A Gay Pride Parade For Bigots

[Behind the Aegis]

Cord Jefferson, writing for The Root, compares gay pride parades to the marches of the Civil Rights Movement:

Looking at King, however, you'd be forgiven for thinking he'd been picked up in the winter. As natty as a movie star in a gray wool suit and pressed white shirt, his eyes remain calm beneath the shade of a wide-brimmed fedora. It's a gentleman's outfit, similar to others he often wore to appear in public, and it must have been a horribly uncomfortable get-up on such a muggy day, not to mention in a dank prison cell.

Fast forward five decades to the civil rights movement currently at the forefront of American politics and minds: that of the LGBT community, which has been on a roller-coaster ride in recent weeks. There have been notable successes (marriage rights affirmed in six states) and surprising failures (the endurance of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy). This month, hundreds of thousands of men and women around the world will take to the streets to march for visibility and solidarity in gay pride parades. Much like Dr. King before them, the LGBT marchers ask simply for the basic rights granted other Americans--the right to work, the right to safety, the right to equality.

Unlike Dr. King, few of them will appear in suits.

...at the risk of sounding like a staid homophobe, I'm often left wondering where the pride part comes in.

more...

[msongs]

1. they aren't SUIT pride parades! doh! nt

[Hello_Kitty]

2. I love this passage in the post

The final insult to oppressed people, is always to make them responsible for the venal stupidity of their oppressors. The bigots core refrain is never "I hate you," but "Why are you making me hate you?" Left unsaid in all this is why, precisely, some guy in San Fran wearing a thong is so offensive. Instead it asks gay people everywhere to adjust. It's not enough to be hated by the homophobe, now you must wash his laundry too.

:applause:

[Behind the Aegis]

3. That was my fave too!

It is something which has been discussed quite often in this forum in the past few days.

[NMMNG]

4. Are we sure a certain person here didn't write this?

Knowing that there are people—voters who have the power to deny them rights—who will judge them based on the flamboyance of their appearance in one parade, why hasn't the gay community decided to tone down the pride festivals?


Oh puke. And I suppose if we all marched, men in suits and ties, women in dresses and heels, we'd all have 100% equality? My backside.

[Hello_Kitty]

5. When are all those straight people who act flamboyant at Mardi Gras going to 'tone it down'?

What a bullshit double standard to allow heteros to "throw their lifestyle in everyone's face" while acting like it's so out of line for LGBT people to do the same.

[hulklogan]

6. Or the drunk bachelorettes groping and kissing gay men at gay bars?

They're certainly setting the women's movement back, aren't they? :sarcasm:

[Hello_Kitty]

9. Hey! I resemble that remark!

;)

[keepCAblue]

19. Blaming gays for the bigotry held against them is tantamount...

...to blaming the victim. As in, "She was just asking to be raped, dressed like that!"

[Starry Messenger]

7. How come bicyclists don't have to defend having their civil rights?

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/407437_monica20.html

[NMMNG]

12. Oh my eyes!

How can they expect people to take them seriously when they dress that way? :sarcasm:

[imdjh]

8. I'm inclined to agree with him, but the dynamics are a bit different

The gay community is a representational subset of the nation, 70% white and either middle class or seeming that way due to the DINK factor. One can easily view the license of the Pride Parades as the privilege of middle class people, and then question just how oppressed middle class people can be. But if one looks back at MLK, who had a good income and comfortable station in life, then one would know that technically qualifying as a member of the middle class doesn't mean that you have all the rights and privileges of membership. I feel certain that Cord Jefferson, who graduated from William and Mary in 2004 and is all of 28 years old is an expert on black history. What he is isn't, is 50 years old and white, like me. I can assure him that what black civil rights marchers were wearing made ZERO difference in the perceptions of those white people who weren't ready, weren't supportive, or were actively opposed. Does he think that my parents and grandparents didn't know respectable black people? That virtually every white person didn't know respectable black people?

As for the detractors, they have already shown us what they will do. They will go to a Pride parade with their cameras, and walk right past thousands of average people in shorts and t-shirts to get to the pathetic, lewd, or outrageous person who will gladly pose for Peter Labarbera. Actually, Labarbera would bring his own if he couldn't find any. He spends more time in sex clubs than I ever have.

But here is the reason I would agree with him, and the only part of this post I will discuss:

When I was twelve years old, the Gay Pride Parade in New York was on the COVER of Life (or Time) magazine. I can't find that cover in Google images, but it was simply a line of people carrying the sign at the head of the parade and while colorful, they were consistent with the mod/pop look of the day. As a young gay man, nothing in that photo scared me. Nothing in that photo made me say to myself, "Oh God, I'm not like that!" or ask myself if I was on my way to become what would have seemed to me to be a freak. I saw affirmation. I saw gay people under a sign that said that they were gay people, I saw what I considered to be average people acting bravely. I wanted to be a part of that.

How many twelve years olds would look at some of the more extreme photos of Pride in SF and think, "Cool, those are my people."? For most I should think it would be like Groundhog Day, they would see those photos and go back in the closet for at least six more years. We're quick to say that the Religious Right and outspoken gay bashers feed the hate- but how much concern for the next generation of gay people are we showing when we feed the gay bashers?

If you disagree, then there probably isn't anything I can say that would change your mind.

[Hello_Kitty]

10. Couldn't the same be said about all the straight people acting silly at Mardi Gras?

Or any number of events that cater to the majority of people in various communities? How about those get-ups they wear at St. Patty's day parades? My dad was one of those fools who dressed in women's clothes and a pig's nose for Redskins games back in the 70s and 80s. Did my 12 year old self cringe at this? You betcha. Did I think it was a reflection on myself as a heterosexual person? Nope. Now, I realize that there's a difference because Mardi Gras and Redskins games are not identified as "straight pride" events, but still. Give the 12 year olds of today a little more credit for discernment.

[imdjh]

11. Mardi Gras is useful in the debate, with adults

Mardi Gras is certainly evidence that some straight people do outrageous things in public. So are the Mummer's Parade, and the nude road races, Burning Man, and that sort of thing.

The special circumstance of gay youth, more than any other I can think of as a group, is that they are raised by and large by people who do not belong to their group. These days, with the internet, there are many more ways for gay youth to connect with their culture, to learn their history, to look for role models. Even so, Pride season is the annual cultural event for gay people and the one that gay youth are like to hear commented on by their family, peers, and community. St Patrick's Day is a stereotype in play, but Irish American youth are raised in Irish American households where the pride of Irishness is often reinforced, and the Irish American community could be said to have arrived at least 48 years ago with the election of JFK. I have never seen black people modeling black stereotypes at MLK Parade.

[Hello_Kitty]

13. But I see plenty of straight people modeling stereotypes

Name me a "mainstream" event, including the MLK parade, that doesn't perpetuate traditional gender roles and heteronormative memes. Name me one. Take the Super Bowl. Women gyrate to music in skimpy attire while brawny men grunt and tackle each other, and yet no one says "OMG! This is making the heteros look really bad!"

My point is that gay people are no more a "culture" than straight people are. Every sexual orientation includes people from every ethnic and socio-economic group on the planet. I submit that gay men traipse around in thongs at the gay pride parades for the same reason that straight women traipse around in thongs at Mardi Gras. To capture the gaze of the horny males who hold all the power in their respective milieus. And I still think we should assume that the average 12 year old has the ability to figure that out.

[HillWilliam]

14. The only counter I can offer, and the support I can offer imjdh

is that during Pride Parades is the only time the heteros NOTICE us. Most of the rest of the time, most of us are "invisible" to them. Oh, yeah, some of them are vaguely aware that some of us are gay. But somehow, in their twisted-logic sort of way, we're not "being" gay. As if our dancing in a Pride Parade was "being gay" and their cutting up exactly the same way at Mardi Gras wasn't.

But in their mind, "it's different".

Here's a f'rinstance. My partner of nearly 14 years and I are getting legally married in VT later this year, then we're coming back home to have a Union/celebration/reception/pig-pickin' barbecue with our friends. My office-mates are invited. One co-worker is glad to attend... so long as I don't use the word "husband". Well, goddam, he will be. All of a sudden, I went from regular hillbilly farmer-dude that she didn't have to think about me oh-yeah being gay, to ZOMG!!!!ELEVENTY!! OH SHIT HE'S GAY!!!

No shit, sherlock. I was 5 minutes ago and when they scatter my ashes, they'll still be gay, too, a-flittin' in the wind, watch and see.

None of us changed from one minute to the next. But the heteros are having to accept us as we are; not as they wish to, just sometimes when they can put it out of their minds. That's the thing they simply cannot bring themselves to do. We want to think it's a simple thing: just take me for what I am and leave it be, just as we accept their heterosexuality as a foregone conclusion.

It just isn't. We can be equally acceptable -- or demonized -- as long as we're invisible.

I refuse. I'll be damned if I'll let either some uptight hetero or some outrageous queen let me modify who or what I am. They are who they are and I who I am.

As for the outrageous queen; go girl!

As for the uptight het, they need to get out more.

As for me, I'll keep digging my dirt, growing my veggies and fruits, loving my husbear and doing what I do.

'S'all good.

[Hello_Kitty]

15. Congrats on the upcoming wedding. eom

[HillWilliam]

16. Thanks!

I'm trying SO hard not to be a hillbilly groomzilla! There is NO etiquette for these things. Between figuring out which family members are bickering with whom this week and who's vegetarian this week and who's back on the barbecue bandwagon, let me tell ya, if I HAD hair above the ears, I'd be tearing it out. How do brides cope? It must be 4:20 somewhere...

[Stevenmarc]

17. Obviously Cord forgot the Mattachine Society protest dress code circa 1965

They look pretty natty too

http://www.rainbowhistory.org/Pickets.htm

[NMMNG]

18. They were quite brave to do that

Openly admitting you were gay in those days (when sodomy laws were on the books across the nation) could be very dangerous, even deadly.

[RetiredTrotskyite]

20. This Double Standard Pisses Me Off

I may have got married, but I am NOT "just like heterosexuals". Just being a trannygay puts paid to that idea. As is noted above, straights have times when they are being flamboyant--like Mardi Gras. More power to them. LGBTQ Pride Parades can be pretty off the hook, too. Again, more power to them.

Those who didn't think blacks should have civil rights were not swayed by suits and dresses worn by civil rights marchers. Nor does it make a damned bit of difference to the homophobes. They are determined to find something evil. If we dressed up like little ladies and gentlemen, something would be found to condemn it anyhow. So the man in the OP is wrong...dressing to please these people is not gonna happen.

Correct me if I am wrong, but when I was young, I noticed that African-Americans tended to dress up quit nicely for church and many dressed as well as any other Americans in any other situation. I don't know if that is true or if the informal styles in dress that have become more popular over the years is also true of the AA community. Back when MLK was still with us, people in general just seemed to dress up more than we do now, so the comparison with the way MLK was dressed might not be valid for this time and place. I am not sure on this...just an idea.

But I cn guarantee you that the bigoted jerks couldn't have cared less how civil rights marchers were dressed--they hated African-Americans and wanted to keep them from having equal civil rights with other Americans. The same is true now. Why the hell should the LGBTQ community tone down its celebrations to keep a bunch of bigots happy? If bigots want to start screaming about "the children", then don't bring them along! Last year (I think) that Peter La Barbera was screaming about kids being at the Folsom Street Fair in SF. This fair has been held for many years now and people have a good idea of what Folsom St. Fair is. It's basically a street fair for the BDSM community. People who bring their kids along and then act all upset and scandalised are being disingenious. I wouldn't bring my kids to Folsom if I had any, but that is a personal decision. I know people, both gay and straight, who have brought their children along and as nearly as I've been able to tell, the kids haven't been traumatised.

As for the larger Pride Parade, yeah, I might question the taste of some of the floats or marchers, but hey, I wasn't consulted before they decided on whatever thing they are (or aren't) wearing. I don't really have problems with what people chose to wear (or not).


This whole spiel about how LGBTQ people should dress to have people approve of them is about as valid as any comments about how African Americans should have dressed back during the civil rights struggle. That would be just the tip of the iceberg--there would always be other concessions that would be expected of us--the name of the game is to find a reason--any reason--to grant us full civil rights.