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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-05-07 10:29 PM
Original message
I need some advice. Pull up a chair. Coffee maker is on the counter and it's a fresh pot.
She took an overdose on Friday night. Don't know of what. She is living at home with Dad while Easter Seals gets her squared away with programatic helps. Dad has a drinking problem of his own, gets her to drink with him and then gives her quite the ration. So she took an overdose of something and then, in a few minutes, called 911. Thank God.

They have her on Abilify, some anti-convulsant for Bipolar, Lamictal and one other. I would say that now, she will get far more effective help. She gets out of the local mental health unit tomorrow.

What can I do? What should I do? Where should I draw the line? I especially want to hear from the pros and those with more training than me.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 01:54 AM
Response to Original message
1. What is your relationship with her?
I'm no pro, but I think what you should do hinges on that question. If she's a friend, maybe you could just ask her if she needs a hand with anything, but don't let yourself be walked on.
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 09:02 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Just a friend.
Someone who has reached out to her to help. She's 29, I'm 54. Far too large a gap and trying to help her while trying to boink her is a terrible ethical lapse.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 02:03 AM
Response to Original message
2. How long has it been? It takes at least two weeks for those meds
to really kick in. In the meantime, she will be vulnerable.

Where do you see the line right now?

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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 09:05 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. The line?
Well, I see my role in this as being a strong advocate, yet artful, for her maintaining her linkages to Easter Seals and establishing strong and enduring linkages to substance abuse counseling. Also, just being there.

After all, without the job and the infrastructure that comes with it as a counselor, how much more can I do?
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 10:26 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Even with, for that matter. Will she be staying with you
this time?
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. No.
She hasn't broached the subject, and I have lease restrictions.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. It's too bad that supportive housing got killed.
My mom used to do 12 stepping in the seventies and I remember there were lots of halfway houses in this area where people could stay after they were discharged. When I went to look for one in the 90s, they had all but disappeared. :mad:
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Larissa238 Donating Member (373 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 11:20 AM
Response to Original message
8. Try and warn her of the danger of mixing alcohol with meds
Edited on Thu Sep-06-07 11:21 AM by Larissa238
It's bad enough that alcohol is a depressant, but mixing it with meds can really mess people up. Maybe don't tell her it will kill (because of the suicide risk) but warn her it can mess up her liver and it will be painful.

If she is having problems remembering to take her meds, maybe find her a pill case with the days of the week on it. I have one like this:

and it has done me wonders to make sure I take my pills because I can see if I have taken them or not. If you just take them straight from the bottle, you can forget if you took your pills that day or not, and that can lead to missed doses or overdoses.

Try and be there as much as you can (as much time, and more importantly, how much of your energy you can give) to let her know that you care about her. But don't let her pull you into her world. I know for me, I like to talk when I'm down, it helps me process. Other people like to be alone. It just depends on what works for her. But don't let it consume you. Don't spend so much time helping her that you neglect yourself. Also, if you are being emotionally supportive of her, make sure you have someone who you can support you. If you just give and give and give, you will have nothing left, so make sure you have someone who you can get care from (it works best if it's a mutual relationship, but I'm pretty sure she can't give at this point). I can't stress it enough - make sure you take care of yourself as well. I had a friend who would just take, take, take and I had nobody to help me, so it made me crash as well.

When you start going down emotionally, that's when you should start stepping back. If you are going down fast, tell her that you need to take care of yourself. It might be selfish, but it's better to have one of you doing okay than both of you doing crappy.

*edited to fix picture*
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 11:31 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. I consistently argue against...
ETOH abuse, albeit gently, using my experiences as an example. I also try to gently explain that the neurochemical effects of her shearing brain injury(which are documented) make ETOH abuse a really bad idea, especially when it comes to L-Dopa, which is one of the biggest causes of Bipolar 1, which she struggles with as a result of the injury.

Alas, as with so many, she just wants to be "normal"(whatever that is...) and the meds are a constant and daily reminder that she is not "normal". Also, she comes from a family with a strong Irish provenance, including the one that institutionalizes ETOH as a one-size-fits-all solution for everything.

Add to that one shitty self-image and there is a lot of work to do.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 01:37 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. What other resources does she have at her disposal right now?
Who is the "team"? Having a good grip on that could be helpful during this transitional period.
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-06-07 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. The team, as it stands now..
Is two Easter Seals counselors and, I expect, more intensive involvement on the part of a Psych and psychologist. Also, Easter Seals has been working on linkages to programs and benefits that are appropriate.

Note: I have full confidence in the Easter Seals women. They do God's work over there. Incredibly effective. That said, they will not talk to me. I guess she did not sign a release form with my name on it, which is, I suppose, also quite appropriate. Need-to-know and all that. Fair enough.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-07-07 07:20 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. That's good to know. I've never heard of this program.
I didn't know Easter Seals did that.
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-07-07 07:38 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Sure do.
They have ICMS, Homeless and other programs all over the nation.

Keep them in mind as a place to drop a CV, when you get your Masters. They loves them some Masters. They pay them well and have a great benefits package.
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mopinko Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-07-07 11:34 AM
Response to Original message
13. just the school of hard knocks here,
sometimes you gotta take it easy on yourself. maybe that is just my current situation talking. but i can see the ripples in the shit river from where i am sitting. it is easy to loose your paddle. keep your grip, friend.
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-07-07 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Don't worry.
I *DO* know the pitfalls. I guess you could say that, in a way, I am mentoring her and I just want to be more effective at it.

When I was peer counseling, I always asked the other counselors on the team if I had any question and god love 'em, they always gave me great advice.

I guess you guys are my team now. ;-)
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