Advice please

[frogmarch]

My sister and her husband recently died, and now the sister of a now-dead longtime friend of my sister’s has snail-mailed me a card to notify me that she bought two Gideon bibles in their names. These will be placed in hotel rooms, I suppose, or wherever Gideon bibles are placed.

My sister and her husband were not religious. They didn’t attend church and never spoke of religion, except to make fun of fundies and other religious wackos. I don’t know if they were atheists or agnostics, but they certainly weren’t devout followers of any religion.

How do I reply to this sister of my sister’s dead friend? Should I mail her a card or note to thank her for her thoughtfulness? She’s emailed me several times to express her sorrow over the deaths of my sister and brother-in-law, and her emails are full of Jesus/God crap. I don’t want to continue corresponding with her (I responded to only her first email and avoided saying anything about religion), but I don’t want to be rude either. She knew my sister for almost as long as I did, and she also knew my brother-in-law quite well, and she’s genuinely grieving over their deaths.

[laconicsax]

1. Thanking her for her thoughtfulness would be fine.

I have relatives who would consider what your sister's friend did a good start. For people like this, it's all about their beliefs and most times, anything beyond avoiding the issue is taken as an affront.

[frogmarch]

2. Thanks. Now I'll

start to work writing a note to thank her for her thoughtfulness, while at the same time avoiding the topic of religion. I feel like a hypocrite, but I don't want to offend her. She means well. If, after a couple of months, she keeps sending me religious crap, I think I'll have to politely ask her not to, and explain why.

[laconicsax]

3. It's a tricky situation.

I just take the position that whenever I have to interact with my fundie relatives, and nod in agreement to avoid pissing them off, I'm really saying, "yes, you do believe that."

[frogmarch]

4. Haha! That's good!

From now on whenever I'm forced to nod in agreement to keep peace, I'll really be saying the same thing you do - "yes, you do believe that."

Love it. Thanks.

[sudopod]

7. You love them more than their silly beliefs anger you.

that's a good thing! ;)

[frogmarch]

9. She and her family

were my family's first American friends. Right after WWII there were quite a few people in the town we settled in who wanted nothing to do with a family who had an adopted Japanese baby (she's my only living sibling now), but this woman and her parents and siblings would have none of that attitude, and our families became good friends. I don't recall any of her family being gung ho about religion, so maybe it's something she caught later, after we lost touch as adults.

[truebrit71]

12. I agree..no need to rock the boat...

...now if that leds them to believe that YOU are a believer, that is when you would need to disabuse them of that notion...

[onager]

5. Yep, probably a Standard Bread-n-Butter Note will do...

Unless you want to send her two copies of God Is Not Great and ask her to put those alongside the Gibbering Buy-bulls. :evilgrin:

[laconicsax]

6. For some reason, when I read your comment here, I suddenly remembered...

I was playing a gig subbing in the "worship band" at a fundy, televangelist-style church about five or six years ago, and among other terrifying and hilarious things, they played a video from the president of the Gideons group in which he begged for money solicited donations.

It's been long enough that I don't recall the exact quote, but it was basically, "just five dollars will let us buy one Bible, so $50 will give us ten Bibles, and $100 will let us buy...[long, awkward pause] twe...one...Twenty Bibles!"

Since I was contracted to play both morning services, I got to stifle my laughter twice.

[onager]

10. Best name ever for a media evangelist...

Alistair Begg

:rofl:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alistair_Begg

He's a Scot who still has a strong Glasgow accent, despite living in the USA for over thirty years. I'm sure that helps him collect the $$$. Anything that can set you apart in the marketplace, as they say on Madison Ave. ...

I heard Begg just this morning, bloviating on "THE pivotal event in world history!!1!" And that would be...the crucifixion of what's-his-name.

:wtf:

Without the aggressive marketing years after the fact, and a certain emperor's mistaken belief that he could "unify" an empire behind one of the most divisive, hair-splitting, fractious cults ever unleashed...nobody would have ever heard of that event.

It would be a forgotten historical footnote - just like the death of the "Samaritan Messiah" described in Flavius Josephus. And unlike that wuss Jesus, the S.M. really did lead an armed revolt against the Romans.

(On edit - maybe SECOND-best name for an evangelist. That prize may have to go to William Money, a holy hustler who showed up in Los Angeles around 1857.)

[frogmarch]

8. It's tempting. I wish you

hadn't suggested it, because now I'm torn.

[Warpy]

11. "Thank you for thinking of them"

is the classy way to respond, I think.

After all, they're not around to be offended by it and probably wouldn't be, since they knew their friend was a true believer.

I tend to pick my battles carefully and this wouldn't be one of them.