I’m Sorry to Hear That You’re Having Difficulty

[RoyGBiv]

This is brilliant ...

http://progressiveboink.com/index.php/archive/im-sorry-to-hear-that-youre-having-difficulty/

And this part of it is so fundamentally true it's the kind of thing that would have roused the Church's ire in the Middle Ages and resulted in a wave of accusations of practicing witchcraft against those who repeated it.

A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE CABLE INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER EXPERIENCE

Shut up. You do not need a new modem. Shut up. Modems do not break. A new modem will not solve your problem. Shut up shut up shut up.

ISP webmail is often unreliable. Never use it for anything important. It's really easy for a phone technician to accidentally and permanently delete your e-mail address and all your messages with it. If this happens, the ISP will compensate you by saying, "whelp, sorry!"

Some field technicians are known internally as "ninja techs." If a repair appointment is scheduled for you and you happen to draw one of these "ninja techs," they will attempt to sneak to your door without knocking, place a "Sorry I Missed You" note on the door, and run like Hell. If you absolutely have to have your Internet service back, stare motionless out of a front window for eight to ten hours and await the technician's arrival.

If a phone technician offers you a repair appointment and tells you that you don't have to be there for the appointment, do not believe him or her.

Just as in any field, over-the-phone Internet support technicians vary in quality. Some are inexperienced, some are lazy, most are competent, and some are great. There's a chance you might get a bad one. That said, do not try to bullshit one of them. Depending on who you get, you might be able to trick one of them into setting up a repair appointment for you, but chances are that you'll be left waiting around for something that won't fix your problem.

And that being said, if you really want to bullshit a technician, tell him or her that your cable TV is completely out along with your Internet. Your appointment will probably be bumped up.

[Paper Roses]

1. You mean I don't need to throw away the modem that Comcast

told me was bad? Of course, there is never--according to Comcast--anything wrong in my area, service is never a problem.

OK, I can buy a new modem from you, is that right?
Bad news, Comcast, I have an extra one that I will use.

Is it true that they never go bad? I guess I'll save the old one for future use when they tell me it is my modem again. Just reconnect the old one. No unnecessary service call or cost.

Can you tell that Comcast is not a company I would choose if I had a choice?

[RoyGBiv]

2. Oh, they *can* go bad ...

But, consider that there are no moving parts, no tubes, and no elements that heat up to ultra-high temperatures. They could theoretically last decades.

Typically, if one is bad, it was bad from the moment it left manufacturing. It might even seem to work for awhile, but it won't for long because of some defect in fabrication. Or, you can get one that has less tolerance for "noise" on the line. The real problem here is the noise itself, but sometimes a new modem will appear to fix it ... for awhile. You get this same issue with cable boxes.

My original cable modem, which I bought in 1999, still works. It's just outdated and is not compatible with the modern network.

That little snippet refers to the assumption many customers make when things are wrong that it must be the modem. They'll demand a new modem in fact ... plop themselves down right in front of you and refuse to leave until you give them one. (I worked in cable for several years.) Eventually, you give them one. Never, not in any case, did I see this work. Everyone I encountered who felt they needed a new modem and got one was back with the same issue almost immediately, most claiming I must have given them an "old" one.

Got a secret for ya. Those modems they give away? They're all old.

Problem is, service techs are all salesmen now and aren't trained as well in actual service. Often they'll default to the "here's a new modem" bit also.

And, yes, Comcast is the devil. Comcast is the company all the other companies point to when they're having complaints and think to themselves, Well, at least we're not Comcast.

[Statistical]

4. I actually had a cable modem go bad.

Just gave up the ghost one day, however it is very very rare.

BTW: you can't just "hook up your old modem" it needs to be provisioned. So you still need to call Comcast (your provide them MAC address of label on modem, they add it to your account so cable network accepts it as valid). The good news is can be done over the phone and in real time.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

3. the appointment windows they give are a joke

and requiring you to be there for service that will only need to take place outside the home is a joke as well. In a recent dust-up with Comcast, after two missed 'windows' (their techs didn't show) where I really didn't NEED to be there, I told them 'get it fixed in 24 hours or discontinue my service.' I got a call the next day asking me what 4 hour window I would like to schedule my appt...the only times available were three days out...

I am no longer a Comcast customer...

sP

[Warpy]

5. I remember one DSL modem failure particularly fondly

The phone tech insisted on doing the whole song and dance before she'd transfer me to the appropriate person to order a new modem.

Honestly, I thought the description of the unit with a tiny curl of smoke coming out of it and the stink of burned plastic in the air should have convinced her it was not going to respond to unplugging and replugging, rebooting the computer, resetting "network neighborhood" and doing all the other stuff.

Unfortunately, they're all used to dealing with really, really stupid people, and I do understand protocols.

However, common sense needs to intrude once in a while so we know they're still alive.

[Duer 157099]

6. This is funny. I had a Comcast tech show up the other day

out of the blue, left the thingy on my front door saying something like... well, I couldn't really understand what it said or meant, so I called Comcast to see what they knew.

Of course, I got into the phone loop where there was no button for what I was asking about "why did this service tech come to my house and leave this note and what does it mean?" so after a few futile attempts to get a live person, I started over and my first choice was "I want to disconnect my service" and what do you know, I got a live person immediately! LOL, I was laughing and told the poor guy that I really didn't want to disconnect but I knew that would be the only way to get a human being on the phone.

And he, even though he was in billing, happened to understand the technical jargon enough to explain what the service guy wrote.

Long story short, the next day another guy came out and ran me a whole new wire (even though I wasn't having problems, but apprarently there was a "leak" somewhere on my current line. Yes, I was leaking internet. Didn't even know that was possible, but there ya go.