Want to make a fundies' head explode? Here's how

[DaveColorado]

Note: Be sure to wear a tarp before trying this on a fundie to save your clothing from the flying sand, pebbles, and cobwebs sure to be ejected when their cranium explodes.


"You believe that 'all dogs go to heaven' right?"

"Of course."

"You also realize that there are a multitude of gay dogs in "doggy society" who experience sexual attraction to the same sex."

"Well....uhm...yeah..."

"So, if all dogs go to heaven, therefore all gay dogs go to heaven, therefore God and St. Peter must love gays equally and have a special place in their hearts for them."

*head explodes*

:P

[Peggy Day]

1. trouble-most believe that dogs don't go to heaven nt

[DaveColorado]

2. You mean I won't be reunited with my beloved Poochie?

Someone lied to me.

:P

I'm just having fun hehe.

[n2doc]

3. yep, only people have souls

or so they like to believe....

Just like only people are capable of higher thought..or complex language...

Our conceit as a species has no bounds....

[DaveColorado]

5. Wikipedia - the free Britannica

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Dogs_Go_to_Heaven

Charlie B. Barkin is a lovable and incessently charming German Shepherd (voiced by Burt Reynolds), working at a casino with his business partner Carface Malone. Carface however has Charlie locked away at the pound in order to avoid having to share their joint earnings. Charlie is broken free from jail by his friend Itchy and proceeds to return to their business with big changes and dreams in mind. Carface decides to get Charlie drunk and kill him with the pretext of taking him out for a celebratory drink. Charlie is taken to a Mardi Gras, and when he is suffciently drunk, he is blind folded and violently run over by a car and forced off a pier into a river.

Charlie goes to Heaven, as all dogs do, because 'unlike people, dogs are naturally good and loyal and kind'. but Charlie is dissatisfied with the predictability of heaven and rewinds the clock of his life, returning himself to earth. Unfortunately this now means that Charlie cannot return to heaven because he has forsaken his place. While he is on Earth, he cannot die as long as his life clock continues ticking.

[GreenPartyVoter]

11. I got that laid on me at vacation Bible school... broke my heart

[neoblues]

4. It's not "sand, pebbles, and cobwebs"...

that get ejected when a Republican/Conservatoid/Fundamentalist/Etc's head explodes...
It's a whole lot "uckier" than that... other suggestions for likely contents welcome.

Otherwise, it's not nice to talk to fundies about sex with dogs--they're likely to think of (or remember) the wrong implication--before you make it clear you're speaking of sex between dogs, gay dogs. If you're lucky, they won't get too excited either--but there's a real chance.

[SacredCow]

6. What, exactly, does it look like...

when a vessel under vacuum explodes? :shrug:

[neoblues]

10. Two Things...

First, the inside layer of the vessel is composed of a form of sewage, and, like all things Republican, the vacuum is not a "pure" vacuum (owing to a thin equilibrium of vapor outgassing from the inside layer).

Then again, I figure that the actually negative pressure within their pressure vessel (skull) is artificially increased far beyond that which would result from a simple vacuum--in that they have a form of extreme, dimensional rift causing gravity source--resembling a microscopic 'black hole' only with an infinitely greater gravitational force which then accounts for the super-negative pressure. In other words, the inside of their skulls operate at negative pressures in excess of pure vacuums (despite any foul vapors) because something deep and dark in there sucks beyond belief.... (in the sense that a black hole 'sucks', while simultaneously sucking in the similar meaning as receiving a summons from the I.R.S.--as in Double your pleasure, Double your fun, Two Sucks in One).

Then, to explain an explosion. Just as a supernova 'explodes' as the consequence of a dramatic collapse, as a Republican skull collapses due to the negative pressure, as all that crap comes into contact with itself under increasing pressure, it repels even itself--and therefore seeks to escape, resulting in an explosion! It's just that the remnants aren't pretty little bits of sand and pebbles... and smells alot worse too.

[DaveColorado]

8. I should put another disclaimer up

*Don't try this on Rick Santorum*

[bowens43]

7. dogs don't go to heaven, they just go back to being dust.

[monarch]

9. If dogs don't go to heaven,

I'm glad that I won't be going either.