Ten basic truths of the fight for equal marriage rights for gay couples

[Spryboy]

We need to be working harder at the grass roots level to be spreading the truth about what the fight for "gay marriage" really is and really means... to educate people on this subject, and to inoculate people against the lies, smears, and fear-mongering that already exists, and the flood that is yet to come:

1. We're not asking for 'special rights'. We just want the same rights as every other American Citizen has. If anything, marriage is currently a "special right" of heterosexuals, and like you say, "special rights" aren't fair.
   


2. This has nothing to do with religion. We aren't asking for any changes from the church at all. We just want to be able to go to City Hall and get a marriage license, like anyone else can. Just because The State approves of a marriage, doesn't mean any church has to support or perform the marriage. Many churches will not marry interfaith couples, requiring anyone getting married in their church to convert to the church before marriage. This is fine. Churches can set their own rules. It has nothing to do with the state.
   


3. Gay people do NOT already have these rights, and civil unions or domestic partnerships do not provide equal rights and responsibilities under the law. Separate is not equal.
   


4. This isn't redefining marriage for any heterosexual. It doesn't affect any straight person's marriage, or definition thereof, in any way.
   


5. Marriage is constantly being redefined by straight people already. Marriage never used to be about love, now it is. Divorce never used to be allowed; now it is. People of mixed race used to be unable to get married; now they can. It goes on and on. Marriage has never been this pure, static, unchanging thing.
   


6. Marriage isn't solely about religion. Atheists can and do get married all the time.
   


7. Marriage isn't solely about children. Elderly people passed the child-bearing years, men who have had vasectomies, women who have had their tubes tied or who have had hysterectomies, as well as couples who have no interest in having children, all get married all the time.
   


8. If you don't "believe" that gays should get married, that is your opinion and you're entitled to it... however, your opinion should not be enshrined in the secular legal system as a law, forced upon everyone. It is wrong to legislate opinions.
   


9. Many, many churches actually support same-sex unions, and some have performed them for decades. This is about religious freedom. Just because YOUR religion doesn't like it, doesn't mean your religion should trump every other in terms of what is legal under secular law. Unitarians, the United Church of Christ, the Reform Jewish Synagogue, and Liberal Quakers all perform same-sex marriage ceremonies, as do many other individual churches within broader religious sects (Methodists, Episcopalians, and others). Why should marriages performed by those churches be "less real" in the eyes of the law than those performed by, say, the Mormon church or the Church of Scientology?
   


10. This is simply about equal civil rights for all Americans. Gay marriage will eventually pass. Our country has always moved forward, expanding civil rights for all Americans and struggling towards being that more perfect union. History is on the side of gay marriage. It will happen. It's sad that our country is not leading on this issue though, and that we're so far behind countries like the Netherlands, Spain, Canada, and South Africa. All these countries have legal and full marriage (and more are being added to the list all the time), and there simply hasn't been any negative effects in these countries. This country should be leading and championing equal rights for oppressed minorities. It's a shame we're being held back by irrational fear and ignorant bigotry.
    

[terrya]

1. Fantastic post and let me be the first to recommend this.

This is as good a synopsis for same-sex marriage as I've read anywhere.

Thank you for posting and welcome to DU.

[Spryboy]

11. Thanks!

Thanks, terrya

[T Wolf]

2. Great post and summation. If it would do any good, I would send it to my fundie in-laws. But...

"gawd blesses" their hatred and bigotry.

Their kind of sickness will not disappear until enough of them die off. That cannot happen soon enough.

[HillbillyBob]

3. Thank You for posting this.

I have been out for many years and some of these are what I use to educate folks.

[yardwork]

4. Excellent. Thank you for posting this.

[unblock]

5. i can summarize in 1 basic truth:

opposition to marriage for homosexuals boils down to simple bigotry and is nothing more that something nasty the bigots feel they can do toward homosexuals.

the bigots wish that homosexuals didn't exist and want to punish them any way they can get away with. they use the flimsiest logic because it's not about logic. it's about what they can get away with. if they could exile them, they would. if they could put them in jail, they would. if they could keep them from working, they would.

heterosexuals have nothing to gain from keeping homosexuals single. WAIT!!! maybe they do! could it be that those who protest the loudest secretly want to ensure themselves a large pool of available homosexuals??? HMMMM....

[bluedawg12]

6. Well said! Thank you for this.

[sonias]

7. k&r for truth

Well said.

:applause:


Sonia

[Spryboy]

8. Thanks!

Thanks for the K&R! A couple of dozen more and this might hit the front page ;-)

I really think that a lot of the problem (especially with Prop 8) was just fear and ignorance. The way to dispel those fears and that ignorance is through education and truth. People were afraid their minister or priest would be arrested if they didn't perform gay marriages. That isn't true. People were really worried that churches would be affected dramatically. That isn't true.

I encourage everyone to spread the list around as much as possible. Post it on blogs, in replies, anywhere the context is appropriate, and a few places it's not.

The more people really understand, the more support there is for equal rights.

[sftwrngnr]

9. The unfortunate reality

Is that the shrill voices of the hypocritical holier than thou individuals who attempt to eschew any sort of actual basis for their arguments will manage to continue to throw money and distort the facts on this issue. I'm straight, I'm married... does the fact that a homosexual couple wants to get married in any way affect my marriage? That would be a "No." However, let me say this: I have seen, first hand, the absolute heart wrenching situation that happens when a couple who's been together for a long time has their partner suddenly pass away. What happens? In the case I saw, the very family who had ostracized their family member for being gay, swooped in, took his house, all of his belonging, leaving his partner with absolutely NOTHING. Nothing to show for a 20 year relationship. Is that fair? Is that right? Why shouldn't a couple, who happens to be gay have the very same rights as a straight couple? I know, I know, because somehow or another their being married impacts a heterosexual couples marriage? In which version of reality is this the case?

And yet... we have a church, empowered by sheep-like individuals and their propensity to breed and donate money, in a position to basically buy legislation. The bought the legislation, not by any actual fact, and in the case of Arizona, when the first ballot measure didn't pass, they reworded it so that a new (better funded) ballot measure did pass.

[Spryboy]

10. All the more reason to educate...

All you say is true, but this is just all the more reason to educate.

People fear what they do not understand. Repeating the truth, over and over, helps. It really does.

Too many of us just assume people know the truth, or assume that it's obvious, or assume that someone else will speak the truth.

We all need to speak the truth, all the time, and remind everyone, all the time, of the reality. It is only through this that the lies and the fears will lose their hold on people.

The simple truth is this: The supporters of gay marriage are on the right side of history, and those that oppose it are on the wrong side. It is only a matter of time.

It's also vitally important for straight, married people like you to speak out, loudly and often, because you can't be accused of self-interested bias and therefore cannot be as easily "dismissed" as when gay people themselves try to speak out. Sad but true.