Here's a big "Thank You" to all of you for the good advice and support.

[tango-tee]

I've been so fortunate. I enjoyed great health for most of the 58 years I've been on this earth, and only during the past eight months or so my body has shown me that a pain free life can't be taken for granted. Suddenly I *feel* my body with all its twinges, creaks, stiffness and limitations.

Within less than a year, I've developed RA, rosacea, flat feet (!!) and now find I have a loose tooth. Seems the old bod' is covering all the bases.

My dad died of colon cancer five years ago, my mom is now in her 27th year of paralysis from a stroke (we take care of Mom at home), and my husband's right leg was amputated a year ago, and my sister is unemployed with little hope for a job in the future. These are people dear to my heart who depend on my help and support. I have a full-time job and am no longer a spring chicken, so at times I find myself bristling at my body's new developments.

Despite it all, whenever I get ready to throw my own little pity party, I remind myself of the many people who have suffered from painful and often debilitating illnesses from an early age. And then I know how fortunate I am. And that it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself.

To all of you dear DU friends: :grouphug:

[Altoid_Cyclist]

1. It's easier to say than do, but be sure to allow yourself some "me" time when you need to.

You have a lot of things going on in your life and it is alright to get down and feel sorry for yourself sometimes.

The care givers are prone to wearing themselves out physically and emotionally when they have so many other people on their mind.

Please allow yourself the time to "recharge" your inner energy source for your own well being. It's not being selfish or uncaring, sometimes it's the best thing that you can do for all involved.

Good luck with everything.

One story from my past that always serves to remind me that there are people worse off than I.

In 2002 (before my health went completely to hell, I was signed up to do the local MS 150 bicycle ride. Two days before the ride, I received an injection in my lower back for what the Dr.'s thought was a bad lower back. They wouldn't listen to me when I tried to say that it was actually coming from a neck and brain injury. Anyway, I digress.

The injection missed the intended target and nailed the nerve instead of the space beside the nerve. I was in so much pain that I didn't know if I would still be able to do the ride. I figured that I'd try the first day and take it from there. About 10 miles into the ride, I noticed a woman standing at the side of the road. The other riders were too intent on turning the charity ride into a race and just rode right past her.

I almost came to a stop so that I could see what she wanted. She asked if I was in the MS ride and I replied that I was. She almost had tears in her eyes as she thanked me for doing the ride. She actually had MS.

At that point I decided that there was no way that I wouldn't finish the 150 miles. I was almost in tears from the pain on the second day, but I just kept picturing her and her emotional thank you to me. I think about her whenever I am having a bad day and as you said, I remind myself that there are people worse off than I.

:grouphug:

[tango-tee]

2. Thank you so much for your post!

A few minutes ago I got off the phone after talking with a dear friend, a DUer, who also lives in Germany. For months, she has been in great pain after a car accident which killed her husband and which injured her seriously. Whenever I talk to her I think of how difficult it must be to live in a foreign country, to have lost one's spouse, and to suffer physically and emotionally.

And that's when things fall into place for me. I know exactly what you mean, my friend!

[mopinko]

3. best of luck to you. you are carrying a heavy load there.

hope that you get the best of treatment. what are they doing for you?

[tango-tee]

4. I appreciate your kind words, mopinko!

All I'm on is a combined anti-inflammation / pain relief medication (called Diclofenac over here, but I have no idea what the brand name is in the U.S.), which I was supposed to take twice daily. After the first three hellish months the pain subsided quite a bit and I found that once a day is enough to keep the pain in check, and doc is okay with this reduced dosis.

I take a multivitamin pill made especially for RA patients (with extra vitamin E, calcium and fish oil) and try to make time just for *me* in the evenings to reflect and relax, smooch with the cat, check out DU, read, and try to get as much sleep as possible.

What this bout with illness has taught me is to not take things for granted. There's still some pain but it's in the background and it's not nearly as debilitating as it was during winter, when I couldn't even turn a key in the lock, hold my toothbrush or use a knife to spread butter on a piece of toast.

Thanks for caring!

[mopinko]

5. i take that drug sometimes

arthrotec is the proprietary name. it is pretty good. i know some people who are taking embrel, which is helping them a lot. i am very curious how this drug is working. it is a whole different thing from the anti-inflammatory thing. that i sort of why i asked. wondering if it is being used in other countries.

anyway, take care. of yourself!