrases I heard over and over again;
"You only have one life to lead, your own" - usually spoken after I had criticized or critqued anothers actions etc
and
"If you believe everything you read, you can eat everything you see"

I don't speak with him that often, but we are close and I'm lucky to still have him.

[MindPilot]

10. There was not one singular moment

My dad always included me in stuff. He took me fishing. I went to work with him sometimes; he showed me how to use tools and how to fix & build things. When we traveled--which was a lot since he was in the Air Force for 25 years--we would always stop at museums, parks, factories, any points of interest along the way. In short, he showed me the world, big picture to smallest detail.

He had no witty sayings or big philosophy--I guess he just led by example. He died in Sept '01.

[BlooInBloo]

11. You can always fix things. It just gets harder and harder the longer...

... you take to do it.

He had a lot of good stuff, but that might be the one I value most. A combo of prevention AND cure, not just one or the other.

This one was also a good one - though gender-specifc:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=957110#957394

[azurnoir]

12. No political but

When my first child was born he told me -it might seem like forever right now but appreciate your children while they're a part of life .They will only be there for so long(holding his fingers about 1/2 inch apart) and when they're gone you can't ever get that time back. He was /is right.

[woodsprite]

13. Actually, 2 things that he taught me really stayed with me.

1) you can do anything you want to do if you set your mind to it and want it bad enough,

and 2) Give someone enough rope and eventually, they'll hang themselves. :)

[Stu DeBeouf]

14. Don't Eat Yellow Snow....

my Dad was such a card...

[Sapphocrat]

15. "Don't tell me an idea won't work..."

"...unless you can come up with a better idea that will."

-- TLR, 7/10/19 - 12/4/90

[AutumnMist]

16. I Hope By My Post That It Doesn't Just Seem That Its Political

Dads are great...the lesson they teach reach far beyond anything that judges just who we vote for. Thank you all for your input. I think we should bookmark this thread and save it for all the DU Dads. Just because. :)

[SmokingJacket]

17. Treat everyone with equal respect.

My father treats everyone -- people who wait on him, the mentally disabled he works with, college presidents, etc. -- exactly the same.

It's a surprisingly rare quality.

[dysfunctional press]

18. the best lesson that my father taught me was not to have kids...

although i don't think that it was intentional...the man is an abusive alcoholic piece-of-shit who made my own childhood a bad memory.

[gaspee]

27. Similar experience

Neither of mine is any good. Actually, I can't say that totally. I have mixed feelings. While Dad #1 was an abusive, alcoholic MFer, number two a testosterone laden little boy and racist, sexist and a republican because he built nuke subs and always thought a dem pres would cost him his job, he worked hard his entire life. Two jobs when needed and worked every day of his life until he had to retire a few years ago due to heart problems.

That whole love/hate things with the 'rents is tough, isn't it?

Never having kids though. Couldn't pay me to do it.

[slackmaster]

19. "Never point a gun at anything you are not willing to destroy"

Followed closely by:

"The fact that something is said in propaganda does not necessarily make it untrue."

[CAcyclist]

20. Spend at least one year in the dorms in college

and take Spanish.

Wish I had listened to him for the last one.

[kiraboo]

21. "Unless you know the facts, you haven't the right to an opinion."

We heard it a million times growing up. I believe he was right.

[Richard Steele]

22. "If you keep anything long enough, you'll eventually find a use for it."

Sorry, that's all I got. Dad was never terribly political.

[AutumnMist]

29. My Husband

can appreciate that sentiment. It is so very true. :)

[Ksec]

23. Hmm. My Dad was a steelworker and

just watching him go through what he did all his life was an example I use to live by. He worked his nutz off 6 and 7 days a week...for us. One couldnt ask anymore from a Father.

[Jigarotta]

24. my dad, may he RIP....

always railed against governments. very untrusting and suspicious he was. and very not 'educated' in the regular way.
As a young'un only reading regular history books writ by the victors, etc., I thought he was a nutbar.

Daddy, I'm sorry. for being such a slow learner.
but I get it now.

[hobbit709]

25. In 1969

when I was 19, 1-A and my number in the draft lottery was 98 he told me if I went into the Army he would kick my ass every step of the way from home to the induction center-45 miles. He spent 12 years in the Army before he got out and while I knew he was in Korea he never talked about it except once to say it was as screwed up as Nam but at 40 below zero. After I got out of the Air Farce and him and my mom had divorced I found his Bronze Star in a box of stuff at home.

[deaniac21]

26. Never date anyone you wouldn't marry.

[jobycom]

28. He taught me to be "courteous" and to collect worthless junk

My father is one of the nicest people I've ever met. He tries to help everyone, so much so that he gets on people's nerves nowadays. He's never been the academic sort, has always been blue collar and red neck (In a Louisiana sort of way--hard to explain the difference), so we've always had separate paths. I try to be as nice as him. It's probably held me back in life, because I've been too nice to pursue jobs, careers, etc, or to ruthlessly cut people loose from my life. But I like how it makes me feel.

He's a complete junk addict, though, and his junk are things like wrecked cars, burned up freezers, tin from old buildings--real junk. He's got four acres in Mississippi just covered in junk. Each item was a project he never finished or got around to. I don't collect junk, but I collect half-written novels, unfinished travel articles, and numerous attempts to become a professional writer. I get that from him, too, but that's all my fault for not overcoming it.

[no_hypocrisy]

30. Money is work saved up. That way you won't squander it. n/t

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

31. That No Matter How Much Trouble A Kid Gets Into, They're Still Their

Father's son and have their Father's love.

[CabalPowered]

32. Never run out of toilet paper or canned tunafish

[IsIt1984Yet]

33. "You deserve better."

I have the best dad ever.

And the best mom ever, while we're at it.