My gaydar needs repair

[dsc]

I was sitting next to this guy at our school's opening meeting today and I was sure he was gay. Not totally sure, but mostly sure. Then he mentions his girlfriend. This is the second time in less than a month I was fooled this way. So is it getting harder to tell or do I need a gaydar overhaul? I was never perfect but I was better than this.

[madeline_con]

1. What happened to the "You can't tell by appearances" meme? n/t

[dsc]

4. In both cases it was more than appearences

it was where they lived, age, marital status, etc. Admittedly in the first case I was way off on age which helped me be wrong. Today I was surer of but still wrong.

[madeline_con]

5. Wouldn't marital status be irrelevant? n/t

[dsc]

6. not really

I am not saying all single people who are say 30 are gay but it does make it more likely if you add that to other evidence.

[Lucky 13]

11. To me it's not just about appearances.

It's a vibe or an energy. Subtle mannerisms. etc.

Gaydar exists with varying levels of success!

[tekisui]

2. Us straighties are getting more comfortable with ourselves.

:P

[Avalux]

3. He might just be confused.

I work with a young man who has a girlfriend and is contemplating marriage; he definitely needs to work out some stuff. He reminds me a lot of my ex-husband who was completely clueless when we got married and a few years later decided he wanted to be with men.

Your gaydar is probably just fine. ;-)

[Warpy]

7. Your gaydar could be operating well

but you've met a couple of guys who haven't yet been able to come to terms with who they really are. Sometimes it takes a very long time. Sometimes it never happens and the girlfriend/wife goes through life wondering what's wrong with her.

We still live in that kind of world, you know.

[Fearless]

8. I love how people automatically assume...

That this person must be gay and confused. Maybe they are maybe they're not. Who are we to judge. People have to live their own lives. In my day I've made my mistakes too and we must all take ours at face value otherwise we belittle our legitimacy as a group. Let me ask this of non-believers... Have you ever been mistaken for straight? Maybe yes, maybe no. It doesn't change a thing to speculate.

[Beregond2]

9. Speaking as a gay man,

I think gaydar is a myth. For every time I have been correct, there have been ten when I wasn't. I think people tend to only remember their successful guesses, so they conclude they have a sense for it.

Last week the young man who was the desk clerk at my hotel seemed very clearly gay to me, with no experience yet. The friend I was with couldn't see it at all. Who knows who was right?

[DarkTirade]

10. Yeah, I have horrible gaydar.

And unfortunately my huge ego makes it so that I just assume everyone is checking me out, so I often miss it when someone actually is... :P

[swimmernsecretsea]

12. It's the metrosexuals, I tells ya! They're infecting our youth!

Next thing you know, they'll be saying "girlfriend," giving helpful but judgemental remarks on women's accessories, using the female pronoun on themselves in an ironic way, and co-opting snark! It's a menace, and it needs to be stopped!

We've got to hose them down from the stink of Hugo Boss cologne, rip those Kenneth Cole shoes and leather satchels off their bodies, and cage them until their manscaped bodies grow back their natural pelts of fur. Then, comes the deprogramming. Copies of Maxim will be thrown in those cages, past episodes of "Man Show" and "Jimmy Kimmel" are broadcast day and night until they stop whimpering, and electroshock treatments given while slides of shiny ties in "pumpkin" and "tangerine" are shown until they can't differentiate the colors.

We'll "Man" them up! Retore America to its former greatness, people! Make a clean signal for Gaydar to pick up!

[VaYallaDawg]

16. You just gave me the biggest, most needed laugh of the day!!!

Especially the natural pelts of fur!!! Thanks!

[swimmernsecretsea]

17. Yay! My work here is done.

I'll just gather my bag of fairy dust, my magic wand, and my Fendi clutch and run along. Ta!

[Arnold Judas Rimmer]

13. He mentioned a girlfriend, but did you actually see her?

Might it be possible that he's closeted? You said this was at a school meeting? If he's a teacher (or some other school employee) it's possible he might be afraid of being "out", due to what he thinks reaction might be from students, parents, faculty, school board, local religious zealots or all of the above.

[Zuiderelle]

22. That's what I was going to say. When I was much younger, I sometimes mentioned my boyfriend

when I meant my girlfriend (depending on the situation/audience). I fortunately grew out of that particular closet very quickly.

[dsc]

23. possible, you never know

Guess I can wait and see.

[Der Blaue Engel]

14. Have you considered the possibility that he's bi?

My boyfriend is. So's his girlfriend. :hi:

[swimmernsecretsea]

15. Thank you! nt

[closeupready]

18. What, did you all meet on the set of Shortbus or something?

:rofl: :hi:

[Der Blaue Engel]

24. Nah...it was based on us

:rofl:

[Chovexani]

19. I was just about to say that

Hey, wanna make out in this non-existent corner? :hide: :hug:

[Der Blaue Engel]

25. Any time

:evilgrin: :pals:

[BR_Parkway]

20. Maybe it's just overactive hormones - they tend to cloud the judgement

and add in a whole lot of "possibles" that never pan out.

[dsc]

21. true wishful thinking can cloud the thinking

That and stress lol.