Scandal Rocks Homeopathy Community

[MineralMan]

www.youresickerthanyouthinkyouare.net

Research Reveals Hidden Deadly Ingredient in Homeopathic Remedies

Sedona, AZ (6/4/10) Researchers at the elite Natural Healthity Center revealed shocking news this morning in a hastily-called press conference. Spokesperson, Feather Pilo, revealed the results of a long-term, 6-day, peer-reviewed, really, really serious study, undertaken by the Center. "When our researchers, all of whom have advanced degrees from the Kellogg Institute of Government-Banned Cures, discovered the ingredient in all pelletized forms of homeopathic remedies, we decided to call this press conference to announce their findings. In every sample tested, the dread High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) was discovered to be a principal component making up the small, white, seemingly-inoffensive pellets. No other ingredients, in fact were found."

Penny Farthing, director of the research team, said, "As we expected, there were no molecules of the active principle in the pellets. But there were massive quantities of HFCS in every sample we tested." Spokesperson Pilow said that a call is going out to all people using homeopathic remedies in pelletized form to stop using these remedies immediately and switch to aqueous solutions instead. "Not only is there no HFCS in aqueous solutions, those solutions also contain no molecules of the active principle, either. Thus, they are most efficacious and will have the expected result," Feather Pilo said.

A complete report on this study will appear in the July, 2010 issue of The Peer-Reviewed Official Journal of Real Bona-Fide Scientific Stuff about Alternative Medicine," published by the Kellogg Institute of Government-Banned Cures. The OROJRBFSSAM can be obtained at health food stores, leading wellness centers, and everywhere the real truth about Big Pharma is exposed.

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[Chulanowa]

1. Now that's funny as hell

Thanks for that

[nichomachus]

2. Then I definitely don't think those homeopathicals should be allowed to get married

[MineralMan]

4. Now, now. Any two people who are in love with each other should

be able to marry. That's not very progressive of you. Truly it is not. If homeopaths can't marry, then nobody should marry.

[Ian David]

7. Homeopaths get pregnant by douching with distilled water. n/t

[MineralMan]

11. Yes, but did you know that there could easily be the memory

of a molecule of Cleopatra's urine in that distilled water. Water NEVER forgets!

[FarrenH]

8. I don't think its a sin to be a homeopath

just to do homeopathy. God gives each of us our crosses to bear.

[MineralMan]

10. Ah, but homeopathy is a gateway treatment.

It inevitably leads to stronger treatments like moxibustion or even crystal healing in the worst cases. It must be nipped in the bud...then diluted at least 800 times. Think of the children!

Don't end up like this:

[damntexdem]

14. Yeah, heteropaths are just way too straight.

Straight and narrow, too.

[Ian David]

3. Unfortunately, the aqueous solutions are all contaminated with dihydrogen monoxide.

Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)
What is Dihydrogen Monoxide?
Dihydrogen Monoxide:
The dangers, uses and potential threats posed by this chemical, Dihydrogen Monoxide, are widespread, and some feel, terrifying. Here is just a small taste of what Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is:

* Some call Dihydrogen Monoxide the "Invisible Killer"
* Others think dihydrogen monoxide should be Banned
* Dihydrogen Monoxide is linked to gun violence
* Dihydrogen monoxide was found at every recent school shooting
* Athletes use DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE, or DHMO, to enhance performance
* Dihydrogen Monoxide has been found in our rivers, lakes, oceans and streams
* Dihydrogen Monoxide is a major component of acid rain
* Thousands die each year after inhaling dihydrogen monoxide
* Dihydrogen Monoxide can be deadly
* Find out the truth about Dihydrogen Monoxide

More:
http://www.dhmo.org/

[MineralMan]

5. Well, there's something in what you say, I suppose.

I'll wait for the peer-reviewed study from the Kellogg Institute, though, on that one.

[leftofcool]

9. Not if you make your own.

Ir's cheaper too

[Ian David]

12. I pay for my homeopathic medicine by using homeopathic money.

I put my cable bill in a blender with some water, and then dilute the mixture about 10x.

[leftofcool]

13. LMAO!

I usually do that with my electric bill and some good old Kentucky bourbon.

[JoeyT]

26. I've always joked I was going to go into a homeopathy clinic and when

they were finished waving their wands and giving me my bottle of water I was going to try to pay with a 55 gallon drum of water that I'd tossed half a penny in. Just to see how long it would take them to call the cops.

[Ian David]

28. You have to dissolve the OPPOSITE of money in water to make homeopathic money.

A penny dissolved in water will cause poverty.

[old mark]

6. Homeopathics - this has to do with "Don't Ask - Don't Tell", right? nt

[HuckleB]

15. The Scandal Grows!

Mercury in High Fructose Corn Syrup
http://www.arizonahomeopathic.org/integrative-medicine/mercury-in-high-fructose-corn-syrup/

[MineralMan]

20. I read that this afternoon. I thought about starting another thread,

but what's the fun in posting truth when there is satire to write?

[mzmolly]

16. I K and R'd before I realized this was satire.

;) Oops. Alerting with a suggestion to send to the lounge however.

[MineralMan]

21. Ah, success. Satire only works if some people don't recognize

that it's satire. Congratulations! You're the first.

[HuckleB]

22. It's GREAT satire.

But I've got to tell you: A lot more people are fooled by the satire posted at Age of Autism. You're going to have work hard to top those folks!

[mzmolly]

23. I recognized it was satire, thus my post to this effect. However, I rec'd based upon the faux

headline alone, along with the fact that your satire is in the "health" forum.

[EvolveOrConvolve]

17. Ha! That's hilarious

But I agree that it belongs in the Lounge.

[GoneOffShore]

18. It should stay here.

Because it's so right.

[MineralMan]

19. No. It's a Health issue.

If people can tout homeopathy in the Health forum, satire about the subject also belongs here.

[HuckleB]

25. +1

[HuckleB]

24. Why?

DU lets Age of Autism links stay on this forum, and they're nothing but satire.

[xchrom]

27. i'm taking my high fructose corn syrup pill while i read this thread. nt