We're DOOMED!

[Submariner]

These are the types of jokes we will have to put up with sooner or later.


1.- There were two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park.

He was a widower and she a widow.

They had known one another for a number of years.

One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.

The two were at the same table, across from one another.

As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will."

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"

He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall.

Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.

Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.

As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."

Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."



2.- A little old lady is sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates.

A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I used to live here years ago."

"So, where were you all these years?"

"In prison," he says.

"For what did they put you in prison?"

He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife."

"Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."



3.- A little old man shuffled slowly into the "Orange Dipper",

an ice cream parlor, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

" No," he replied, "arthritis



4.- Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor at Health Care America to get a physical.

A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"

[livetohike]

1. Good ones! I think I'm almost there now

:-)