It's official...

[bliss_eternal]

Spears Loses Custody of Her Kids
Oct. 1, 2007, 5:56 PM EST
The Associated Press

LOS ANGELES -- Britney Spears was ordered Monday to surrender custody of her children to ex-husband Kevin Federline.

Superior Court Judge Scott M. Gordon ruled that Federline will take custody of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, beginning Wednesday "until further order of the court."

The order stemmed from an unspecified oral motion made by Federline's attorneys and was handled in a closed-door hearing. The judge's order didn't state the reason for the change in custody and all transcripts of the proceedings were ordered sealed.

Phone messages left for representatives of Spears and Federline were not immediately returned Monday.

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http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=277813>1=7702

...I really feel bad for her now. :(

Can't believe they are giving custody to her ex, like he was such a stellar human being. (((sigh))
I don't have time to post more, just linked this here as we discussed this situation a bit here, and
I didn't really want to attract any from the GD crowd eager to bash.

From a wonen's rights and feminism perspective, how frequent are men awarded custody in such cases?
This seems very odd, particularly considering she's going to still be the one that has to "pay" for the kids. :shrug:
Color me confused.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

1. All the time

I remember a Phil Donahue show back in (I think it was) the early 80s. These women had written a book called "Mothers on Trial". It was about how, when custody was challenged in court, men WON 70% of the time. Usually based on these bullshit double standards where women were expected to be perfect and men got all kinds of free passes for being remotely interested in their children. They described women losing custody because they hadn't packed perfect lunches for the kids, while men who were abusive dicks were awarded custody. Really put the lie to the "courts favor women" canard. The only reason most women get custody of the kids is because it usually isn't contested. When it is, look out.

[bliss_eternal]

2. That's eye-opening...

...and makes me very sad, particularly for her children. Federline abandoned his kids from his prior relationship and the mother (who was pregnant with their next child) when he started seeing Britney.

I don't know the guy, so of course I can't say this with any certainty--but I get the sense he only challenged custody so he can get paid. He'll probably qualify for spousal support, too.

:(

Thanks for sharing that, I had no idea. "Even in cases when the father is abusive." Ugh. So depressing.

[atommom]

3. Just recently read an article that said abusers win custody 70% of the time

when they seek it. I'm not saying K-Fed (ugh) fits into that category, but I think he's getting more credit than he deserves.

http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=3230

[Katherine Brengle]

4. Exactly - of course they don't get custody when they don't TRY to get it.

I hate the world right now.

I'm sure she has her problems, mainly stemming from how our sick culture has used her for years, but it does seem wrong to me.

[ismnotwasm]

5. My husband got custody

Almost by default. His ex-wife not only left, she had a history of instability. It's a long story, but I think had she NOT left the girls behind and, among other things, didn't bother to show up to court--the outcome would have been much different. As it was, my husband raised two girls, one of them not a year, the other not three, by himself for several years. Until me.

The thing was, at the time, he was in shock over having young children to raise by himself. He talks to this day about changing diapers, and learning how to be a "mom". I remember in the early years of our relationship telling him "welcome to my world"

Knowing the kind of emotional and mental support my husband's ex-wife needed over the years--we did our best, but what she needed we didn't have-- this story touches something in me and it's also part of why I hate the "Brittany bashing"

On edit; This was over twenty years ago, and I have to say I think it's a different world now. There seems to be a reactionary movement against women in custory battles. (as in other areas) As women gained "rights" the powers that be learned different ways to take power or control away.

[bliss_eternal]

11. Very interesting...

...I appreciate your sharing something so personal here. :hug: That must have been such a challenge for your husband, caring for two little girl's by himself, working, etc. I honestly don't know how any single parent manages it. Such a hard job.

I don't know what kind of parent I would be. But I know I would make mistakes and just think it's shitty the way every mistake she makes is turned into a national event. I wonder how much that has contributed to her present mental state. :(

[BlueIris]

6. Although I feel there are many cases in which women lose custody unfairly,

and contrary to popular belief, women are held to a much higher standard by the courts than men are when it comes to parenting issues, I think the latest ruling against Spears was completely justified. I don't feel like going into why for those of you who clearly haven't been following the details of her divorce or the custody dispute (do your own research—seriously—before you get too invested in defending her neglect and abuse of her children). I also hope Federline's fitness to parent is closely monitored by the authorities and that the children get some kind of stability in their lives as soon as possible, (I'm not optimistic) but Spears really shouldn't retain custody.

[foxeyes2]

7. I agree

It appears to me from what has been reported that this is justified.
I do not think that Federline will win any father of the year awards but at this point
he seems the more stable of the two. What should be most important in this situation is
the health and well being of the kids. I don't see it as being an anti-woman ruling at all.

[ismnotwasm]

8. Good point

About women being held to higher standards. I don't know anything about this case outside of a tabloid or two, but I hope she gets the help she needs, and the children are kept safe, healthy and happy as possible.

One thing I do know, being on the other side of parenthood, with grown children, is this isn't the end of the story, and Ms. Spears will always be the children's blood mother. Having been a mom and a step mom and now a grandmother, I know how important that can be. Physical custody matters, but so does emotional and mental support of the kids. If Ms. Spears gets her shit together, she'll find kids remarkably forgiving. The tabloid nature of this whole thing to my mind has hurt everyone involved, but that's hollywood I guess. Very sad.

[gollygee]

9. I agree that she doesn't seem fit

It's a very sad situation and is not an example of a typical custody dispute.

[bliss_eternal]

12. I'm a little confused...

I've read this entire thread, and I'm not sure where you are getting the idea that anyone here has defended Spears abusing her children. Where did you see that? :shrug:

As I stated in the op, I brought this issue here as I was interested in discussing how frequent this sort of custody decision is made, and also (of course) people's thoughts and opinions of the issue are welcome as well. :)

To be honest, I avoid most celebrity information. The fact that so much of their personal info. is public knowledge disturbs me. I think about how I would feel if that much of my life were public knowledge. :scared: So I try not to consume it and contribute to that cycle. (I'm human, so sometimes I "see it" anyway. :eyes:) So, no--I don't know any details about Spears parenting. I take you at your word. But I believe I can be sad to see her children go to someone I (assume/think) is kinda' creepy without that somehow equating to "defending abuse." Separate issues in my opinion.

I would sincerely hope others here would know enough about the kinds of issues I post about, defend and rail against that I'm not "pro-abuse" on any level.

[Chovexani]

10. Talk about a Solomonic dilemma

Either way these kids are going to lose.

[bliss_eternal]

13. Archived thread from GD...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=1691403

I don't see many people commenting on actual "parenting"--just the way she looks in this picture. :(