Death Star to close this Sunday, confirms Vader

[LeftishBrit]

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/07/08/death-star-to-close-this-sunday-confirms-vader/

The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan.

‘We deeply regret the huge loss of face – sorry, life – and will not rest until we find out who knew what was going on and gave the order to fire,’ said Lord Vader. ‘We now accept that the culprits were not two rogue stormtroopers who were larking about with a hackysack on their lunchbreak and knocked a cup of coffee all over the control panel triggering the accidental emission of a devastatingly powerful laser beam that just happened to be pointing towards the planet. We think their supervisor, a woman named Red Leader, might have been involved as well. Either way, it seems there were some bad apples working for the Dark Side.’....

[oldironside]

1. I thought it would be...

... Newsthump when I saw the headline. Still, very nice.

[LeftishBrit]

2. I think we get much more accurate news from Newsbiscuit and Newsthump...

than from the Sun, Daily Fail, and late lamented News of the Screws!

[oldironside]

3. I think they just say...

... what the intelligent, well-informed cynic is thinking.

[Jeneral2885]

4. Death Star one or two?

Remember there are always tow of them.

"Two there are, a master and an apprentice"