Am I good enough to be first?

[dsc]

I am basicly, the first openly gay teacher at my (admittedly fairly new) school. Now I admit to asking, am I good enough to be first? Part of this is the typical cold feet. Part of it the tapes that run in my head. The tapes which tell that I have to have enough good to outweigh the potential bad. How do you deal with that 'first' element? I know this is a bit of a vanity post. Heck it is a ton of a vanity post but I guess I am wondering when the other shoe will drop. I know many of you have been there so I guess I am asking for wisdom and maybe a bit of a pep talk.

[lightningandsnow]

1. Don't worry. You're awesome.

This situation is totally different, but I was basically outed to most of my junior high school in grade 8. Essentially, I told one of my friends I thought I might be gay, and she told a lot of the school.

It was hard at first. Really hard. Plus, I was pretty much already a socially inept dork, so it didn't help. But once I was in high school it got a lot easier.

You seem to be very well liked - and you sound like a great teacher. So of course you're good enough to be first!

[dsc]

2. that must have been a nightmare

I was pretty much assumed to be gay back then but my god to be outed at what 13? Glad you made it out.

[mitchtv]

3. Just do your Job

You are a credit to teachers everywhere

[dsc]

4. thanks

I guess I just am having one of those moments where I doubt myself. It sometimes happens.

[Fearless]

5. I have to ask...

What could make you think that you are not good enough? And what's "good enough" anyways? Who gets to decide if you're good enough or not?

There's always going to be someone who thinks you're not good enough. But there will always be those who say you are too. Just be who you are and be honest to yourself. Life is a learning experience and no one can expect to succeed without stumbling a bit too. Be yourself and do your best; that's all any reasonable person can ask for. I'd be more worried if you thought that it would be a piece of cake. Worry shows that you care.

Good luck, and remember, you're never alone!

[dsc]

6. I think it is just insecurity speaking

more than anything else. I do think the first of anything is judged more harshly though.

[Fearless]

8. It's natural to feel insecure or even scared of new situations

The important thing is to recognize your own shortcomings and limits and to work on them so that you don't end up working for them. Don't underestimate yourself. You have experiences, I'm sure, that are invaluable to your students. If all you do is be there and be openly gay then you help to affect a change in the minds of your students. Maybe some of those whose parents have taught them that gay is wrong will see you and realize that gay people are good people too.

Then think of the positive impact a successful and happy openly gay person can have on a gay student who doesn't have someone in the very least to look to for example if not for advice. The teen suicide rate within the gay community is astronomical in comparison to the general population. Even just being there can help dent that statistic. Just doing your job, even taking no active role, shows that gay people (etc.) can be successful, and that they can live happy lives. I can't tell you to take an active role in your school, but I do know that growing up it would have been a great deal of help for me to help me understand the person that I was becoming.

I do know and I have to say that the most important thing is to be honest. Be honest with yourself and with your students. You don't have to have all the answers. If you don't know or understand something then be honest about that. There is support to be had in camaraderie. If you cannot help, at least let them know that you're all in it together and they aren't alone. You'd do well to know that too: You are not alone.

[qb]

7. A gay friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher...

My kids' principal is gay. They both do their jobs well, and nobody expects any more of them. Teach the kids. That's all you have to do, and I'm sure you're great at it.